Authors: Jolene Perry
Falling (27 page)
I spin to face him, but I’m still in shock over what I think I’ve decided to do.
“Are you okay?” Dad softly touches a corner of my eye, and I realize I’m tearing up.
“I’m so sorry
,
Dad. I can’t go with you.” I blink and more tears fall.
We stand and stare at one another for a moment, neither of us moving, me still having no idea what to say to him. What to ask.
“Come on, let’s sit.” He starts to walk away.
I feel too frantic to sit. Instead I pace
,
picking up random bits of my things and stuffing them back inside my bag. “I came up here to hide, Dad. I graduated from school, and I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted to work for you eventually, and I knew that I needed to do something to show you that I could do it, but I had no idea how to start.”
“Sit down.” Dad sits on the bed facing me.
I sit on the other bed facing him, my hands clutched together.
“I was walking around with this mask on of who I want to portray without even realizing it, and then he totally saw through me, and it changed things.” I’m shaking.
“Jason.” He nods. There’s a half smile on his face.
“Yeah.” I swallow but my mouth still feels too dry. “I love him, Dad. I know you wanted more from me, but I love it up there. It’s that I still want to be there for now, if he’ll take me…”
“What do you mean
if he’ll take you
?” My dad sounds disbelieving. He sounds like every father should; like there’s no way that a boy wouldn’t jump at the chance to be with his girl.
“I haven’t been good to him, not like I should. Not like he deserves.” I shake my head. I slide my backpack to me and clutch it under an arm. “It’s that if I don’t take the chance, I’m going to miss it, and this… Jason isn’t something I want to regret in five years.”
Dad reaches over and touches my face. “Dana, all I’ve wanted was for you to be happy. When you told me a long time ago what you wanted, I tried to help you stay on the path that would take you there.”
“It took me here instead,” I say. “But if things go the way I want them to
,
I’ll be in Hawaii all summer. You should come visit.” I try to smile, but my insides feel like
Jell
o, so I’m not sure how successful I am.
“If you’re in
Hawaii
.” He smiles. “I definitely will.”
I’m doing this. I’m actually doing this. I pull out my phone to dial the number for Josh and James with shaking fingers.
“I still need to catch my plane back home,” Dad says.
“And I need to get out of here before I lose my ride.” My heart doesn’t pound, it bangs. This is okay. Dad is okay. I’m okay. And maybe I haven’t screwed this all up.
We both stand. Dad takes me into a big hug. “I love you, Dana. I hope things work out the way you want them to.”
“Me too.” I pull against him hard. “Thank you, Dad.”
I turn, run into the hallway
,
and dial the number I have waiting on the screen of my phone. This is the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
JASON
Unexpected.
I wheel my carry
-
on into the main room. Justine and Boz are working at full tilt with the groups wandering in to start their weekends early. I feel bad about leaving them, but don’t have a choice. If I give Dana too much time, I’m afraid that logic will completely take over, and I’ll lose my chance.
“Dana!” Justine nearly screams it from her spot at the stove.
“Hey.”
Dana
smiles at Justine.
She takes off her coat and hands it to James. She’s stunning in another pair of pants that look made for her, heels, and a blouse that should never see the inside of a lodge.
“Wow! You look gorgeous!” Justine runs over and throws her arms around Dana.
Boz smiles and points to the part of his stomach that’s bulging over his pants with how he’s knotted up his T-shirt. “Hey Dana, I thought you took off! I’m trying to fill your shoes here. What do you think?” He turns around for her to get the full effect. It’s pretty bad, but hysterical.
“Nice.” She smiles
,
nodding her head in approval.
Our eyes catch, and she walks toward me. I expect her to smile and let me take her in my arms
,
but she has this weird scowl on her face.
“Weren’t you going to fight for me at all?” She reaches out and pushes my chest with both hands.
I’m still in shock she’s here, and stumble backwards a step with the force.
“I mean, you could have said something! You could have given me a real hug, anything
.
Something like,
‘
Dana, don’t go,
’
or
‘
Dana, I like being around you
’
or
‘H
ey Dana, you’re a cool chick, and I want to see you again,
’
something
!” She pushes me again and puts her hands on her hips. “I had to ride on the back of a snowmachine behind
James
!” She looks behind her and points.
He shrugs in mock innocence.
“In
heels
! He drives like a lunatic!”
James laughs. He’s helped himself to a beer, and my brothers all sit down at a table. I wonder what they talked about in the car all the way up here.
I’m watching her face, her mouth, her expressions... I love that she’s here. She continues talking, hardly slowing down. “I expected something from you
.
Anything
.
How could you just let me walk away from you like that? We had this whole talk about how women want to feel like the man would
fight
for her
.
Instead you brushed me off like a little kid!” She must be done now. Her hands are on her hips and she’s staring at me, waiting for a response.
I’m still standing here like an idiot.
“And I love this place
.
” Her voice is quieter now. “The old bathrooms and the stupid shower house and the routine and the guys and you.” She takes another breath then, like her chest is heavy. Her voice is quiet now. “And you just told me to go.” Her face falls then. I hurt her. It about kills me to face it. I didn’t mean to.
