Falling Forward (11 page)

I was relieved. I did some basic math and figured there were probably 50 or more Miss Hawaiis still around, most of who have some sort of remarkable talent, and who could easily get to Oahu. This particular woman in pink was simply lovely. Long dark curly hair with a pink flower on the side, and a perfect figure. And what a smile. Apparently, a Hawaiian smile is the best smile on earth. I was relieved that I was off the hook. The waiter brought my refill.

“She’s coming on, probably right after this song. She’ll sing and hula for a few songs, then they take a break right when the sun finally drops. That’s when everyone gets up and takes pictures.”

I have to admit, the entire scene was surreal. I felt like I was in a motion picture. I was seated at a prominent table with this very handsome man, who doesn’t drink, with a real, live Miss Hawaii about to entertain us. And there was a breath-taking sunset about to commence. There were just enough clouds to reflect the pink, orange, and purple colors reflecting off the water, without obscuring the sun itself. This is exactly what I thought Hawaii to be.

“So, Liv, I have to ask. I saw your ring the other day, when you saved that woman. How long have you been married?”

Boom. I was momentarily paralyzed. Grounded back in reality. But he couldn’t have possibly known all the craziness I had been through the past few days. Fortunately, the Mai Tai was beginning to kick in. I was almost prepared for that question.

“I was, I mean, I technically… I still am. Married.” I took another sip. Then I looked Kalani in the eyes. “But we’re not together anymore. And we never will be together again. It’s a long, complicated, crazy story.” I wasn’t sure how much I should tell him, or how much he wanted to know.

“No worries, no worries. It was a yellow ring – yellow gold, I think. I have a friend, Victoria, a young girl who is this up-and-coming jewelry artist. She makes some pretty amazing stuff from old wedding jewelry. She tells me people haven’t worn yellow wedding rings since the 90s. So, I’m guessing you were married quite a while.” He took another sip. I didn’t take my eyes off of him. “Most people come here to celebrate freedom. Some come to heal. Which are you here to do?”

I was taken aback by the question. I suppose celebrating a divorce would be a good reason for a vacation. Michelle had done it quite a few times. “Definitely to heal. I’ve never been here before, I mean, in Hawaii, or relationship-wise. It’s all really quite recent. Very recent.” I worried I was scaring him off, even as a friend. I didn’t want him to think I’m in some kind of potentially psycho rebound situation. But it was only fair to clue him in. “It’s still unfolding. I know it sounds strange, but I’m still finding out what happened. I suppose I’m trying to heal at the same time. My relationship was kind of like an aggressive, well, I guess you could call it a cancer.” I took a sip and paused. “And there are no drugs, or cutting, or burning that’s going to fix it. This patient is definitely terminal.”

Kalani continued to look me in the eyes. He never turned away. His big yellowish-brown eyes locked on mine with the warmest, most healing stare I think I’ve ever had. “I’m so sorry, Liv. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He moved closer to me. “You know, we can’t always predict how things will turn out. But I do believe things happen for a reason. I think, somehow, your bags ended up in front of my van on purpose. It’s like they had little legs or something.” He suddenly shook his head and snapped. “Oh, before I forget, remind me later, I’ve got a surprise in the van for you.” I smiled.

Miss Hawaii was introduced, and she took the stage. After doing some rough math in my head, I was amazed how stunning this woman looked for her age. I hoped I would age as well. I wished I knew what my biological mother looked like today, if she was still alive.

Miss Hawaii welcomed everyone and smiled warmly. She told us that rather than speaking or writing, the hula was traditionally how native Hawaiians told stories through the ages. Each move had a symbolic meaning. I was surprised to find that men traditionally did the hula, and only in more recent history, women were finally allowed to join them. Her moves were perfectly fluid, as her genuine and contagious smile never left her face. Her eyes seemed to twinkle as her pink dress glowed in the twilight. The sun was dropping and becoming larger. Everyone seemed happy here. She finished her second hula, and announced they were going to take a break to enjoy the sunset.

Hundreds of people pulled out their cameras and gathered around the fences surrounding the perimeter of the outside seating area.

