Fan The Flames (Man Of The Month Book 3) (22 page)

There wasn’t an envelope and the paper seemed to have been folded many times; it was wrinkled from being read over and over. She clutched the loose-leaf sheets in her hands. Automatically grabbed the paper-wrapped picture and carried everything out of the apartment.

Brad was waiting and he opened the back door. “Hey, I see you found it.” He must have sensed something, for he immediately frowned. “What’s wrong?” He took the picture from her fingers and as he did, the letters fell to the floor. He stepped back and set the picture on the island. “Oh.”

“Oh.” Scarlett made no move to pick them up. The white sheets lay like a defect marring the gray tile. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That Todd gave you a letter for me. That he gave you those letters. Is that why you’re doing all this for me? Because he asked you to?”

“No.” But a hint of guilt had crept into his voice and she heard it. She frowned and grew angrier, zeroed in on what he’d said. “I wouldn’t be in St. Louis if it weren’t for you, for this house.”

“I know.”

He could see the betrayal on her face. Hated he’d put it there. “I care about you a great deal. I always have. I love you.”

“Am I an obsession?”

“I’ve asked myself that many times. No, you aren’t.”

“What about our phone conversations? You played me and he’d asked you to do it.”

“No.”

“You made love to me,” she accused.

“I made love to you because I love you. I wanted to tell you. I thought about breaking my promise. But I didn’t,” Brad said but even to his own ears, the words sounded hollow. They were too little, too late.

“Then why keep these things from me? Why not tell me the truth? You haven’t been honest with me from the start. I should have known there were letters. You should have told me.”

“They were his last wishes. I tried to follow them.”

“So? When we became close you should have told me. Where is my letter?” she demanded.

“In my locker at work. He asked me to give it to you when you’re ready. When you were in love again. Don’t you see the conflict I’ve been in? I’ve wanted you and he wanted me to take care of you.”

“You took advantage of me.”

“Maybe I did. I don’t know.” A hand raked through his hair. “I love you. Do you not understand my own guilt? I didn’t have his back when he needed it most.”

“You’re making no sense.”

Brad tried to make her see. “Because it’s my fault he died.”

“How can you say that? You weren’t even there.”

“If I’d reenlisted, I would have been there. I would have been on that mission. I could have had Todd’s back. I could have saved him.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t know otherwise. Last night was a dream come true. You’ve always been the one for me. I knew it as far back as high school. I dated but only to find someone, anyone, who could make me forget you. Then Todd died, and he wanted me to take care of you. Told me in as many words to love you like you deserved. I should have been there. I should have saved him.”

“You have to let the guilt go,” Scarlett said, although in reality, she was reeling from all of the revelations. She’d spent one of the best nights of her life with Brad, making love and holding him in her arms, and he hadn’t been fully open with her. Hadn’t told her Todd had sent her a letter. Given her a message.

That was the worst betrayal. The question was if she could forgive him. If they could move past this. She slumped into one of the bar chairs. “You say you love me, but do you really love me because of who I am now or is your love just rooted in obsession, guilt and good sex?”

He appeared stricken.

“It doesn’t matter,” she told him briskly before he could speak. “I need time to think. And I want my letter. I don’t care what Todd’s directions say. I don’t care what his final wishes were. I want it now.”

He shook his head. “I’ll bring it over Tuesday morning after my shift. It’ll be the first thing I do. Unless you want to come by and get it?”

She didn’t want to go to his work. See all his friends. She wouldn’t put him through that awkwardness. “No. I need to think. Tuesday will be fine. We’ll talk again then.”

“Scarlett…” he began. He was losing her. He felt panic unlike any he’d ever experienced. His heart clenched and his breathing came out as a gasp. He’d lied when he said he was tough. Right now he wanted to cry like a baby; the thought of losing her scared him so.

Scarlett though was oddly calm. “Brad, I know you haven’t been in a real relationship before, but when someone says she needs time, it means you give her that time. It doesn’t mean we’re over. It might, but it might not. I’m sorry, but you have to wait. I need to think things through. I want to take time to calm down and then I’m going to assess things. Then afterward, we’ll talk. I promise you we will talk. I live here and I’m not going anywhere. But for tonight, it’s Colleen’s bath time and I want you to go.”

“Okay.”

