Fallen Angel (The List #3) (9 page)

Shrewdly though, I make sure I’m
always shouting louder than the grim voice inside me that’s telling me no
matter how much I want to protect her, I can’t protect her from me, from the
uncertainty. What if I hurt her, I mean really hurt her? Can I ever be deserving
of her affections?

Beth is stunning, perfectly
proportioned, effortlessly balanced, inside and out. The cherry on top is that
she has no clue just how flawless she is. She’s mine now and I’m hers. We can
make this work and for the first time in a very long time, I allow myself to feel
hopeful. I’m hopeful.

I curse under my breath but I can’t
take it anymore, I’ve got to touch her now, this is killing me. I use the
remote to turn the speakers down so it feels more like background music now.

“Angel, you’d better get that
beautiful body of mine over here now before my cock dies of neglect. I swear to
God.”

Beth’s cute little nose wrinkles
and she giggles. She leaps over to me not caring that her bouncing tits are
going to give me a heart attack. She dives on her knees in front of me. I reach
for her, taking her face in my hands and finally get to taste her again. I force
my tongue between her lips, filling her mouth to find its dance partner. Our
tongues circle and tease each other.

“You are fucking amazing B, and
you’re all mine.” She nods, lacing her fingers behind my neck for support. “Say
it. Tell me you’re mine.”

I didn’t intend on sounding so authoritative,
but I need to hear it.

“I’m yours.” She whispers on my
lips as she traces her tongue along them. “All yours.” Her hands move from my
neck to my shoulders and she pushes me back against the sofa. “So if I’m yours
then this is—” My cock is already reaching out of my waistband, impatiently
begging for her attention, which comes by way of a firm, much needed grip. “—this
is
mine
. Right?”

Seemingly a rhetorical question, as she wastes
no time in pulling both waistbands out and down, capturing my cock between her
lovely lips. When I take hold of her hair, my elbow nudges my phone, reminding
me that it’s still recording. I readjust it to film all of the action. Not that
this can be considered her sex tape but I’m already looking forward to watching
this back with her.

She’s teasing, flicking her tongue along my
thick wet head whilst she reaches down and takes hold of my balls. She moans
against my skin and takes me all in, rolling my balls simultaneously. I wrap her
hair around my fist, gliding my free hand along the length of her spine. Her
back shivers and she responds by groaning and taking me deeper, rippling her
tongue with expert precision. I tense my abs, stopping my hips from taking
control of the pace. There’s a shooting pain beneath the padded gauze patch.
Bastard stitches.

Beth finds her rhythm, keenly taking in all she
can until I start hitting the back of her throat. I put my chain in my mouth
and bite down.

Looking down, my eyes hungrily take in all they
can too; her head bobbing in my lap, my long inches fucking her talented mouth
surrounded by her overly stretched lips, the slope of her toned back, her
bronzed skin, leading down to one of my favourite spots—that perfect arch where
her curves climb up to meet her back, her hips popping out to the sides,
harnessing her delicious ass. She’s still wearing her thong; a reminder that
she’s still out of fucking bounds.

The friction of her tits rubbing the material
over my thighs, her fingers massaging my balls, her long hair bound tightly
around my fist whilst her mouth destroys my cock—it’s a sensation overload that
needs to ease up before I overload into her mouth without warning.

I don’t know when but I’m now tugging at her
hair so I try to slow her down. She’s relentless though, making her desire
clear. Still pressing me deep, she mumbles “Uh-uh.” Moaning, she withdraws and
clenches her lips together so I feel the tightness.

Beth looks up at me through long black lashes
as she catches her breath.

“I’ve wanted to taste you since Thursday
night.” She looks up at me to clarify, “Beforehand.” Whilst her tongue rotates
round and around, I reach my free hand down the front of her neck and find her
hard nipples waiting for me to roll and pinch. “Mmm—Jax.”

She descends again swift and deep, sending my
head back to face the timber beams once more.

“Angel—” I look back down and my fist works in
sync with her head, building and climbing. “That’s it. Like that. Swallow me.” Beth
pushes herself harder and I’m on the brink. Her appreciative moans create
vibrations that my cock can’t handle. “Take. Every. Last. Drop.”

