Falling For His Proper Mistress (13 page)

The thirty seconds it had taken to get confirmation that Avery was alive were amongst the longest of his life. The piercing pain had been a thousand times worse than the two hours he'd spent waiting for her at Baratin the night of her birthday. Because now he knew what it felt like to lose her…

He'd spent forty-nine days without her.

After the past three weeks he was starting to feel like he never wanted to let her go.

Avery tilted her head back. “I'm a lot tougher than I look.”

“My mother thought she was, too.” The words came from nowhere. He hadn't even thought about Mom for days. He usually tried not to talk about her at all. The topic always led to grim silences. But suddenly he couldn't prevent himself saying, “She promised me and Blake that she would beat the cancer.”

Turning over, Avery looked up at him, her eyes luminous. “I'm sure she wanted to more than anything in the world. A woman with five young children would not want to leave them.”

“I was foolish enough to believe her, in the way a six-year-old does. I thought she'd get better.” How could he explain the devastation that he'd felt returning from a night at a friend's home to discover that his mother had been taken into the hospital, that she'd passed away? “She refused to have chemotherapy, you know. She chose to die, to leave us
all. How can a six-year-old ever be expected to understand that?”

Avery slid up and pressed a kiss against his lips. “You poor little boy.”

Hell. He didn't feel very much like a little boy right now. Not with her lying breast to hip along his body, her legs tangling with his. He gave a groan. “Avery, I got in here to hold you, to comfort you, not to make love. But you're making it very hard.”

A wicked sparkle lit her eyes and she moved her body against his. “Am I?”

The little witch.

Guy groaned again. “Have mercy…and don't move.”

“Why not?”

He swallowed. “You might jolt your ankle.”

“My ankle is already feeling a lot better.”

But she shifted and slid onto the seat beside him. Guy wished she'd stayed where she was. Yet if she had, the temptation would've been too great to resist. Instead he placed an arm around her shoulders, marveling at the tenderness that welled up inside him, the contentment that merely holding her brought. It wasn't something he'd experienced before.

Placing his index finger under her chin he raised it, and sealed her mouth with his kiss. Guy let himself sink into her…into the soft femininity that was Avery. Sweet. Feminine. Unique.

His.

When the kiss was over, he stared down into her blue eyes, stunned by how she'd inveigled her way into every crevice of his life in such a short space of time.

She blinked, and the spell was broken.

“There's something I have to tell you.” She sounded subdued.

Guy wanted to shout “No.” He didn't want to hear anything
that might break this accord that lay like a golden thread between them, joining them in a way that was somehow special.

Yet he found himself saying, “What is it?” while he hoped furiously that there were no further revelations about Jeff, or anyone else in her life, to follow.

The deep breath that she took warned him that he wasn't going to like it. But what she did murmur knocked the guts out of him.

“What did you say?”

She shifted in his arms, and Guy realized he was gripping her uncomfortably. He instantly slackened his hold.

“I'm pregnant,” she repeated more loudly, edging away from him.

“How?” His head spinning, he asked, “Forget that. Have you known all this time?”

She blinked. “What do you mean ‘all this time'?”

“Since being at Jarrod Ridge.”

“Are you asking if this is the reason I came to Jarrod Ridge?”

He hadn't quite thought that far ahead. Now he considered it. Was this why she'd come? Guy shifted in the hot water. Had it been nothing to do with her Uncle Art at all?

Maybe it was what his subconscious mind was asking.

“Yes.” His tone was terser than he intended as he tried to process the information that Avery was going to have his baby.

She slowly shook her head, and he could've sworn that the divide between them grew—even though she didn't move. “I only discovered today at the hospital.”

“You've had symptoms?” And she hadn't bothered to reveal anything to him by word or action? He felt unaccountably put out.

“Nothing obvious. In fact, you started me worrying when
you asked whether there'd been any repercussions after our time in New York. I hadn't even thought about it. I bought a test from the drugstore—”

“So you had a suspicion that you were pregnant.” Guy found himself glaring through the water to the pale skin of her stomach just visible through the swirling water. He couldn't see any sign that made her look remotely pregnant. “Thanks for letting me in on the secret.”

“Hey, hear me out.” She turned her head so that he looked square into her face. Her skin was dewy from the steam, and her eyes had darkened. She'd never looked more beautiful. “The test was negative—I took it twice. I wasn't pregnant then—”

“But you're pregnant now? How does that work?” Guy's brows shot up. “That
is
what you're trying to tell me?”