She nodded. “Thank you.”

His heart broke. He wanted to reach for her, but knew that like when she’d given him time, he had to do the same. “Be sure to lock up and set the alarm.”

“I will.”

A blast of cold air swirled in as he left, blowing the letters across the travertine tile floor. She made no move to pick them up. The picture he’d bought for the front hallway remained unopened, a bitter reminder that she’d never have found out about Todd’s letters had she not gone to retrieve it.

She took a deep breath. She had to be calm for Colleen. Couldn’t let her know her mom was unhappy. Pasting a smile on her face, she headed upstairs to face Colleen.

*   *   *

Brad carried the guilt of what had happened to work the next day. He could hardly concentrate. They were busy nonstop, the weather having coated the roads with a thin sheet of ice. By the time he’d worked his sixth car crash around the end of the evening rush hour, Brad wished people would have just stayed home today. Either that or slow down. Like, way, way down.

He sat behind the wheel, grateful the interior of the fire truck was still warm for the drive back to the house. “Thought the temps would be in the twenties today. What’s this single-digit crap?” Chris complained from the front passenger seat. “Road crews missed the boat on this one. At least we’re done.”

“I want to be a meteorologist. They screwed up too. Heck, you get paid six figures to stand on TV and be wrong. I want that job,” Lewis added from the back.

The radio came to life and each man tensed as the dispatcher relayed their new assignment—a water rescue. Brad turned the siren back on and drove the fire truck to the dock. “Son of a bitch,” Lewis cursed as they headed to the boat “You shitting me? Didn’t want to go in the Miss today. That water’s going to be brutal. They need to start salting the tops of those barges. Why don’t they salt the barges?”

“The river is still a damn ice field,” Roger said as they suited up into the protective gear. He’d navigate the boat to the location where the man had gone overboard. They launched, and the windchill slapped all of their faces as they cut across the water at as high of a speed as possible. Brad shivered. Despite the heavy wetsuit, the wind was freezing.

They pulled up alongside the barge, both boats bobbing in the fast current. Brad gave a curse as chunks of river ice floated by, dangerous white islands illuminated by all the floodlights. He tethered himself and got ready to go in. He had a job to do and despite his tiredness, he wouldn’t fail. A man’s life depended on it.

Lewis would head into the water first and lead the way to where they thought the man was located. Given the water temperatures, they had only a short time to find him before hypothermia set in. “You got my back?” Lewis asked.

“Always,” Brad said. It’d be the last thing he’d say that night.

*   *   *

Scarlett had no inkling anything was wrong. She only knew that by ten a.m., Brad hadn’t shown up and brought her the letter. She fumed, but refused to look needy. Instead she took Colleen to the YMCA pool for her swimming lessons. Took her out to lunch as well, going back to Steve’s Hot Dogs. Being stressed, Scarlett opted for one of their more adventurous choices of a chili cheese dog and finished the entire thing.

By three p.m., she was ready to blow a gasket and wanted to call Brad and find out why he was playing games with her. She checked her phone for the hundredth time. Nothing. He hadn’t even had the courtesy to call or text. “I’m going to check on Brad,” she told Colleen. “I’ll be right back.”

She walked out to the garage, opened the side door and found his SUV was gone. She frowned and an uneasy feeling overtook her. “This makes no sense. He should be home. And he wouldn’t ignore me.”

She went back into her house, broke down and sent him a text message:
This is getting ridiculous. I thought we were going to talk,
she typed.
Where are you?

Fifteen minutes later there was still no answer. But then her phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”

“Is this Scarlett?” a woman’s voice she didn’t recognize asked.

She clutched the phone. Like when the men had come, she now realized something was terribly wrong. “Yes. This is she speaking.”

“Hi Scarlett. I’m Ellen Silverman.”

“Brad’s mom.” Scarlett gripped her cell phone tightly.

“Yes. There’s been an incident. I would have called you earlier, but Brad’s phone is locked. Your number just came up on the screen and I saw it and dialed.”

Scarlett froze. She opened her mouth but no words came. Fear overtook her and rendered her mute.

“Brad’s going to be fine,” Ellen quickly went on, “so don’t worry. He’s at the hospital for observation. I’m here with him. I hope you don’t mind that I took the liberty of calling and telling you.”

