Falling to Pieces (9 page)

She threw her arms around my neck, her sweet scent of strawberry shampoo filling my nose. “I miss my Daddy, but I still get to see him. Maybe you can still see Joe.”

I kissed her temple, wishing it were that simple. As far as I knew, I’d never see Joe again. The pain accompanying that thought was crippling.

The rest of the night was a blur as I went through the motions of eating dinner and helping Ashley with her kindergarten homework. I offered to give the kids a bath, happy for the distraction. Violet folded laundry, then disappeared into her room and closed the door for ten minutes. I glanced at it as I carried Mikey into his room to put on his diaper and pajamas.

“She hides in there sometimes,” Ashley murmured when she saw me staring at the door. “She’s talking to her friend.”

My brow lowered. I had a feeling I knew who her friend was. “Do you tell your daddy that your mommy talks to a friend?”

Her head bobbed up and down. “He asks me when I visit him.”

My anger rose and I tried to squash it down so Ashley didn’t see it. One, I was angry with Mike for questioning his five-year-old daughter about his wife’s behavior, but I was more angry with Violet because I knew who she was talking to. She’d told me the night before that she’d cut things off with Brody since Mike suspected she’d had an affair. Now it looked like she lied.

But I told myself that she could be talking to anyone about anything. She might have shut the door because she was talking about me. But I knew she wasn’t.

The guilt on her face gave her away when she emerged from her room and stood in the bathroom doorway as I helped Mikey brush his teeth. “Ash and Mikey, tell Aunt Rose thank you for helping you get ready for bed.”

“Thank you, Aunt Rose,” Ashley said, hugging my leg.

Violet tucked her children into bed and I turned my back and left the room, tears stinging my eyes again. Less than a week ago, Joe and I had talked about children. Now that dream was gone too.

He’d left me less than twelve hours ago, but I missed him with an ache that consumed me. I grabbed my cell phone out of my purse, desperate to talk to him, my heart leaping when I saw that I had a text. But I stared at the lone message on my screen, my hope fading. The message was from Mason.

You are stronger than you think.

Was I? I’d survived so much in the last few months, but I’d had Joe by my side to help me. Now he was gone.

I covered my mouth to quiet my sob. Violet found me on the back deck minutes later, my shoulders shaking from my tears. She sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my back and pulled my head to her chest. I sank into her and cried, my anger at her fading as the familiarity of the past rushed back in. Violet had been the one to hold me after Momma’s many punishments when I was little, often rocking me to sleep. Despite her many faults, Violet loved me. She’d been there for me years ago when no one else had. And she was here now.

Just like old times.

By the time I’d pulled into the parking lot of the campaign headquarters, I’d gotten myself together as best I could. I walked into the strip mall office at 10:59 still wearing my sunglasses to hide my bloodshot eyes. My head aching as though someone had taken a baseball bat to it. Four eager college-aged kids—all of whom I was sure were handpicked by my father—sat at metal desks in the center of the room, looking up from their laptops as I walked past to the round tables at the back of the room. A
Joe Simmons for Arkansas Senate
vinyl sign hung on the back wall.

The bastard sat at one of the tables with a man I didn’t recognize. “Joe,” my father shouted. “Get over here. We have business to discuss.”

I swallowed my bitterness, but it burned as it lodged in the pit of my stomach.

My father stood and gestured toward the unfamiliar man. “Joe, meet Teddy Bowman, your campaign manager. He’ll be your new best friend over the next month or so.”

Teddy rose, eyeing me up and down as he extended his hand. “Joe, nice to meet you.”

I grabbed his hand and shook. Teddy couldn’t be much older than me, but there was a hint of cynicism in his eyes, and I knew a patronizing tone when I heard one.

“I hope you’re ready to hit the ground running.” He grinned, but it looked calculated and carefully controlled. I was sure most people wouldn’t see it, but I’d spent the last several years honing my judgment of people. My life had depended on it before. My sanity depended on it now.

My brow rose slightly and I smirked, taking off my sunglasses. “That’s what my father tells me.”

