Falling Stars (58 page)

"Give
yourself a minute honey." She lightly rubbed my arm. "Let me grab you
a little water." She left my bedside, but returned quickly with a small
white paper cup. She raised my head and held out the cup. I tried to reach for
it, but my hands were still shaking too much.

"Here,
let me help." She held the cup to my lips. I sipped.

"W-what
happened?" She smiled down at me.

"There
was a small complication, but everything is okay. I'm going –"

"What
about the baby? Where is she? Is she okay? Where's Christopher?" The
beeping of the monitor increased.

"Calm
down. Everything is fine. I'm going to call for your doctor and let her know
you're awake. I also want to get approval to give you something for your
withdrawal." She rubbed my arm as she spoke.

"Withdrawal?
Why –?"

"You're
coming down from the anesthesia. It's common and completely normal for your
body to react this way." She smiled. "I'll be right back."

The
nurse left and my mind wandered to Christopher and our daughter.
Why wouldn't
she tell me what happened?
She said everything was all right, but hell that's
what they always say just to keep you calm.

The
nurse returned and put a syringe into my IV line.

"This
will help with the shaking." Then she threw a blue blanket over me and I
instantly felt the warmth. "The warmed blanket will help with the chills."
She smiled before she walked away.

I
suddenly felt exhausted. Even though I had so many unanswered questions, I
couldn't keep my eyes open. I fell back into darkness and dreams of a small
baby wrapped in pink.

Not
knowing how long I'd been asleep, I woke to the sound of voices around me. I
blinked my eyes open slowly, trying to adjust to the bright light again. A
white coat and blue scrubs stood next to the bed. The nurses' familiar voice
sounded around me. Then my gaze shifted and there was my doctor.

"Well,
I was wondering if you would wake while I was still here." She smiled and
walked to the right side of my bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Groggy,
confused," I groaned.

"All
reasonable feelings," she chuckled.

"What
happened? Where is my daughter? Where's Christopher?" The doctor cut me
off in the middle of my question marathon.

"Calm
down. I'm going to try and start from the beginning." I nodded eagerly. "Your
contractions were strong, very strong. However, you weren't making any
progress. During your heavy contractions the cord wrapped around the baby
twice, which caused distress on the baby and you. You passed out during a
strong contraction, so we had to rush you into the operating room so we could perform
a cesarean section. We wanted to get the baby out as quickly as possible for
both of your well beings." He took a deep breath and sighed loudly.

"During
our attempts to get you moved to the operation room your boyfriend panicked and
had a small issue." He stopped when he saw my eyes widen.

"Did
he breakdown? Did he hurt anyone?" I grasped the bed railing tightly
waiting for his answer.

"Yes
he had a...a breakdown in the hallway. Family had to pull him from the room and
keep him subdued." He hesitated again.

"Where
is he?" I swallowed, hard.

"His
doctor was called in and he was placed on another floor. I really cannot
discuss anything else." I nodded, understanding.

"Where
is my daughter?" Tears formed at the corners of my lids about to spill
over.

"You
need to understand that there was a lot of stress due to the situation –"
The tears spilled onto my skin before he finished.

*
* * * *

I
groaned and blinked, blinked and groaned. The bright white light caused a sharp
pain in my head.

"Shit."

"Christopher?"
I blinked a few more times until I focused on Gwen's face. "Christopher?"
she asked again.

"Where...what...?"
Everything came crashing back on me all at once. "Mia?" I sat up
quickly, but a wave of dizziness consumed me.

"Shh...Calm
down...it's okay. She's fine." Gwen stood next to me now, holding me
against her.

"Wh-what
–?"

"Sweetheart
you had a small –"

"I
know what happened. Where's Mia?"

"She's
in her room. She came out of recovery yesterday and is waiting on you." I
sat up again and yanked the blanket back.

"Christopher!
Get back in bed." I stood next to the bed and started to look for my
clothes.

"Yesterday,
how long have I been here? I need to go to her." I said sharply.

"No,
you can't." I turned around to see her face. "You have to wait until
the doctor's release you." She saw my confusion. "Christopher you
were sedated for over 24 hours. We had a doctor admitted you into the hospital."

"Admitted?
But –"

"You
lost control." I saw a tear spill over her cheek.

"I'm
sorry. I didn't mean –"

"I
know honey. We all know what caused it, but you have to wait. Doctor J will be
here soon and then the doctor on duty will come around. If all goes well you'll
be discharged by this afternoon." She moved around the bed to where I was
standing and helped me sit back down into the bed.

"What
happened?" I put my head into my hands. "Are they okay?"

Gwen
sighed.

"Mia's
in her room now and she's fine, sore and a little tired, but fine. She had to
have a cesarean section." She saw my perplexed expression. "They had
to cut the baby from her."

I
flinched in horror of the image in my head. Gwen patted my knee.

"It's
okay, it happens quite frequently dear." She took a deep breath and was
about to speak when Doctor J entered the room.

"It's
good to see you awake," he smiled brightly.

"Hey,"
I took the hand he held out and shook it.

"How
are you feeling?" He stood against the wall in front of me.

"Okay,
slightly confused."

"Those
are all typical responses." He smiled.

Gwen
excused herself from the room, kissing my cheek before she left.

"So,
you think you're still 'better'?" he smirked.

"Okay,
so I'm not as 'better' as I thought, but you have to admit I've made progress.
At least give me that...come on." I grinned.

