Fallen Ward (Deepwoods Saga Book 3) (4 page)

“You had been fighting and taking care of yourself for eighteen years before you ever met Wolf. You’re accustomed to this and know how much danger you can take on before you’re in over your head. It’s why you reacted the way you did, right? How dare he think that you couldn’t handle this, when you’ve been taking care of yourself and everyone around you long before he came along?”

Markl had hit the nail on the head. That was exactly what had angered her. “But he’s used to protecting me, and that’s why he thinks I can’t?”

Shaking his head, Markl corrected, “He’s used to protecting you, and the thought of leaving your safety in the hands of people he doesn’t know scares him down to his marrow. Siobhan, I don’t think you realize just how strong his feelings are. That man’s protective instincts are stronger than any other man’s I’ve met. The first month I was with this guild, it seriously terrified me whenever I went near him, because I was afraid that if I just breathed wrong around you, he’d take me down. Mercilessly.”

“Surely you’re exaggerating,” she protested weakly.

“I’m not,” Markl denied firmly. “His desire to protect you is that strong. You are the cornerstone of his sanity. If he ever lost you…well, the aftermath wouldn’t be pretty. I shudder to even imagine it.”

Siobhan still thought that Markl might be a little off in his observations—but probably not that off. “I know he was like that the first few years he was in the guild, but surely that’s changed…that look on your face said it hasn’t changed.”

“If anything, it’s probably gotten stronger. He loves you, Siobhan. And the easiest way that a man shows his love for a woman is by protecting her. I think you know that.”

She did. Or thought she had, until that fight upstairs. Wolf’s love could be overbearing, and frustrating, especially when he was overreacting. Still, she knew him well, and she should have realized why he reacted the way he had. If nothing else, she should have tried to understand what he was trying to say. She ran the fight with Wolf back through her head, taking things in his perspective, and winced when she did so.

“Ahh, see his point, now?”

The headache that had been brewing arrived in full force and she rubbed her forehead in a pained way. “Alright. I understand his point. But he can’t always protect me!”

“He doesn’t see it that way. To Wolf, his priority is you. Always.”

Yes, that was crystal clear to her now. “How do I resolve this?” she whined.

Markl held up both hands in a gesture of surrender. “That, I can’t help you with. It’s between you and him. All I’m trying to do here is to help you see things from his perspective.”

“You did that.” Grumbling, she went back to rubbing at her forehead. “Wonderful. I guess I get to figure out how to fix this.”

“So you’ll take back your offer?”

“You and I both know I can’t do that. We just don’t have the manpower. No,” she sighed, feeling bone weary. “I’m going to have to come up with some sort of compromise.”

Rune had seen Wolf in a variety of moods over the past several months he had been in the guild, but depressed was a new one. He found the other Wynngaardian sitting on the back stoop of the inn, leading out into the stable yard. Why Wolf had ended up here, well, that he didn’t know. Could be it was simply the first place he’d found that didn’t have people in it.

If asked, Rune would be the first to admit that he was bad with people. ‘Sympathy’ was totally new to him, and it was Siobhan who had taught him that it even existed. Not that he knew how to feel it himself, most days. Camaraderie, and friendship, and that indefinable sense of belonging had all been new to him as well, but after being in Deepwoods this long, it felt normal now. Most days. Rune still struggled with how to show it properly, but he felt it, and that alone was an improvement over his past self.

When Wolf had slunked down the stairs after that spectacular fight, Rune had watched him go without trying to stop him. The other man had walked so heavily that it was a wonder he didn’t leave craters in the ground with every step. Something had prompted Rune to get up and go after him, but even as he stood just behind Wolf, watching him, he wasn’t sure what. Maybe it was friendship. Maybe he’d finally gotten a handle on that elusive ‘sympathy’ or maybe it was something entirely different.

“What, Rune.” Wolf remained slumped in on himself, facing the ground, not lifting his head at all as he said those flat words.  