“Yes!” She was breathing quickly, her breasts rising and falling. “That's exactly what I'm saying. And before you even think of accusing me of trying to fob off someone else's baby on you—”

“That never occurred to me,” Guy said heatedly, forgetting all about her breasts at the accusation. “Whatever gave you the idea I'd think that?”

“Your reaction to seeing me with Matt?”

Well, she had him there. He couldn't precisely argue without revealing his gut-grinding jealousy before he'd discovered Matt was her cousin.

“Your idiocy over Todd.” She raised an eyebrow. “Warning me away from Louis? Need I go on?”

Guy started to feel very foolish. “Are you sure you're pregnant? It could be a mistake.”

“Stop clutching at straws, Guy. I'm probably pregnant.”

“Probably pregnant?”

But she didn't laugh as he'd intended at his emphasis on the absurd way she'd put it.

“I
am
pregnant, Guy. I know it's the last thing you want in your life. So I have no expectations of you. You are free. But you need to know I'm going to keep this baby.”

He stared at her. What did she expect him to say to that?

Of course he didn't want a child—he didn't even want a wife, or a partner, or a significant other. He was quite happy the way his life was.

But he wasn't ready to lose Avery from his life either. For days he'd been dreading the idea of her leaving. He was no longer free—nor did he wish to be.

It struck him that the baby would give him a great reason to keep her in his life, without having to define to himself—or to her—exactly what their relationship was.

“Avery—” under the water he placed a hand on her thigh “—this gives even more reason why you should move in with me. You're pregnant with my child. That's hardly the kind of thing you can hide for very long. It's bound to come out.”

Her thigh tensed. “You mean we should set up home together?”

Home? He wriggled like a trout hooked by a particularly attractive lure. “I was thinking we should live together and see how things work out.”

She put her hands over her face. “Guy, a baby is about as lasting an arrangement as anything can be. It brings responsibilities like motherhood…and fatherhood. You don't have to assume that responsibility if you don't want to. I absolve you.”

She was deliberately misunderstanding him.

Guy gave a sigh to vent his frustration and increased the pressure of his hand to make sure she didn't try to bolt. “Dammit—” he hesitated “—it's hard to take in. I never wanted a family.”

“That's why I told you I'm not expecting anything of you.”
Her hand closed over his. “Please understand I'm not trying to trap you.”

“I know that.” His certainty surprised him. His outburst had been boorish—the situation they were in was as much his fault as hers. He'd acted recklessly that night in the hot tub, and they'd both reaped the consequences. “And it's no longer about what either of us want. I'm sure this is every bit as much a trap for you as for me. The last thing you must want is a baby—particularly as your work is going so well.”

After the Food and Wine Gala was over Guy had no doubt she'd have more work offers than she could handle.

“Not at all. I've always wanted a family…and kids.” That dreamy look was back on her face.

Guy's heart stood still.

Sliding his hand out from under hers, he wondered if this had been a trap he hadn't even suspected? Giving her a narrow stare, he said, “Did you deliberately not use protection?”

“No! I stopped taking the Pill when I went back to California. I'd sworn off men.” She gave him a wry smile. “And contrary to popular belief, I didn't come to Jarrod Ridge expecting to have an affair.” Ouch.

Was this a trap? If it was, hadn't he deserved to be caught? He hadn't taken precautions that night in the spa, even though he'd taken great care every time since. But once was all it took…

Avery stood up in the water and said, “I'll be going back to California in four days. There's no point in my moving in with you and telling the world that your mistress is pregnant with your baby.”

Before he could temper his reaction, Guy burst out, “That's insulting to us both. You wouldn't be my mistress.”

“Scared you couldn't afford me?”

Beads of water streamed over her curves…curves that
Guy knew intimately. But Avery was so much more than a sexy body.

He tore his gaze away. “Don't demean yourself! You're far too proper, with too much sense of your self-worth, to ever have accepted such an inequitable relationship—and I have too much respect for you to suggest it.” Avery was far too independent to be any man's mistress. Although Guy was sure there were men who would've loved to have decorated her with diamonds and paid for her upkeep. She was smart, sexy and spirited. What more could any man want?

She looked stunned by his heated defense of her. What could he say? It had startled him, too. He justified it by adding, “My dad would've torn a strip off any of his boys for making a decent woman such an offer. He always said that honor was part of the Jarrod name.”

