Fashionably Dead Down Under (25 page)

“Jesus, that’s profound,” I muttered.

“Actually, he is.” Satan nodded in
agreement.

“Wait. What?” I was completely confused.

“Your cousin, Jesus. He’s quite profound. I
like him. Now his father is another story . . . sanctimonious
shit.”

“You have a deal,” Ethan said quietly. “We
will return your Sword and then we will leave. Forever.”

“Astrid?” Satan stared at me.

“Yes. Yes, you have a deal.”

He stood and moved to leave the room. “Oh,
there is one more little thing.”

Of course there was.

“We need to return the Sword to its home
before my brother God graces Hell with his pansy ass for
lunch.”

“And that would be when?” I asked, hoping he
wouldn’t say today.

“In three days on the lunar eclipse,” he
replied. “The son of a bitch will be here in three days.”

“We have three days to save the world. It
sounds like the plot of a cheesy action flick,” I groaned and
flopped down on the couch in our little guesthouse.

“I think it’s a test,” Ethan mused.

“A test?” I sat up and watched him move
around the room. The fluidity of his movement and his ass in his
jeans made me want to jump him, but there was no time for nookie
right now.

“For you,” he said. “Satan is testing you for
some reason.”

“Do you think the Sword of Death hasn’t
really gone missing?”

He sat down next to me and absently played
with my red locks. “I think things are happening to you here and he
is testing your ability. I do believe someone has taken the Sword,
but it’s gone missing before and he got it back. I find it
interesting that he wants you to do it.”

“Us,” I corrected him.

“No, I’m incidental to him. His real interest
is in you and I don’t like it.”

“Well, I’m not particularly happy about it
either.”

“Come here,” he said.

I crawled onto his lap and looked at the man
who was so much more to me than a mate. Gently, I ran my fingers
over his perfect lips. Our connection went beyond sexual; it was
elemental—necessary. Staring at him, I forgot where I ended and he
began. Unsure what higher power even meant anymore, I instead
thanked the stars, the sun and the moon for giving him to me.

“I love you, my Vampyre,” I whispered as I
lay my head in the crook of his neck.

“And I you,” he said.

“Where do we even start to look?” I murmured
as I snuggled closer.

“There are several family functions over the
next few days,” General George bellowed from the doorway.

“Oh my God,” I shrieked, flying off Ethan and
the couch, causing me to trip over the coffee table. “Does anybody
in Hell knock?”

“Door was open,” he informed me.

“No,” I told him. “It wasn’t.”

His eyebrows flapped in laughter. “Fine. I
picked it,” he conceded. “But we have work to do.”

“We?”

“Why of course, dear child. You didn’t think
our great ruler would send you into the trenches blind. Did you?”
He moseyed into the living room and headed for the kitchen. “You
have anything to eat here?”

“No clue,” I muttered and watched him
negotiate the room with amazing grace for such a huge monster. “I
don’t eat food. Is Bambi here?”

“No, she went to Nirvana to make sure Mother
Nature hasn’t killed your grandfather.”

“Is that a possibility?” I asked,
horrified.

“No.” He chuckled. “But she has been known to
incapacitate him for a few months due to her . . . uh,
creativity.”

“TMI.” I shook my head and followed him to
the kitchen. “What do you want?”

“Veggies, fruit or ice cream,” he said,
making himself comfortable.

“You really don’t eat meat?” I asked as I
searched the fridge.

“No, clogs the arteries.”

I found some celery and oranges. “But you’re
immortal, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but no reason to muck up the system,”
he said as he shoved three oranges into his large mouth, peel and
all.

“Come to think of it, Satan had no meat on
his table this morning either,” Ethan said, watching in fascination
as the General threw back six more oranges and three bunches of
celery at the same time.

“We think alike on many matters,” the General
explained.

I was amazed that he ate with his mouth and
spoke through his eyebrows, but thought it might be rude to point
it out. “Can he speak to you like we can?” I asked as I handed him
some apples I found on the counter.

“Thank you, dear. And yes, of course he can
speak with me. He created me, in a way.”

“You gonna expand on that?” I asked and
contemplated licking an apple just to see if it tasted like
butt.

