Authors: Tom Spanbauer
Endicott's hand was on the knob, turning.
I cocked the rifle and the cross was right on the back of his head, just above the larded wrinkle. Then he turned around. Endicott had heard me cock the rifle. He turned around and looked straight at meâthe cross was on his forehead. He looked me in the eye, that whistle of his in his mouth.
“Forevermore,” I said.
His eyes locked on mine, squinting down the sights. I set the cross on his left eye. Soon as I did, his eye changed. An arrow pierced it. Then his right eye wasn't there either; it looked off into the distance. Endicott stepped back, the whistle fell from his mouth, then his knees gave way. He knelt for a moment, then fell forward. His ear was to the ground again, the way I'd seen him the other day, and his lard ass in the air.
Geronimo was standing on the lawn, just at the edge of the river, bow drawn, eyes fierce like a hawk's, like a snake's. He was naked except for a string around his waist with a patch of leather that hung down in front of him. There were beads on itâthe beads that bought Manhattanâand a hunting knife in a sheath hanging from the string. Around his neck was a necklace with beads the color of the sky at night. Geronimo's face and the right side of his body were covered with designs in muddy red paint-designs like you might see on rattlesnakes, or maybe butterflies. He did not move for some time. He just stood there pointing at Endicott lying there with his ear to the ground, pointing out Endicott's death to the world.
I did not know how to uncock the rifleâmy father had never shown me, not that I'd wanted to learnâso I pointed the .25-20 at the grass and pulled the trigger. The sound of the blast echoed through the trees and went up the river and down the river and up into the sky. After that it was quiet except for the rain. Then I heard another sound like children crying or lots of people way far away cheeringâI couldn't tell whichâbut then I knew that the sound was coming from Geronimo. He had started to sing the kinds of songs Indians singâsongs that are like animal sounds.
Geronimo started to move toward his prey then, laying his bow down gently. His step was more like dancing than a walk, and he was still singing as he went. Geronimo bent over and smelled Endicott like a dog would smell him. Then he circled around him again and again, dancing and singing the whole while.
Geronimo placed his foot on Endicott's mouth and pulled the arrow from his eye.
Heya, heya, heya
, Geronimo sang. Then he made a crying sound, then a howling dog sound. He pulled the whistle from Endicott's neck and held it up to the sky along with the arrow, like he was showing the sky, showing God, that Geronimo had gotten the whistle, finally.
Heya, heya, heya, I got the whistle
. And then Geronimo put the whistle around his own neck.
Geronimo took the knife out of its sheath and showed the blade to the sky, like he was telling the story as he was living it.
As I watched, I realized he wasn't really a nigger. He was an Indian, like Sugar Babe. But then, watching him there in the rain like that, watching him like he was, I decided he was just himself, pure and simple: a person, like me. He was Geronimo being himself in our free country.
Geronimo brought the knife down and sliced part of Endicott's head off, sliced along that lard wrinkle in the back. He took Endicott's scalp and raised it up; showed it to the sky and told the story. Then he put the knife back into his sheath and
picked up the arrow that had pierced Endicott's eye. Geronimo picked up another arrow that was lashed to the bow and took those two arrows and made a cross with them. He raised that cross up in his left hand; in his right hand was Endicott's scalp. Geronimo walked to the river slowly, dancing to his own wild animal sounds. He waded in up to his knees, letting the blood drip into the river. Geronimo told his story to the river too. Then he turned and told it to the east, then to the south, to the west, and finally to the north.
Heya, heya, heya
, he sang,
heya, heya, Sugar Babe
, he sang,
heya, heya, Sugar Babe
.
I WENT BACK
around to the front door like Geronimo told me and got the hellhounds' attention by opening the door an inch, then closing it again. I did it over and over, while Geronimo took Endicott's clothes off his body like he told me he was going to do. Geronimo dragged Endicott into the house through the back door and laid him down there on the front-room floor in front of the fireplace. He put Endicott's clothes in a pile next to him, shorts stuffed in the Levi's, socks stuffed in the boots, just the way Endicott had done it. Geronimo smiled to me and said,
you know, just like usual
. When I got the signal that said the coast was clear, I closed the door for good, wiping the fingerprints off the knob just in case.
