Fallacy (Apprehensive Duet Book 1) (28 page)

“Well, it involves showing her just what she’s missing and something for her to be jealous of,” my plotting friend says with a smile to match.

Ashely hooks her arm through Tiffany’s. “I had a feeling I was going to like you.”

Quinn

“You’re working late tonight,” Jordan says as he walks into my condo with a bag from the café down the street. He called about an hour ago asking what I wanted to do for dinner. When I told him I have a ton to catch up on from the office today, he offered to grab me something on his way here, which has become our routine.

“Yeah, I didn’t get much done at the office today, so it had to come home with me,” I explain, setting the stack of papers from my lap on the coffee table. “That smells good,” I tell him, stretching as I get off the couch.

“I got you a turkey club. I hope that’s okay,” he smiles as he brings my dinner to the table.

“It’s perfect, thank you,” I say as I take a seat at the table.

“What’s going on with you? You seem pretty off this week,” Jordan asks as I pick through my dinner trying to find any interest in eating it.

Boy, if he only knew what a loaded question that really is. I know exactly what’s going on with me, but I wouldn’t dare tell Jordan seeing Alex over the weekend really has me rattled. Alex has invaded my mind so much, I haven’t been able to concentrate on a damn thing in days. This is a distraction I don’t need. There are barely enough hours in the day to get through everything as it is.

I knew seeing Alex would be very hard. It’s why I did everything in my power to avoid him since Ashley and Tanner’s wedding. If he was going to be somewhere, I made sure I wasn’t. He called me a lot after I left him at the reception, but I never had the courage to answer. I knew if I answered and he asked me back, I would do it. I like to think I’m strong, but I’ve never been when it came to Alex, breaking all my own rules left and right.

Alex always had the uncanny ability to see right through me. He could always see through everything I did and get right down to the real me. It was unnerving and exhilarating. He wouldn’t have had to ask me what’s wrong as Jordan just did. He always knew exactly what was wrong and how to fix it for me.

I thought I knew him like that as well. I thought he was the one who was going to change my view of the world, but joke’s on me. I didn’t know him. He had me fooled. He’s just like every other man in my life and that’s why I had to get away from him.

But apparently I haven’t been able to sever the connection between us. Even with all the reasons I know he's not good for me, a part of me doesn’t seem to care. After all this time, he can still pull me into his orbit. Can still make me feel things I don’t want to feel.

Like the feeling of evisceration at seeing him with another woman at the christening. I wasn’t prepared for that. I wanted to be mad at Ashley for letting him bring his new girlfriend to the party celebrating our goddaughter, but I couldn’t without admitting a part of me still felt something toward him. Do I still feel something for him?

If I didn’t feel anything for him, would I feel this way? I heard Ashley asking his girlfriend how she liked New York and if the move was easy for her. Not only is she drop-dead gorgeous, but she moved her entire life to the opposite coast to be with him. I hate her and her cock-sucking red lips. Who wears red lipstick to church?

I’ve never really been a jealous person but nonetheless that evil bitch of an emotion has nestled inside lately, making me envious. Envious of people in love. Envious of a woman I know nothing about. It makes me feel a longing for something that has been over for a while. Something that wasn’t going to ever turn into anything other than heartache.

I’m well aware of how things would’ve ended for me if I’d stayed with Alex so why do I feel like I have a huge gaping hole in my chest having seen him in the flesh? Alex never fully left our little circle. He was still there, just from a distance. Having him back here now seems to have caused a change in me. It’s not a change I like.

“Babe?” Jordan asks, grabbing my hand to get my attention. Shit! I forgot he asked me a question. Even when Alex isn’t in the room, he can still dominate my thoughts.

“I’m fine, just busy and stressed at work. Nothing I can’t handle,” I say, giving the fake smile I’ve perfected over the years. The smile that says I’m Quinn Taylor and nothing can get to me.

“There’s nothing you can’t handle,” he smiles at me, patting my hand.

For fuck’s sake. I have a perfectly good man in front of me, and I’m sitting here consumed with the one I left years ago. I need to stop thinking about the past and worry about the future. My future with Jordan is spelled out pretty well. We’re aware of where this leads. There're no exceptions, therefore, nothing that can really hurt me. Unless, I don’t go through with this wedding. Then my father can destroy me, but only if I let him.

“You’re too good to me. One day some lucky woman is going to hit the jackpot with you,” I say with a sincere smile this time.

“Yeah, some day,” Jordan whispers while looking down at his food. There’s a hint of something in his voice, but I can’t decipher what. And I have too much on my mind already to try and solve more puzzles.

We finish our dinner in relative silence before Jordan cleans up and gets ready to leave.

“I’m heading home,” he says with unusual slowness to his voice.

“Okay. Thank you so much for dinner. I’m sorry I wasn’t better company tonight,” I say walking over to the door.

“It’s fine with me. Any time spent with you is a good time,” he says wrapping me up in a hug. I don’t respond, but I do return his hug. His words have me thrown.

With a kiss on my forehead, he says, “I hope whatever’s on your mind works itself out for you. Have a good night, babe.”

