Falling for Her (13 page)

“Let’s go swimming.”

Terror with sharp talons grabbed her heart. Not in a million years. “N-No, thanks.” Damn, even she heard the fear in her voice.

Jamie picked up her legs, slid under them, and sat. “You’ve had a bad experience with water?”

She nodded.

“Want to tell me about it?”

No, no, and no. The man was entirely too perceptive. How could he know she’d almost drowned just by the shakiness in her voice? She pulled her legs from Jamie’s lap and tucked them under her.

“Sugar, the blood’s drained from your face.” He pulled off her sunglass. “And your eyes have gone wild. Talk to me.”

She shook her head. Suddenly remembering she was naked from the waist up, she grabbed her cover-up from the back of the bench and clutched it over her chest.

He scooted closer and tucked her under his arm. “The only way to conquer a fear is to confront it. Did you almost drown when you were a child?”

Why couldn’t he leave it alone? She had no desire to confront that particular demon.

“Did you?”

“No.” She eyed the shoreline, wishing she had the ability to walk on water.

“All grown-up then. So you’d never learned to swim?”

If she didn’t answer, maybe he’d give up.

“I’ll take your lack of response as a no. Were you alone?”

The full force of her terror that day as she sank to the bottom of the pool—swallowing water all the way down and knowing those few precious seconds were her last on earth—slammed through her.

“No, I wasn’t alone!” she screamed, losing all hope of containing the storm roiling inside her. “I wasn’t alone,” she said, softly. Tears streamed down,
hot on her cheeks. “The man I told you about, the only one I’ve been with, he-he threw me in the end of a pool to teach me a lesson.”

“And what lesson would that be?”

Even through her tears, she could see the rage welling in Jamie’s eyes, could hear the anger in his voice. For her? She brought the edge of her cover-up to her face and wiped her cheeks.

“That he held my life in his hands.” When Rodney had pulled her out and made her throw up the water she’d swallowed, he’d said exactly that.

She could still hear his voice, close to her ear as he’d tugged her head up, his hand fisted in her waist-length hair. “I own you, Hannah. I decide whether you live or die. If you displease me again, I may not pull you out the next time. You know I can make your body disappear so no one will ever find it.” It was the calm, cold way he’d said it that made her believe him.

“Did I hear you correctly? A man who supposedly cared for you tried to drown you to teach you a lesson?”

Oh, God, why had she admitted that? “I’m here, aren’t I? Obviously, he didn’t drown me. He pulled me out of the pool in time.” Embarrassed she’d told him even that much, she wrapped her arms around her knees in an attempt to fold into herself. “No more. I think you should take me home.”

He spread his arms across the back of the bench seat like a man who had all the time in the world and was going nowhere. “No.”

No? Furious, she dropped the cover-up and came at him the way a riled, spitting cat would. So livid she couldn’t see straight, she beat on his chest. And he let her.

Finally, his arms came around her. “I’m not him, Sugar, but if it helps to pretend I am, then have at me.”

Who was this man that he’d offer to be a punching bag for all her pent-up rage? Feeling like liquefied butter, she melted into him. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what just happened. I’m sorry.”

“Shhh, sweetheart.” He caressed her bare back. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

For a few more minutes, she let him hold her and pet her. At some point, she was going to have to lift her face from where it was buried against his neck and look him in the eyes. That she was embarrassed was an understatement. For the life of her, she couldn’t comprehend how she’d so outrageously lost control.

“You said you wanted to trust me, and I want that from you. You trust that I’d never do anything to hurt you, right?”

Warily, she leaned back and searched his eyes, wondering what the catch was if she said yes. She saw no trickery in his steady gaze, just the clear, honest stare of a man who’d so far never lied to her.

“Y-Yes.”

He chuckled. “That was a half-hearted yes. Say it so I know you mean it.”

“Yes,” she said with conviction. “I know you will never hurt me.”

“Good girl.” He took her hands in his and brought one to his mouth and kissed her fingers. “I want you to come into the water with me.”

Her heart took a dive to her toes. “No, absolutely not.”

“Listen. I’ll be right with you, and I promise I’ll keep you safe. When I was a SEAL, water was our second home. I’m not asking this to scare you, but to help you face your fear so you can spit in the face of that asshole who lost the right to call himself a man.”

No, please don’t do it,
Hannah screamed in her head. Hearing that frightened voice, she made her decision. She was Sugar, and Sugar could do anything she set her mind to. It had been her mantra from the day she’d escaped her husband.