I don’t know what to say. I’d thought about it a little while I was getting ready, but I figured I’d have hours on an airplane to put it all together.
“Your dad?” I sputter.
“Understands now that my plan has changed, and we’re okay.” Her eyes are on mine before she looks me up and down once.
I open my mouth a few times to talk, but nothing comes out.
“What are you all dressed up for?” she asks. Her arms are crossed in front of her. Right, she has no idea I was going to come after her.
“I was headed out.” I’m trying to hold in my smile now. She’s here. She’ll take me.
“Out? Where…”
“I was headed out because I needed to say something to you. Something that can’t be said in a note.”
“But you didn’t know where I was.” She stops then
,
uncertain. She looks down and notices the bag at my feet. “How far were you going to go?”
“If you’d be quiet for a minute…” I smile. I’m still not sure what I’m going to say. “Dana, I’m so sorry I hurt you. I want you to stay, and if you don’t want to stay then I’ll follow you wherever you want to go.”
Somebody yells, “Go
,
Jason!” I smile. This is
not
going to help.
“You’re also a pain in the ass.”
Dana laughs, and I get a holler for that one
,
too.
“Also… I…” I look down again. “Shit
,
this is hard. I’m falling for you, and I…” I rub my forehead with my hand. Everyone in the place is staring at us. It’s okay. She doesn’t let me finish. She puts her hands around my neck, pulls us together
,
and kisses me.
“I love you, Jason,” she whispers in my ear. “I’m sorry I couldn’t say it last night. It scares the hell out of me.”
“Me too.” I whisper back. I can feel every place on my body where hers is touching mine.
“Me too for which one?” She pulls her face back to look at me.
“Both.” I touch her face and put our foreheads together. I don’t care who’s watching.
“Excuse us
,
” I say a little louder. I don’t take my eyes off her. I grab her even closer and pull her back into my room, closing the door hard with my foot. The small group cheers behind the door, and I laugh, really taking in the feel of her against me and loving every second of it.
“Now what?” She pulls away from me just long enough for me to answer.
“In a couple of weeks we close this place up and head to Hawaii.”
“That’s it?” She looks in my eyes carefully. “Nothing else?”
“That’s it.” I put my hands on her face and kiss her. The girl I want, the girl I love
,
and the girl I will never let get away from me again.
DANA’S EPILOGUE
And I Guess it all Wraps up Like it Should
So, the most romantic thing in the world would be for me to be able to say that after he closed the door with his foot we made love all night
,
but unfortunately, that’s not what happened. About one minute after his foot closed the door, Boz knocked. Two more groups came in hungry, and he needed help.
I grabbed a Denali Lodge T-shirt and tied it up so Boz and I could match. There was no point in changing my pants. I served late into the night in four-inch heels and three hundred dollar trousers. Jason came out and greeted people in his friendly easy way. The only thing that changed that day was I refused to leave the kitchen with an order without a kiss—and not the kind of kiss you give your grandma. The kind of kiss you give the girl you’re in love with.
Two weeks later
,
we shut the place down for the summer. In his divorce agreement, Jason had to buy his wife’s share of the lodge.
Fortunately
,
she was looking for a house in Anchorage, and I had one to sell. Petersville Lodge was suddenly half mine. There will be no eighties
’
oak in the bathrooms come snowmachine season next year. I don’t care if guys notice or not.
Justine’s in agreement with me, and even though she’ll be spending the summer with her parents, she may end up back out here with us in the fall. I’m looking forward to it.
We’re putting at least one more year into the lodge, maybe two. Then we’ll find another adventure to do together—there are some pretty cool lodge-like places in the Bahamas that are in need of fixing up, so who knows... We haven’t decided yet, and I’m great with that. Jason is my constant, the rest we’ll just take as it comes.
“House” in Hawaii is the understatement of the year. We’re in a palace on the beach. Jason has my black bikini laid out on the bed for me, again. I can see him already heading for the water. It’s early. No one’s out. I strip down and carry my bikini in my hand as I walk toward him, letting the tiny straps drag in the sand. He might even like this even better.
JASON’S EPILOGUE
Life is good. Really, really, good.
That’s all.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I have to say honestly that this story would have stayed on my computer indefinitely if it weren’t for my husband going
, “W
hatever happened to that spoiled girl, snowmachine lodge story?
”
And me shrugging, and him saying
, “
I really like that one.
”
And then me browsing through Shutterstock for some other project and running into the picture that captured this story SO perfectly that I had to have it.
Suzi Retzlaff, you saint. You read through this book in its DISASTROUS state and helped me figure out what was wrong with it.
And Christa Desir. Seriously
,
woman. You are all the amazing things.
And thank you to Kenney Creek Lodge – my inspiration for Jason’s lodge, and a place where I have spen
t
MANY
,
MANY hours eating pizza and stuffing myself with cheesy chili fries between snowmachine rides. I love that they put a Mountain Dew down in front of me without even asking ;-)
Other Titles by Jolene Perry
Night Sky
,
Knee Deep
,
My Heart for Yours
,
Spill Over
,
10 Weeks
, Dizzy, All I Want
