Fallocaust (The Fallocaust Series) (12 page)

My shoulders slumped and I sighed. Suddenly feeling very alone in this world, I tried not to feel sorry for myself but it wasn’t working. I felt like I was biding my time until eventually something killed me out here. And who was I kidding? It would happen. Everyone seemed to die and quickly in this world.
I thought back to all the books and magazines I had read, about what it had been like before the Fallocaust. People used to live to be over a hundred, now if they made it to sixty they were ancient. Most of us would die before we hit thirty five, younger if we became Silas’s legionnaires.
I loved learning about life before the Fallocaust. How happy everyone seemed, how easy their lives were. Everything seemed to much brighter. The colours that existed in those pieces of paper were not seen here anymore. Everything outside was grey now, the very sun was grey. The only time I saw red anymore was in the pieces of meat I got for rations. Or the fountain of blood pouring out of a rat’s gaping wound.

Grey and red… that was the greywastes. That was King Silas’s dream.
Sometimes I would put my earphones on and listen to my CDs. Eddie Vedder, Eric Clapton, Matthew Good Band. Sometimes I would just close my eyes and imagine I was back in the old world. Imagine I was in a new house that was white, with bright greens and blues, with flowers and fruits and vegetables, with my mom and my dad; even Reaver.
We were happy, like the family sitting around the dinner table, Mom with a checkered apron on, Dad smoking a pipe. Mom serving a roast. Everyone is smiling…

Just like in the pictures.
My heart hurt. I had had that life, or almost, back in Tamerlan. We had been happy there before dad got fired. Then... then we had to go to Aras. Nothing was the same after Elish had come to visit us, and nothing had been the same since.

I blinked away a tear, and walked up the steps to my dry, rotten porch. I closed the door behind me and put my bag down, I wiped my nose.
I was so fucking lonely.
I walked over to the kitchen table, Mom’s jacket still slung up against her seat. It had been a long time but I still couldn’t move it. I reached into the jacket pocket and pulled out a small Polaroid photo. It had cost a lot of money to have it taken. I had only been five or so when it was shot. We looked so happy… it was long before we had to leave. I was smiling, my blond hair lighter and longer back then. Mom and Dad looked so healthy. Blond hair just like me, and blue eyes. They always said I had a smile that could light up the world.

I didn’t smile very much nowadays, I wondered if anyone else would ever say that to me again.
I leaned down and kissed my mom and my dad in the photo and gently placed it inside my satchel bag I carried around, inside a zippered pocket. I felt like having it close to me for a few days.

With a sigh, feeling forlorn and lonely. I sat down at the kitchen table and buried my face into my hands.

I cried for a long time.

When I was too tired to cry anymore, I took a deep breath and started to put my food away. I felt even worse imagining how much fun Reaver was probably having with Reno, probably doing lots of drugs and having lots of sex. That thought made a lump appear in my throat.

I wished I had a friend… closest friend I had was Reaver and that was pretty sad considering he refused to even make eye contact with me.
Everyone else besides Leo and Greyson tended to ignore the fact that I existed, though that was probably my fault.

I didn’t feel hungry anymore, or nearly as excited for my new merchandise than I had been before. I wished I at least knew where Reaver lived so maybe I could sit and watch him for awhile, but no one besides Leo and Greyson knew where he slept.
I turned on my bluelamps as it started to get dark and walked up my stairs. I decided to skip dinner and just read until it was time to sleep. I hadn’t eaten anything all day but I didn’t care, I wasn’t hungry. It wasn’t rare for me to just not eat for a day, I didn’t have much of an appetite when I wasn’t feeling great.
I grabbed a few of my textbooks and walked into my bedroom. Though it was with a tightness i my throat. I knew it was going to be a long night.

Chapter 8

Killian

I felt a bit better when I woke up, but by then the thoughts in my head were fuzzy and distant. I knew I had slept in though, last night had been rough just as I had predicted.

