Falling Apart (Barely Alive #2) (20 page)

Unsure if my energy had returned to normal, I pushed to my feet. The naked dead body seemed to glow in the dark like the stars James had on his ceiling when he was little, but more white. Guilt bloomed inside me. Brian had killed for me. One more thing I had to add to my list of remorse. I looked at the top of his downturned head. “Thank you. I know you didn’t want to help me. But I appreciate it.”

Getting out of town and up to Sandpoint would be impossible without transportation. But, shit, I did
impossible
in my sleep.

The street loomed under the lights. Guts. I needed guts to get my ass onto that road. Dominic was filling trucks with zombies to go north.

“Wait.” Brian stood beside me on the line between dark and light. “You can’t do it by yourself. Heather needs to be warned.”

“Oh, now you want to help her?” I pressed my lips together. The idiot pushed my buttons faster than anyone I’d ever met. Even knowing he was Heather’s brother or something like it, didn’t shrink my jealousies.

“I don’t understand any of this.” He crossed his arms. “I can’t go back to Dominic’s group. I have to go with you.” True statement. He’d been turned. Dominic wouldn’t take him back for anything. I doubted Dominic had wanted him in the first place.

“Would you go back, if you could?” For some reason, his answer meant a lot. I didn’t care for him, but he was something like me. Something that could relate. In my situation, that held value.

Brian gave a half-hearted shrug, sadness pulling the sides of his eyes down. I got it. Even knowing what I knew, I still considered Dominic’s offer to rejoin him. He had charisma and could offer things I couldn’t guarantee myself. Like meat.

My new partner looked left and right, never directly at me, but studied the layout of the parking lot and building we’d escaped from. “We could ask Dominic if we could go with him.”

I sidestepped away from him. “Good luck with that.” I needed to go north. But I hadn’t driven and I’d been more focused on the girl in the backseat than the way to get in to the city. If I remembered, we’d come to the YMCA on the north side of Boise. Heading away from the lights of the big city would be the smart thing to do. If only there were lights. Maybe the zombies had affected GPS. If not, I could use a phone I no longer had to access my location.

The laugh came out of me without warning, like a sob. Something I would never admit to. Heather drove in the same direction the cure was. I needed one to have the other. If I did walk to Sandpoint, I’d never make it before Dominic did.

I’d never make it before my body died.

I stopped moving away from Brian. He hadn’t budged from his perusal of the building. He’d been right about breaking the man’s neck and not biting the meat from his bones. He’d prevented the virus from spreading. And he’d fed me the meat, rather than make me kill for it.

“We need to get into one of those trucks.” Spinning slow to face him, I crossed the few feet to reach his side. “What do you think?” I had no pride when it came to my life or seeing Heather again. Not anymore. Hell, I hadn’t had pride since I’d joined Dominic in the first place.

The expression on his face of disbelief was worth the humbling. I could’ve laughed again, but it probably wouldn’t have been appropriate – or helpful.

He pointed toward the corner hiding behind the line of trees. “I think there’s a loading area around there. That’s where the last few trucks have gone.”

I’d kill to read his mind. Maybe he still thought of Heather that way.

Brian cut me off. “You can’t read mine, but I can hear you like you’re screaming at me. No, I don’t think of her like that. I never have. I only acted like I was interested back home because I could see how pissed you were.”

“Aren’t you brother and sister?” I needed the reassurance before I could relax.

“I don’t know for sure. There were always insinuations growing up, but to me she was just a friend. If you want details, you’ll need to talk to Grandma Jean.” The lack of emotion on his face should have warned me about his shock level, but I couldn’t care. I had to focus on getting where I needed to be.

His answer didn’t satisfy me, but I could be relieved, if only on the surface. I offered my hand to shake. “Should we grab a truck?”

He shrugged and ignored my hand. “Sure. Whatever you say.” And he curled the side of his mouth up in a parody of a smile. If I were him, I’d never be able to smile again.

We left the body there in the shadows and followed the line of dark down the street. At the last light on across from the building, we stopped. I grabbed his arm. “Wait. They’re freezing the boys again in the trucks. I have no idea how, but I doubt I’ll get out of it alive. Dominic might inspect them or something.”

