Fallen Angel (4 page)

“So, Derek. He just came by this morning to borrow a cup of sugar or what?”

Angel coughs, almost choking on his last bite. “I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t bring that up again,” he admits sheepishly.

“Yeah, I picked up on that.” I narrow my eyes. “What’s the story there? And is it a
don’t tell Addy
secret or a
don’t tell anyone
secret?”

He grins again. “I don’t have any
don’t tell Addy
secrets.”

For some stupid reason this makes me giddy in the most ridiculous of ways. “In that case, spill it. I’m an excellent secret keeper.”

Judging by the expression on his face, he has doubts about this. “Oh yeah? Even from your sister?”

“Especially Eda.”

Something I can’t quite catch transpires in his eyes briefly, and for a moment, I wonder if he knows the reason I came back. In which case, my sister sucks at keeping secrets, but I still don’t because I kept it from her for over a year. Not that it’s something to be proud of. If I had told her sooner, maybe I never would have wound up in such a mess. Then again, I ignored her advice the first time around, so maybe I was doomed to wind up here either way.

Regardless, Angel is staring off toward the kitchen door and I’m about to ask him why when he turns toward me again. “If you’re going to be coming around the next few days to play decorator, I might as well tell you. Derek’s staying with me for the time being. Shit reached the point of no return with Sammy. They’ve split.”

Holy shit. I did not see that coming. “What? But it’s temporary, right? I mean, they’re going to work it out. They have to work it out.” They’re kind of the only normal couple I know. If they can’t make it work, the rest of us don’t stand a chance in hell.

“I don’t think that’s going to happen, Bam Bam.” He gets up and clears both our plates as he goes. When he sits down again, there’s a pile of brownies sitting in front of me. Only I no longer have an appetite.

***

“I
t’s safe to come out again. She left over an hour ago.” Derek’s been holed up in here in the dark almost all day. It’s like you can’t even tell he took a shower and got dressed this morning. He’s right back to wearing his pansy ass pajama bottoms and I know for damn sure he’s just wearing them because Sammy got him those for Christmas last year.

“She was here long enough. What was all the giggling I heard coming from the kitchen earlier?” The glare from the TV makes his face downright scary looking considering he’s glowering at me and his jaw is bony as hell these days.

“Oh, you know. I had her laid out naked on my kitchen counter and was nibbling away at all of her most ticklish areas.” I flip on the light just as he jumps upright like he thinks I’m actually serious. “Man, what the fuck is wrong with you lately? We were having lunch.  We talked because staring at nothing in silence is your thing, no one else’s. And Bam Bam’s a girl. She fucking giggles.”

He drops back down into the probably permanent indent of his body in my guest bed. “Sorry. I just can’t pretend not to see the shit people are capable of anymore.”

I step in front of him, blocking the TV. “Explain yourself. I’m serious, man, or I swear to God your ass is sleeping somewhere else tonight.”

His eyes narrow and I feel my knuckles pop as I clench and unclench my fists. He’s sick right now. I get that. But he keeps coming at me like I’m a fucking stranger he can’t trust and I’m going to start treating
him
like one.

“I’m saying, no one is who they pretend to be. We’re all just parading around as the prettiest versions of ourselves, the ones we want other people to see. The ones others accept. Like, even. But we’re all rotting on the inside, some more than others.” His expression hardens and his gaze stares blindly into the room and I know he’s talking about Sammy. Rotting on the inside. Then, he snaps out of it and comes back at me. “Of course, you make no secret of your disgusting parts. You just flash that shit out in the open. Or so we think. Maybe there’s more. Maybe the goodhearted guy who’s always up for a good time and never up for a commitment isn’t really as charming and considerate as he pretends. Maybe he’s a selfish piece of shit who would take advantage of a young girl just to add another one to the collection.”

“You are out of your goddamned mind.” I move up around the bed to the other nightstand. Derek lunges for me as I pull open the drawer, but it’s too late. I’ve already found it. “Really? This isn’t even the good shit.” I throw the nearly empty bottle of cheap vodka in the trashcan by the desk.

“Fuck you. You don’t know what my life is like.”

