Falling for Rain (16 page)

He kissed her on the mouth again. She responded hungrily and was surprised when he eventually broke away. “Come back to the cabin with me,
Em
," he whispered
,
stroking her hair and letting his hand run down her back. He had to know she was doing this for the same reasons he was. As much as he desired her right then, he couldn’t bear it if she took it any less seriously than he did. This wasn’t a one-night stand for him – this was the beginning of forever.

Emily heard his whispered invitation and heard a little voice bring her back to earth. Her lips were still against Rains, her heart was still racing, but something was making her pull away. The old, guarded Emily was returning. She felt exposed and vulnerable.
Scared.

“I love you,
Em
,” he whispered against her skin.

She stiffened under his hands and felt panic chase every other feeling away. She pulled away, straightening her dress, pushing her feet into her shoes. Her hands were shaking, and she was very close to tears. She could hear Rain as if through a fog, imploring her to stay. He tried to hold her again, but she shook herself from his grasp. “Go away,” she said in a choked voice. She wrenched open the car door and ran for the porch of the house. Fumbling in her bag for the keys, she opened the door with shaking hands. She looked back and saw him standing by the car door. He called her name again, she heard the pain in his voice, but she turned away and ran inside.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, her breath coming in short gasps.  Why had she done that? Why had she run away again? She had wanted him – there was no doubt about that. And he had wanted her.

And he said he loved her. Is that not what she wanted?

Emily shivered from the cold. In the short dash to the house, she had become drenched. Her coat was still in the car. She turned up the thermostat and put on the kettle before going to her bedroom to change into her nightgown and bathrobe. The sound of thunder was becoming steadily closer, and sheet lightning frequently lit up the rain as it streamed down the dark windows. She went to the window and looked out over the yard, almost expecting to see Rain still standing beside the car. But of course he wasn’t. She felt a terrible emptiness, thinking that if he came to the door right now she would let him in. Now that she’d had time to think, she wouldn’t panic. She would let him make love to her.

In the kitchen, the kettle whistled impatiently. She heated a teapot with a splash of boiling water, swirling it before dumping it into the sink. She then dropped a tea bag in and poured the bubbling water directly on the bag. It was the way her mother had showed her how to make tea. The proper way, as she had put
it,
and Emily had made it this way ever since.

She carried the pot of tea and a mug up to her room and had just placed them on the bedside table when the lights went out. Under the heavy blankets and propped up against her pillows, she sat in the dark and sipped her hot tea and listened to the wind and rain pound on the steel roof and against the windows. The storm was directly overhead, loud booms and cracks followed immediately by flashes of light that lit the room momentarily as brightly as any electric light. Emily had never been scared of storms before, but never had she experienced anything so intense.

She wished now she had gone to the cabin with Rain, jumping involuntarily as a sharp crack of thunder rattled the window. She pictured herself and Rain sitting before a roaring fire in the snug cabin and was stabbed with a pang of desire as intense as the storm raging outside. Indeed, the combination of the storm outside and the storm inside were enough to drive her insane.

When they were young, they had never made love, although it was imminent, their mutual passion for each other growing every day. But after her mother's death, she had retreated inside herself, building up walls that were designed to keep everyone, including Rain – especially Rain – out. She couldn't run the risk of being abandoned again by someone she loved.

Rain had told her to get over it and get on with her life. Other people did too. Others, although they carried the memory of the person they lost with them forever, eventually learned to live without them. It was time for her to heal. She had to. She couldn’t just patch the holes that had appeared in her defences. She was like a prisoner who had glimpsed what lay outside the walls. She’d had a glimpse of happiness again. There was no going back.

She sighed and tossed the covers off impatiently. As exhausted as she was, she knew there would be no sleep as long as these two
rain storms
conspired to keep her awake. She took her bathrobe off the back of the bedroom door and drew it on over her nightgown. There were some candles in the kitchen. Maybe she would try reading or sketching at the kitchen table by candlelight.

Her way to the kitchen was lit by lightning flashes, so frequent she almost didn't need the candles after all. She stood at the kitchen window and stared out into the night. The trees in the yard were groaning under the force of the wind, and the rain was being driven horizontally. If this was the tail end of the hurricane, Emily couldn't imagine what the centre was like.

Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light, so close the thunder was simultaneous. The whole yard was illuminated as bright as if it were noon, and for a moment Emily could see the barn through the driving rain. The radiance lasted only a fraction of a second, and Emily couldn't be sure what she had seen. It was more of a feeling, but she knew what had happened. The lightning had struck the barn!