I close my eyes and erupt into her mouth. God,
it feels amazing every time. The roof of her mouth cradles my cock whilst her
tongue waves underneath as I feel her swallowing all I have to give. She pulls
back quicker than anticipated. As she looks up and licks her swollen lips, I
can’t control the squeeze of another release that lands perfectly across her
nipple.

We both glance down and whilst I’m thinking how
damn fucking hot this looks, she arches her back, lifts her breast in her hand
and locks her eyes to mine. She slowly licks over her nipple in one efficient
stroke triggering a low growl to escape my throat at the carnal sight of my
woman.

My woman.

“You did say
every last drop
G.”

As she rubs her lips together, I unravel her
hair and meet her halfway, letting our mouths crash together. We interlink our
hands and crush our chests into one. I pull away first, kissing the tip of her
nose as she bats her eyelashes at me. We rest our foreheads and rub our noses
together, slowly from side to side.

“God, Beth, the places you reach.” She glances
down and wiggles her eyebrows, sucking in her bottom lip. “—yes, there, but
also here—”

I move to overlap her hand and bring it to my head,
tapping our fingers on my temple. She strokes down my face as I continue.

“—and in here.”

I move our hands from my cheek to my chest, my
heart. Her eyes fill with emotion and the cute little dimple on her chin
quivers.

“Those better be tears of happiness.”

She nods as she lets out a half laugh-half sob,
causing the tears to tumble but they don’t keep falling. Like a torch, her sincere
smile lights up my darkness in a way that I’m not used to. So I dare to hope that
I’m man enough to make the right decisions.

“Jax, I can’t believe we’re really together. I
mean, you are definitely sure? Because I know it’s a huge step for you, for
both of us.”

“This is a surprise for me too but I think we
both need to get better at following our instincts and not looking back. I’m
working on it. I know you still have unanswered questions but I still have some
business, some issues, I need to deal with before I can explain more to you.
Also—” I tilt her chin up so she can see I genuinely mean this. “—I’m under no
illusions that you’ll even want me once you get to know me, properly. I
wouldn’t blame you or hold anything against you, I promise.”

“Okay, my turn. This unexplainable, powerful bond
we have—I know you feel it too—it deserves us both to give it our all. I’ve
been willing to for a while but I would never have pushed you. The fact that
you’ve put your faith in us, shows me that you recognise this isn’t something
we can walk away from easily. If we get hurt, so be it. And I’m not being
flippant. I’m saying this because I know that whatever happens, it’ll be worth
it. I totally understand that when you let me in—all the way in—your fear is
that you’re gonna scare the shit out of me and I’ll run. But maybe my fear is that
you’re gonna get bored with me, with having just one girl—”

“Not gonna happen. I couldn’t. I won’t.”

“And that’s exactly my response to your fear too;
not gonna happen. I couldn’t. I won’t.” I get it. “But neither of us know what’ll
happen so all we can do is be ourselves and be together. Unfiltered honesty.
When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here.” I kiss her nose again and wrap my
arms around her bare back. “Now let’s go to bed—” Eyeing the semi setting to
work between us, she grins “—to sleep! Down boy, just a few more days, I
promise.”

“Good, because I can’t wait to wake my
girlfriend up with my head buried in her pussy.”

Monday 20
^th
April 2015

8:37am

Beth

“
C
onniving bitch.”

I mutter to myself in the kitchen as I remove
the note Jax left me on the fridge last week;
‘B, thanks for #18, I look
forward to returning the favour. Back about 11:30. You, me, a smoke and a film
sounds good to me Angel. P.S. No chick flicks! G x’

Angel.
That’s how Carmel knew.

My irritation soon disperses, when I re-read
his words and smile. Jax told me not to worry about her so I won’t. Instead, I
focus on his lovely handwriting and smile at his ‘#18’ reference, blushing to
myself at the recollection.

Retrieving my phone from my robe pocket, I open
my organiser app and scroll through my Fuck It list. Ah-ha, there it is, the
mighty number 23.
Go Beth!