“You’re right, I don’t. But as far as I can see, I’m the only other person in it these days. And if you want to keep it that way, you need to stop trying to make me out to be the asshole. I get that you’re having a hard time making Sammy the bad guy, but it can’t keep being me. I’m not hurting you, in fact, I’m the only one trying to help you.” I head for the door. “And not that I owe you any explanation here, but I’m not going to hurt Bam Bam either. She’s Ava’s sister for fuck’s sake. I’ve known her since she was a baby. And I sure as shit don’t plan on adding her to the
collection
.” 

I slam the door shut and march straight for my own room. I know he didn’t really mean any of what he said. Well, he meant it. About Sammy. I’ve just been his target by default these days. Shit’s getting old, but I can’t force the man to heal any faster than his heart is willing to. And apparently, it’s not willing to do squat. So, I suck it up and take one for the team. Everyone takes a turn around here sometime, and while Derek is down and out over Sammy, it’s up to me this time.

Kicked back on my bed, I reach for the remote. I’m not much for TV, so I have no fucking clue what’s on these days. With any luck, my phone will ring and I’ll have something,
someone
, better to entertain me here shortly.

Thirty minutes into some stupid reality show where people are going on naked blind dates and acting like that shit’s totally normal, and my phone finally beeps.

Ready to leave naked tweedle dee and tweedle dick behind, I pick up my phone and answer without even checking who it is. I never do. I like the element of surprise. Plus, my competitive side likes to challenge the charming side to see how fast I can recognize a girl just by the sound of her voice.

“What’s up?”

“
Shit
.” It was hardly even audible, but it was enough.

“Bam Bam?”

“I was kinda expecting you to let it go to voicemail.”

Damn, that had to have been in record time. “Why would I let it go to voicemail?”

“Because. It’s Friday night. I figured on you being out. But, it’s kinda quiet for a hoppin’ night club. Are you at home?”

I didn’t even realize it was Friday. “Um, yeah.”

“Damn, Angel. You’re not the wild rock star the tabloids make you out to be.” She sighs dramatically. “So disappointing.”

Even over the phone I can totally picture the face she’s making on the other end of the line, and I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, okay. Did you call for anything in particular or just to give me shit for turning into a more boring version of my tabloid self?”

Silence.

“Bam Bam?”

“Well, it’s just...I wanted to leave it in a message. I was all prepared. I made notes. I rehearsed it. It just feels like all that effort is going to waste by having this conversation. Live. With each other. Minus the automated voice.”

I shake my head, smiling. “Would you like to hang up and call back?”

“I really would.” I can hear muffled movements and then suddenly she pops back on, “Just to be clear, this time you won’t answer.”

“I will not,” I agree. Then, a satisfied sound hums through the phone line before I hear the click and she’s gone.

Still chuckling, I sit there, staring at my phone, waiting for it to ring again. When it does, I’m fully prepared to hit dismiss call and send it straight to voicemail. Only...I don’t.

“Hello?”

“What the fuck, asshole? We had a deal!” She huffs loudly and I bet her hands are balled up in fists and stacked fiercely on that tiny waist of hers as we speak.

“I know, but as you pointed out so acutely, I’m home. Alone. And I’m bored.” I lean back into my pillows and turn the TV off for good.

“I’m sure all it would take is a solid flick of your finger down your call log and you could drum up all sorts of entertainment.”

“No doubt. That’s just not the type of entertainment I’m looking for tonight.” I can hear her move again on the other end. Judging by the creaking wood and the quiet squeak of a mattress, she’s in bed as well.

“And what sort of entertainment is it exactly that you’re looking for?” she probes.

“The Bam Bam kind. So, you see, my options are pretty limited.”

She makes a noise that sounds like an escaped giggle she tried to recapture. “Yeah, I guess they are.”

“So, are you ever going to tell me what you called me for?” I switch to speaker, letting the phone rest in my lap. Her caller Id picture’s still on my screen. It’s the one linked to her email account, so I didn’t assign it to her and I’ve never looked at it before now. She’s sitting outside somewhere, with a book, like she’s trying to read but whoever took the picture was distracting her. She’s smiling. Not at the camera, but at the person behind it. And for an instant, I catch myself wondering what it would be like if it was me.

“Angel, I can’t tell you what I called you for,” she grumbles quietly.

