Falling to Pieces (3 page)

“You have fun with that. I still have a
few more hours left of my shift, so I will see you when I get back to the
house.”

I help Becka gather up our trash and
empty cups on her tray before standing from the couch.

“Okay pal, if I am passed out when you
get in just make sure I am up by six.”

“You got it. With the tray in hand,
Becka heads back behind the counter to resume her shift.

Walking into the quiet apartment, I head
straight to my room lay down on my bed. I am in desperate need of a shower but
just can’t bring myself to move yet. I am so exhausted. Without Sawyer here to
yell at me about getting my paper done I have a little more time to slack off.

Missing my
bestie
,
I pull my phone from my back pocket and send her a text.

I miss your face! You need to come back
NOW!

Sawyer: I miss yours more Chey! We will be home
tomorrow evening and I am calling for a cuddle session and sleepover.

I can’t wait!
Tell the family I said HEEYYYY and tell Ben congrats. I will see you tomorrow.

The darkness of my room combined with
the softness of my bed wins the fight and pulls me into a much-needed sleep.
The paper can wait until I wake up, or maybe even tomorrow.

“Hey Chey, you almost ready?” Becka asks, her voice travelling down the
hall and into my room.

Taking one last look in the mirror, I admire my new black strapless dress
that I paired with my favorite strappy heels. Happy with my ensemble, I grab my
wristlet and head to the kitchen.

To my disappointment, my nap did not last as long as I would have
liked. Though, on the plus side, I woke up with an abundance of energy and was able
to get my paper written. Realizing that it took most of my afternoon and
involved more research than originally anticipated, I am glad I didn’t wait
until tomorrow. Especially, considering that tonight will most likely be one
that I hate myself for in the morning and need a full day of recovery. Brain
dead paper writing was not one of my strong suits.

Not to mention, with a successful paper written, I now have a reason to
celebrate. And sometimes, a girl just needed a night to let loose.

Well, not that I really ever needed a reason. Okay, so maybe I have had
more than my fair share of those nights. Don’t judge.

“All set.” I say, instantly noticing the two shot glasses on the
counter filled to the rim. “Always prepared. I like it.”

Careful not to spill, I slide my glass close to me and sip a little off
the top. “What are we toasting to tonight?”

“Here’s to our senior year of college. I can’t believe it’s already
here.” Becka raises her glass.

“Cheers!” I call, following
Becka’s
toast as we
tap our glasses together and drink the vodka. I love the slight burn of the liquid
as it travels down.

“So Becka, I have been meaning to ask you something. Are you going
through some sort of dry spell?”

Immediately coughing on the drink she had been sipping on, Becka looks at
me like I am crazy.

“What in the hell are you talking about?” she replies.

“Well, it’s just that I haven’t seen you with any guys lately. And, you
never mention anyone you are talking to. I was just curious.”

Becka used to be just as bad as me when it came to hooking up with
guys. Well, maybe not quite as bad, but she definitely had her fair share of
fun. I can’t remember the last time she talked about meeting a guy, much less witnessed
her flirt with someone at the bar. Private Eye Chey always finds the truth.

“No, crazy. I have just been super busy and haven’t had much time.”

Really?
She gave me the busy excuse?

I practically invented that line. I use it more than any other excuse
in the book. She can’t fool me. Not one bit.

“Do you have some secret boyfriend that you’ve been sneaking around
with?” I ask, not giving up easily.

“No. No secret boyfriend. Are we going to sit here and talk about my
sex life or would you like to walk to the bar so we can get
wastey
faced?”

“Good point, since you won’t give up the juicy details, I guess I’ll
just have to get you drunk-talking.” I will try my luck again once Becka has
had a few more drinks.

One of my favorite things about Avalon is having the ability to walk
everywhere. Our apartment is located right downtown, allowing us easy access to
most everything, including campus. And of course, with it being a college town,
we also have the good fortune of there being a bar located on almost every
block. It was something I thoroughly indulged my first two years here, courtesy
of my fake ID. Being on my own for the first time, led me on a bit of a wild
path. I doubt there was a bar in a three-mile radius that didn’t know Becka and
I by name.

It was that bad.