Avery took two towels off a shelf, arranged one at the edge of the pool and sat down.

“A bit of a double standard, hmm? He must've kept a mistress, otherwise there would be no Erica.”

“He didn't keep a mistress—not while my mother was alive.” Guy glared at her for even suggesting that. Then he conceded, “But he did seduce another man's wife. Not much honor in that, I have to agree.” Which was only one of the reasons he'd so resented Erica's existence. It went to prove that his father's high standards were nothing more than hypocrisy.

“Maybe he was lonely,” suggested Avery.

“Lonely?” He shook his head. “That's stupid. He had a family—maybe we were farflung, but we were his children. He had Jarrod Ridge…the business empire he always wanted.” Had it not been enough? Was Avery right? Had his father been lonely? Guilt pierced him. He shoved it aside, and focused on the woman who had turned his world upside down.

Leaning forward, Avery started to pat herself dry with the
second towel. “I think it would be far better for me to stay with Melissa as you've arranged, and for no one to be any the wiser about my baby.”

Her baby? What about his rights? The surge of primal possessiveness took him aback. If Avery was planning to deny him access to his own child she was in for a surprise.

But it wasn't worth fighting now. They both needed time to absorb that they were going to be parents.

Finally he sighed and pushed his damp hair out of his eyes. “If you'd rather stay with Melissa, I'll take you to Willow Lodge.”

W
illow Lodge oozed mellow serenity.

It was set away from the main resort complex, in a spot sheltered from the winds. Inside, the walls and floors were crafted from wood the color of honey and dramatic picture windows looked out over the willows for which the lodge was named. The fragrance of lavender and beeswax lingered in the air, and Avery found herself instantly unwinding.

And Melissa did everything to make her feel comfortable.

“Treat Willow Lodge like your home,” Guy's sister said.

Avery took Melissa at her word. After sleeping under a down comforter and having a leisurely breakfast, Avery propped her leg up on a footrest in front of a window overlooking the willows and showing glimpses of the river beyond.

A constant trickle of visitors kept her entertained. Guy
was the first to arrive. Shortly after Melissa departed for Tranquility Spa, he came through the back door.

“How's the ankle?”

“Much better.” Avery turned her head. Guy wore dark trousers and a black-on-white striped long-sleeved shirt with elegant European panache. The years he'd spent in France showed. She forced herself to stop gawking at the man like a lovelorn teenager.

He came closer and his breath was warm on the top of her leg as he leaned down. “No sign of swelling.”

“Only a little bruising.” With her fingertips Avery found the tender spot.

“It will go all the colors of the rainbow before it fades.”

Avery groaned. “I hope not.” He was so close that she could detect the subtle green notes of moss and musk in his aftershave. “I'm keeping it iced. It's helping—even though it's freezing.”

“Good.”

Avery wrinkled her nose at him. “You wouldn't be saying that if you were the one wearing an ice pack.”

He hunkered down beside her, and put his hand on her ankle. “Probably not.”

A delicious warmth cruised through her at his touch. Avery had thought her ankle too numbed by cold to respond to stimulus. Not so.

When he started to move his fingers in little circular strokes her breath hooked in the back of her throat. His hand stroked up her calf, across the back of her knees, and tantalizing shivers followed. The taunting fingers stopped just below the hemline of her fitted dress, and she knew if she tried to protest her voice would be nothing more than a thin thread of sound. Then Guy would know precisely how much he was rattling her composure.

She glanced away, only to be transfixed by the sight of his long, square-tipped fingers caressing her flesh.

She inhaled a deep, steadying breath, and his heady male scent filled her senses.

How could one man have such an impact on her?

Only him.

Ever.

She feared it would only be Guy for her, all her life. And now she was pregnant with the baby he didn't want. It was over. He'd made it crystal clear he didn't want a wife…children…a family.

On Monday she was returning to El Dorado, to her family. Undoubtedly Guy would be amiable, offer support; Christian would be asked to negotiate the terms of any agreement, which she would insist on being kept confidential. Perhaps Guy would even offer to do his duty and see the child on the odd occasion. But Avery fostered no illusions that Guy would want to be actively involved with his child…or with her. She'd likely have more contact with Christian than with Guy.

At least she would have his baby….

She glanced up into his eyes. And stilled. There was an emotion she'd never seen exposed. A mix of tenderness and desire. Or something else?

