Authors: Jessica Burkhart
ALL DAY I FELT AS
though I was hiding from Taylor and Brielle. I kept my eyes down when I entered classes that we shared and almost ran from class to class. I knew Drew deserved to know what had happened, but I
hated
the idea of even telling him. He was going to be furious at Taylor and Brielle. I was more worried about Taylor, though, because they had swimming together and had to be around each other. Also, it didn't help that Taylor was my ex-boyfriend.
If I were in Drew's position, though, I would want to know what was going on. I hadn't been able to tell another person last night, and he'd understand that.
On my way to Hawthorne to change for my lesson, I pulled my phone out of my coat pocket.
I typed a BBM.
Lauren:
Hey, wanted 2 ask ahead of time . . . can u hang out w me 4 a while after riding? If u can, I want 2 tell u what happened yest.
Drew wrote me back before I'd reached the stable.
Drew:
Of course. We can go wherever u want 2 talk.
Lauren:
Thank u. C u in a few!
“Lauren!” Mr. Conner's
voice had a hard edge to it.
I winced and looked at him. His arms were crossed where he stood, balanced on crutches, in the middle of the arena.
“I'm not going to ask any of you againâpay attention. I'm not here to waste my time. If you have something more important to do, please leave.”
I bit down on my lip and kept my eyes between Whisper's ears. We were minutes away from the end of the lesson, thankfully. I'd messed up since Mr. Conner's first command to my group.
Before I'd entered the arena, I'd thought I'd prepared myself to share a relatively small space with Brielle. I hadn't seen her while I'd tacked up, and I'd warmed up
Whisper in the aisle and rode into the arena, pretending to have been there all along with everyone else, seconds before Mr. Conner entered.
It had only taken seconds for my eyes to shift from guiding Whisper to looking at Brielle. I stared at her, forgetting where I was for a minute, and she'd turned Zane as they made a figure eight. Her eyes connected with mine.
It had been the first exercise of class, and I accidentally jerked on Whisper's reins. She stepped out of the pattern we had been assigned and tossed her head. Mr. Conner had reprimanded me, and I'd spent the next few minutes fighting back embarrassed tears.
If I'd known how the lesson was going to go, I wouldn't have come. The first mistake had been far from my last. I kept getting distracted, and Whisper followed my lead. Mr. Conner's comments to me became sharper and sharper, but it was almost as if he was talking to someone else. I just couldn't get it together.
Now I felt sad and worn out. Whisper was annoyed with me. Her tail flicked from side to side, and she kept tugging the reins through my hands. I owed her a huge apology after the lesson. Normally, I would have been mortified if Mr. Conner had made
one
comment to me. But after six or seven, I'd kicked into a weird, numb kind
of state where I stopped absorbing his comments. All I could think about was Brielle. I didn't want every lesson from now on to be like this. She'd been called out on not paying attention too, and this wasn't good for Zane or Whisper.
Like a robot, I followed Mr. Conner's instructions to begin cooling out our horses. I let my eyes stay on Brielle's back. She had ended up directly in front of me. I knew Brielle well enough to know she felt bad. Her shoulders were slumped, and she was curled forward. Her leg positions were sloppy, and it was almost as if I could feel her vibes of sadness.
“I will see you tomorrow afternoon,” Mr. Conner said. “Final warning: If you don't come to class prepared to concentrate and work, you'll be dismissed from class at the first sign of inattentive behavior.”
He wasn't out of the arena for a half second before Brielle hopped off Zane's back and led him out of the arena. It only made me think about her more. I wondered if she was crying or upset with her performance. Or upset over us.
“Laur,” a soft voice said.
I looked over, and Carina was beside me.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“C'mon. Let me help you cool Wisp down.” It was then that I noticed Carina was on the ground holding Whisper's reins under the mare's chin.
“Lexa took Rocco,” Carina explained. “I wanted to help you get Whisper back in her stall. Cool?”
I dismounted, tears making my vision blurry. This was Carinaâa girl who jumped in wherever she could to help someone else. I'd seen her do it several times at the stable and in class. It was a quality I wanted to emulate.
“Thanks, Carina,” I said in a whisper.
Together, Carina, Whisper, and I left the arena and that awful practice behind.
We made another
pass down the aisle as we cooled down Whisper.
Carina patted Wisp's neck and looked over at me. “I think she's ready to be groomed. You?”
I reached up and ran a hand over Whisper, checking to make sure that she wasn't too warm.
“Agreed.”
Carina and I were walking on opposite sides of Whisper, each of us holding a rein. During our walk, Carina had stayed mostly quiet, but offered up a few anecdotes of moments during her trip from Sweden to the
US when she'd gotten lost or confused. They had been funny enough to keep my mind off my lesson. With each story, my mind had slowly refocused, and I'd shaken off the post-lesson haze that had clouded my vision.
I tugged on Whisper's rein, halting her.
Carina peered at me in front of Whisper.
“You okay?” she asked. Bits of her blond hair had escaped her long ponytail and hung around her ears and cheeks.
“Thanks to you,” I said. “Carina, what you and Lex did for meâI can't thank you enough. I really let Mr. Conner get to me, and a problem that I'm dealing with sort of hit me when the lesson started. Really bad timing.”
Carina gave me a sympathetic smile. “Oh, please. No thanks necessary. I've been
so
wanting to hang out with you more. We see each other here and there but rarely get a chance to hang out like this. I told Lex I'd owe her one if she cooled and groomed Rocco for me. But you know Lexâshe'll never cash that in.”
