Falling From Grace (25 page)

I looked at her, wondering if she even comprehended what this meant.
 
Did she even understand what a soliloquy was?
 
I looked at her, remembering her struggle to pronounce “
dormant
” that first day back at school, and shook my head.
 
Of course she didn’t.

“What?
 
You’re not going to write it?” she asked, a look of panic crossing her face.

“Erica, we have to write soliloquies for the other person.
 
I will write yours and you’ll write mine.” I explained.

She stared at me, her face a completely empty slate.
 
“What do you mean, I have to write yours.
 
Your what?”

“My soliloquy.
 
It’s a type of dialogue where we speak to ourselves.
 
I have to write yours, and you have to write mine,” I said, exasperated.
 
“We-have-to-write-them-for-each-o-ther.”

She nodded her head, her face running through several emotions, finally landing on glee.
 
Her eyes actually twinkled.
 
It would have been beautiful if I didn’t notice the sinister grin that accompanied it.
 
“I get it.
 
And we have to read what each other wrote, right?
 
No matter what?”

I grimaced.
 
I knew exactly where this was going, and so did she.
 
“Yes.”

Satisfied with my answer, she turned and headed towards the door.
 
“I’ll try not to be too honest,” she called over her shoulder before leaving.

It was then that I knew she had known what the assignment had entailed the entire time, and had merely wanted to hear me say it out loud.
 
There was no going back now.
 
But, would I be able to be kind to her?
 
Or, would I write what I felt, what I knew to be the truth?

I knew that she’d do her worst, be as absolutely cruel as possible with me, and I had to brace myself for that.
 
I had to expect Graham to be the focus of her writing, because that was where she knew she could hurt me the most.
 
I had no control over what she had planned for me, but I could control how I responded to it.
 
I wasn’t going to go to pieces over this.
 
I had just survived a hit and run, right?
 
Erica would be a piece of cake!

Solid in my assessment, I called for Janice to bring me a pen and my binder from my backpack.
 
I wasn’t sure when Graham or Stacy would get off their respective practices, so I had to get as many of the thoughts that I had running through my mind jotted down so that I wouldn’t forget them.

I wrote until the pen’s ink started skipping, which required that I get up and find one that wouldn’t.
 
I wrote until my hand started cramping, and then realized that was because I was gripping the pen too tightly.
 
I wrote until the sun started going down and I needed to flip on a light.

I was so engrossed in the free flow of thoughts to paper, I almost didn’t notice when Graham, a sub sandwich firmly wedged between his lips, a giant cup of Coke in his hand, and stinking of sweat and grass, plopped down next to me.
 
It was his stink that gave me enough warning to close my binder before he could see what I had been working on.

“Ugh, you reek,” I complained, falling back into our old routine like a foot falling into an old shoe.
 
He proceeded to shake his head, spraying me with sweat, and we both convulsed into laughter.
 
I couldn’t know if he felt as comfortable as I did, but I hoped he did, even though a part of me told me not to.
 
Especially when the words that were written beneath my hand seemed to be screaming to be found out.

When Stacy arrived, Graham had already finished his sandwich, his coke, some pot roast that Janice had made for dinner, and a bowl of ice cream.
 
She commented that his side of the couch seemed to be dipping disproportionately to mine, and she was right.
 
I’m sure I could have placed a bowling ball in my lap and it would have swiftly rolled to his side due to the sharp incline.
 
He, naturally, took this as Stacy calling him fat.

“And that’s what you are, lard-boy.
 
Now move. I want to sit next to Grace and ask her about something important,” she said contemptuously, her hands on her hips and a menacing gleam flickering in her eyes.
 
She looked intimidating, dressed in her black and white uniform, hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, perspiration shining on her face.
 
I admired her, and envied her.

Graham, however, didn’t seem all that intimidated, or envious.
 
He looked annoyed.
 
I could smell a fight coming, and while normally I’d want to be as far away from it as possible, the idea of witnessing these two go at it intrigued me.

“Who the hell made you queen, huh?” he mocked.

 
Stacy smirked.
 
“I’m sorry. Did you want that title for yourself, Princess?”

Graham’s face grew rigid.
 
“I’m not leaving.
 
This has been my spot since forever so you can find yourself someplace else to sit.
 
Grace might be your friend now, but she’s been my
best
friend for my entire life.”

Stacy looked smug then.
 
“You mean your entire life up until you started dating Erica Hamilton behind her back and dumped her in the middle of your street, right?
 
Your
best
friend.”

With what sounded like a herniated snarl, Graham stood up.
 
His sudden movement sent me jerking back into the armrest of the couch while Stacy assumed an anticipatory stance, her face suddenly calm, her features feline, suiting her quick and lithe motions.

“You need to get out of my face, little girl.
 
Grace and I worked things out.
 
Bring it up one more time and I’ll shove that belt down your throat.”
 

I had never seen Graham so angry before.
 
He was fuming, every part of his face red, from his eyes to his ears.
 
I looked at Stacy to see if she was as worried as I.
 
Of course she wasn’t.
 
She didn’t know Graham, so any change in his mood was new to her and absolutely meaningless.

“Try it, Princess.
 