Fuck It List

1. Blowjob

2. Handjob

3. Cunnilingus

4. Sex in a workplace

5. Sex in a car

6. Sex in the shower

7. Multiple orgasm

8. Get a tattoo

9. Get a piercing

10. Sex on the beach

11. Phone sex

12. Cybersex / Sexting

13. Tantric sex

14. Get stoned

15. Use food / ice
sexually

16. 69

17. Kiss a girl

18. Tie somebody up

19. Be tied up

20. Watch a porno alone

21. Watch a porno with
a partner

22. Do a lap dance

23. Do a strip tease

24. Sexual role-play

25. Make a sex tape

26. Sex outdoors

27. Go to strip show /
live sex show

28. Be spanked

29. Hit somebody

30. Kinky sex

I’m over the halfway line now, just fourteen
left to go. Admittedly it’s some of the trickier
ones remaining, but
with Jax as my boyfriend anything is possible.

O.M.G. We are seeing each other! I can’t shift
the goofy grin that keeps plastering itself across my face every time I think
about it. God, I hope he wasn’t caught up in the moment and he’s going to wake up
feeling regretful. I fold the note up and slide it into my back pocket, then
carry on making his breakfast.

Why am I trying to sabotage this already? I
didn’t just hear his words last night, I felt them. He meant them just as much
as I did. We have agreed to continue keeping a low profile for the time being
though. As much as I’m dying to claim him in public and stand proudly beside
him as his girlfriend, it’s still very early days. Plus I think we both enjoy
keeping each other to ourselves so there’s no rush. He understands that Wills
doesn’t count though so I can’t wait to tell her later.

I left Jax in bed whilst I showered and dressed.
I’m going into Next Chapter today. I’ve messaged Wills to arrange a much needed
girly night in for tonight.

Jax is sitting up in bed watching the news when
I get back upstairs. I put the coffee and orange juice on his bedside table.
Then put the tray with a bowl of chopped fruit and a bowl of cinnamon porridge
oats beside him on the bed. He makes a “
Mmm
” growl of satisfaction but I
don’t know if it was aimed at breakfast or me as he captures my wrist and pulls
me down for a delightful morning kiss. He tastes minty so I know he’s brushed
his teeth whilst I’ve been downstairs and I can smell his lush facial wash.

“I could get used to this.”

“Mmm, me too. You smell lovely.”

“Your favourite.”

“And you taste delicious. I don’t think I could
ever tire of your lips on me.”

“Ditto.”

When we got into bed last night we spent a few
hours talking and kissing—okay, mostly kissing. Our talking was mainly Jax
asking me about the poems I’d written. He’d read them the night before the
stabbing, so we’ve not had a chance to discuss them. I’m guessing they played
their part in helping him understand what I’ve been going through and maybe they
encouraged him to take a chance on us.

It also reminded me of the two poems I’d
written and slid under my pillow before it all kicked off Thursday night. I panicked
and dived out of his bed, remembering that Jack had stayed in the guest room
that night. Thankfully, they were still tucked away safely.

Another Day

Lying here beside you,
you are my strength, you set me free

Without realising
you’ve opened your heart for me to see

But it’s hard for me to
feel close to somebody so far away

I pray our worlds will
collide, in another life, another day

Heartbeaten

Standing here

Two hearts beating

Knowing here

One day we’ll part

Loving you

Whilst you’re with me

Wishing this

Was just the start

My heart was pounding at the thought of Jack
reading my words, especially those particular poems where I pretty much left a
piece of my heart on the page.

When I got back into bed I told Jax but said
that I’m not ready for him to read them just yet. Dropping the ‘L’ bomb on our
first night as a couple is almost as bad an idea as saying it when he’s a
little preoccupied with stab wound. I’m not going to get burned twice by the
same flame.

My favourite part of bedtime last night, was
making up silly games like taking it in turns to close our eyes and guess where
the next kiss was going to land. He’d hover his mouth over his chosen spot on
my body and as soon as I made my guess, he’d kiss me and we got a point for accuracy.
Although we soon lost track of the points and the kisses inevitably evolved
into licking, then sucking, then biting.

Spending time with him when we’re both in a
carefree state of mind was simply magical, which reassured me that we can do
this. I know that he’s never been this way with anybody else, which makes it feel
all the more special—as well as vulnerable.

I smooth down my clothes and feel the crinkle
of paper in my pocket.

“Oh yeah, F.Y.I. Your friend, the Queen of
Bitchcraft, she played me. She must’ve read your note on the fridge that night.
Look.”