Not quite knowing what to say yet, Rune sank down to sit next to him, their shoulders brushing. He looked up toward the sky, watching a few thin clouds float past, as he tried to form the words he felt welling up in his chest. Instead of saying something in an attempt to comfort, as he’d seen Siobhan do, a question came out.

“When Siobhan goes into a place that you know is dangerous, and you can’t go with her, how do you feel?”

Wolf made a sound that was half-growl, half-groan. “Kiō, I’m in no mood to answer such questions.”

Rune normally would have gotten up and left at that point, but he only half-heard Wolf’s response. A strange certainty had come over him, a sense of self-discovery, and he felt like he had to keep talking to get a proper look at it. “Does it make you feel like you can’t take a proper breath? Like someone has a hand around your heart and has squeezed it hard?”

Because their shoulders were just touching, he felt it when Wolf went taut. Slowly, his head lifted enough that he could turn and meet Rune in the eyes. “Is that how you feel when Siobhan goes into danger?”

“No,” Rune denied with a simple shake of the head. “Denney.” So those moments of terror came hand in hand with loving someone? He’d thought it was just his dark background that made him prone to think of every worst case scenario. Well, maybe he shouldn’t use Wolf as a gauge, considering he also had a bad background. Re-thinking that, Rune added, “Well, I do when any of you go into danger, a little. Makes my heart thump hard. But it’s always the worst with Denney.”

Coming out of his bad mood, Wolf stopped slumping and instead leaned back, putting his shoulders against the door behind them. “You know why it’s the worst with her?”

Rune was used to those questions from Wolf. Tran and Fei did it to him too. They always asked a question, making him think about things, so he learned on his own why he felt what he did. At first it had bothered him, but now he understood that they weren’t feeding him the answers because it was better for him to learn it on his own. So he didn’t feel annoyed when Wolf asked him this, and just answered it bluntly.

“It’s because I love her.”

Wolf’s head snapped around so fast his neck cracked.

Rune found this reaction amusing and chuckled. “Look at that face. What, you didn’t think I know what it’s like to love someone? Wait, you really didn’t, did you. I’m insulted. What, did you think because I grew up the way I did, I couldn’t feel love for someone else?”

“No, kiō, it wasn’t so much that,” Wolf denied. His tone said otherwise, though.

Snorting, Rune shot him a look that said he didn’t believe that for a second. “It was Siobhan that first taught me, y’know. How to love someone. She taught me family love, and friendship. The rest of you did, too. But it was watching Markl and Sylvie that let me figure out that how I felt when I was near Denney was different.”

Wolf used a palm to scrub his face, hard, several times. It seemed that Rune’s confession had startled him badly. Finally, he found his tongue enough to ask, “How long?”

“How long, what? Have I felt this way? Or have I known?”

“Both.”

Rune pondered this question and found he couldn’t answer the first part. Trying to pinpoint a specific time was impossible. So he went for the second. “I think it was about two months or so ago. Before we talked about going to Saoleord.”

“
Sinte
,” Wolf swore. “That means I lost the bet with Conli.”

An amused grin took over Rune’s face. “You two bet on this? Really?”

“We bet on everything,” Wolf responded dryly.

“True, but I didn’t think anyone else realized it.” Rune had thought, actually, that everyone else was too involved with their own problems to pay much attention to what he was feeling.

“You really thought that Conli wouldn’t notice you paying extra attention to his niece?” Wolf shook his head in pity. “Kiō, be sensible.”

Alright, well, maybe he should have realized that Conli’s protectiveness towards Denney would make him hyper aware of anyone being close to her. Not ever having family until Siobhan, Rune couldn’t always predict how family relationships worked.

While this was interesting, it wasn’t what he came out here to talk about. He lifted one shoulder and shrugged this aside. “Y’know, it was me realizing my own feelings that made it obvious how you felt for Siobhan. Do you know your own heart, Wolf?”

Wolf met his eyes steadily. “Your attempt at sympathy is badly done, Rune. You need to work on your people skills.”