“Let me take your picture, Liv.” I remembered I had smashed my phone. Kalani pulled out his. “If it’s OK, give me your cell number and I can text it to you.” I smiled and nodded, knowing as I was writing that I had not only dumped my husband and murdered the old Olivia, but in the fracas, I had killed my phone too. I figured I’d run out and grab a new one somewhere tomorrow.

Kalani took me by the hand and walked me on to the stage. I was worried we shouldn’t be there. “Stand in front of the microphone.” He took a picture with his phone. “Look off towards the sunset.” He snapped a few more. Other people began to take pictures of me too. For the first time in my life, I actually felt, well,
beautiful
. Miss Hawaii approached the stage. I thought I was in trouble. She smiled and offered to take Kalani’s phone and take a picture of he and I together. Kalani climbed on stage. He looked at me, and I put my arm around his waist and pulled him closer. He smelled islandish – like a blend of salt air and coconuts. Whatever it was, it smelled delicious. We smiled and posed for a few more photos.

Kalani helped me down from the stage. We remained standing as we watched the most heavenly sunset I had ever witnessed. “This is a Kalani sunset,” I muttered with what I thought was a clever play on words. Kalani chuckled.

“Wait for the green flash,” Kalani warned me.

“What’s a green flash?” I asked.

“Right after the sun drops beneath the horizon, they’ll be a flash of green light. It only lasts for a second or two. The legend goes, those who see it gain the power to read the souls of other people,” Kalani explained. Kalani had probably seen the green flash hundreds of times. Maybe the legend was true. He, like Michelle, seemed to already possess the power to see into my soul. I watched closely as the sun dropped. I waited. And waited. The sky turned a gorgeous combination of orange and purple. But never saw the green flash. I looked at Kalani for a moment.

“When does the green flash happen?” I asked. He looked at me. “It doesn’t happen every night. Thought for sure it would happen tonight, but it didn’t. We’ll have to try again tomorrow,” he said reassuringly.

I was pleased he wanted to see me again. We returned to our seats. “Don’t look so sad. It’s just an old sailor’s myth. Some kind of atmospheric light bending or something. It’s really no big deal.”

I could live without seeing the green flash, but I definitely wanted to know more about this man. My Mai Tai was kicking in and I was becoming a little too confident. So I just asked him. “Kalani, I’d like to know a little more about you. Have you ever played the game Twenty Questions?” I cringed as I realized how teenaged I just sounded.

Kalani smiled. “Sure.” He pointed at me. “But that means I get 20 too.” Kalani sat back, opened his arms, and stared right into my eyes. “Fire away.”

I giggled. “OK. Question number one. What did you want to be when you grow up?”

Kalani laughed. “You’re not going to believe this. I remember watching some awful comedy show on TV with my dad. I must have been four or five. And these guys were playing banjo and guitar. And I would sing and dance all over the place. I wanted to be a country music star. There was something real about that music. There still is. No drum machines, no synthesizers. You have to have at least a little talent to be a country star. Didn’t work out for me. I still do have a country hat, though. My big ten gallon.”

I laughed. “I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at It’s just that… I can kind of see you dancing around in a hat that’s bigger than you are. I’m sorry, I have a little too much imagination, I suppose. OK, your turn.”

Kalani rubbed his hands together and looked off to his left, as if he was racking his brain for a humdinger. “Alright, Liv, where was your first kiss?”

Damn it. I hated that question. I had been asked that before, and I hated it then too. But a deal is a deal. “Well, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

“That’s the point of this game, isn’t it?” He laughed. “It’s supposed to be embarrassing! Hey, you started it!”

I smiled. “I suppose, I suppose. Alright, I was fifteen, and at some friend’s birthday party. It was the first party I had ever been to where, you know,
boys
were there too. It got kind of late, and they had a small workshop in the back yard. My friend got the bright idea of playing that silly game, I think it’s called 7 Minutes of Heaven, you know, where you lock yourself and a boy in the closet for seven minutes, and do whatever it is people do for seven minutes. My friend told me she would just talk the whole time. Anyway, this workshop didn’t have a closet. But it had a horribly nasty bathroom with a toilet that didn’t work. One of the kids did his business, and the toilet didn’t flush, so you can imagine how bad it smelled. Part of the game is that they block you in the room. So there we were, gasping for air, breathing a little too much methane, for seven minutes. We banged on the door, but they wouldn’t budge. Jimmy Olson, yes, that was his real name, decided he was going to kiss me anyway. I remember seeing a piece of food in his braces. He came closer to me, and I asked him if we could just pretend we kissed. He kept coming. Between the smell of the toilet and the food in his braces, it was just too much, and I… well, I…”

“OK, that’s enough.” Kalani laughed hysterically. “I can see where that was going. Next question. PLEASE.”