I had been having terrible nightmares since we left my factory town near Skyfall, even more so since my parents had died. Sometimes I would just lie awake unable to move, other times I was too scared to move. Lately they had been a bit better though, I don’t know what snapped in my brain but some how I would feel my dad sometimes in the middle of the nightmares. He talked to me too occasionally, but mostly I just felt him near. It didn’t make the nightmares any better, but it did give me a false sense of security. Something I needed during those manic times. It helped, even if I knew he wasn’t there.
Last night had been no different. I had a dream that the boards had been ripped off the two story house adjacent to my window, and there were dozens of glowing eyes watching me. In my nightmare I knew they had eaten the residence of Aras and wanted me next. I was just waiting, unable to move, for them to find their way inside and walk up the stairs. I could hear their foot steps and their murmuring. When they eventually came into the room I would realize that they were my parents and other people that I had seen die. They wanted me, they wanted to eat me alive. Slowly, painfully, with their dull human teeth.
I sat down at the dining room table and buried my head into my hands, my shoulders slumped. I had heard my dad in my head, telling me it was okay, that he was here; but he wasn’t. He was dead, his skin was falling off, his lips were cracked, his eyes were dry… so dry I could see wrinkles in them.
I picked at a few bits of dried rat meat, grimacing at the taste. I wondered, like I had many times, if this was what my parents had tasted like to the residence of Aras. They might have tasted better since we were arian, but they were also extremely diseased.

I wonder if Reaver had eaten them…

I looked out the window, I didn’t see him though. I hadn’t expected to, but my mind had told me to look anyways. I forced myself to stand and started packing up my shoulder bag. It was my day to be trained at Doc’s clinic, at least that would take my mind off of things. I wanted to go visit the deacon dog puppies too before they were sold to the merchants. I had volunteered there a few times, and I would miss them.
After I had gathered everything, I walked outside of my house and started towards the clinic. I glanced around for Reaver but I still didn’t see him.
I wonder if he was still with Reno... I wonder if they sleep together.
That thought still didn’t sit well with me.
I sighed, today was not starting off well. At least Doc would probably be keeping me busy. Then I could get my guitar and play with puppies for awhile. If that didn’t cheer me up nothing would.

Sure enough Doc had me tending to the wounds the merchants and mercenaries had acquired on their long journey here. It wasn’t anything big, mostly bites and small cuts. I had to put a few stitches in but mostly I disinfected and wrapped them. The whole caravan group was treated nicely in Aras. Free lodgings, discount liquor and food and even free healthcare. Aras had a good reputation for this but we still didn’t get many caravans, especially during the rainy season when the Typhus River was at its worst. It was just too difficult and dangerous to get here, so those that did were enticed to come back. I didn’t mind the caravans not coming as often, it made me appreciate it more when they did come. Plus this just reinforced how safe Aras was compared to the rest of the greywastes.

“You like those spices, boy?” the merchant with the brown eyes I had seen the previous day asked. I had found out his name was Jepson. I was in the main room of the clinic with him, Doc and several other people. The main area had rows and rows of plastic covered mattresses lined up against the walls, with old shower curtains hung up for privacy. In every free bit of wall space was a metal set of shelves brimming with old medical supplies, some working but most of it was just covered in dust, waiting to be fixed.
I nodded politely and smiled. “They smelled wonderful. So many of the spices I’ve come across are so stale they’re sawdust, but these ones were great quality.”
Jepson smiled, the older man looked worn from the road but he seemed friendly enough. “I traded for those things, I think the bugger said he fished them out of Sognir. Balls of steel for that, I hear that’s another lab city the ol bastard king and Skytech uses.”
“Wow,” I said, shaking my head in amazement. It was suicide going into those places, legionnaires were everywhere, and worse sometimes. I had been warned to stay far away from them, I hadn’t had needed to be warned… there was no way in hell I would be caught dead in restricted ruins.

Skytech’s labs were especially clustered in the south, where bigger abandoned cities could be found. They were built deep inside these large cities where they could be guarded and protected. Once the city was chosen by Skytech’s president it was labelled as a restricted area, and the surrounding buildings and trees were covered in blue tape. Once it was cordoned off, all trespassers were shot on sight. Like all wasters, I had heard about top secret experiments that went on in those labs. Even of cities completely infested with creatures created in the labs, or ones that had been forcefully mutated. It sounded horrific, my family had opted to face the canyons and steer way clear of any big abandoned city. It had taken us an extra two weeks to get there because of the detours.
“Hey boy,” Jepson said motioning over to where I had dropped all of my stuff. “Is that a home made guitar?”
I glanced over to it.“Yeah, it doesn’t sound half bad but it always needs tuning, better than nothing though,” I responded, putting away the last of the equipment I had just washed.