"Of
course you've made progress, but you still need some help with resolving these
anger issues. Stress brings it on and we still need to work on that, agreed?"
He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Agreed,"
I answered and lay back onto the bed.

"Well,
we're going to set up a new schedule for getting together as well as some other
therapies. You agree to this and I'll sign off on your release." He didn't
move one millimeter.

"Okay.
Mia was going to make me –"
Shit, Mia.

"Can
I go now? I need to see her."

"I'll
go see where the doctor is in his rotation. Stay." He ordered, knowing I
was not above sneaking out of this room. I put my hands up in surrender false
innocence. Moments later, Doctor J arrived with the attending.

"Let
me run a few quick tests." He smiled and checked my temperature, blood
pressure, reflexes, and my eye dilation. He held small talk with me while he
performed his check up and looked over my chart.

"Well,
Christopher, you seem to be in working order." He smiled to me. "I
hear you have someone waiting for you on another floor." He smirked at me.
"Let's get you out of here." He placed the chart back at the foot of
my bed. "The nurse will be in shortly with your discharge orders and help
you to get out of here."

"Thank
you," I breathed in relief. I shook his hand and sat eagerly waiting for
the nurse to come back.

"Have
you seen her?"

"Yes,"
Doctor J answered. "She's fine and waiting for you to come down."

"No
one will talk about the baby," anxiety pooled in my stomach, "Is she
okay?"

"Mia
has asked for me bring you to her." I could tell that that was all the
response I would get. That had to mean something bad happened. "She also
said to tell you, that you can only come see her if you promise to make your
appointments with me."

I hadn’t
lost Mia, but had we lost our daughter? I was suddenly full of panic and
distress at the thought. Tears started to flow.

"Christopher?"
Doctor J sounded concerned. "Christopher talk to me, talk through it."

I
heard what he was saying, but it was just too hard. The thought of our daughter
being gone, never being able to see her face or hold her, never being able to
hear Mia sing to her made my heart wretch. The haze formed over my eyes and the
humming started in my ears.

"Christopher,
come on, you can do this." My bed shifted. I took fistfuls of blanket. "Tell
me about it, let it out. Let it out...do it for her."

And
that was all it took. I sobbed.

"What
if I lost her? What if we lost our daughter? What...?" I sobbed and
grabbed a fist full of his shirt. "I-I don't know what to do...what if –"

"Christopher,"
he grabbed my wrists. "Calm down. You haven't even talked to Mia yet. It's
normal to feel all of these things, let them out." He scooted a little
closer. "Remember the calming exercises you learned at the center, let's
try one. Count with me."

We
sat on my bed breathing and counting; eyes closed, eyes open. The haze
dissipated slowly and my chest didn't feel like in was about to implode. As I
was calming down, the nurse arrived. My emotions shifted over to anxiousness.

"Well,
Mr. Mason, it looks like we're kicking you out of here today." She smiled
and winked at me. "You have someone waiting on you I believe." I
smiled at the mention of Mia.

"Yes,
yes I do." My smile broadened.

"I
need you to sign these papers for me." She handed me a clipboard and
showed me the different places to sign. "Alright, you can change back into
your things and then you are free to go sir."

"Thank
you!" I practically jumped up in the air and clicked my damn heels.

Grabbing
my clothes, I tossed them onto the bed. I turned around and saw Doctor J still
sitting there with an amused expression on his face.

"You
going to watch me take my clothes off?" I raised an eyebrow at him and
smirked. "I mean, I know I'm quite the specimen..."

"No
more please," Doctor J chuckled. "I swear to god you are so full of
yourself." He laughed and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Once
I was dressed, I practically ran out the door. Stopping me in my tracks was Nicholas,
Jackson, and Doctor J.

"Son,"
Nicholas nodded and put his hand out to me. I took his hand and shook it.

"I'm
sorry that –" I rubbed the back of my head. He stopped me before I
finished my sentence.

"I
think you're attendance has been requested." Nicholas smiled.

"Mia?"
I questioned with eagerness.

"Yes,
Bro, she's waiting for you." Jackson put his arm around me. We walked
toward the elevators. "We told her we would come and spring you from the
psych ward." He laughed.

"Jackson,"
Nicholas hissed.

"No,
no, it's okay." I chuckled. "Thanks for springing the psycho."

"No
problem." Jackson smiled large. We walked onto the elevator. I felt like I
should say something to Jackson.

"Jackson,
thanks for –"

"No,
no. I don't need a thank you." He patted my back.

The
elevator doors opened and I pushed past Jackson and Nicholas to get out.

"Slow
down," Nicholas laughed softly as I rushed down the hall.

I
saw Laney standing with a large smile outside of a door and that's where I
went.

"She's
been waiting for you." Laney hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. I
kissed her on her forehead before letting her go. Placing my hands on the doorframe
of the closed door in front of me, I took a deep breath. This was it. The
moment of truth about our daughter, that no one would talk about.

"Go
on boy, she's waiting." Nicholas chuckled. I pushed the door open and
entered the room.

The
room was dim. I slowly walked toward the bed. The foot of the bed was the first
thing I saw. As I got closer, I saw the small bump of Mia's feet and then the
long length of her legs covered in a blanket. When I reached her head, I could
see she was lying with her eyes closed and possibly sleeping.

It
took everything in me not to rush to her and pull her into my arms. Instead, I
stood there just watching her sleep. I leaned to the side thinking the wall was
there; however, I missed by about two inches and ended up bumping into a table
with wheels. There was a loud clang and a gasp. I looked up and saw Mia
giggling quietly.