“Ah. I wondered why they were meat trucks and ice cream trucks. I didn’t know. Should we check it out first?” He had no fear. At least it seemed like it. He hit my shoulder. “Oh, yeah, I’m scared of Dominic. That bastard is screwed up.” But he laughed.
Who
was screwed up?
Jeesh.

Looking both ways, we bolted across the street and stopped behind a large dumpster. Trucks had pulled up to the back of a small receiving area. One drove away, turning away from our position and rumbling off down the black road, the lights disappearing around a corner.

“If we could get in the cab of a truck, we’d be driving and not have to freeze.” My brain felt like it was on fire, more ideas swarmed inside then I knew what to do with. I focused on one and grabbed it like a fish under water. Like the salmon I’d eaten in Riggins, Idaho. But smaller and vastly more helpful.

Brian slunk across the parking lot behind me. If Dominic monitored the parking lot with cameras, we were screwed. We crouched by the front bumper of the truck nearest us. Nobody sat in the cab. I steadied myself on the cool metal panel.

As quiet as possible, I motioned with two fingers toward the passenger side. “You take shotgun. I’ll drive. If Dominic does discover us, run.” I edged around the front and scuttled to the driver’s door. Mumbles and moans reached me from the back of the large truck. Stomps and thumps filled the large container and spilled into the parking lot. So loud. How many zombies were they storing in the box?

Fast as I could, I yanked open the door and climbed into the cab. I clicked the door shut. Brian slid in beside me. Someone had left the engine running.

Pounding from inside pushed against the seatback which was flush to the metal. No rear-window. A green light dinged beside the steering wheel, back-dropping the A/C printed on the round button. The engine whirred as it revved at idle to provide for the cooling unit. But not in the cab. The box.

After a few minutes of nervous waiting between Brian and me, a kid I’d never seen before slapped his hand on the window and motioned me to roll it down. I grit my teeth and lowered the automatic glass. “Yep.”

He glanced at a clipboard. “You’re set to leave. Follow the next truck out. Turn on the radio and tune to channel two. Wait for Dominic’s instructions.” The kid didn’t look up at me again but motioned toward a two-way set into the ceiling. “If you get out of range, the cell phone in the glove box is charged and set to call the main cell.” He moved on to the next truck beside us – a steak and seafood truck. I hadn’t taken the time to look and see what I shuttled – besides the freezing zombies.

Brian puffed out air. I hadn’t been the only one holding it in.

The thuds slowed behind me. I avoided meeting Brian’s eyes. For some reason, the fact that we sat there idling, waiting to move north while many more boys like us were slowly frozen into sleep deeply embarrassed me. I couldn’t embrace the fact that they were enemies. They hadn’t chosen this. How could they? Full understanding was next to impossible, even for me and I had more knowledge than any other zombie alive except for Dominic.  The zombies were the enemy and they filled the box of my truck in a long caravan of similar trucks.

Jeesh, we were shuttling the zombies north. Great, I would be driving part of Dominic’s army to the battleground – most likely Sandpoint. My day couldn’t get any shittier.

A cell phone waited in the glove compartment. And a radio stood guard. One, welcome. The other a damn curse. 

I didn’t want to turn on the radio. I didn’t want to hear Dominic’s voice. I’d betrayed Heather with my actions – I’d eaten human. She’d never take me back. She wouldn’t want to see me again, if she found out. And Brian didn’t like me. He’d never hesitate to tell her. If I turned on the radio, would I be able to handle Dominic’s orders? Could I live with myself, once I’d gotten the cure, knowing I’d eaten a girl? And a man?

I’d love the chance to make up for the cannibalism, if nothing else. The cure. I had to ensure the cure. I held out my hand. “Pass me the phone.”

Rummaging in the compartment, Brian withdrew a small phone, nothing fancy. There’d be no GPS on the screen to help us get the hell out of town on our own. But a full battery would get me a call to Heather and James or Mom. I punched in the numbers to James’s phone. He needed to be warned.