“Why not?” I still can’t take my eyes off her face on my screen. How have I never noticed those brown eyes before? I always knew they were pretty, but they’re so much more. It’s like all of her is buried inside them. Sparks. Sadness. Smiles. Fierceness. They’re all in there and they’re captivating.

I really need to stop looking at her picture.

“I can’t tell you because you’ll laugh. Which is why I wanted to leave the message. So you could laugh, and I wouldn’t have to hear you.”

I want to laugh
now
, but I get the feeling she’d take offense to that. “Just pretend I’m the voicemail. I won’t laugh, promise. Here, I’ll even do the beep. Beeeeeeeeeep.”

“Okay, that’s so stupid. That’s not going to work.”

But I don’t answer. I just wait.

“I’m serious, Angel. I’m not going to do it.”

I still stay quiet.

“Ugh, fine! Here goes.” She clears her throat and I hear paper being un-crumpled in her hand. “Hi, Angel. It’s Addison. Well, Bam Bam. You probably don’t know who Addison is – that’s in my notes by the way – Anyway, I was just calling to let you know that I accidentally brought home one of your plates. Apparently, it was hidden under the last of the brownies I snuck into your kitchen for and stole when I said I was running back in to grab my phone right before I left. I’m a big fat liar. And you’re a dumbass because I was holding my phone in my hand when I came up with that excuse. Anyway, sorry about the plate. I’ll bring it back tomorrow when I come over to go shopping. The brownies, well, those I’m afraid you’ll have to learn to live without. Okay. That’s it. Bye.”

Then the line goes dead and I’m left sitting here in my bed, smiling like a dumbass.

“W
here are you going?” Ava actually stopped midstep upon discovering me in the kitchen.

“Angel’s.” Considering the topic, I’m going with a less is more approach.

“Why? You got me everything I needed yesterday.” She comes all the way into the kitchen and heads straight for the coffee maker. I hand her the Nutella after she refills her cup. She makes a face and whimpers, “I miss Hudson.”

“When are they supposed to get back?” I’m fully prepared to take this new topic of conversation and run with it.

“Not for another two weeks. But never mind that. What are you doing over at Angel’s today?”

Dammit
.

“I kind of agreed to take him furniture shopping.”

Ava’s never been good at keeping her thoughts to herself. Even when she doesn’t say them out loud, which is rare, they’re spelled out all over her face. At this very moment she’s thinking this is the dumbest idea she’s ever heard. For a multitude of reasons.

“That’s the stupidest idea I’ve heard in a long time. For an ungodly amount of reasons.” She’s so against this she’s not even drinking her coffee. Like she’s on strike or something.

“Eda, it’s not that big of a deal. I just couldn’t help but notice how half of his house is filled with boxes while the other half is empty. And, after I opened my big mouth about it, I really had no choice but to back it up.” I shrug. It’s that simple. Really.

“That is such bullshit and you know it.”

I take my cup and walk around the large island to put more distance between us. Because this will somehow make it harder for Ava to see right through me. “It is not bullshit. It’s the truth. Besides, you should be happy. You wanted me to get out of the house. Do something.”

“Yeah,
do something
.” Her eyes bug out dramatically. “Not,
do Angel
.”

“Do you hear yourself right now? Because you sound ridiculous. Fine, I make bad choices...a lot of them. But I’m not stupid enough, or a big enough glutton for punishment, to chase after another guy who will never care about me the way I care about him. So, yes, I’m going to help Angel buy some furniture. And I’m going to have fun doing it. And, I may even encourage him to take off his shirt if there’s any heavy lifting to be done, but seriously, Eda, what girl in their right mind wouldn’t?!”

Finally, the suspicion fades and something new, only slightly less insulting takes over. “We’re not talking about any girl in her right mind. We’re talking about you.”

“Ha ha.” I reach for an apple from the fruit bowl. The bats doing summersaults in my stomach probably won’t let me eat anything, but for appearance sake, I’m going to pretend I’m having some sort of breakfast. “This from the girl who fell in love with Blaise Nolan, pussy chaser extraordinaire and top notch fuck up.”

“Hey!”

“What? I love the guy, but I’m sayin’...shit could have turned out very differently for you. And no girl in her right mind would have gone into a relationship with him expecting the results you got.” And those results were nothing short of a miracle. I don’t think even Hallmark has managed to put a guy on screen as devoted and loving as Blaise is to my sister.