She should tell Jamie she was married, but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. He would hate her for lying. Not that she’d lied, because he hadn’t asked, but a lie of omission was still a lie. She justified keeping her secret because her time with Jamie wouldn’t last, so it didn’t really matter, did it? Willing to do anything that would enable her to spit in her husband’s face—even if metaphorically—she nodded her assent. She would jump into the damn water. It would be another victory over bad cop, and although it would mostly be for Sugar, it would be a little bit for Hannah, too.

A grin spread across his face, so big that Sugar couldn’t help grinning back. It didn’t mean she wasn’t shaking like a leaf in a windstorm.

“That’s my girl.”

His girl.
She loved when he said that, and how she wished it was true. He was a man who when he loved, he loved with all that he was. Or so she believed. Maybe not, but she liked thinking it was true. And she wanted to please him, to make him proud of her. So she would get in the water and pray she didn’t panic and drown.

As if reading her thoughts, he said, “I’ll keep you safe, I promise.” His gaze lingered on her bare breast for a moment before he leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss on her mouth, and it was so sweet that she just wanted to crawl into him and live there.

He dropped his hands and stood. “I’m going in first so I’ll be there for you.”

The panic returned. “I can’t jump in, I just can’t.”

“You don’t have to. I’m going to hook a ladder on the stern, and you’ll come down it.”

Oh, God, what had she been thinking to agree to this? She watched with misgiving as he opened a bin and pulled out a ladder and life vest, the sight of which eased her anxiety a little. But only a little.

“Do I get to wear that?”

“You get to hold on to it.” He gave her a wicked grin. “But I’d rather you hold on to me.”

She’d rather hold on to him
and
the vest. After hooking the ladder on the back of the boat, he set the vest near it, then dived into the water. Startled, she jumped up and peered over the side where he’d disappeared. The gulf was emerald green and crystal clear, and she watched as he swam to the bottom as if he’d been born a fish. He grabbed something, then shot to the top like a torpedo. His body popped halfway out of the water before sinking back down to his neck.

Wow. Maybe he really was part fish. He swam to the side of the boat and held up his hand, showing her a bright orange starfish.

“Oh, that’s so cool.” She touched it with a finger and when it moved, she snatched her hand away. “It’s really bumpy. You’re going to let it go, right?”

“Hold out your hand.”

When she did, he put it in her palm.

“Just stay like that and it’ll crawl off and back into the water.”

It tickled when it moved, and sure enough, it fell off and plopped back into the gulf, and she watched it return to the bottom. She glanced at Jamie to see him looking at her, a smile on his face. Her heart did a funny dance, and she knew she was in trouble. The day he tired of her, or if the day came she had to run, it was going to hurt worse than anything Rodney had ever done to her.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

T
ime for you to join me.” Jamie moved to the back of the boat and grabbed hold of the ladder. “Come, Sugar.”

She stared down at him and then eyed the water surrounding them before shaking her head. “I don’t want to.”

It was obvious she was scared, and she had every right to be considering what had been done to her. He’d wanted to demand the man’s name because whoever he was, he deserved a beating.

“Come, sweetheart,” he said, holding out his hand. If she panicked once he talked her into getting in the water, he’d get her back on the boat. If they were going to spend some time together, he wanted her to love boating and the water as much as he did.

He also believed she needed to confront her fear. What if she fell in a pool someday, or off his boat if he took her out again? She needed to know how to swim, at least enough to float on her back until she was rescued.

“You said you trusted me, right?”

She crossed her arms over her breasts, and her gaze darted from him to the water, then back to him. “I changed my mind.”

“You changed your mind about trusting me or that you’ll come in with me?” The bastard had done a real number on her. If he’d been willing to almost drown her to exert his control over her, what else had he done to her?

“Both,” she said.

“Put your hand in mine, sweetheart,” Jamie said, still holding up his arm.

Her feet slid forward a few inches, then stopped. “You promise you won’t make me put my head under the water?”

“You have my word. You’re safe with me, Sugar.” A visible shudder traveled through her, and he almost gave in. Just as he opened his mouth to tell her she didn’t have to, she reached out and placed her hand in his. Because she was doing this for him, a tenderness he’d never felt for any woman before slipped its way into his heart.

“Turn around and climb down backwards,” he said when she eyed the ladder with misgivings. “I’ll be right behind you.” It took a few minutes as she descended at the pace of a sloth. Once in, with the water at shoulder level, she held on to the ladder with an iron grip and white knuckles. Her eyes had gone so wild, he didn’t think she even saw him.

He grabbed the life vest and floated it in front of her. “Sugar, look at me.” Whether it was the command in his voice or just plain desperation, her gaze locked on his, her eyes beseeching him to save her. “Easy, sweetheart. I’m right here.”