She
answered on the second ring. My heart leapt – how cliché. I didn’t do cliché unless it had to do with Heather. Damn crush.

I cleared my throat, sure my voice was about to crack. Nerves strangled me. I wanted to talk to her, but shame climbed through me like a bad flu. I forced the words out. I didn’t sound like myself. “Dominic is coming. He’s headed toward Sandpoint. With zombies.”

She gasped. “Paul. You’re okay.” Her voice muffled against the phone, like she pulled it from her mouth to speak to James. “It’s Paul. He says Dominic is headed north.” She came back on. “When?”

“Now. He’s going now.” My side mirror revealed nothing behind me, but that didn’t mean Dominic wasn’t watching. The bastard had eyes everywhere.

“Okay. Did you let Grandma Jean know?” She was breathless. The news must have spurred on her adrenaline. I couldn’t dare hope she’d be excited to talk to me. I’d eaten human. She had to hear my guilt over the line.

I stared out the window. Brian could hear every word. Our super senses. Could he hear the tremor building behind my voice? I shook my head, even though Heather couldn’t see a damn thing. “No. I wanted to give you a heads up. We’re coming. I’m just not sure from which direction or how fast.”

She sat with me in silence. I closed my eyes and imagined she was right beside me, her fingers inches from my own. Her breaths puffed in my ear. I tried to hold mine, so I could hear her more clearly. I wanted to remember her smell.

After another sweet moment, she broke through the pause. “Are you okay?”

I opened my eyes. She cared. But she wouldn’t if she knew. I squared my jaw. “I’m fine. I’ve… well, Brian and I are stealing a truck and coming that way, too.”
I’m coming to help you, Heather. I’m heading that way.
“Grandma Jean said Connie and Travis found a cure.”

“Oh! That’s great, Paul. I hadn’t heard when I called to tell them we were coming home. So great. For you and James.” Were those tears in her voice? She couldn’t be upset that I might have longer than a virus assigned time frame, could she?

I stared at my fingers flexing nervously in my lap. The gray was still absent. Human flesh held it at bay longer. The digits didn’t seem like mine. I didn’t feel like me. My words were hesitant, unsure, and my lack of confidence kind of pissed me off. “And for you?” I would not look at Brian. No way. My vulnerability skyrocketed and I’d be damned to acknowledge it in front of him.
Prick.

She didn’t answer. And it felt like my insides had started the rotting process.

I hung up.

Brian reached up and switched on the two-way. He didn’t look my way either.

All sounds behind us faced. The zombies in the back had fallen asleep. I would give anything for that oblivion.

She hadn’t answered. She’d left me hanging.

Or maybe she
had
answered. My muscles shivered like I’d just had the crap kicked out of me.

A crackle carried over the airwaves. I jumped at Dominic’s voice, so intimate, so close in the cab. I shifted in my seat. His words were lined with honey – poisoned honey… “Keep following the trucks. I’ll be in the last one. Do not be startled and do NOT stop for the
people
you will see.  They are not for you. They are
not
edible.” He paused - I’m sure to add some mental duress to his orders. Then he continued. “Do not stop. Continue on.”

People on the roads? He didn’t make sense. But it didn’t stop me from shifting into gear. Thankfully, the truck was automatic. I’d drive a stick, but I’d like to be able to have a hand free in case I needed it. Again, I wanted to laugh at myself. What the hell did I need an extra hand for? I didn’t have a weapon and the last thing I wanted to grope was Brian.
Hell, no.

“Here we go.” I pressed the accelerator and the truck lurched forward. I scoffed, desperate to hide my weakness regarding Heather. “This trucks a beast.”

Brian didn’t respond to my weak attempt at humor. He watched through his side mirror, his hand gripping the oh-shit bar above his head, and his other arm braced on the seat beside him.
Hmmm. I’m not the only one nervous.

“Nope. You’re not. Can you play the radio or something?” Definitive anger filled the cab. I hadn’t thought about it before, but I was sure glad I couldn’t hear his thoughts in that moment. I didn’t want to know if he was scared or angry or if he was gloating about Heather’s rejection. I had to deal with my own shit.