FALLING: The Negative Ion Series (4 page)

“Fine,”
Samantha smirked. “But you’re sleeping near the window tonight. I do not want to be awakened by the sun at the butt-crack of dawn again!”

Chapter 3

Celebration

The following night,
I stared at myself in my full-length mirror, completely in love with my dress. Well, really with my overall appearance.

I usually do the basics with my looks: I shampoo and style my own hair and I rarely got it cut. I got basic manicures and pedicures and used only mascara and lip gloss for makeup
. Usually Carmex did the trick for me.

Today,
Samantha and my mom overruled me and dolled me up. My dress is white with faint red roses all over it and came with a red shrug. The tank dress fit me to perfection and I had to admire my ass in it. My red heels perfectly matched the shrug as did my glossed red lips. My hair was pinned on top of my head and my makeup was soft, subtle and I thought I hadn’t looked this pretty since my senior prom.

“Wow, honey! Look at you!” Mom smiled in my door. “I love it and I will be stealing that dress when you take it off.”

“No, you won’t! I’m so hiding it!” I laughed at her. I planned to wear this dress a few more times, especially in New York.

Mom laughed with me and shook her head. “Are you ready? The guests are arriving.”

“Yes,” I smiled as Samantha came out of the bathroom. Her eyes shimmered against the green of her sheath dress. It was the perfect shade for her and she swooned when she saw it, saying she couldn’t believe her luck when she found it this morning.

We complimented each other and Mom went out to the party.
Samantha and I followed a few minutes later and as soon as we stepped through the back door, loud applause broke out.

I think we both blushed as we surveyed my mother’s backyard, which was sweetly decorated with balloons and ribbons, all in maroon and white, our college’s colors, and a huge banner that read
CONGRATULATIONS
KIMBER AND SAMANTHA!

I looked around the smiling guests and grinned at them as I started walking around and thanking them with hugs and kisses. My lips started hurting when I finally got through all of them. There had to be 100 people here! I can’t complain, between
Sammi and I there could have been a lot more. I looked around again when someone called my name and I screamed when I saw who it was.

“DADDY!”
I shouted as I ran to my father, embracing him tight. “What are you doing here?”

“My baby girl graduates college early and I can’t come to California to celebrate with her? I booked a flight as soon as I hung up with you yesterday!”

I pulled back and looked up with him, looking at Parker in 20 years. He and Daddy had the same brown hair and brown eyes. They looked so much alike but Parker was loaded with tats and I doubt if Daddy has one.

W
ith a frown, I asked, “Does you being here now mean you won’t be at the actual graduation, Daddy?”

“No, it does not, honey. I will be here in May for that, too. I promise. Nothing will keep me from s
eeing you, just as I saw Parker, graduate.”

I smile then hug him tight again. “Promise you’ll try to be nice to Mom, Daddy.”

“Of course, honey. I will always love your mother and we will not fight this time. I’ll be good.”

“Thank you, Daddy,” I whisper then
he puts my hand in the crook of his arm. We walk around and I introduce him to the guests who’ve never met him then we go to his old friends and I laugh as they reminisce.

I hear a beat thump and I whirl around to the patio in front of Mom’s garage.
Negative Ion
are set up and starting to play. I stare in awe that we get a private performance then cringe. Some of their lyrics can be racy, at best, and I wonder what some of the guests will say to them. Then I remember my mother is the police captain and I bet myself they will tone it down.

The first song they played was a song that made my blood boil. It’s all about a guy wanting to trounce his sister. I remember the first time I heard it,
maybe three months ago, after a raging fight between Samantha and Jaxen over a damn strawberry Pop-Tart. A week later I heard the song for the first time.

I wa
nna pound you, I’m gonna slam you, big sister!

Don’t try to take it away
or you will pay! I will be the mister!

I want it and need it, more than you ever will
, twin!

Try to take it away and you will know my wrath, buzzkill!
I WILL WIN!

The crowd laughed
, and in truth, so did I the first time I heard it. Samantha and I smirked at each other as Ren shouted the lyrics into the microphone. I still can’t believe Jaxen wrote a song about a damn Pop-Tart. Of course, I knew it wasn’t really about the toaster pastry, but neither of them told me what it was really about so I just dropped it.

The band then played
covers and they rocked them all. Ren’s voice was strong and smooth and he made a couple of our friends swoon. I grinned as I watched them, dancing once or twice with the girls and once with my father. I smiled when my parents danced to a sweet cover of
I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing
, even if they looked like a couple of nervous kids at a sixth grade party.

After that, t
he band took a break. When they came back, Jaxen stood at the mic with a guitar, Ren moved to the bass and Stanley was at the drums scowling as he started the song. Wait… Jaxen’s going to sing? Geez, what is that going to sound like? I almost felt embarrassed for him, praying he sounded decent as he strummed and refused to look up into the crowd. Was he embarrassed himself? Oh, no. Why make him do this then? Whose damn idea was this?