She stood looking out at the blackness, her eyes readjusting to the dark, trying to absorb the full meaning of what was happening. If lightening had struck the barn, it could only mean one thing.

Fire.

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Chapter 7

With his heart pounding in his chest, Rain watched Emily disappear into the terrible night. He wondered if, despite her protests, he should follow her anyway. He hated to think of her in that cold, dreary house all alone, especially when she was so obviously upset. But when he thought of the reception he was likely to get, he decided against it.

He got back into the car and sat there, running over the events of the last few minutes, the storm raging around him. No matter how much he would love to share his bed with her, he had made the offer out of genuine concern for her comfort. The kiss though had been impulsive. He hadn’t meant for it to become so heated. It was meant to be gentle and non-threatening, so as not to scare her away. An innocent goodnight kiss – it was she who had turned it into anything but.

His blood raced as he recalled how she had pressed her mouth against his and whispered “Kiss me, Rain.” It had been barely audible above the storm, but it was a command and contained a hunger that matched
his own
. She had wanted him as much as he wanted her. He was sure of it. His breath caught as he recalled the taste of her mouth, the cool softness of the skin of her throat, the feel of her pressed against him.... And just when he thought there was no stopping their passion, she was gone, running away from him.
Again.

Rain sighed deeply and reached behind the seat for his jacket. Emily’s was still there, forgotten in her rush to get away from him. He picked it up and draped it over the back of the passenger seat before pulling on his own. He couldn’t stay in the car all night.

He plunged into the gale and headed toward the barn, where the animals, frightened by the commotion of the storm, stirred restlessly. Expecting the lights to go out any moment, Rain found the flashlight he kept for such occurrences. He walked between the rows of cows and spoke soothingly to each one in turn.

Only the new calf, the one he thought of as Emily’s, seemed oblivious to the commotion, and when the lights did go out, it went on nursing calmly at its mother’s teat. Rain flicked on the flashlight. “You okay, old girl?” he asked, stroking the mother’s velvety nose. She snorted a reply and turned to give her young one a gentle nudge. The calf bleated her displeasure at being interrupted and went back to her dinner.

Rain gave each of the cows and the horse a bit more hay to comfort them and checked the water bowls. If the power wasn’t on by morning, he would have to bring in water from the pump in the yard. But they were fine for now, and he carefully latched the door behind him.

When he reached the cabin, he was drenched. Hastily he stripped off his clothes and slipped into dry jeans and a sweater. He built a fire in the fireplace and lit the candles on the mantle. It was warm and cozy in minutes. Rain poured himself a brandy from the decanter on the mantle and pulled one of the wingback chairs closer to the fire.

The fire cast a soft, rosy glow around the room, and Rain felt horribly guilty that Emily was alone in that dark, frigid house. He missed her too and would have been quite content to sleep on the couch if only she were here with him now. Well, not quite content, but happier than he was now.

As he sipped his drink, the full implications of the night’s events sank in and filled him with despair. Again she had pulled away from him. She had wanted him as much as he wanted her, and yet she still resisted. She was determined as ever not to give in to her feelings.

He was suddenly sure she wouldn’t be there in the morning. She would leave rather than face him after this. He knew this as surely as he knew he loved her.

He couldn’t let this happen – he couldn’t let her go again. Not when they’d come this far. He compared the woman who had come into the barn a few days ago and told him to find a new job to the one he had dinner with tonight. This evening Emily had almost seemed herself – the version of Emily he had fallen in love with all those years ago. Right down to the way she kissed him.

He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her again. Surely there was something he could say to make her stay. Could he throw himself on her mercy and tell her he couldn’t live without her? He glanced at the clock on the mantle; it was late. But he would wake her if he had to. He blew out the candles on the mantle and banked the fire. Pulling on his rain slicker, he shoved his feet into his boots and ran out into the storm once again.

But at the foot of the porch steps, he stopped. Over the trees, in the direction of the house and barn, was an orange glow. It took only a moment for him to realize that it was a fire and that Emily was in danger.

* * *

Emily didn't stop to think. The barn was full of hay and, once it started to burn, even the heavy rains wouldn't be able to stop it. She ran to the back door, slipped into her rubber boots and a rubber rain jacket, and, taking the flashlight off the shelf from over the coat rack, ran out into the night.