Before I can say a word, he’s through the door and closing it behind him, leaving me standing here very confused about his strange behavior tonight. Why does it seem that everything in my life right now is upside down? My fiancé is acting like a fiancé. My ex-lover has me feeling all sorts of fucked feelings I don’t like. I miss my best friend. My father’s threat looms over me. Nothing is as it’s supposed to be. I don’t feel in control of anything, and that’s something that leaves me feeling worried. I need to be in control of everything right now. There’s just way too much at stake for my mind to be pulled in so many directions.

Glancing at the pile of work in my living room, I decide I’m done for the night. My brain’s fried, and nothing I do will be productive. A shower seems like it could do me wonders right now.

After finishing up my shower, my mind races to find ways to help fix all the craziness in my life. I can’t do anything about Alex, Jordan, or my father right now, but I can call my best friend and hope to bridge the gap growing between us. I head to the kitchen to grab my phone from the charger and then crawl into bed while dialing Ashley’s number. Glancing at the clock on my nightstand, I notice it’s after ten. I hope she’s not already in bed or worse putting Michaela to bed. I don’t want to wake the baby.

I consider hanging up and texting when she doesn’t answer after several rings, but just as I pull the phone from my ear, Ashley’s giggling voice comes through the other end, “Hello?”

“Hey. I was just about to hang up. I thought maybe you were already sleeping,” I say with a smile. Sometimes a girl needs to hear her bestie’s voice to make her feel better. I’ve felt so disconnected from her for a little while. I hope that we can agree to disagree and move forward because I really need her right now.

Even though I seem like the tough one in our friendship, I’m not. If I had to go through everything Ash has gone through in the last couple of years, I wouldn’t want to get out of bed. I need some of her strength right now. I need her “Everything will be just fine” attitude.

“No, I’m not sleeping. I was getting into the car when you called, and it took me a minute to find my phone,” she says seemingly out of breath.

“Oh, being cooped up at home getting to you?” I ask.

“Yes. Alex and Tiffany asked us to dinner, and Margaret and Andrew offered to come over and spend some quality grandma/grandpa time with Michaela. Tanner said if I didn’t get out of the house soon, he feared I would go insane. So we went to dinner.”

Hearing they went out together as a couple with Alex and his new girlfriend hurts deep inside. I secretly want Ashley to hate her. I know it's juvenile and high-school-esque, but I need my best friend on my side of this. “Oh, that’s nice. So I guess you and Tanner like her?”
Please say you hate her.

”Yes. Oh, my God, she’s great. She’s going to fit in here perfectly once she finally moves and gets settled.”

Ashley and I are the same in that we don’t typically get along with lots of people. I always liked the loner feeling of our friendship. The sense no one else really understands us but each other. Hearing her rave about this chick makes me sick to my stomach.

I know I shouldn’t encourage her to talk more about Tiffany, but I can’t help wanting to know certain things. Well, one thing in particular. “Why didn’t she move all her stuff when Alex moved his?” What kind of girlfriend who is planning on moving with her boyfriend doesn’t correlate the move together?

“I don’t know. I know she had interviews to go through and wasn’t sure if she was going to get the job or not,” she answers.

“So her moving out here with him was dependent on her finding a job first? That’s a pretty shitty thing for her to do. She should’ve moved with him first and then worried about it if their relationship means a damn to her.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know I’ve said too much. I shouldn’t care about their relationship. I shouldn’t care if Tiffany isn't putting Alex first. It’s not my problem.

“What are you talking about? You know they’re…” Ashley starts to reply, but I’ve already checked out. I need to shut this down now. Where is this sudden need to torture myself coming from? I don’t want to know anything else. All this is doing is causing another wave of unsettling feelings to crash over me. Thinking about Alex and his relationship with Tiffany isn’t good for me. Just the thought of them together causes me to break out into a cold sweat and feel the need to vomit. I have no control of my emotions.

“Listen, I gotta run. I just wanted to call and see if you wanted to do dinner with Jordan and me over the weekend,” I say to switch the topic. I need to find ways for Ashley to get to know Jordan and realize he’s not a bad guy. Maybe then I can finally get her on board with the wedding.

“We just promised we’d help Alex and Tiff with all her stuff that’s coming over from Arizona on Saturday. And well, you know Sunday is out of the question unless you guys want to come to the game?” I haven’t been to a game other than the Super Bowl in two years. I couldn’t bear to be there with all the memories from a past lifetime. I’m not going to start going again now. Especially since I’m sure Tiffany will be there. Looks like my best friend found a suitable replacement for me in her life.

“No, thanks. Just give me a call when you have some time to get together,” I decline before disconnecting the call.

I called Ash with the intention of trying to calm the storm growing inside me. But it looks like she doesn’t have room for me anymore. Fuck her. Her life is perfect, and she found the perfect new friend to fit right in. She has no problem accepting Alex’s new significant other, but she’s done everything in her power to fight against me by refusing to accept Jordan.

I’m starting to wonder if this is her way of pushing me away. I used to be a part of everything in her life. There was a time when the four of us, Ashley, Tanner, Alex, and I, were thick as thieves. Nothing could come between us. I knew him moving back would change things. Things were easy when he lived on the other side of the country. Now he’s back, and the two of us went our separate ways, lines have been drawn, and sides have been chosen. Looks like I know whose side my supposed best friend took.

Quinn

“You seem much more aggressive than usual today, everything okay?” Melvin, my kickboxing partner, asks.