Fallen Crest Alternative Version (35 page)

His head lifted. His eyes pinned me down and he frowned. “Sorry? For what?”

“I knew.”

His eyebrows shot up. “You did?”

“It wasn’t right and I feel horrible about it. So does Mason. He hasn’t said much, but I can tell it’s been weighing on him.”

“I know.” He expelled a deep breath and sank onto the other couch. Resting his elbows on his knees, he caught his head in his hands. He scraped his fingers through his hair before he lifted those same haunting eyes to mine again. “I feel horrible about it. He tried to talk to me at school, but I couldn’t. I just,” he took another deep breath, “couldn’t. I didn’t know what to say.”

“I texted you. We texted you.”

He looked back down, and his head bobbed up and down. “I know. I got them. I didn’t know what to say, Sam. I feel horrible about everything and how Miranda spun it. It was wrong. Shit.” He ran his hands through his hair again before letting them fall to his lap with a thud. “Sam, what she was going to say was wrong. I dated her to protect you. I wanted her to shut up and not go after you anymore. She couldn’t if she was dating me and she’d look like an idiot when I dumped her, but I had no idea she would figure out to spin it this way. I mean, seriously, Mason setting me up to do that?”

Wait. What? I frowned.

He kept going, “Then she started spewing about how I had feelings for you and that she told you, I didn’t know what to do. I don’t even know how she figured that part out, but everything else...I had to leave. I had to think about everything and what to even say to you about it.”

He didn’t believe her. He did have feelings for me. Both realizations shattered me. Then I realized the actual significance of it. He left because of him, not because of Mason. I started thinking over the text messages.

Can we talk?

Where are you?

Please call me?

I knew Mason had sent similar ones, but there’d been nothing about Mason’s manipulation. Nothing. There had only been questions from us about where he was, if he could call us, etc.

Oh my god.

I lifted horrified eyes back to him. He had no idea. Miranda had been telling the truth.

“Logan,” I choked out. My voice was hoarse. “Wha--what did she say to you?”

He frowned and anger flashed over his face for a moment. “You mean that bullshit about Mason manipulating me? She didn’t tell you?”

I could lie. I could cover everything. I took a breath. “What did you say to Miranda? She hasn’t said anything to me the last few weeks.”
“Because I fucking told her not to touch you.” He grew heated. “I threatened her, if she didn’t leave you alone, I’d tell everyone her secrets. Trust me. She’s got them. She did some dirty shit with me.”

I grew sick. “You recorded it?”

“Fuck no,” he snorted. “But I remember. I have a photographic memory, so does Mason. I remember every little detail. People would believe me because she told me things about all her little friends too.”

“Secrets about them?”

He nodded, looking away. His hands went back to twisting around each other. “Yeah. I have enough baggage on all them. If it came out, they’d go ape-shit on her. She won’t say a word. I promise, Sam.”

Logan hadn’t believed her. He made her not believe herself. I bit my lip, wondering if that was true, but it didn’t matter. Miranda did know. She was silenced, but she still knew. So did we. I didn’t know what Mason would’ve told me to do, but I knew what to do. With the decision made, I knew what else I’d have to do afterwards.

My stomach shrunk. I grew nauseous. I wanted to throw up, but I couldn’t. My hands started shaking, but I heard myself speak, “Logan,” I paused. This would change everything.

He asked, “Yeah?”

I started saying goodbye to them in my head. I had to prepare myself. Then I said, “She was right.”

His eyes narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed together. “What do you mean?”

My throat was dry. “She was right.” Shit. “About everything. About Mason, about Nate. I knew.”

I stopped and waited. The storm would come.

He grew still, eerily still. A minute passed. Another, then a third. He jerked forward. “What are you saying, Sam? What exactly are you saying?”

“Mason wanted her to be shut down. He used you to do it.”

“Nate? You said Nate?”