Hoping to make her feel more secure, he grabbed the ladder, caging her next to his body and lifting his leg to her bottom to form a seat. He’d thought to have the vest for her to hang on to, but her fear was just too great.

“I’m going to put this on you,” he said, “but you’re going to have to let go so I can slip it up your arms.” The leg he’d put under her seemed to help. She let go of the ladder and wrapped her arms around his neck in a death grip.

“I’m not usually such a coward.”

No, she wasn’t. She was a brave, brave girl who trusted him not to let her drown. “Actually, you’re amazing.” Although he had to peel her fingers out of the ends of his hair, he managed to get the vest on her. Once it was snapped up, he decided the next best thing to do would be to kiss her.

She responded immediately; whether from the pleasure of having his mouth on hers or because it took her mind away from fearing she was going to drown, he didn’t know. Didn’t care. All he knew was kissing her was even better than double-chocolate chip cookies, and those, he loved. As her back was now to the boat and she hopefully wouldn’t notice, he floated them both away.

Her legs were wrapped around his waist so tightly he’d probably need a crowbar to pry her away, but he had no desire to. For a few minutes he allowed them to drift, letting her get used to being in the water. Too bad there was a life vest between his chest and her breasts. If he could get his mouth on them, they would taste seawater salty. Soon, he vowed.

When he felt some of the tension drain from her body, he dog-paddled back toward the boat, keeping one arm around her waist. Now to see if he could get the rest of her suit off.

“Hold on to the ladder for a minute.”

She didn’t let go of him. “Why?”

“I need to do something. I’m not going away,” he added, before she could protest. As soon as he had his hands free, he slipped off his shorts and tossed them into the boat.

“What’re you doing?”

“Just this.” He quickly tugged on the ties of her bikini bottom and pitched it over the side.

“Jamie!”

“Mmm?” While her attention was on her newly nude state, he took her hands and pulled her with him, away from the boat. “Having fun yet?”

She snorted. “Seriously? I’m in the middle of the ocean, and the only thing I’m wearing is a life vest, and you want to know if I’m having fun?”

“Then my work here isn’t done.” Whether she realized it or not, she was more at ease and was even treading water. No longer plastered around him like she’d been glued to him, she only had the fingers of one hand curled around his wrist as he dog-paddled them in place.

“When can we get back in the boat?”

“Soon.” He pulled her to him, sorry for the vest she wore. “But first this.” Careful to keep his erection—the one he’d had from the moment he’d removed her bikini bottom—from touching her, he angled his head and covered her mouth with his. She put her hands on his shoulders and parted her lips. It was all the invitation he needed.

Water lapped gently around them as he explored her mouth, her taste one he could come to crave. He slid his hand over the back of the vest to her bottom and cupped a taut, rounded cheek in his palm. It was cool to the touch from the sea, and little goosebumps rose on her skin as he caressed her.

Unfortunately, in his lust-induced haze, he forgot his intention to keep the lower parts of their bodies separated and pulled her against him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, putting her right where he wanted her. The head of his erection nudged itself past her folds, seeking entrance.

Her body went instantly stiff, and she tried to push away. “Jamie!”

“Sorry.” He put his hands on her waist and moved back. “That wasn’t intentional, Sugar.” Distrustful eyes stared back at him in accusation. Irritated she didn’t believe him, he slipped his fingers through the vest’s snaps and towed her back to the boat.

Was she worth the trouble?

Probably not, but he couldn’t deny he wanted her. If he could figure out why that was, maybe he could find a cure. The girl had issues, that was certain. Yet, the way she responded when he kissed her and touched her told him there was a sensuous woman inside her screaming to get out of whatever prison she’d been locked into. The temptation was there to find the key that would unlock the cell door.

“Jamie, I’m sorry.”

He slipped an arm around the ladder and turned. If he’d accomplished nothing else, at least he’d helped her face her fear of the water. She probably didn’t even realize she’d let go of him and was using her hands to keep her in place. Or that the water was so clear he could see her pubic hair and long, sleek legs. The red polish on her toes flashed in and out of sight as her feet busily dog-paddled.

How long would it take him to get her to come in without the life vest or her bathing suit so those magnificent breasts of hers would float tantalizingly near the top of the water? That he was asking the question told him he’d answered another one. He would do his best to prove to her some unnamed bastard had it all wrong, would prove to her that sex with the right person was a thing of beauty.

She grabbed the opposite side of the ladder. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I panicked,” she answered, her gaze on the horizon as if she were too embarrassed to look at him.