“Well, I have something to show you then,” Jepson said, seeing that I was done. He put his dirty baseball cap back on and started walking towards the lobby type area of the building.
“I’ll be right back, Doc,” I called. Doc poked his head out from behind Menkin, he was cleaning a wound on his back.
“Don’t be long, we’re busy,” Doc said. He was an easy going guy, but I didn’t want to make him mad. I was a good apprentice so far and I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.

We walked out the double doors, onto the pavement street. Docs was near the square and it wasn’t long until we had walked back to his caravan.

Jepson started rummaging through one of the trunks tucked away behind the folded up metal platform. He pulled a few articles of clothing out before lifting up a beautiful pre-Fallocaust acoustic guitar.

I couldn’t help but gasp, I had never seen anything like it. It was roughed up, but considering its age it was in excellent condition. It was exactly like the kind I had seen in magazines.
My hands trembled a bit as he handed it to me, it even had a faded leather strap on it.
“Try it out,” Jepson grinned, he seemed pleased with my reaction. In Skyfall everyone was encouraged to learn instruments and cultural stuff but in the greywastes... well, you were lucky if the person new how to read.

I strummed it a few times and shook my head in amazement. It sounded like heaven, it made my guitar sound like I stepped on a cat’s tail. I played a couple notes, I was grinning like an idiot. I wanted it, badly.
“Now I don’t mean to tease you with it, boy, but I thought it was worth the show. Unfortunately as you understand, she’s pricey.”
And with that reality came back to me, I felt my heart sink down. I plucking away at a few strings, the sound was flawless. “How much?” I asked slowly, hoping he wasn’t planning on doubling the price just because he knew I liked it. He seemed nice enough but I had learned not to trust waster merchants, that was just common sense.
“Well, Menkin bought that back in Greendale. He bought it for twenty bucks and I be hard pressed he wouldn’t let it go for less then twenty five or some good trade.”
I bit the inside of my lip. I knew I shouldn’t… Dad’s money was for me to live off of, but I had never wanted anything so badly. This was good for my mental health, that mattered didn’t it? I knew I had been reading too many psychology books. In this age, food came before mental health and I wasn’t getting paid to work with Doc yet. I was still paying taxes too so I was going in the hole every month.
“Tell him to reserve it for me, I’ll pay when I get off of work.” The words fell from my mouth like water, before I could stop it. My mind had already decided I would buy it I guess.

Jepson smiled and nodded, as I handed the guitar back to him. He carefully put it away, I had a feeling he might play as well. He handled the instrument like someone who knew what a special piece of history it was. The money would really damage my funds, but I knew it was worth it. It was something I would have forever.
“Thank you for showing me that, I’ll give it a good home,” I said kindly, shaking his hand as we sealed the deal.

“Glad it will be getting a good home, boy, say… would you take eight for that guitar?” the merchant asked. “A deal between us, Menkin owns the classic, I wouldn’t mind still having something to play on the road.”
I thought for a second, that would make the blow of this purchase a little less hard on my savings. I didn’t want to deprive Jepson of a guitar to play. “Sure.” I said, he handed me the money and we made our way back to Doc’s where my guitar was.
We did the purchase and the rest of my shift I kept feeling a rush of anticipation as the hours ticked by. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the pre-Fallocaust guitar, I couldn’t wait to play it in the square. I bet Greyson would be happy for me, maybe he would sing along again.
I found myself on air for the rest of the day, Doc teased me a few times about it but I brushed it off, I even had a few good come backs. He was used to seeing me a lot less happy, I think everyone was.

After Miller got bit by a deacon I ended up having to stay late, but I wasn’t worried. They were going to be here until tomorrow morning. Miller’s dad even brought us some rat burgers as an apology, his wife was a good cook. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I started eating, it had been over a day since I had had anything proper.