Slowly he removed his hand from her leg. “I better get going. Otherwise I might not get to work today—and with the charity auction fundraiser tomorrow night, there's a lot to do.”

Avery's heart skipped a beat.

For what seemed like a lifetime their eyes held. Then he leaned forward and kissed her. It wasn't like any of the kisses they'd shared before. It was gentle, tender, with the promise of passion in the way his lips moved on hers. And it left her yearning for more.

Then he pulled away and rose to his feet. “I'll be back later. Take care of yourself.”

It was only as he walked away that Avery realized that despite his concern for her, he'd never once mentioned their baby….

 

After Guy had left, Erica dropped off a pile of magazines, and Avery discovered that they both shared a passion for collecting recipes and baking.

“Christian has a meeting in town tonight, so I'll come by with some ingredients to bake an apple pie,” Erica promised.

Avery agreed in a rush. Guy had said he would return. The more people around to act as a buffer, the better. Guy clearly had no intention of talking about the baby, and nor did she. It would only cause tension and misery between them.

Erica had only just departed when Gavin and Trevor trooped in to see how Avery was getting along.

She was rather touched by the concern the Jarrods were showing her.

Late that afternoon Guy returned with food he'd had Louis rustle up in the kitchens at Chagall's. So by the time Melissa came home from the spa, the table was laid and candles lit, giving the honey tones of the lodge a cozy warmth.

“I seem to have taken over your home,” Avery told Melissa apologetically.

“I don't mind.” Melissa smiled at her. “It's nice to have company.”

“But you've always said you wanted peace,” Guy protested. “If you're lonely, you should come and stay in one of the family suites at Manor Lodge. In fact, there are two spare ones right now.”

“I'm not lonely—and having Avery as company is different from living with you guys.” Rolling her eyes, Melissa said to
Avery, “Believe me, sometimes a girl needs a break from her brothers. It was a pleasant surprise to discover I had a sister when Christian revealed Erica to us.”

Avery slid her gaze to Guy to see how he was reacting to Melissa's revelation. But she detected none of the resentment she'd half expected.

“So that's a roundabout way of saying you're welcome to stay for as long as you like,” Melissa smiled at Avery, “but my brothers are not.”

Guy howled in protest.

Avery started to giggle. “Hey, I know exactly what Melissa means.”

More laughter bubbled up in her throat as Guy glared at her.

“Traitor!”

“I was two when my parents died. I was lucky enough to be taken in by my aunt and uncle and I grew up with my cousins—four boys. Believe me, I always wanted a sister, too.”

“Hey, now you're both ganging up on me.”

“Wait until Erica arrives, you'll be outnumbered three to one,” said Melissa with sisterly satisfaction.

Guy gave her an evil grin. “I'll have to call in reinforcements.”

“No!” Avery and Melissa chorused. They glanced at each other and started to laugh.

When Erica walked in, she paused in the doorway. “Sounds like a festive dinner.”

“Avery mentioned you were coming to bake a pie. There's more than enough food, so join us for dinner.”

“That sounds like a great idea.”

But Avery wondered if she was the only one to detect Erica's hesitation. Her hand touched her tummy. These people
were her baby's family…she would've loved her baby to have grown up among them.

If only things could've been different. Not going to happen. Even though she'd needed Erica and Melissa present to stop the awkwardness between her and Guy, she was a little irritated that he'd made no attempt to corner her and discuss the baby.

It only underlined the fact that this was no romantic daydream; this was real life and sometimes it didn't work out quite as planned.

 

Guy had hoped for time alone with Avery.

The shock and terror that had followed her announcement that they were expecting a baby had started to wear off. Perhaps it was for the best that their talk didn't happen tonight. Avery deserved time to recover from the accident, and he could do with more time to get his head around the idea of the baby so that he could decide how he was going to handle the problem.

After they'd finished dinner, Guy found himself slouching on a barstool in the kitchen watching as the three women worked around the preparation island in perfect harmony. His sister, the half sister whom he'd treated with extreme wariness until very recently…and Avery.

Guy couldn't quite decide how best to describe his relationship with Avery.

He frowned as he watched her kneading the dough for the apple pie, her small hands moving with sensuous grace. Melissa had cut the apples into elegant slices and at Avery's insistence she settled down on the kitchen stool beside Guy and started to rub the small of her back.

“Did you hurt your back at work?” he asked.

“I'm not sure what I've done. It's aching a little.”