After two years of going non-stop, we tamed our ways and settled on a
more casual bar scene. When Sawyer first moved here a year ago, we decided to
check out a place that had just reopened. Penny’s was the closest one to our
apartment and I knew this was the perfect location to be our go-to spot. None
of us ever anticipated Sawyer falling in love with the
hottie
behind the bar.

 
Not that I could blame her,
Preston was gorgeous and every girls’ dream guy. But what I love the most about
Preston is the fact that he was also a nice guy. From that first meeting, I
could tell that he was genuine and had nothing but the best intentions for my
best friend. He and Sawyer were perfect for each other and I couldn’t imagine
anyone better for her after Austin.

With everything Sawyer went through last year, I was grateful that she
had Preston by her side the entire time. I could never thank him enough for how
much he has helped her get through the pain. Knowing it will never truly leave
her, it’s good to know that he will always be there to pick her up.

Penny’s has come a long way since the first night we walked in here.
From a practically empty bar, the place now stayed full of people, especially
on the weekends. In order to get a decent spot, you would have to arrive early.
Since we never made it anywhere early, much less on time, we were lucky enough
to know every bartender and have a best friend who dates the manager.

Preston brought a lot of new ideas to Penny’s, including karaoke, live
bands, trivia, and holding special events during the month. It was no surprise
when the owners promoted him to management. He now spent less time behind the
bar and worked more behind the scenes, mostly promoting and marketing. This
gave him better hours, that I’m sure his girlfriend appreciates and also allows
him more time off. He will still get behind the bar from time to time to help
cover shifts, but mostly because I think he misses the fast pace and fun of it.
Sadly, Preston was no longer our favorite bartender, and was replaced with
Lilly and Chad.

Lilly started at Penny’s not long after they reopened and has been
dealing with our crazy asses for quite a while now. When you visit a bar as often
as us, it is hard not to develop friendships. She was cute and bubbly, a lot
like Becka, except she had long dark hair that she often kept up in a ponytail.
I have witnessed a lot of drunks mistake her sweet persona for that of a push
over, but Lilly took shit from no one.

Chad has only been at Penny’s for a few months, but it didn’t take him
long to be a customer favorite. For starters, the man is gorgeous. His short
blonde hair is always in a messy state of bed-head and his dark lashes, which
any girl would kill for, encase baby blue eyes. The Penny’s uniform t-shirt
fits him like a second layer of skin, showing off every muscle in his upper
body. Chad must be making mad bank working behind the bar. Girls are constantly
competing for his attention and throwing down large tips with their phone
numbers written down. He has a bigger fan club than Preston ever did. I know
damn well he is pulling in a lot of ass.

The man’s charm even works me over at times, and almost caused me to
leave with him after a night out. After much deliberation, I talked myself out
of it and decided to just have fun with the bar still between us. We have since
made a joke out of it, waiting to see who can get the other to cave.

Let’s be honest, a girl can only deny her wants for so long. Did I mention
I am a sucker for blondes? If his eyes had been green, I never would have stood
a chance.

With my mind now thinking of a certain blonde, my head swims with
thoughts that I try my hardest to avoid.

Sam Carter.

Last time I saw Sam was over winter break after Austin’s funeral. It
has always been an unwritten law, once graduation sent us in separate
directions, that whenever we were both back in Redwood we would get together.
He never found out about my moment of weakness, when I almost gave in to the
relationship he wanted during high school. Finding him lip locked with icky Vicky
- and yes after all this time I still only refer to her as such - was a major
shift in our, for lack of a better word, friendship. Sam seemed bitter towards
me for a long time, doing all he could to avoid me. I never could quite
understand why and just went along acting like it didn’t bother me. I turned
off all feelings and went back to being careless Cheyenne.

It wasn’t until our senior year that we found the balance in our
friendship. We were both at one of Jeff’s parties and I had plans to meet up
with a guy who had graduated a couple years before us. Everything changed when
I tripped over a beer bottle and felt the arms of Sam wrap tightly around my
waist, saving me just moments before my face met the ground. The instant our
eyes met I could feel a shift in the balance. It was as if something in Sam
snapped and the next thing I knew he had me lifted in the air and wrapped
completely around him, with his mouth devouring mine.