Then I took Old Glory down like Geronimo told me to do and folded it up like I had for flag duty at the St. Joseph's School. I brought that flag to him like he said.
Geronimo looked at Old Glory all folded up proper like that and laughed. He took it from me and shook it out the way my mother shakes out the tablecloth. He laid that American flag down next to my father. Together we rolled my father into it. My father wasn't dead, just dead drunk. Geronimo could tell the difference.
I cleaned the stone chips off the ground from when my father'd shot the wall. Geronimo picked up his bow and arrows. I got the .25-20, and my father's suit jacket. Geronimo found
the three empty bullet shells. He got the blood up from the grass where Endicott had been. I don't know how Geronimo took away that stain, but he did. I looked around a final time; there was no trace of what had happened.
Geronimo said it was important to get out of there before the rain stopped. It was about ready to let up, he said. We were about to pick my father up on the red-white-and-blue stretcherâget out of there for goodâwhen Geronimo walked back up to the house. I wish I hadn't followed him back there, but I did.
We looked in the window.
Those five hellhounds were sitting around Endicott in their assigned positions, licking away like I saw them do before. The dog at Endicott's head was licking at his scalped place. He was biting at it too.
I helped Geronimo carry my father down the road a piece, but then I felt like I was going to puke and then I did start puking. I began to see only the outlines of things again; everything was traced like the things back in my father's saddle room. I started shaking all over, the fear that was always in me finally coming out. I tried to stop shaking, but couldn't. I looked around. Everything seemed like the sound of the screen door when you were far away from it. I went down fast, flat as a pancake on the flat cookie sheet of earth. It was all I could do to keep from falling off the planet. I looked above me; all I could see was sky.
I remember thinking that the rain hadn't stopped, and I was glad it hadn't. The last thing I remember before I finally did fall into infinity, before I woke up in that room in the St. Anthony's Hospital, was Geronimo carrying me and singing. But this time his song wasn't a howl or a cry. His song was the kind that made you want to sleep, maybe forever. Maybe forevermore.
THE NURSE SAID
over a week now, and then she said fever and then she said vivid imagination. My mother came in and crossed herself. Her one eye was still looking far off and it was black and blue.
When the nurse was gone my mother said American flag and sober and I love you. She left when my father came in. My father stayed but didn't say anything, not until the sheriff came. The sheriff said pile of bones and nigger and scalp and whistle.
I STAYED AT
the bottom of the river with the photograph of that woman Sugar Babe, with the dollar bills and the beads there in that room in the St. Anthony's Hospital. When I knew the time was right, I pulled those underwater tubes out of my nose. I got up and checked the door a couple of times, opening it up an inch and then closing it over and over again, like I'd done that night, the way Geronimo had told me. Those hellhounds were trying to get in. I shut the door tight and crawled out the window; slid down the eave to the trellis with the Seven Sister rose hanging from it. I hopped a freight and joined the circus a thousand times. Mainly, I got myself out of that room in the St. Anthony's Hospital. Haji Baba and Geronimo joined the circus together, hopped a freight. Everything was an illusion, from Nantucket to Oshkosh to Timbuktu to Broadway. Haji Baba and Geronimo swinging high, the swing going over onto itself, back to where things were normal again. Sprung back into home. Snug with American history, roast beef and spuds, farts, one thing leading to another, no problem forevermore.
THE INDIANS PARKED
in the back alley behind the Working Man's Club gave me a ride most of the way to the farm. They gave me a beer, a Rainier, and I sat in the front seat, riding shotgun by the window. Next to me was a woman named Mona Lisa who sat between me and the driver eating boiled eggs.