My voice started shaking. “Nate told you to date her. He--”

“He set me up?”
My neck was stiff, but I jerked my head in a nod. “Yes.”

“Mason set him up to it?”

I couldn’t say it again. I sat and waited. I couldn’t do anything else.

“And you knew?” He stopped, scowling now. He sounded confused. “But...my feelings?” His gaze swung to mine again. They were piercing. “You knew?”

“I,” stopping, I swallowed. I couldn’t talk. “I think I always knew.” It came out as a whisper.

“My god,” he murmured. “My god. Mason. You. Who else knew?”

I shook my head. “We didn’t talk about it until Miranda. I don’t know who else knows.”

“Nate?”

“I don’t know.” That was the truth. “I didn’t know he did it because of your feelings until Miranda said it. It clicked then, but I knew it was the truth. I knew he was worried because of Tate. He didn’t want me to come in between you guys.”

I stopped and heard my own words in my head. He didn’t want me to come in between them. Mason hadn’t been right to manipulate Logan, but I understood why. I was already coming in between them.

“I’m sorry, Logan.” I couldn’t come between them.

He started to shake his head. “No. No, this can’t be happening. My brother doesn’t do this, not to me. He wouldn’t. There’s no way.”

He had.

Logan fell silent. Then he cursed. It was low and soft.

I jumped from the sound of it. “I’m so sorry, Logan.”

“My own brother…”

I started to stand up, but my legs weren’t working. I fell back to the couch and took a deep breath. Work. I willed them to work and then I started to stand again. It was slow and unsteady, but I stood upright.

Logan wasn’t looking at me. He was bent forward, his head was cradled again in his hands. “My own brother.” He repeated those words.

A tear slid down my cheek. I had done this. I couldn’t undo this. “I’m so sorry, Logan. I am. I really am.”

He didn’t hear me. My voice was a whisper. I left him there, like that. Going to my room, I began packing in a blind rush. Logan’s voice, the hurt in it, was on repeat in my head. I did that. I was the cause of it, and I had to fix it.

I didn’t know how long it took me, but I packed enough. Throwing my books and laptop into a bag, I took a breath and scanned the room. I felt like I was dying inside, but I only knew one thing. I couldn’t be the cause of them falling apart. After scribbling a note and leaving it on the kitchen table, I left.

I drove to my dad’s and knocked on the door. When he opened it, he took one look at me and stepped aside.

I was moving back in.

It was an hour later when he asked me what happened. I told him. “I broke up with them.”

*

Mason called me that night. He came to the house, but David didn’t let him in. Analise came over the next day, but she brought my bags with the rest of my clothes. She asked for David to leave the house before she came inside. I hated asking him, but he left without a word. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and then he whispered, “Just call when she’s gone. I’ll bring food back for us.”

More tears spilled at his kindness.  

Then I sat down at the kitchen table. Analise made herself tea and she placed her cup down and took her seat. She sat as if she were the queen in her own servant’s headquarters. I snorted to myself. It hadn’t been long ago when she lived in this home, when she had been a wife to David, and now she was acting like this.

I couldn’t keep the bite from my voice as I said, “Thanks for bringing my stuff. You can leave if you want to.”

“What do you mean by that?”

I gestured at her. “It’s obvious you can’t stand being here. Go, Analise. I’m fine.”

“Honey,” she started.

I stopped her, lifting a hand. “No. I’m fine. I’m living here now.”

She frowned. “This is why I didn’t want you sleeping with him. This would’ve happened anyways. It’s probably best it happened now and not later. It would’ve been a bigger mess than it is now.”

“You’re right. It would’ve been and Mason and Logan would still hate you.”

She stiffened. “That’s a mean thing to say to me.”

I couldn’t handle it. “Are you kidding me? I loved him. You’re my mother. You’re supposed to be sympathetic. Supportive. Your first time seeing me and you’re thankful it happened now and not later. You’re happy this happened, aren’t you?”

“I brought your stuff.” She pointed at my bags. “I didn’t have to do that. I did that to help you.”