Only partially offended by this (because even he could admit Wolf was right), he responded indignantly, “I have some.”

“Assassination does not count as a people skill.”

Delighted at the teasing, Rune laughed outright, rocking backward on his seat.

Wolf’s mouth twitched upward, apparently amused at Rune’s reaction. “I suppose I should take it as a good sign that you’re even trying to be sympathetic.”

Grin still splitting his face, Rune parried, “It’s not sympathy. It’s empathy.”

“Ahhh. I should have figured.” Shaking his head, Wolf went back to staring at the plain paving stones under their feet. “I know my own heart, Rune. And I know why she reacted the way she did. I said the wrong things.”

Oh? Then he (hopefully) knew what to do next. Rune was glad for that, because he only had one piece of advice to give. “If you’re stuck for what to do, go ask Markl.”

“Markl?” Wolf repeated, an odd look on his face.

Rune nodded somberly. “Markl. He knows how to protect a woman without ruffling her feathers.”

For a long moment, Wolf turned this over in his mind. “I’ll do that.”

Satisfied that Wolf was no longer depressed, and knew what to do, Rune felt his job was done. He pushed his way up to his feet and turned, ready to head off.

“Kiō.”

Stopping in mid-step, he turned just enough to look back over his shoulder. “What?”

“
Heill ok sael
.”

Hearing the traditional expression of thanks in that moment took Rune completely off-guard. It was the first time that Wolf had ever said it. He had to find his tongue before he could respond, “
Pakkan
.”

Wolf’s eyes crinkled in a subtle smile. “And for the record…I’m glad that you’ve learned you love Denney.”

It wasn’t only the strong sunlight that made Rune feel warm in that moment. “Me too.” Content for the first time since they’d lost Goldschmidt, Rune turned on his heel and headed off.

If he were to keep Denney safe, he had work to do.

While Wolf and Siobhan had been fighting upstairs, Darrens had sensibly chosen to break the meeting for now and go gather information before meeting back in the afternoon. Rune and Grae had been tasked to go with Ryu Jin Ho to the outer wall. They were to make calculations and do some investigating of the land and the water to see how feasible Wolf’s idea was. Rune had stayed behind only to talk to Wolf, but with the other enforcer more or less taken care of, he went directly to the eastern gate to meet up with the other two men.

He saw Grae first, standing just inside of the gate, a pencil stuck behind an ear and rolled up paper in one hand. Rune knew from experience that Grae could do all of the calculations in his head, but when people were asking for information like this, he often would write it down so that others had something to refer to. Grae was a very considerate man. Rune tried to be more like his master, but often he didn’t have the sense of what the right thing would be to do. He ended up emulating Grae more often than not.

Grae’s head cocked slightly as he came under the gate’s shadow. “How’s Wolf?”

“Not depressed, now.” Rune felt a sense of self-satisfaction saying that.

Eyebrows climbing, Grae asked in surprise, “Truly? After fighting with Siobhan, Wolf’s usually depressed the rest of the day. At least. What did you say?”

Come to think of it, Rune didn’t know what the magic phrase had been to pull Wolf out of his funk. “We talked about a lot of things. I told him to ask Markl for advice.”

For some reason, Grae gave him an odd look. “Markl.”

“Markl knows how to protect without making the women angry with him.”

“Well, I grant you that. Ever since he and Sylvie started courting, I think I only saw her get angry at him once. After that, he seemed to have figured out how to handle her.” And that was saying something. Every man in the guild had a new respect for Markl due to his skills in pacifying Sylvie. She could be temperamental at times. “Well, I’m glad Wolf’s been sorted out. Let’s get to work, then.”

Rune fell into step with his master. It was only when they passed through the gate entirely that he saw Ryu Jin Ho. The man had an eyeglass up and was peering in the direction of Goldschmidt. When they stopped next to him, he lowered it, but kept facing toward the other city as he commented, “It truly is flat the entire distance. I could actually see the city from here.”