Teddy didn’t look happy with my answer, but he sat down and examined his notes on the legal pad in front of him. “Your father says you recently became engaged.”

I had expected Rose to come up for discussion, but I wasn’t prepared for the kick in the gut that came with it. I let a moment pass before I stiffened my shoulders and answered. “Not anymore.”

Triumph lit up my father’s face. “That’s not true, Joe.”

I was too exhausted and heartbroken to play my father’s games. I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my eyes. “What in the hell are you talking about? I broke up with Rose about an hour ago no thanks to you and Mom. I’m sure you’re both
very
happy now.”

My father scowled, shooting me a glare that assured me that he thought I was an incompetent fool. “Not Rose. Hilary.”

“
Hilary
?”

He crossed his legs, folding his hands on his raised knee. “Yes, Hilary. Teddy agrees with your mother’s suggestion. You need a wife or at least a fiancée to win this election.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me?” I stood, my voice rising. “You think I’m going to break up with Rose and ask Hilary to
marry
me? Have you lost your mind?”

“Joe, control yourself!” my father shouted. “When are you going to grow up and use the balls God gave you?”

“If I used my balls, I’d walk out that front door right now!”

Dad banged his fist on the table, his face red. “That will be enough!”

Teddy’s fingers rapped a rhythm on the table. “Are you two done now? Or will this go on long enough for me to run over to the Subway next door and get a footlong?” He asked with a bored expression on his face.

My father turned his rage on Teddy, shaking his finger across the table. “No one talks to me that way! I
hired
you, and I can fire your ass at any minute.”

Teddy didn’t look impressed. “Then do it because if I can’t tell you like it is during this campaign, I might as well walk out the door right this minute and save us all a lot of time.”

Dad’s mouth clamped shut.

“Okay then.” Teddy leaned forward and turned his blank gaze on me. “Joe, your father’s right. You have a better chance of building a snowman in the Sahara than you do of beating Frank Delany as a single, unattached man.”

“I don’t give a damn about beating Frank Delany.”

Teddy’s eyes hardened. “I’ll let you get away with a lot of things, and with your daddy’s income at my disposal, I can clean up a lot of messes. We’ve got about a month to take you from being a nobody to winning this thing, but you’ve got to be all in, otherwise you’re just wasting my time.” His eyes narrowed. “And nothing pisses me off more than having my time wasted.”

“You better think about your answer,” Dad growled. “People are depending on it.”

The implied threat was all too clear.
Damn him
. Gritting my teeth, I turned to stare out the window. “I’m in.”

“Good,” Teddy said, but he still sounded bored. “Tomorrow noon is the deadline to file your paperwork for the senate race. We could just send up the paperwork with a courier, but I think we should make a big splash with it, get some media coverage. We’ll have you go up to Little Rock and file the paperwork yourself then hold a press conference on the steps of the capital building, announcing your candidacy with Hilary at your side, gazing at you like a dutiful bride-to-be.”

I started coughing. “Have you seen Hilary? I doubt she’s capable of looking dutiful, much less actually obeying an order.”

“She’ll toe-the-line,” Dad bellowed.

Teddy placed his palm on the table. “That’s settled then. We’ll be in Little Rock by ten to file the paperwork, and I’ll schedule a news conference to officially announce your candidacy.” He flipped a page of his legal pad. “Given the fact you’ve lived in Little Rock as a state police detective, we’ll play up your fight against crime. You’ll look like a real life Batman—a young, good-looking crime fighter, with his attractive fiancée at his side.” He turned to look at Dad. “She
is
attractive, isn’t she?”

“She most certainly is.”

“I’m not marrying her.” He could make me break up with Rose, but there was no way in hell he could force me to marry someone I couldn’t stand.

“Fine.” Teddy turned to me with his condescending stare. “No one said you had to go through with marrying her. Just be engaged to her during the campaign and then break it off when the election’s over, although I confess, it would be better to breakup after the state of the state address.”

I shook my head in disgust.

“Even if you marry her, you wouldn’t be the first to have a political marriage.”

A political marriage? Before Rose, I probably would have accepted it. In fact, I was destined for it. But after Rose, I couldn’t imagine the life sentence. I’d rather be miserably alone the rest of my life than in a marriage with Hilary.