Wolf, the man who was driving, asked me if I had any money for gas. I said no, I didn't, and then somebody else in there, some woman, said
what can you do for us then? And
all of them laughed.
He's got a big trinket for you
, one of them said, and then they all laughed again. Somebody said
sing for his supper
and there was more laughter, and when they quit laughing,
Wolf said
you got any trinkets?
and I said
the trinkets that bought Manhattan
, and for some reason they all laughed again. I didn't think what I said was funny. I wondered how they could think it was. Finally I told them I could sing and dance.
They really laughed at that, the Studebaker bouncing up and down.
Elvis Presley
, someone said.
No, Pat Boone
, said someone else.
Marge and Gower Champion
, said someone.
Tennessee Ernie Ford, Sixteen tons and what do you get
, someone said, and everybody sang,
another day older and deeper in debt
, together, like they had been practicing that song for years. Then they all laughed again, but it got quiet when I started.
I started dancing the way animals move, the way birds fly up, the way the chinook blew. I danced the way Geronimo danced, the way rattlesnakes move, the way dogs sniff the air. I told my story the way Geronimo told his story that night. I sang the
heya, heya, heya, Sugar Babe song
, the
heya, heya, Geronimo and Haji Baba jumped a freight, joined the circus, shooting the moon
song; the
Holy Ghost got you
song, the
wrestling with an angel
song, the
long-lost friend
song, the
flat-as-a-cookie-sheet
and the
sky-infinity
song. Old Glory.
Oh beautiful for spacious skies
.
When I got done, there was no laughter coming out of the Studebaker. There were no sounds to fill up the space where the sound of my song had been.
Wolf turned around to Mona Lisa and she cracked an egg on the dashboard and peeled it, shells falling into her lap. They all talked to each other in their language, a language Geronimo would know. It sounded like arguing, but Mona Lisa scooted over closer to Wolf and said something real loud. Everybody listened to Mona Lisa and it got quiet again.
Wolf turned back around to me and said,
you can ride with us if you don't mind getting a DWI
. I told Wolf that I didn't know what that was, a DWI.
Drunk with Indians
, he said, and then the Studebaker started bouncing up and down again, and it wasn't quiet there
anymore, all of them laughing again. Then Mona Lisa said,
give him a beer
.
Wolf stopped the car at the place where the main highway to town meets with the Portneuf River to let me out. They were going on to Fort Hall.
I stood there on the flat dusty road, the moon waning and the dome above me poked with star-holes. I watched until the Studebaker's taillights dipped into the dark sky. Then I followed the river downstream. I ran into some bats, so I started walking alongside the river, out away from the trees. When I got to where the river dog-legs, by my secret place in the stand of the twenty-two cottonwood trees, I saw that somebody had cut down my swing.
I decided to go home.
The Oldsmobile wasn't there and the house was dark. I walked inside. No one was there and some things were missing: my mother's rosary, her prayer book, her lipstick, and her high heels with the holes in the toes, my father's Old Spice, the toothbrushes, the percolator, and the radio. There was some peach pie in the refrigerator and milk gone sour, but no Black Velvet whiskey bottles. Everything elseâthe davenport and the coffee table, my father's chair, the beds, and the kitchen table and chairsâwas all there. The geranium in the window was dead and things weren't cleaned up so much like usual.
I thought for a minute that I might still be dreaming. Everything seemed underwater, like when I was down in the bottom of that pool with the picture of that woman Sugar Babe. I went through the hallway and touched all the butterflies and all the dice. Then I went into the bathroom and looked into the medicine-cabinet mirror and watched myself touch my face, then touch my reflection in the mirror. Everything felt real, or seemed real enough, and I thought back to that magician guy, Mr. Energy, and all he'd said.
In the yard, there wasn't any tractor or hay baler or drain grill, or disc and harrows parked around. I stopped at the saddle
room door and tried the knob. It was still locked. I couldn't see in, but I could tell that things were the same in there. By the smell and by the way the floor was swept clean, I knew.