I was thankful I didn’t get the next sentence out. I actually slapped Jimmy, and he cried. I felt bad, and kissed him on the cheek. I eventually managed to push the door open after I screamed that Jimmy was bleeding. I figured I’d finish that story later. I reached deep into the chasm of my mind for a killer question, but there was nothing there. So I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. “Are you dating anyone?” Holy crap. That was forward. He immediately answered, “Nope.” I fired back. “Why not?” “Technically, that is another question, and it’s my turn now, if I’m not mistaken, isn’t it?” I folded my arms and found my most sarcastic voice. “Oh, OK. I see how you want to play this now. One word answers.”

Kalani laughed. It was so incredibly adorable. I was falling for his laugh. I wished I could package it up and take it home. “Did you decide on dinner yet?”

“Well, Kalani, that was a waste of a question.” Kalani made the time-out gesture with his hands. “Pause the game. Time out. I’m starving. Are you going to try the barbeque ribs? They are pretty mind-blowing. If you want something else, I’ll let you try mine,” he said. I nodded. Kalani called the waiter over and ordered two orders of ribs.

“Who’s turn is it?” I asked. “Apparently, it’s yours, because I wasted a question on dinner,” Kalani replied playfully. “Okay, good. So… what was your father like?”

Kalani kind of cringed. I hoped I hadn’t ruined his night – I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. “Papa. Well, he was a strong man. A hard worker. He worked the farm dawn to dusk. He ran a pretty big sugar plantation, until they all closed down. I remember, as a small kid, going to work with my parents. I’d pretend I was working too, picking fruits or something and putting a few of them into a pillow case. I’d find a shady place to sit, and I’d eat everything I picked. Man, he loved that farm. His father, well, the whole family, really, we’re all related to a Queen. Imagine that. She left him a whole bunch of land here on Oahu. He gave it all away – he gave it back to the families it used to belong to before it was taken away from them.

We were both silent for a moment, both looking towards the still purple sky. Kalani grabbed one of the cocktail napkins from the table. “I’ll be right back. Please excuse me for a moment, Miss Hawaii.”

He bowed playfully, then walked towards the bar. I hoped everything was alright. Maybe I freaked him out with my marriage news. Or perhaps my all-to-forward questions were too much. I watched him take something from the bartender and come back to our table. I hoped it wasn’t the check. He sat down.

“Liv, I want you to do something for me.” He put a bar napkin and a pen on the table, and slowly slid them over to me. I was confused. Maybe he wanted my phone number to send me the pictures from his phone. He looked towards where the sun had set. “Now that the sun has set, think of that sunset as your old life. Forget all the pain and the nonsense and put it all behind you. Tomorrow morning, you’re going to wake up with a whole new attitude – with a whole new life.”

It was extremely uncanny that Kalani brought up the thing about me having a new life. I had already done that, but how could he have known? The Mai Tai disguised my wonder as I tightly closed my eyes, and imagined a new life filled with positive experiences. Traveling. Relaxing. Maybe another date with Kalani. I imagined a beautiful dawn and a genuinely warm smile. I opened my eyes, and Kalani pushed the napkin and pen closer towards me.

“This might sound kind of weird, but I want you to write something for me. The old you died tonight. From this point forward, you’re a new person. Tomorrow morning, you will wake up smiling. You’ll take a breath of fresh air and realize your new life starts now. No worries, no past, just an endless future with new experiences and boundless optimism. But that can’t happen until you bury the old you. And it won’t seem real until you have proof the old you is gone. So what I want you to do is… is write your obituary right here, and right now.”