Jamie put a finger under her chin and turned her face back to him. The tears filling her eyes tore at his heart. “There’s no denying I want you. I want to slide inside you and lose myself in you. I want to make love to you so badly I’d give up my boat for it.” He slid a glance at his beloved Sea Ray, wondering if he’d really just said that. “Okay, maybe not quite that bad, but close. So damn close, Sugar.”

She gave him an adorable scowl. “Why are ya all of a sudden cursing? Not that I don’t, but it’s just weird when you do.”

Good question. He put his hand on the boat and pushed away from her. To answer her question, he’d have to tell her why he’d hit the delete button on cussing in the first place, and why she had him saying words he hadn’t said for ten years. To avoid going there, he decided to turn the tables on her.

He forced a chuckle. “I just told you how much I want you and your response is to ask why I’m cursing?”

Sugar didn’t know what to say. When she’d first met him and started this game, she’d flirted with him the way she thought a woman who was attracted to him would. For a while, it had been a safe flirtation because he’d made it clear he didn’t like her. Knowing he wouldn’t put any moves on her, her behavior had grown more outrageous in her attempts to get a reaction out of him. It looked like she had.

She understood she was at a crossroads with Jamie. There was probably not another man on earth who would tolerate her fears the way he had and continued to do. But for how much longer? When she’d felt him poking her down there, she’d transported back to Rodney and the cruelty she’d suffered at his hands.

Logically, she knew she wasn’t being fair to the man waiting for her response; she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. Not like that, anyway. How could she explain the punishments she’d been subjected to so he’d understand, without spilling her pathetic story? She didn’t want his pity, nor did she want him to feel like he needed to avenge her. Already, he’d asked several times for Rodney’s name. Why? So he could track her husband down and teach him some kind of lesson?

Although she’d tried without success to put out of her mind the man knocking on the condos’ doors and asking questions, the idea that Rodney had found her scared the bejesus out of her. No way did she want to involve Jamie in her problems. But if she had a week or two before she had to haul ass, maybe he could get her past turning into an icicle at the touch of a man.

And if her heart decided to stay behind with him . . . well, it was a risk worth taking. So what if she couldn’t wear mascara for the next six months because she couldn’t stop crying? All she had to do was gather up the courage Sugar pretended to have and . . . she swallowed hard. She could sleep with him without losing her lunch. She could!

First she had to climb the ladder, her rear end in all its naked glory available for his viewing pleasure. No way would she let him go first and stay in the water by herself. Although if he did go first, she’d be the one ogling him.

Tempting, but she wasn’t ready to do a solo swim yet. Admittedly, as long as he was with her and she had the vest on, he’d helped her face her fear as he called it. When he’d kissed her, she’d even forgotten she was in the water. If she liked kissing him that much, would sleeping with him really be as bad as it had been with Rodney? There was only one way to know and that was to just do it, to face another fear. On the positive side, it wouldn’t kill her like drowning in the ocean would.

“You could probably fill a book with all the thinking you’ve just done. I’d give anything to know what’s going through your head.”

She lifted her gaze to his. Blue eyes stared patiently back at her, and that was another thing she wasn’t used to: a man’s patience. “I was only thinking if I don’t get out of this water, I’m going to look like a prune.”

“Oh, there was more than that going on in your head, but after you,” he said, sweeping an arm up.

“Close your eyes.”

One side of his mouth curved up in a wickedly sexy grin. “So not happening, sweetheart.”

“Pervert,” she grumbled, reaching for the ladder.

A low chuckle rumbled out of him. “No, just a man who appreciates the sight of a beautiful woman and her sexy bottom.”

If he wanted to put it that way, who was she to argue? When she lifted her ass out of the water, he growled and put a hand on her butt to help push her up. She had to admit it was a heady feeling to have a man like him make throaty sounds because he wanted her. At the moment, with him, she’d give anything if she were a normal, sex-is-a-good-and-wonderful-thing kind of woman.

Hope you rot in hell someday, Rodney.

She scurried over to the bench seat and sat, pressing her legs together and placing her hands over her lap. How had Jamie managed to talk her into the gulf, strip her of all but a life vest, and have her almost enjoy the experience before it was over?

A water god rose from the depths and stood over her, glistening seawater dripping down a body that took her breath away. Mamma mia, someone should coat his lovely self in plaster and stick him in an art gallery. Women the world over would beat down the doors to get a glimpse of such a magnificent specimen.

Her gaze slid to the one part of him she wasn’t so keen on. It didn’t look too threatening, shriveled up in a nest of golden curls. It must have realized she was eyeing it because it moved, grew a little. She wished it wouldn’t do that.