I’m sure you’re just dying to prove how macho you are, considering that you weren’t even the one who saved her life,” she jeered, her weight shifting from one foot to the other as she awaited his response.

Graham’s face turned a very brilliant shade of purple at Stacy’s taunting and I watched as he lunged, his hands reaching forward, fingers outstretched, ready.
 
“NO!” I cried out, but didn’t know who I was directing it to, because his reaction set Stacy in motion, and like a cat swerving to avoid a spray of water, she agilely stepped around him, his momentum causing him to plunge headfirst into Dad’s recliner.
 
Stacy was quickly behind him, turning the recliner’s handle and causing it to lean back into a horizontal position which, coupled with Graham’s weight and continued momentum, resulted in him being flipped over, landing on his face behind the chair.

It happened so quickly, I wasn’t sure if it had happened at all.
 
Then Janice appeared, her face full of concern…for the chair.

Graham groaned on the floor.
 
“That’s the second time today you had me on the floor.”

Stacy shrugged her shoulders.
 
“I was being nice.
 
Piss me off and I’ll make sure you never leave that floor again.”
 
She stepped around the coffee table and then took his place on the sofa by my feet.
 
“So, how was your day?”

I stared, my mouth open, my eyes wide at the calm, serene expression that was on her face.
 
She just felled an angry footballer nearly twice her size who had charged at her in a fit of rage, and she didn’t even have a hair out of place.
 
“Are you some kind of super woman?” I managed to get out while looking back and forth between her and Graham, who was still on the floor, probably trying to figure out how to salvage his pride.

She laughed at me, at my surprise.
 
“I’m just used to being picked on and attacked by guys twice my size.
 
I have five brothers, six uncles, and a dad who runs the do jang, my Tae Kwon Do school.
 
Graham pissed off doesn’t scare me at all.
 
You want to see me scared?
 
Make my mom mad!”

It was easy to laugh with Stacy, I realized, as I started laughing, too.
 
I hadn’t realized that life was much bigger and broader than the little world I had built around my relationship with Graham.
 
Again, I felt a strange bit of gratitude for the hit and run, because without it, I wasn’t sure if my relationship with Stacy would have progressed past the library meetings we had.
 
I remembered the image that I had conjured up that morning about her as my bodyguard, remembering how comical it had seemed then.
 
Not so, anymore.
 
She had a skill that made her definitely capable of filling that imaginary role.
 
It was something that I admired greatly, desperately.
 
Suddenly, I had an idea.

“Um, Stacy, do you think it would be too late for
me
to start learning Tae Kwon Do?”

Her mouth dropped open, obviously shocked at my question.
 
“No, Grace.
 
I think it’s about time you started learning!”

I smiled.
 
“How much are the classes?
 
I want to start as soon as I get these stupid casts off.
 
What do I need, when can I start?
 
How tough is it?” I was excited now.

Her eyes closed as she concentrated on something.
 
“I think I could probably get you the family discount, and you can borrow most of my stuff.
 
I have a lot of doboks that might fit you.
 
They’re long on me, but they should be just right on you, and you’ll get your first tti when you start.”
 
She clapped her hands together.
 
“Oooh!
 
I get to teach you!
 
I just remembered that my dad asked me to teach the beginners class!
 
You’ll be my student!”

Suddenly, I wasn’t so excited.
 
“Um…you’re going to be my teacher?”

I saw the corners of her mouth turn down as her mood darkened at my question.
 
“Yeah.
 
Why?
 
You don’t want to be taught by a
girl
?”

Realizing that just how quickly and easily I could end up on the floor next to Graham, I shook my head.
 
“Oh no.
 
It’ll be great.
 
Yeah.”
 
I tried to sound cheerful.
 
I even managed a toothy grin.
 

It seemed enough because she grabbed my binder and reached in to tear out a sheet of paper.
 
“I’m going to write the directions to get to-” she stopped when she saw what I had been writing.
 
She turned to look at me, her face a mixture of shock and mirth.
 
“You have Mr. Danielson.”
 
Her voice sounded affected.
 
“The second verbal assignments are always soliloquies.
 
Hmm…and
this
one looks like it’s going to be great…fun…is she writing yours as well?”

I nodded my head, and then tipped my head towards Graham’s prone body, hoping she’d get the hint that he was in the dark about that little fact.
 
“She’s going to have a great deal of enjoyment at my expense come next Friday.”

Stacy smiled.
 
“I think you will as well, just going by these little notes you have here.
 
I might consider cutting class and sneaking it just to watch.
 
And hey!
 
You’re coming back to school next week, eh?”
 

It again took me by surprise how pleased it made me feel to know that someone actually cared about me coming back to school.
 
Part of me wondered where she had been three years ago, but I knew now that I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate her friendship then.
 

“Yeah, I’ll be coming back to school next week Friday.
 
I think the doctor will let me go once he sees that I can manage pretty well.
 
It doesn’t even feel like I’ve got broken bones!”
 
I giggled nervously at that last bit.

Stacy looked over at Graham still lying on the floor, not moving.
 
I looked, too, wondering what her reasons for staring at him were.
 
“So I read that the new guy, Robert, he saved your life?”