At barely five-one I was the root of most short jokes, but loved the
way Sam could always pick me up with such ease, and how amazingly our bodies
fit like a puzzle. And at this moment, I had never been more grateful for it. Not
realizing how much I had missed his taste, I knew we weren’t completely done.
And though there were never anymore dates between us and we mostly did our own
thing, when the mood hit we could call one another up.

Honestly, it had become nothing more than a
glorified booty call
. Those are the exact words Sam used the last
time we were together, the night of our falling out. While I was comforting
Sawyer over losing Austin, Sam was the one who was able to comfort me. It was
his arms that I cried into when I could no longer stay strong and hold it in.
The nights I wasn’t in bed with Sawyer, it was Sam who held me close and made
me feel safe. With so many emotions running wild, I began to discover how deep
my feelings for him still actually ran.

I had been only masking my feelings for Sam throughout the years, hiding
them so deep that I nearly forgot they were there. Now as they resurfaced I
remember why I hid them to begin with. I was scared shitless.

And what does a scared Cheyenne
do?

Fucks everything up.

Sam had been going to an out of state college, but was considering a
transfer since he was no longer playing baseball and lost his scholarship. He
mentioned his interest in transferring to State for his senior year. He was
looking into possible internships and had a few other options to consider.
After a long conversation weighing the pro’s and con’s of his different
schools, he started questioning me about our relationship and where it would
stand if he did move to Avalon. I didn’t have an answer. It was the same
overwhelming sensation I felt that night at the theater.

The conversation got heated and he refused to accept my reasoning.
Tears were falling and words were exchanged; ones that you can’t un-say. Sam
told me that we were nothing more than a glorified booty call and to let him know
when I was ready to grow up. With that said, he walked away from me and took
what little bit of heart I had along with him.

As mad as I was that night, Sam is still a good man and deserved better
than me. He deserved a girl who could give her heart to him completely. Sam may
think that he loves me, but who is to say he still will in five years? My dad
loved my mom once, but we all know how that ended.

I needed to let Sam go.

I was damaged and would only keep him down with me. As heartless as I
may seem, I care too much to give him false hope.

The following day, he called trying to apologize for the things he
said, but I never answered, only listening to the first couple voicemails he
left. I went back to school and continued to ignore him, even going as far as
blocking him from my phone and all social media outlets. Out of sight, out of
mind.

I could never bring myself to delete his number and experienced an
enormous temptation from time to time to use it. On numerous occasions, mostly
drunk ones, I held my phone, staring at his name, willing the strength to hit
the call button. But it never happened.

Arriving at Penny’s, we notice the place begin to fill up quickly,
which is not uncommon for a Saturday night, but also because there are three
live bands playing.
Knucks
Road will be the main
event and brings in a rather large crowd.

The first band is finishing their set, so we head straight to the bar
to grab drinks before the crowd on the floor descends upon us. While we wait
for either Lilly or Chad to make their way to us, I glance around the bar
admiring how much it has changed. When they started incorporating more live
bands, the owner had a new stage built and rearranged the tables to accommodate
for the shows. The walls on both sides of the stage are now lined with circular
booths, two on each side, that serve as the new VIP area. There are high-top
tables with stools scattered throughout the rest of the area, leaving plenty of
standing room on the dance floor.

In one of the booths closest to the stage, I find Dave and his band relaxing,
surrounded by girls. Most likely a bunch of small town groupies. Before looking
away, I catch Dave’s eye and watch a smile fill his face. It gains the
attention of both girls on each side of him as they follow his stare and send me
threatening looks.

Bitches are crazy.

Laughing and shaking my head I wave at him before turning back to the
bar just in time to be gifted my vodka cranberry double.

“
Mmm
, Chad, just what I wanted. You’re good.”
Picking up my glass I take a quick sip, savoring the sweet and tart taste.

“I’m real good, Cheyenne. All I need is one night and I’ll show you just
how good.” With raised eyebrows and a smirk he slides me a shot glass.

“Poor thing. We both know that wouldn’t be able to only have one night.
I have told you, guys become addicted, and you’re just not ready for that.”

This is the ongoing thing for us and always puts me in a good mood.

“So, what’s this shot?” I ask twisting the glass between my fingers.