“Nope.” He grinned with both his brows and
his full mouth.

“Figures. So, family functions?”

He finished chewing, swallowed and graced us
with a burp to end all burps. Thankfully it smelled like brownies.
“Yes, there will be a formal dinner this evening. Tomorrow there
will be a fight exhibition followed by a concert by a Journey cover
band. And of course on the day of lunar eclipse there will be the
lunch with God.”

He had almost rendered me speechless with the
Journey cover band thing, but the fight exhibition and the
impending lunar eclipse were more alarming. “What kind of
fighting?”

“Hand to hand. No magic,” he said.

“That sounds interesting,” Ethan chimed
in.

“Nope,” I told him, moving on to the next
item on my agenda. “The lunar eclipse . . . ”

“Yes, dear?” George replied.

“That’s significant, isn’t it?” I said. “It’s
when the Sword of Death can be used to kill a True Immortal.
Right?”

“Yes.”

“Does your master have nefarious plans for
his brother? Is that why he’s given me three days to find the damn
thing?” I was mad. Satan was a douche and I was done. I refused to
be an accessory to offing God.

“My goodness, what an imagination you have!”
The General laughed heartily. “Satan and God are not the closest of
siblings, but neither one would kill the other. Ever. It would
upset the balance more than the Sword being missing. Plus, they’d
have to answer to Mother Nature.” George shuddered and grunted in
terror.

I considered what he said, but I wasn’t sure
who to trust anymore. I adored George, but he did work for
Satan.

“
Sometimes you have to go with your
gut
,” Ethan said.

“
What if my gut is wrong
?” I asked.
“
There’s kind of a lot riding here
.”

“
True. How about go with your heart
instead of your gut
,” he suggested.

“
Shit
,” I muttered and he grinned.

My heart said to trust George. This entire
thing would be a little easier to swallow if the fate of the world
wasn’t resting on it. A tiny flutter in my stomach made me catch my
breath. Our baby was letting me know I was correct. Holy Heaven and
Hell, what was I giving birth to? Would he even need me? He was so
much wiser than me already. I cupped my slightly rounded belly with
my hands and gently rubbed. The warm feeling of my son’s
contentment washed away my fear of inadequacy. He needed me as much
as I needed him.

“Okay,” I told George. “I believe you. Let’s
go get this shit done.”

“Patience, my child. I made a promise to you
and I intend to keep it.” George shook his bulbous head sadly.

“What promise?” Ethan asked.

George said nothing, but he didn’t have to. I
remembered.

“He said he would take me to my mother.”

“No,” Ethan said adamantly. “Absolutely
not.”

I put my hand on his arm. “Ethan, this is not
for you to decide. I need to see her once more. Please
understand.”

Ethan paced the small kitchen in frustration
and ran his hands through his hair. “Can her mother hurt her?” he
demanded of George.

“Not physically,” he answered.

“I don’t like this, Astrid,” he said. He
leaned back on the counter and shoved his hands in his pockets. “If
you go I will go with you.”

He had seen most of me, but he hadn’t seen
the pathetic child who still longed for her mother’s love. I wasn’t
sure I could take him knowing.

“I have seen her. I’ve seen her in your mind
and that’s why I don’t want you to put yourself through that
again,” he said quietly, staring at the ceiling. “I love you—all of
you. The little girl inside you breaks my heart. If you go . . . I
will go with you. Period.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “Okay.”

“Put your hands on my back,” the General
instructed. “This will not hurt . . . much.”

***

General George was right. It was far less
violent than my last trip to the Basement. Ethan looked a bit
shaken up, but he wanted to come. Oh crap. I glanced down at my
outfit and cringed. I should have changed into a dress before
seeing my mother. While I loved the vintage jeans, combat boots and
fitted black t-shirt I wore, I knew she would not find me up to
snuff. Although I didn’t even think a designer ball gown would help
much in this instance.

I recognized where we were. It was the same
place I’d ended the Demons. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel sick . . .
I actually felt peace with what I had done.

“Are you ready?” George asked.

“No, but that doesn’t matter.” I stepped
toward the crevasse. The lights wailed and bounced. “How do I find
her?”