As I was ready to pull the plug on the whole live performance,
Jaxen’s head came up and he began to sing and my jaw dropped. He sounded…
awesome
. I think Shaun Morgan and Jaxen sound the similar.

I was completely shocked to hear his deep voice pleading into the microphone, going high in some parts and dropping low in others. Then I started paying attentio
n to the lyrics. They were the ones Ren was singing yesterday.

I have always been me,
the me I thought I wanted to be

B
ut now I want to be him, the real me, the me I can be with you.

He’s not far away
, maybe you can love him

I
n the same way that he has always loved you

Here I
am in the open, telling you I want and need you

Say that you can, say
that you will try to want and need me too.

Allow me to kiss you,
to hug you, make love to you

A
llow me hold you, to comfort you, to be true.

Trust me, feel me,
kiss me, take care of me

F
ulfill me, complete me. Baby please, just love me

Cause all these things I already feel deep inside
for you

I got
chills as I listened. It sounded like Jaxen was singing to someone. I sighed. I guess he won’t be my first. He was already hooked on someone. I wanted to run fast and far but before I could take the first step, I felt a hand on my back and looked up. Parker’s best friend, Roland, was smiling down at me.

“Congratulations,
Itsy. I know you’ll do well in New York.”

“Thanks, Roland
. I appreciate that,” I said as I smiled back.

“Would you like to dance?”

My brows raised in surprise and I nodded. He led me to the temporary dance floor near the center of the yard and I put my arms around his neck when his arms wrapped around my waist and we swayed softly to the music.

“I almost killed your brother yesterday,” Roland laughed at my ear.

I giggled. “What?”

“I did. Yesterday, he finally gave me permission to ask you out.”

I frowned up at Roland. “Why would you need his permission?”

“It’s sort of a guy code,
Itsy. He’s my best friend and I respect him. I waited until he was comfortable with the idea of you and me together, for him to understand that while it’s true I usually chased girls for pu--, uh, sex, that was not the reason I was interested in you. With you, sex would have been a bonus.”

“Rol
and, you should have at least come to me with this,” I frowned. Dammit. Parker strikes again. I had a crush on Roland in my late teens and I didn’t do anything about it because I was scared he would reject me just because I’m Parker’s sister, which is exactly what Parker led me to believe.

When I see Parker, I
will
kill him.

“I wanted to but I listened to Parker,” Roland sighed and looked around. He looked back down to me and shrugged. “It’s too late now. You’re moving to New York soon and
any idea of us will have to be ignored.”

I
nod at his words. He’s right. I can’t start up with anyone here now. I have to keep my options open and wait until I move to date. It wouldn’t be fair to any guy since I’d be on a plane in four months.

“I understand. Is that why Parker gave his consent now? Cause he knows I’m leaving?”

“I believe so, yes. Don’t be too mad at him. It’s the exact way I’d be if it were my sister and him.”

I look around and spot Parker talking to Daddy while glaring at us. I mouth
‘I’m
going to kill you’
to him and he has the nerve to smirk. I tighten my fingers around Roland’s neck as I turn my head back to him.

“I am mad at him. I had a crush on you for
at least two years and Parker convinced me that you would never feel as I did because I’m his sister.”

Roland let out an
aggravated grunt. “Now, I really
am
going to kill him!”

“Don’t,” I sigh. “I think he knew of our father’s plan to get me to New York
long before I knew of it. This may have been his way of protecting us both. Or maybe he’s an ass that hates to see me happy. Either way, Roland, I am sorry we couldn’t see if something stuck between us.”

“So am I,” Roland nods. “Can I do something I’ve wanted to do for 4 years?”

I stop dancing. He stops too but his arms doesn’t leave my waist. My hands drop to his forearms.

“What is that, Roland?”

“I’d like to kiss you.”

Ooh.
I swallow hard. “Here?”

“
I don’t care. Here, in the house, on the porch, in my car. On a bed. We don’t have to take it any further. I just want to kiss you. Always have.”

I look at him and get lost in his
deep, rich brown eyes and smile. “Yes, but not out here. My parents and the rest, you know. You’re leaving soon, right?”

“Yeah.
I have to work tonight, so I have to leave in about an hour.”

“Catch my eye before you go and I’ll meet you at your car. But here’s a preview…”

I pull his head down and plant a lingering kiss at the corner of his mouth. When I let go, he smiles down at me and I grin right back.

“Was that for my benefit or ar
e you trying to piss off Parker?”

I
winked. “A little bit of both,” I grinned.

H
e laughed loud and looked up. “It worked. Parker’s walking over.”

I turned to
ward where I last saw Parker and froze under an ice-cold and completely pissed off glare. A glare that was
not
coming from Parker.

