Falling for Him (9 page)

“Well? Open it! I must know who they’re from.” Her mother’s beaming smile made her nervous to open the tiny white envelope, especially when Olivia had an inkling of who had sent them. Was it Liam’s way of apologizing for his horrible mistake in asking her out? If it were, it would open the door for questions from her mother, ones she wasn’t interested in answering.

Without any other choice, she opened the envelope and seized the notecard inside.

You’re too special to be anyone’s rebound. The offer for dinner still stands. I’m breathlessly awaiting your decision. –L

Olivia gritted her teeth to hold back the smile that threatened to form across her lips. She shouldn’t want to see him, but she did.

“Well? Who is it?”

“Liam.”

“Liam? Why is he sending you flowers?” Her mother’s eyebrow rose as she asked.

“He’s just trying to talk me into the surgery.” The lie came out without conscious thought.

“Then why are you smiling so broadly?”

She attempted to relax her face and turned from her mother, sitting down to complete typing. “I didn’t realize I was.”

“Does this mean you’re going to do it?”

“I haven’t made up my mind, but I promise you’ll be the first person to know once I do.”

Her mother’s jaw tightened. “Fine. But don’t forget about the letter that arrived, either.”

In the excitement of the flowers, she’d forgotten. She twisted her chair to take the envelope and got goose bumps when she did. It was from one of the large New York agencies to whom she’d sent her manuscript. Her fingers shook as she rubbed her palm over the front of it, scared to open it.

“Just like a Band-Aid. Rip it open fast.” Her mother smiled as she settled on the edge of her bed to watch.

Olivia turned it over and sliced through the top, before yanking the letter out. She took a deep breath before reading the first few lines. She took another deep breath and read the first few lines again to ensure she’d read them correctly.

“Thank you for your recent submission. While your writing is strong and impressive, unfortunately, we are currently not taking any more clients in your genre. We wish you great success in placing your manuscript with another agency,” Olivia read aloud.

“Oh, sweetheart, at least there was some encouragement in there. They said your writing was strong and impressive.”

“Encouragement? I keep getting told my writing is great. My friends in the writing circle can’t understand why I don’t already have a book deal. They can stick their encouragement—”

“Olivia Anne! Where is that fire and passion I saw a few days ago? I saw how devoted you were in that moment and I knew you refused to give up. Now, I’m not seeing the same young woman who stood up to me.”

“I’m not giving up. It’s just hard hearing no after no.” She dropped the letter to her lap and just stared at it, wanting it to erupt in flames or disappear into another dimension.

“Someone once told me that there were a lot of famous authors who were rejected over and over again before they got their first yes. Soon enough, you’ll be able to count yourself in that number.”

Her mother’s words touched her, especially after the last few days of arguing. “Thank you, Mom.”

“You know, I never want you to give up on your dreams. Me wanting you to have a backup plan doesn’t equate to me assuming you’re going to fail. It just means I know it could take time for you to finally get to the finish line, and I want you to be secure until you get there.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so ugly the last couple of days. My anger always comes out when I’m afraid.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“If I have this surgery and it all goes as expected, what if I don’t live up to your dreams for me? What if this is all my life will be? Writing and clicking away on my computer is who I am. Why can’t I be good enough for you?”

Her mother rose and crossed to her, gathering Olivia’s face in her hands. “You
are
good enough. You’ve
always
been good enough. You are more than any mother could hope to have. You were my special surprise baby when I’d resigned myself to having no more after years of trying and failing. You’ve brightened my life from the moment I found out I was pregnant. All I want is for doors to be opened for you that aren’t now. Whether you choose to go through them or not is
your
choice. I want you to have the option to do everything you could ever want to do.”

Olivia blinked back tears. “And if what I have is all I want? If I don’t want to scale the heights of Kilimanjaro or trek through the Amazon River basin? Or if I don’t want to get married and have babies?”