I hand him the note.

“Mystery solved. She’s fine now though, I told
you I’d sort it.” I take the note and put it back in my pocket. “So,
Bitchcraft
?”

“The art of being a bitch, whilst having
you
believe she’s full of good intentions. She’s definitely mastered that!” He lets
out a chuckle but holds his side, reminding himself not to strain. “But, I
trust you and if you say she’s cool, then so be it.” I shrug it off and take a
sip of his orange juice. “Well, I’m gonna get going. Now be a good patient and
eat your breakfast for Nurse Taylor.”

“I like
assertive
nurse but
kind
nurse is also a favourite.”

His voice is raspy and his eyes are full of devilish
suggestions that invade my mind, trying to throw my plans for the day out of
the window.

“Well, if you behave yourself, maybe Nurse
Taylor will come back in a few days and take real good care of you.” Jax
strokes his hand down my back as I straighten up but then quickly reverses and
travels back up but this time under my shirt. “Na-ah. I’ve gotta go, otherwise
I’m gonna hit traffic.”

I reluctantly pull his hand away but melt at his
dramatic sad face. He pouts his bottom lip, which makes me want to bend back
over and suck it. I take his thumb and suggestively suck that instead.

“Well Nurse Taylor—” He watches my mouth.
“—please make sure you’re well rested between now and Wednesday because I don’t
plan on letting you get much sleep.” Wednesday can’t come soon enough. “I think
we’ll both be in much better form by then.”

I let go of his thumb and smile.

“Eat your breakfast, Jax.”

“One day soon, I’m gonna eat you for breakfast—in
bed.”

I clench my thighs together in response to the
tightening. God, I can’t wait to have that dirty mouth between my thighs,
making me feel beautiful and sexy and as high as a goddam kite. He slaps my
bottom loudly, snapping me out of my filthy reverie. I need to get out of here,
otherwise I’ll never leave.

We have another slow kiss goodbye and I head out.
He has given me new security codes for the doors and gates but reassured me
that he changes them regularly and it’s just a precaution, there’s no real
threat.

Jax is up and about more now. Jack will be swinging
by at lunchtime and again tomorrow. I’ll be back Wednesday, which seems ages
away already. I’m really looking forward to seeing Wills later though.

5:25pm

“Care to enlighten me as to why an extra £175,000
is now sitting in my savings account, Mike?”

“Hello to you too. It’s your half of the house,
as promised. What’s the matter?”

“Try the fact that I don’t appreciate finding
out you’ve sold
our
house via a weekly text alert from my bank
confirming my freakin’ balance! You didn’t even let me know you had a buyer!”

“Sorry, it all happened quickly. I got some
interest a week or so ago and then next thing I know, the estate agency called
to confirm we had a cash buyer for the asking price and the money was being
transferred for a fast-track settlement. I’ve been busy packing up—”

“Shit, Mike. This is all so fast. So that’s it
then, you’re going to Australia?”

“Yes. I’m sending most of my belongings over there
by the end of the month. I’ve got a few contracts to finish up with at work, so
I’ll be travelling shortly after that. I’m actually looking forward to it. New
beginnings and all that. Fresh start.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling. Sorry for snapping
at you. It was just a shock, that’s all. I know you’ve got loads on your plate.
Do you think we should maybe meet for a coffee before you go or—”

“I don’t know, Bethany, maybe. I guess that’s
your call. I would like to say goodbye face to face. After everything, we did
have some happy years.”

“I’m in Devon for bank holiday weekend.”

“Okay. Just get in touch and let me know whatever
you decide. I’ll be gone by the tenth.”

“Okay yeah, I’ll give it some thought.”

11:02pm

“B, I’m so happy for you. Everything’s fitting
into place. But I’ll say it again, my mom would be mortified if she felt like
she’d pushed you out, you are welcome to stay here as long as you need—you know
that right?”

Wills tops up our wine glasses, flicking her
new bright purple highlights over her bare Spanish sun-kissed shoulders.

“Of course I do and I’ve loved staying here
with you but it’s like you said, the timing of everything is making me feel
this is the right thing to do. I called Jax after I’d spoken to Mike today. We
spoke about me starting to seriously look at places now I’ve got the finances
ready and so he suggested I stay with him until Devon.”