“She definitely won't,” I said. “Lexa's awesome like that.” I smiled at Carina. “But really, you've done more than enough. You should goâI can handle getting Whisper groomed and back in her stall. No arguments, eitherâI'm taking you to The Sweet Shoppe soon, my treat.”
Carina grinned, her pink lips shiny with gloss. “Well, I
guess
I won't talk you out of The Sweet Shoppe. If it's okay, though, I'd like to hang with you while you finish up with Whisper. There's something I'd like to talk to you about.”
“Of course I don't mind,” I said. “You sit and relax, though. Deal?”
“Deal.”
Carina walked over to join me on Whisper's left side, and I led my horse down the aisle. Carina and I waved at Lexa, who was chatting to Rocco as she groomed the gelding. Lex grinned at us and waved back, body brush in hand.
When we reached Whisper's stall, a clean Honor was munching hay from her hay net. “Cool with you if I groom Whisper inside her stall?” I asked Carina. Something told me she would appreciate the privacy of the stall walls when talking to me.
“Perfect,” Carina said.
I led Whisper inside and changed her bridle for her halter. Carina got Whisper's tack box and set it in front of her stall.
I tied Whisper to the iron bars at the front of her stall and dug around in my box for the hoof pick.
“So, what's up?” I asked.
“Well, this is kind of something I wanted to tell you, Lexa, Cole, and the rest of my friends and teammates at once,” Carina said. She leaned her back against Whisper's stall wall. “But timing hasn't worked out and I've got the opportunity to talk to you, so I want to take it.”
“I'm honored that you want to share something with me,” I said. “I feel like you and I have become friends faster than I thought was possible in the limited amount of time we've hung out.”
“I feel the same,” Carina said. She released her hair from its ponytail. “That's why I'm kind of afraid to talk to you more than anyone.”
I bent over, picking Whisper's right hoof. I just
knew
Carina was going to tell me about her background. Unless she was going to blindside me with something totally new. But my gut said otherwise.
“Please don't be scared,” I said. I scraped arena dirt from Whisper's hoof. “We're friends. You can talk to me.”
I finished the hoof, stood, and looked at Carina. She looked nervous for the first time since we'd met. Her hands were shoved deep into the pocket of her down coat, she was shifting from boot to boot, and she played with the ends of her hair. Her ice-blue eyes were wide.
She took a big breath. “I want you to know who I am. The real Carina Johansson. When I found out I'd been accepted to Canterwood, I'd decided to keep my past from home to myself. I wanted you and the rest of the team to judge me on who I was
here
, not what I'd done at home.”
I nodded.
“That was until I made friends. Plus, I just found out that if I want, I can apply to extend my stay at Canterwood.”
“Oh,
mon Dieu
!” I exclaimed. “Carina! That's awesome! I know you're homesick, but you
have
to stay! Are you? Do you want to?”
Carina grinned. “I want to. I miss my family and my horses like
crazy
, and I don't know how I'm going to deal over Christmas, but I want to stay here. I love it so much.”
“Yay!” I stepped forward, hugging her. Whisper, never one to miss a hug, nosed each of us with her muzzle.
We laughed, and I went back to Whisper's hind leg.
“That's not the news, but it's exciting,” Carina said. “At home, in Sweden, I grew up on a horse farm. My parents met each other at a horse auction, and when they got married, they each combined their tiny start-up farms. It took years, but we've become a well-established stable in Sweden. Riders come from all over the country to buy
our Swedish Warmbloods, and we have a great trainer on staffâmy trainer Aksel.”
“Wow,” I said, pretending it was the first time I'd heard about any of this. Carina had opened up to me on her own time, and I didn't want to make her feel bad.
“I've been competing in Sweden and Europe since I was a kid,” she added. “I guess I have a good amount of experience.” She paused, her fair face turning a little pink.
“What's a âgood amount'?” I asked. I picked Whisper's hoof and turned back to face Carina. I hoped if I prompted her with questions that it would make things easier on her.
“Um, well, right now, I'm currently the title holder of the Juniors' All Around Qualifier,” Carina said. “It's nothing
huge
, but it's kind of important in my hometown.”
“Wow,” I said. “It doesn't sound small, Carina. That's so cool! I knew after watching you during all of our lessons that you were good. This isn't a surprise to me at all.”
Carina smiled, looking down at her boots. “Thanks, Lauren. I didn't want you or anyone else to think I was hiding my riding experience. At the same time, I didn't want you to think I was telling you to brag about it. That's not my style. I hope you know that.”
I rested a hand on Whisper's hindquarters. “I
do
know that. You're telling me about yourself, C, not bragging.
I want to know more about you. This titleâthose showsâthat's you. Our friends will be just as excited as I am to learn about itâpromise.”
Carina's eyes quickly met mine. “Really? You think?”
“I
know
,” I said. “Trust me. I've kind of got some experience in that department.”
Carina raised an eyebrow. “Care to share?”
“If you can handle a sort of long story,” I said, smiling.
“Hit me with it,” Carina said.
As I groomed Whisper, I launched into my own coming-to-Canterwood story. The more I talked, the closer I felt to Carina and the stronger our friendship grew. Maybe the bad lesson had been a blessing in disguise.
“MMM. THANKS,” I SAID, SMILING
at Drew. I had taken my first sip of the hot chocolate he'd gotten for me at The Sweet Shoppe. We'd walked over after Polo and Whisper had been tucked into their stalls for the evening.
“It's good,” Drew agreed. He sipped his own cocoa. We had chosen a private table for two in the back of the Shoppe.
“I'm glad we came here. The smells and atmosphere always put me in a good mood,” I said. I nodded toward my drink. “I definitely owe Carina one of those.”