“How about a walk on Carter Mountain where we can pick some apples or a trek through Monticello in the fall?” Her mother released Olivia’s face and chuckled. “While I can’t say I wouldn’t love to watch you walk down the aisle and have you bring me little babies to spoil, I know it’s your life to live, and I will respect your decisions.”

“So you don’t have crazy expectations for me after this surgery?”

“My expectations would be for you to walk comfortably and be in less pain. That is all I could ever hope for. It’s all I’ve ever wished for you.”

“You’ve pushed me all my life to do more, and I’ve always chosen a different path. I’ve always felt like I’m a disappointment to you.”

“What mother doesn’t want the best for their children? I only pushed you so you’d never settle. You’ve
never
disappointed me, Olivia, never. You were a surprise I couldn’t have wanted more and each day with you in our lives is a blessing.”

Olivia allowed the words to settle in as she fought back the tide of emotion that had been hanging over her for days. It was if a weight was lifted off her shoulders. The thought of walking with ease and her hips and back no longer aching had been in the back of her mind throughout, and she wanted that with a desperation she couldn’t voice.

“What if the surgery isn’t a success? To be confined in a wheelchair would be another level of hell. This,” she looked down at her legs, “this I can live with. I don’t know how I would deal with not being able to walk, especially if it came from a choice I made.”

“I worry about that as well, but I trust Liam. I think he would do everything in his power to make sure you came out of that surgery intact. But even if you didn’t, you would find a way to survive. You always have. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

“Why such faith in Liam?”

“When he was thirteen, he told me one day he would find a way to fix your back and nearly twenty years later, he’s found it.”

“You knew he blamed himself?”

“Oh, I’ve told that young man over and over until I was blue in the face that it wasn’t his fault. He wouldn’t listen. After a while, I stopped trying. If his drive led him to greater things, where he can help so many people, then it wasn’t all for naught.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“It was his cross to bear.”

Her mother rose, kissing her on the forehead before she left the room. Olivia had much to think about. She’d always felt like a disappointment to her mother. Knowing she wasn’t made it easier to breathe.

She walked to the window overlooking the backyard. Her gaze drifted to the ugly, gnarled trunk once more. Late-fall winds rushed about, making the leaves twist and swirl about. The sky overhead was darkening, the gray clouds heavy with pregnant purpose. As the first fat drops of rain splattered against the glass, Olivia knew what she had to do.

Chapter 8

Liam walked into exam room six, his gaze running across the file in hand. “Good afternoon.”

As soon as he looked up, he saw Jenny sitting on the table. “What’re you doing here?”

“You haven’t been answering your phone or my e-mails. You’re always at the office, so I knew this was the only way to get your attention.”

“What’s left to say, Jenny?”

She frowned. “Is it so easy for you to walk away from me? I know I was being jealous and spiteful, but only because I felt you pulling away from me. I love you, Liam, and I can’t just let this end without a fight.”

He watched her for a moment, his mind a jumble. He dropped to the rolling stool and dropped the file on the counter. “I can appreciate that, but for me, it’s over.”

“You really had no feelings for me, did you?”

“I simply wanted someone to spend some of my free time with. I thought you understood that from the very beginning. You want more from me than I’m willing to give. I care about your well-being and I always have. But if you want a forever kind of guy, then the best thing I can do for you is let you go find him.”

“My well-being?” Jenny rolled her eyes. “Here I thought we were headed for the altar and you never even loved me. What a fool I was.”

“I never implied I was ready for marriage.”

“No, I suppose you didn’t. But did you really expect me to stay in some kind of limbo with you indefinitely without me thinking of the future?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. You knew from the beginning my career comes first.”

“And I still want to help be a part of that. I can help you become more. You’ve finished your residency and the next step is starting your own practice. Networking is essential for your success. You’ll need a woman on your arm who can help you navigate Charlottesville society. I
am
that woman. You just don’t see how perfect we are for one another.”