Teddy shifted his weight. “I don’t care if you marry her or not. Not right now. All I need you to do is tell the voters you’re engaged and pretend you like the woman. Will that be too difficult for you?”

“No,” My father barked in response. “He’ll do it.”

“With all due respect, J.R.,” Teddy said dryly. “I need to hear this from Joe.”

Could I pretend to like the bitch who had done everything in her power to hurt me? No. But I looked into my father’s hardened face and thought about what he held over my head. His plan was ingenious and I never should have expected less. All he had to do was wait for me to find something I cared about so he could dangle it in front of me, threatening to destroy it. My father and Mason Deveraux were more alike than I cared to admit. Both men knew what they wanted and were willing to bide their time to get it.

“Yes,” I grunted.

“Good, now we need to talk about your platform.” Teddy shuffled his papers. “Our best bet jumping in this late to the campaign is to focus on your state police career and apply it to crime. We’ll make you a pro-family, anti-violence Republican who personally did his part to keep Arkansas safe from the bad guys out to get its fragile citizens. I’m working on getting an endorsement from Huckabee.”

We discussed the platform and my travel schedule with Teddy stopping to make phone calls and texts every few minutes. After his last phone call, he looked up grinning. “We’re all set for the press conference tomorrow. You need to make sure your fiancée will be there.”

“She’ll be there,” my father said. “She’s taking a leave of absence from her position with the state police to work on the campaign.”

That was news to me, but I wasn’t surprised my father had set that in motion. After the disastrous dinner at their house, my parents had to know that Rose would never accept their conditions. But then, that had probably been their plan all along.

Teddy’s gaze swung from me to my father. “Tell her to dress feminine—a dress, ruffles, maybe even pearls. We need to soften her for the older female voters and make her more traditional. Some of the older women will be turned off that she was in the state police. But if she dresses more like June Clever, we have a better shot. While she’ll be the doting wife to Joe, she’ll need a platform of her own, but minimized since this is only a state senate position. She’ll have no real power yet, but will gain it as Joe advances through the political system. It would help if her focus remains consistent.”

“She has one,” Dad said. “She wants to focus on women and families affected by domestic violence.”

My stomach revolted, and I swallowed to keep myself from flying apart. “You mean like she went out of her way to protect Savannah?”

My father’s eyes narrowed, and his face reddened. “
Joseph
.”

For the first time in hours, Teddy showed some interest in our conversation. “Who’s Savannah?”

“She’s no one,” Dad growled.

Teddy glanced back and forth between us. “No, she’s definitely
someone
. Who is she?”

My father grunted his annoyance. “She was Joe’s fling in Little Rock. He broke up with her and within a month she was pursued by a stalker and killed in her home. It was an unfortunate incident that had a profound effect on Hilary.”

A profound effect on Hilary? I could have forgiven Hilary if she had shown even an ounce of remorse. Instead, she insisted that she was blameless of the entire situation.

Teddy’s eyes focused on me, his face expressionless. “Who broke up with whom?”

I didn’t want to get into this, but I was the one who had opened this can of worms. “I broke up with her.”

“Did you have anything to do with her death?”

Did I? I’d asked myself that question more times than I could count. On one hand, I could claim myself inculpable. I hadn’t stalked and killed her. But when I was honest with myself, I knew I’d played a part. I’d taken away the protection she needed with my cynicism and selfishness. There was no denying Savannah would have had a better chance of surviving if the Little Rock Police had believed her. Hilary had poisoned them and me into ignoring Savannah’s cry for help. And for that, I would never forgive her. But the fact remained that I had my own share of responsibility in her death.

But I couldn’t tell Teddy that. I couldn’t tell anyone. My father had buried it deep under the stench of the multiple incidents I’d gotten myself into over the last eight years. And that was where it had to stay.

My jaw clenched. “No. She called me the night of her death and told me someone was outside her apartment. I told her to call the police. Hours later, she called me again, clearly upset saying that someone was in her apartment. I went over to check on her and found her dying from multiple stab wounds.”