Falling for the Ghost of You (5 page)

"Wow, that's just off the top of your head, huh?"

"And he's a terrible kisser."  I blurt out. "It's kind of like he's...attacking my
face!  Even my friend, Lauren—s
he saw us kissing, and she said it was the most disgusting thing ever.  Like a snake eating her young.   Or maybe it's me.  Maybe I'm the bad kisser."

Zane is staring down at his food, and it looks like he's really trying not to laugh.    "Have you had any complaints before?"

I bite my lip.  "No, but, I've only ever kissed Matt."

His head comes up at that, but before he can say anything, Mom and Bill show back up.  She looks much more calm and composed as she takes her seat.  I try not to notice that Bill is wiping lipstick off his mouth with his napkin.

"Violet," Mom begins, reaching over to grab my hand.  "I am so sorry for calling you a stripper and a hooker.  You know how I go on when I'm nervous."  She smiles tremulously me, then turns to Zane.  "Zane, I hope you can understand...sometimes I say things that are completely out t
here—a
nd have absolutely nothing to do with the subject at hand.  For example, Violet.  She worked as a cashier at her grandmother's bakery, not as a stripper.  She would never take her clothes off for money, nor would she
ever
—”

I clear my throat loudly to interrupt the train wreck that is her good intentions.  "I accept your apology, Mom.  It's in the past, and let's just let those painful memories die."

Mom opens her mouth.  "But Zane..."

"No worries, Lily," he says smoothly.  "I assure you, I didn't be
lieve for a second that Violet wa
s a stripper, or a hooker."

"Thank you," I say warmly.

"Welcome," he says, and smiles over at me.  My heart bumps around erratically.

Mom looks pathetically relieved, and things go better after that.  Zane is super easy to talk to, and seems nothing like his awkwardly shy dad.  I can't help stealing glances at his incredibly perfect profile, the sculpted features...that sexy mouth...I bet he's a fantastic kisser.  And I've always been a sucker for broad shoulders.  And a hard muscled chest and washboard abs—visible even under his shirt.

My eyes helplessly trail down his trim waist and hips to his long jean-clad legs sprawled carelessly under the table.  When I finally get back to his face, I realize he's watching me check him out.

Oh, my god!  So embarrassing!

I meet his amused gaze for a split second, before I turn away so fast I nearly give myself whiplash.  I try to think of something to say to explain my staring, but what can I say that will excuse all the drooling?

I'm not really drooling.  I touch the corners of my mouth to make sure.

Oh, thank goodness.  Mom is talking.

"Zane, I gave Violet your number in case of an emergency.  I hope that's okay?"

"Absolutely.  Feel free to call me anytime, Violet."

"Thanks," I mutter, still blushing like a freak.

"Violet, call Zane so he can have your number," Mom says to me. 

"Um, I will," I say uncomfortably.  “Later.”

Never.  With any luck, I won't have to see him until the wedding.  Maybe by then he will have forgotten about my perverted eye-lick.

Ugh!

"So, what do you think?" Mom asks me on the drive home.

"Bill seems nice," I mumble, looking out the window at the passing scenery.  "Good-looking, too.  You guys are cute together."

"Thanks!  He likes you, too.  I know he seems like the strong silent type, but once he gets to know you, he'll open up more."

I try to picture Bill and I sitting side by side on the couch, eating popcorn and talking about our feelings.  The image refuses to come.  Instead, I see us sitting quietly together at a table, sewing
different
parts of a quilt.

I don't know why I'm imagining that.  It doesn't make sense.

"Once again, Violet, I am
so
sorry about the stripper/hooker thing.  I don't know why those words were
in my head, but I would never—
"

I turn away from the window to pat Mom's shoulder.  "Forget it, it's fine.  I know you didn't mean it.  It's like the time you had car trouble, and that mean cop hassled you."

Mom clutches the steering wheel with both hands and groans.  "Oh, don't remind me about that.  I nearly got arrested for that one."

I snicker. "Hey, anyone can get 'b
lowout' confused with 'blow
jo
—
'"

"Ah, don't!"

"I think that cop would've taken you up on your offer if I hadn't been there."

Mom cringes.  "It wasn't an offer!" 

She suddenly bursts out laughing, and I join
in.  We giggle our heads off--u
ntil Mom accidentally runs a red light.

After a breathless silence, Mom clears her throat.

"So, " she says.  "That Zane is really cute, huh?"

I freeze, my cheeks instantly heating up.  "I guess," I mutter.

"Charming, too.  Bill doesn't really say much about him, but I get the feeling he's a bit of a player."

"Mm-hmm."

Mom swings her blue-eyed gaze towards me.  "Well...he's going to be your step brother, so you'll probably be seeing a lot of him, a
nd—o
h, I don't know.  I guess I'm trying to say, a guy wh
o looks like that, what woman—or girl—w
ouldn't maybe get a crush on him?  Whi
ch would be a bad idea because—
"

"Whoa, Mom," I interject, holding up a hand in a stopping motion.  "Are you trying to tell me you're crushing on...Bill's
son
?"

"What?  N
-no!"  Mom sputters.  "I mean—t
hat is ridiculous!  I'm not a cougar!  I was talking about
you
, Violet."

"Me, what?"

She takes a deep breath.  "I hope you see Zane as a future brother, and not anything else.  Okay?"

"Um...okay."

Did she see me looking at him like a piece of meat?  Is that why she called me a hooker?  How embarrassing!

"I just don't want you to get hurt," Mom is saying.  "An
d any guy who looks like that—w
ell, he's bound to break your heart."

I don't say anything.  Is she thinking about my father?  He was handsome and charming, and he broke her heart with his cheating ways.