Chap
ter 4

Kisses

Jaxen
’s eyes burned into mine and I shuddered. Everything went cold around me. And unbelievably quiet. Jaxen’s eyes narrowed when his gaze finally left me and he focused on Roland.

“
Itsy? Earth to Itsy!”

I felt someone rubbing my arm and I snapped my attention back to Roland.

“I’m sorry. What did you say, Roland?”

“I asked if you were cold. You’re shivering.”

“No, I’m fine. Um, I need to talk to Sammi,” I said with a small smile then lowered my voice. “I’m looking forward to that kiss.”

“So am I,” Roland grinned. “Ice Breakers are locked and loaded.”

I giggled at that then walked away, searching for my best friend. Instead, I found my mother and father. They wrangled Samantha and I over to cut the huge congratulatory cake and after I made sure everyone had a slice, I thanked Mom again for doing this.

She kissed my cheek.
“Honey, I’m exhausted. I’m going to call it a night. Kiss your father, he’s going to his hotel now.”

“You’re not staying with us, Daddy?”
I frowned.

Daddy bent and kissed my cheek. “No, honey. I’ll be close though. How about I take you to breakfast in the morning, just you and me? And maybe some celebratory shopping? Let’s see if we can
max out my AmEx and get you all set for work in New York in one day,” Daddy laughed.

I grinned then hugged him. “You’ve got a date, Daddy. Good night.” I kissed his cheek, then Mom’s and sighed as they walked off, careful to stay as far away from one another as possible. Damn, they won’t even walk close together.
I guess that dance they shared earlier was for my benefit. Love? Nope. Tolerance is more like it and if it weren’t for me, it wouldn’t even be that.

“You know that I have to kill Roland now, don’t you?”

I felt my nostrils flared then I turned and looked up into the annoying face of my brother. “Why is that, Parker?”

“I saw that kiss. I told him to stay away from you.
A chaste date is all he was supposed to get. I agreed to this, knowing he has an annoying girl who will whine and nag
me
for
his
behavior.”

Roland has a girl? What? I thought he only wanted sex not relationships.

“Parker, cool the big brother act. Nothing is going to happen between Roland and me, thanks to you. You knew I had a crush on him and you kept us apart. Why?”

“First, it’s not an act,” m
y brother frowns at me. “Second, Roland is worse than I ever was when it came to girls. He’s my guy but, fuck, women love his ass. I did not need my little sister being a notch on his belt and I didn’t want to hear at work what he did to her second hand!”

“Who said I was going to do anything with him?”

“Don’t be naïve, Itsy,” Parker sighed. “If you went out with him on a real date, he would be in your panties by dessert. He’s that fucking smooth. I don’t buy any of that bullshit about him caring about you and not going that route with you.”

“So you think I’m not worth being with? Am I not good enough for someone to be in
a relationship with? I’m only good enough ‘to get the panties’ from? Good thing I didn’t feel like that with my best friend. I cannot believe I supported your relationship, even before I realized your feelings were mutual. I guess you’re right, Parker. I am pretty fucking stupid and naïve.”

I roll my
eyes, walk away then grab my best friend.

“Your fiancée
is an asshole!” I murmured as I dropped to my seat. “I cannot believe he kept Roland and me apart! I could wring his neck if I could reach it properly!”

Samantha
sighed. “Roland was not supposed to tell you he liked you but I made him. Parker is going to kill me when he finds out I butted in.”

“When did you know?”

“A while ago but I called Roland when I figured out you had a thing for Jaxen. I convinced him to go around Parker and talk to you.”

I glare at her, not understanding anything. Then I get a chill in my spine that rapidly spreads through my body.

“Sammi… is, um… do you think I’m not good enough for Jaxen?”

Her eyes widened then a look of pain sweeps her face. “What? No! If anything it’s the other way around. He’s not good enough for you!
I told you yesterday that I thought you could do better and I meant that! I swear!”

I swallow.
“So Roland is your way of keeping me from Jaxen?”

“Yeah
, sort of,” my friend nods. “I don’t want to see you hurt and I know Jaxen will hurt you as sure as I’m sitting here.”

“
God, how naïve and stupid do you people think I am?” I let out a loud, frustrated groan. “Look… I appreciate you and Parker wanting to protect me. I really do but how is anyone suppose to learn anything if you keep taking the lesson from them?”

“Not… I don’t think you’re either of those things,
Itsy. I just do not want to see you hurt. I know how my brother is and I know how Roland is and how he feels about you. Well, how they both feel. I just think Roland is the better of two evils and I hoped you would see that too. I know you had a crush on Roland and I thought it could re-spark if he approached you. A little of a good thing is better than nothing, right?”