“You did that to save yourself from a bigger mess.” I rolled my eyes. This was my mother. She was selfish, shallow, and she would never be caring towards me. I knew not to expect it now. “They’re still going to hate you, Analise. Even if he does marry you, James’ sons will always loathe you.”

“Stop it.”

“No.” She came here. She judged me first. “I left Mason because I didn’t want to come between them. How dare you act like this was an inconvenience to you.” I narrowed my eyes. My anger started swirling in me. “I left to prevent more heartache. You cause heartache.”

“STOP it.”

My voice rose. “You cheated on my father.”

“I did not.”

“David. He’s my dad, no matter where the sperm came from. You were wrong to take me from him.”

“Stop it, Samantha.”

I was just starting. “You were wrong to keep me away from Garrett. You were wrong to manipulate David. You were wrong to lie to me. You lied to me. I’m your daughter. You screwed with my life so that yours was easier. That’s what you did. You put yourself before my needs.” The anger was coursing through every part of me now. I couldn’t stop even if I wanted. “You fucked everything up. I have to pick up the pieces. Not you. Me. I have to try and make things right and I have no idea how to do that.”

“Shut up.”

I grew even more heated. “You shut up. You stop doing what you do. You ruin everything, Analise. You ruin everyone. You’re going to ruin their family too. If he doesn’t leave you, you’re going to cheat on him. You’ll meet someone else, someone even more powerful and rich and I hope, I really hope, that guy will see through you. I hope he’ll destroy you because that’s all you do.” That’s what I had done. I grew quiet, the anger still boiling in me, and I knew that I had done too much damage already to Mason and Logan. “I’ll stay away. I’ll stay out of Mason and Logan’s lives, but you can’t hurt anyone else.”

She had grown pale. Her hands were clenched around the teacup.

I shook my head. She couldn’t hurt anyone else. “You can’t cheat on James. You have to be loyal, faithful, loving. Stop causing more wreckage, mom. Just stop. I’ll stop too. You can’t keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Samantha,”

“Mom. Stop.” I stood up from the table. I couldn’t stomach the sight of her. “I’m living with David from now on. I have no idea what Garrett is doing. He’s with his wife now. He might reach out. I have no idea, but I’m through waiting. David’s the only one who hasn’t left--” He did leave you. Pain sliced through me at that thought, but he was the best option. I had no one else. “I’ll stay here with him, but I don’t want anything to do with you. I can’t stand you.”

“Samantha,” her voice was a soft whisper now. Tears swelled up in her eyes.

“Go.”

“Sam.”

“Go. I mean it. Leave me alone. Thank you for the bags, but go.” I turned away. I couldn’t handle looking at her. She was a connection to Mason and Logan. Shit. I drew in a shuddering breath. I missed him. I loved him. I couldn’t see Analise anymore. She’d remind me of him and I wouldn’t keep going then. I had to banish everything out of my life that reminded me of him, of them.

I didn’t wait to see if she left or not. I went upstairs and locked the door. David came home later in the evening. He knocked on my door and offered supper, but I couldn’t eat.

*

Mason called again. He called the house. He called my phone. He called David’s cell phone. He stopped every night at the house for a week. David turned him away each time. I heard him the last time. I heard the anger in his voice, and he threatened, “I’m done being patient.”

I was in the kitchen and held onto the counter to keep from going to him.

David cleared his throat. “Mason, when she wants to see you, she will come to you.”

“Sam?” he called inside. “You owe me an explanation.”

I left him that note.

“A fucking note doesn’t cut it.” He read my mind. “Logan and I both have some things to tell you. You owe us, Sam. You owe me.”

He was right, but I couldn’t. Pain, longing, yearning to be in his arms overwhelmed me. All of those emotions, plus more, swept up. I had to stay away. I wasn’t strong enough yet. I couldn’t see him or I would take it back. Everything would be damaged again.