“No, no. I’m glad you called.” Scarlett tried to breathe. Her chest heaved. Panic clutched her. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“He was out on the river doing a rescue. Took close to four hours. They’re treating him for hypothermia and frostbite. His dad and I are here with him.”

Scarlett’s phone began to beep. Her mother. She ignored the call. “Where is he?”

“Barnes. But he’s sleeping right now. Has been for a long time. The doctors say he’ll be released soon and this is just standard procedure. I’ll call you again. The nurse is here and I have to go.”

Scarlett’s phone began to vibrate again as her mother tried again. She answered. “What?”

“I just got one of those news alerts on my phone. They reported two firefighters were hurt during a water rescue late last night. They didn’t give names or details, just that they’d been taken to the hospital. Said they were with the marine unit. Is it Brad? Was he working?”

“Did they say what injuries?” Scarlett wanted to know if there was more Ellen hadn’t told her.

“The news didn’t say. It actually gave very little information. Rather shoddy reporting if you ask me. Is Brad okay?”

“Mom, can you come get Colleen? I need to get to Barnes.”

“It’s Brad?” Her mom’s voice inched upward. “Oh, honey. Is he alright?”

“Mom.” Scarlett couldn’t believe how calm her voice was. Inside she was a quivering batch of nerves. “Mom, his mother called. Said he’s okay. But I’m going. How about I bring Colleen to your house? We can be there in about fifteen minutes.”

“Oh, honey. Don’t disturb her. I’ll have your father drive. He’s good in a crisis. We’re on our way.”

“Okay,” Scarlett said. She went upstairs and found Colleen brushing Winnie’s hair. “Colleen, I have to go out for a little bit. Granny and Grandpa are coming to play with you.”

Scarlett went into her bedroom and changed out of her sweats. She put on a sweater and jeans. Tamed her hair into a tight knot.

Thirty minutes later, Scarlett hurried up to the information desk at Barnes-Jewish Hospital. “Brad Silverman’s room,” she said.

The woman looked it up and directed her to the correct elevator. Scarlett reached the floor and found the nurses’ station. “I’m here for Brad Silverman,” she told them.

Two men sitting in a waiting area stood. “Scarlett?” one of them asked. “I’m Lieutenant Chris Ames. This is Roger Pyle. Remember, from the cookies?”

“Is Brad okay?” She wrapped her arms around her waist.

“Yeah, but I’ll be busting their chops. He and Lewis needed to come out of the water, but they refused because they were so close to rescuing the victim. Stubborn ass … Sorry.” He appeared mortified at his outburst. “My apologies. My guys mean a lot to me.”

“Understood. I was married to a military man. No offense taken. So,” she prompted.

“They got him, but we had to send in another set of guys to pull all of them out. Then there’s the journey back. Anyway, they were treated for frostbite and hypothermia and held for observation. We’re not letting them out of here until they’re one hundred percent. Doctor says that’s soon, so we came back up to wait. Doc also said that they were very lucky. No permanent damage.”

“The guy they rescued is also going to make it,” Roger added.

“Can I see him?”

“Yeah. It’s that room over there.” The lieutenant pointed her in the right direction.

“Thanks.”

The door was cracked, and she pushed it open. After passing the bathroom and the closets, she stepped into a double room. Both beds were occupied. An older woman held the hand of the man in the first bed. She glanced up as Scarlett went by. Scarlett stepped to the edge of the curtain and looked around. Hospital beds had a way of making anyone look small, and the larger-than-life Brad Silverman was no exception. Upright slightly, she could see how pale his face was. He was hooked up to monitors and an IV drip. He was covered with warm blankets that came up to his chin, both arms underneath and to his sides. Nothing but his face was visible.

“Scarlett?” Ellen glanced up from her vigil. “You’re here.”

The woman by the next bed rose. “Scarlett?” She came around the corner and drew Scarlett in for a big hug. “It’s going to be okay. I’m Peggy, the cat lady. That fool there is my Lewis. We’ve been married a long time or I’d kill him for this. They’re going to be fine. Lewis might lose the tips of his fingers, but that’s all. He took the worst of it. Told me Brad had his back, which is why he’s even alive. Could have been so different. Brad saved him. Held him tight while the other guys pulled him out.”