I shake my head and frown
, trying to keep my cool as I speak. “With Roland, it could have been. Four years ago. That’s dead now and Jaxen has it and according to Roland, that’s thanks to your fiancé. I wish the two of you would have let me make my own choices. Roland and I could’ve been something four years ago. We could’ve still been something today and I could have a ring on my finger now too. Instead, once again, I have to pine for someone who has no idea how I feel because people keep sticking their noses into my relationships and making my decisions for me.”

“
Itsy…” Samantha whined.

“No,
Sammi,” I sigh. “I can’t be with either of them now. Jaxen’s hung up on some girl, Roland is in a relationship and I leave in mid-July to live on the east coast and I don’t see either of them following me. Thanks to you and Parker, I have to spend God knows how much longer alone. Congratulations. At least you got rid of your virginity and managed to find love in the process. Without anyone butting in.”

Samantha
gives me a wounded look and I immediately feel like an ass. She didn’t deserve that but, damn it, I don’t deserve to be treated like a fifth grader vying for forbidden candy.

We sit in silence for a while and as I am about to cave, I look up and see Roland standing at the back gate, talking to Parker. He gives me a subtle nod and I nod back as he
guy-shakes Parker’s hand.

“I’m
thirsty. I’m going to get a bottled water,” I murmur, standing.

“Okay. I’ll be right here,”
Samantha replied softly.

I walked over to Parker
when Roland left.

“I
’ve upset your fiancée and she needs cheering up.”

“Upset her how?”
Parker frowns, looking over at Samantha.

“I told her how much like
dicks I thought the two of you were acting while trying to plan out my love life for me.”

“That’s not
what we were trying to do, Itsy,” Parker sighs. “I’m your brother and I was only trying to protect you from master game players.”

“I can make my own decisions, Parker. You should have given me the opportunity. Now go see after
Samantha. I need water,” I hissed then turned on my heel.

My plan was to walk through the house and go out the front door and find Roland but at this point
, I was too pissed to care who saw me. I grabbed a bottled water and a napkin and walked up the side of the house, wiping off my gloss as I looked up and saw the light in Mom’s bedroom go off upstairs.

I have
the entire third floor. It was a curse in my teens because I could never sneak out properly since Mom could hear me pass her floor. She has two bedrooms, one for her sleeping quarters, the other an office. Plus she had this huge bathroom and a smaller room that she used as a closet. The closet in her bedroom was used for a linen storage that opens in her room and the bathroom.

Now the attic is a blessing.
Mom didn’t want me to go away, so she promised me privacy and delivered. It’s insulated and I can still blast my music and not disturb her. She could do her thing and I could do mine and the space was the deciding factor in which college to attend, especially after Mom decided to install a separate entrance to it, that I’ve never used. No one but Samantha has ever slept there and I always let her in through the front door.

I made
it to the front and saw Roland leaning back on his car with his arms crossed. He grinned when he saw me. I grinned back as I walked to him.

“Hi,” I giggled.

“Hi,” he laughed back. “So, New York in four months, huh?”

I nod. “Yeah. It’s time my father had me for a while.”

“I agree. Sam’s a cool guy and I know he’s missed being with you and Parker.”

I
put my water on the trunk and stepped closer and smiled. “I’ve missed him too. I’ll miss you when I’m gone.”

“And I’ll miss you too,
Itsy.”

“Good,” I murmur. “Before I kiss you, I need to know: are you seeing someone?”

He paused a minute then nodded. “I am.”

“And you still want to kiss me?”

“I do. I’ve wanted to for a while and I feel if I don’t do it now, I won’t ever get a chance again in my lifetime.”

“Will you tell your girl that you kissed me?”

“Maybe. I’m not sure. I don’t care if she or anyone else knows. I’m not ashamed of wanting to kiss you.”

“Me either. It’s just a kiss, right?”

Roland snakes a hand around my waist and pulls me close. “Yes. Just a kiss.”

I rest my hands on his arms and look at his mouth. “Okay. I’m ready.”

His other arm comes around me and his head lowers. He kisses me softly, like a peck. He turns his head to the other side and pecks me again. I sigh and run my hands to his neck and hold him to me and his lips stay on mine. I open my mouth when his tongue flicks me and he groans as he deepens our kiss. I respond with everything I have.

I have no idea how long that kiss lasted but when we broke apart, we were both breathless.

“Damn it! I
really
want to kill Parker now!”

I cover my mouth and giggle. “I liked that, too.”

He laughs and holds me. I hug him tight. It was a nice kiss but there was nothing there. Well, nothing much. Nothing real. Special. He’s a friend and that’s all. Damn.

“I’m sorry,
Itsy, but I have to go now. I hope I see you before you go to New York.”

“Okay. I hope so, too, Roland. Thanks for the kiss.”

“No, thank you,” he whispers. I close my eyes and feel a soft peck on my neck then he releases me. I grab my water and stand back, watching as he gets in the car and waves as he drives away. I wave back and turn toward home.

And I meet that ice-cold glare again.