Liam froze. He’d never discussed opening his own practice. Was she so completely delusional that her misconceptions had supplanted the truth? “I just want to be the best surgeon I can be and for that, all I need is work, which I have plenty of right here. I don’t want to climb the social ladder.”

“The network at the country club is where you get funding to open a larger practice so you can make your mark. The more impressive your practice, the more patients you’ll attract and the more money you’ll make in your profession. If you want the big house and fancy cars, you need to navigate the waters.”

“Jenny, I don’t want all that. I just want to heal people. It’s really as simple as that. I didn’t become a surgeon to amass a fortune.”

“What person goes to school for all those years if not to make as much money as possible? I can help make you more. Isn’t that the purpose of marriage? Two people together becoming more than they could alone?”

He was taken aback from her assumptions of him. “We really are on two different paths, you and I.” He stood, prepared to leave. “It’s time you left, Jenny. I wish you all the best, but there’s nothing left for me.”

“You’ll see the way. It’s not over. Soon enough, you’ll realize what you’re missing not having me in your life and come back. Once you perform Olivia’s surgery and she’s walking just fine, the guilt you have will release you from whatever hold it has on you.”

What?
“It’s time for you to go.”

“Fine. You’ve got to get her out of your system. And once you do, you better hope I haven’t moved on with my life.”

He could only hope she would move on. Liam watched Jenny stride from the room, shocked at how truly misguided she was. How had he missed it? He followed her out into the hall and she pivoted, clasping her arms around his neck, drawing him into her embrace.

“I still love you, Liam. I know you’ll find your way back.”

Jenny dropped a kiss to his cheek and turned to leave. He watched her go and his gaze moved to see a face as surprised as his.

* * * *

Olivia followed the nurse out of the lobby and into the office to get her vitals taken. She’d been thankful that there had been a cancellation in Liam’s schedule and she’d been able to get an appointment within a few days of making her decision to go ahead with the surgery. Her mother had urged her to call him and let him know the good news, but she’d struggled to find her voice. It had seemed easier to make an appointment and get the ball rolling in a more composed way, distancing herself from the feelings she had for the man.

His invitation to dinner still hung in the air, and she wanted to say yes with every fiber of her being, but she felt it was more important for them to remain on a professional level until the surgery was complete. There were already too many emotions tied into it and he needed to be on his A game when he cut her open and peered inside to fix her ruptured spine. What if their date didn’t go well? Would he feel less inclined to help her? She couldn’t imagine he would, but she didn’t want to chance it.

The staff was busy around them, all working from a centralized, round desk space. Nurses were on the phone or computer, or leading patients into the vast set of rooms lining the walls. Her gaze scanned the space, soaking it all in.

Her feet froze as she saw Jenny walking out of an office with Liam. As Olivia watched Jenny wrap her arms around Liam’s neck, she felt her teeth set. Jenny kissed Liam on the cheek and then began to walk away from him, a swish to her hips as she moved.

Jenny approached Olivia on her way out, a false smile plastered across her pretty cheeks. “Hi, Olivia, it’s funny how when I see Liam as of late, you’re always there.”

“I’m just here for an appointment.”

“How’s the back treating you?”

“Fine,” Olivia forced out and pressed a smile to her lips. There was no way she was going to let Jenny think she was bothering her. A little jealousy wormed her way through nonetheless, but Olivia fought it.

“Liam really is great with his hands. Have you finally decided to have the surgery? It really is time to wrap all this up and get on with both your lives. Maybe then, I can have my boyfriend back.”

Olivia felt her face flush with heat as Jenny’s intense stare took in everything. Olivia’s first instinct was to slink away and hide, and the fight-or-flight mechanism inside her had always preferred the latter.

Running was easy.

Hiding was easy.

Olivia suddenly didn’t want to run any longer. She was turning over a new leaf and handling things better, even if her instinct was to reach out and bop Jenny in the head. Jenny had no business nosing into her life and her decision, true, but she was hurting. Liam had ended things and Jenny had to feel the pain of that, didn’t she? Of course Olivia would be the target.