And look what happened with Matt.  He didn't exactly break my heart, but he destroyed my trust.  Do all guys cheat?  Some days, it seems like it.

This is depressing.

I turn back to the window, lost in thought.  I want to brood over Matt's betrayal, but a pair of
gorgeous dark eyes keep popping up in my head, distracting me.

No!  I will those eyes to disappear.
  Mom is right.
  Any guy wh
o looks
like Zane would surely break my heart.  And what did I want with a broken heart?

Absolutely nothing.

******

Chapter 6

My first day as a senior.

Why did I expect things to
be different this year?  I go to my classes, see the same people, barely talk
to anyone except for Lauren.

Well, I would have been walking the halls of Hidden Cove High with my boyfriend.  Instead, it's just me and Lauren, keeping our heads down as we push through the crowds.  Neither of us are very patient, and we have no problem shoving people aside.

Why, yes, we are on the same menstrual cycle.

I haven't seen Matt or Rachel yet, but I know we all have Mr. Tanner for AP English. I consider skipping class, but what's the point of delaying the inevitable?

"Are you going to tutor this year?" I ask Lauren as we stop by her locker.

She makes a face as she shrugs out of her jacket.  "I don't know.  It depends on Mr. Tanner.  I heard he's a jerk, and he's always coughing right in peoples' faces."

"Gross.  Let's sit in the back."

"Fine by me."  Lauren slams her locker shut and looks at me appraisingly.  "So, are you ready?"

I bite my lip nervously, and lean against the wall for support.  "I don't know," I admit.  "Have you heard anything?  Is anyone talking about it?"

“A few people,” she replies honestly.  “
Brooklynn
asked me if it was true this morning.”

“Ugh.  She’s liked Matt since eight grade.  What did you tell her?”

“I said she should just ask you if she’s really that nosy.”

I laugh.  “I saw her in the commons, but she didn’t say anything to me.  I saw Danny, too, but he didn’t say anything, except, ‘nice tits’ to me.”

“Okay, there’s a silver lining,” Lauren says with a smile.  “You won’t have to put up with that idiot anymore.”

“True.  I never understood why Matt was friends with him.  He’s such a creepy perv.”  Anger starts boiling in my veins.  “Or maybe they have more in common than I realized.”

We stomp towards English class.  A muscular brown-haired boy smiles at Lauren as we pass by him.  “Hi, Lauren.”

Lauren nods in greeting.  He heads in the opposite direction, and I turn to her, eyes wide.  “Was that Chase?  Wow, he got tall over the summer!  And he must’ve been working out, too.”

Lauren shrugs indifferently.  “I saw him yesterday at the store.  He said he’s been helping his uncle out at his farm.”

I study her expression carefully, but she gives nothing away.  I know Chase likes her, but does she like him back—especially now that he’s new and improved?  Hard to say with Lauren.

Well, we’re almost to our class.  Here we go.

The room is about half full.  Mr. Tanner isn’t there yet, so kids are kind of roaming around, chatting with each other.

I spot Matt instantly.  He's half-sitting, half-leaning on a desk, talking animatedly to Fitz
Carvallio
.  Rachel's back is pressed up against him, and  he's got his arms wrapped around her waist.

It's the pose of a couple, familiar and intimate with each other.  Seeing them like that is a slap in the face.  I quickly turn my head.

Lauren taps my shoulder and gestures toward the back of the class.  I follow her lead gratefully.  Is it my imagination, or did it just get quieter in here?  I dump my things on my desk, careful not to make eye contact with anyone.

“No one’s looking,” Lauren mumbles under her breath.

I sigh in relief.  I can’t help but steal a glance at Matt from under my lashes.  Rachel is standing next to him instead of leaning against him, and he’s got his arms crossed awkwardly, studiously avoiding looking in my direction.

Great.

For some reason, Zane pops into my head.  I remember telling him the things I didn’t like about Matt.  Then I mentally replay the scene where Matt's chatting to Fitz, with Rachel cozying up to him—only this time I can see him spitting into her hair as he talks.

I start laughing.  I cover my mouth with my hands, muffling the sound, but I am giggling so hard, my eyes start to water.  Lauren glances at me in concern, but I just shake my head.  I picture Matt and Rachel holding up their arms, showing off matching BFF bracelets—only both wrists are so thin and fragile, you can’t tell who’s who. 

Then I see myself breaking that delicate wrist, and Matt screaming, “
Arrgh
, mate!  What’d you go and do that for?!  I’ll never be able to have me a
barbie
again!”

I don’t know why.  My imagination is a weird place, okay?

At least I feel a little better now. 

A teacher finally shows up, but it's not the rotund wheezing Mr. Tanner.  A very young looking, very handsome guy with strawberry blonde hair, glasses, and a short beard introduces himself as Mr. Jensen, a substitute for Mr. Tanner.  I notice some of the girls take notice as he talks.

"We'll go ove
r the syllabus, so you guys
kinda know what to expect this year.  Then you all can introduce yourselves while I pretend to listen," Mr. Jensen says with a laidback smile.  The class laughs appreciatively.

Lauren and I exchange blah looks.  We both hate the stand up in class and talk about yourself thing.  Lauren always talks too softly, and I always end up sounding psycho.

"Lauren Cooper."

Lauren rolls her eyes at me, and half-stands at her desk.  "I'm Lauren," she mumbles,
and that's all I can make out—a
nd I'm sitting right next to her.

"Speak up, Lauren.  I don't read lips," Mr. Jensen says.  His nice hazel eyes twinkle behind his glasses.

Lauren glares at him, looking like a pissed off kitten.  "I'm Lauren," she snaps.  She plops back down in her seat.

"
Oo
-
kay, I think we've established that.  Care to tell us anything else?"