“Call to her,” he said.

Could it be that easy? Would she just be a
light or would she look like my mother? I hoped if she looked
human, she wouldn’t be on fire. Fuck, this wasn’t a good idea.

“If you’ve changed your mind we could . . .
”

“No.” I cut George off and took two steps
closer to the flames. I was amazed that the heat of the blazing
fire didn’t affect me. I searched for a happy memory of my mother
from the past and couldn’t find one. Was I a classic abuse victim
coming back for more? Maybe, but I wanted one last try to make her
hear me. I didn’t need her love anymore, but I wanted her to know I
loved her—as damaged as she was.

“Astrid,” Ethan called from behind me.

My hand flew up to stop him. This was my
battle and mine alone. “Mother?”

Nothing.

“Mother?” I called again. Wait. What in the
hell was I thinking? She didn’t like being my mother. In life she
rarely let me call her mother. She didn’t want people to think she
was old . . . “Petra, it’s me—your daughter. Astrid.”

The fire grew wilder and I was tempted to
step back, but I held my ground. I was certain it couldn’t hurt me.
The soul lights screeched and moaned and then went silent. It was
so abrupt, I gasped . . . and then she appeared. Her beauty was
undiminished, but bright orange burning embers clung to her. She
was completely naked, but the only part of her that wasn’t blurred
with red haze was her face. She twisted and writhed as if in pain,
but she smiled. Was she happy to see me? My heart lodged in my
throat.

“Hi,” I whispered.

She stared and said nothing. I wasn’t sure
she knew who I was. The other souls darted around her, but stayed
silent.

“What do you want?” she demanded in a voice
tinged with insanity.

That was an excellent question. Now that I
faced her, I was no longer sure.

“I wanted to see you . . . to see if you were
all right.” My voice sounded child-like and timid. I gouged my
nails into my thighs to punish myself for still needing her to want
me.

“How do you think I am?” she hissed. “I was
meant to lead—to rule. He promised me,” she screamed. Her body
became clearer and I realized she was covered in profusely bleeding
cuts. I put my hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t cry out. Her
formerly perfect outside was now as damaged as her inside.

“Have you seen him?” she asked with
excitement. “I’ve been waiting for him to take me out of here, but
he’s late.”

“No,” I said, trying to swallow back tears.
“I haven’t seen him.”

“He’ll come back and this time I’ll behave.
I’ll kill everyone he wants me to and I will behave,” she promised.
She panted like a dog and swatted at the soul lights. “Leave me,”
she shouted at the flickering souls. “I’m talking to a woman who
knows my lover. She will help me escape.”

“Do you know who I am?”

She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head.
“Of course—you’re the one I should have killed when you were born.
My lover wanted me to, but there was an old woman who kept saving
you. I killed that bitch.” My mother’s laughter rang in my ears and
my stomach churned. My nana had saved me in so many ways that I
never even knew. The woman who floated before me was an
abomination. She was pathetic and evil.

“I have to go,” I muttered and turned to
leave.

“Wait,” she begged. “I could be your friend
if you help me get out of here. We could find my lover and we could
rule the world. It would be so much fun. He will beat you and rape
you, but after a while you won’t mind. If you close your eyes you
can float to another place with ponies and fireflies. I promise to
take my share. I always did my share. Will you help me?”

Oh my God. I dropped to my knees and my body
curled in on itself as I tried to hold back the bile in my throat.
Anger and a feeling of helplessness consumed me. I wanted to tear
at my own skin. Was she a victim too? Had my father destroyed her
long before she was my mother? I knew she’d been reincarnated many
times. She went back to my father each life and they built an army
to destroy the world, but had it been his idea or hers?

Tears stung my eyes and I realized she wasn’t
capable of love. It had been beaten out of her many lifetimes
before she gave birth to me. Forgiveness was no longer difficult.
She was so broken it was almost unfathomable. I knew without a
doubt what I was going to do.

I glanced back at George and Ethan who stood
quietly and watched. Every muscle in my mate’s body was tense and
the pain I saw in his eyes made me love him even more. He was going
to be a beautiful father and I was going to be a beautiful mother.
I just had one more thing to do here.