For a split second the image of his mother rubbing her back in a similar fashion flashed through his mind.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” Then Guy shook his head to clear the image, and said more truthfully. “Actually, for a moment you reminded me of Mom doing that. I think she used to rub her back as well.”

“How old were you when your mom died?” asked Erica from the other side of the kitchen island. “Six.”

Guy hadn't been there when she'd died. He'd been sleeping over at a friend's home. For years he'd been convinced if he'd been home she might not have died. It was his fault.

Blake had gotten to say goodbye. So had Gavin and Trevor and his father. Even Melissa, though she was only two at the time.

Guy had pretended he was fine, and retreated behind a happy-go-lucky facade that everyone except him accepted as the real Guy. He'd resolved never to give another human that much power over his life.

The only sound that broke the silence was the slap of the rolling pin on dough as Avery rolled it out.

Erica was sprinkling cinnamon over the apple slices. “I've heard plenty about your dad but not that much about your mom.” Giving him and Melissa a swift glance, she added, “I don't mean to be nosy, but I've wondered, and you are my family now.”

Melissa gave a sigh. “Dad changed after Mom died. He was very upset by her death, so we avoided talking about Mom at all.”

“How sad!” Avery stopped rolling. “I never realized how lucky I was. My uncle told me all about what my mom had been like growing up. And both my aunt and uncle regularly pulled out the photo album and showed me photos of my
parents' wedding, of my first birthday party. I always knew who they were.”

“Guy used to stare at Mom's paintings.”

Melissa clambered off the seat and started to cut the left over pastry into strips, while Avery pressed the dough into a baking tin. Erica carefully arranged the apple slices on top of the dough.

“He used to say they made him remember Mom, what colors she liked and how she smelled,” Melissa continued after putting the pie in the pre-heated oven, “but Dad sold all the pictures—he didn't want anything to remind him of Mom. We've since managed to buy some back.”

“Dad also got rid of the camera he and Mom had given me for my sixth birthday.”

Melissa looked horrified. “I never knew that.”

He didn't look at Erica…or Avery. “I used to say I wanted to take photos like Mom's paintings when I grew up. I suppose it was too painful for him to contemplate. Later I bought my own camera and joined the school's camera club.”

“I remember that,” said Melissa. “You wanted to be a photographer.”

“But Dad wanted me to do a business degree. Like Blake.” Guy shrugged. “Eventually we compromised. I did the business degree, but only after he agreed to let me go to culinary school.”

“How could he do that?” Erica protested.

“Easily. He was Don Jarrod, he was used to imposing his will on everyone around him.”

All three women had fallen silent, their eyes focused on him with varying degrees of…pity.

Guy forced an easy smile. “It was a long time ago. At least I got to do something that I loved. Something creative and satisfying, yet still lucrative.”

“But you never forgot your mom,” said Erica.

“No, I didn't, but it took a long time for me to stop resenting her for leaving us,” he admitted in a rush of honesty. “Losing her wrecked Dad's life. I didn't like the kind of man Dad became after Mom died.”

“How did he change?” Avery asked in a tentative voice. She'd propped her elbows on the island and her chin on her hands.

Guy shrugged. “None of us could do anything right.”

“He had huge expectations of us all and wanted us to stay in the business doing what we were told,” added Melissa, shaking out her blond hair. “Just like Guy said.”

“And he let you go to France?” Avery's voice was filled with disbelief.

“He tried to stop me. He'd planned for me to stay closer. I won that battle.” Even all these years later Guy could remember the satisfaction he'd gained in that moment.

“Guy wasn't the only one who left. Blake went to New York and I escaped to Los Angeles where I ran an ultra fashionable spa,” Melissa added from where she'd perched herself back on the stool beside him. “And once Gavin finished university, he worked all over the globe, as far from home as possible. Only Trevor stayed in Aspen—yet even he wouldn't work for Dad at Jarrod Ridge.”

“So Don Jarrod's empire was in danger of crumbling.” Erica said, her hands busy as she wiped the surface of the island clean. “But he had the last say from beyond the grave, and forced you all to come back and work together if you wanted anything of the estate—”

“Don't forget his will also introduced you into the family,” interjected Melissa. “You also stand to inherit a share of his empire.”

Erica put the cloth in the sink and pulled a face. “Much to everyone's dismay.”

“Not mine,” said Melissa quickly. “I told you I always wanted a sister. You're part of the family now.”