Fat Chances (2 page)

Sweat poured off my body as I pushed myself to keep up with the music. A couple of times Cory danced his way toward the back of the line, encouraging everyone to “Move those muscles! Feel the burn!” I kept my eyes trained on the floor, avoiding his eye contact. At one point, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt his cool hand touch my shoulder. I turned to see him smiling at me from ear to ear, showing off his insanely white teeth. I tried to smile, but I knew it probably ended up looking more like a frown.

“Okay, ladies, let’s take a ten minute break,” he spoke evenly after what felt like an eternity. I was shocked that he wasn’t short of breath, when I, on the other hand, was panting like a dog in the desert. I felt like I was going to pass out as I became lightheaded. I leaned against the wall to steady myself, wiping the sweat off my forehead. My hair was a sopping mess and so was my shirt. I looked at Molly and she was sweating, too, but not as much as I was. I bent down to grab my water bottle when a hand snatched it from under me.

“Here you go,” Cory said in a polite tone then handed me my water bottle.

“Thanks,” I wheezed. I had to tilt my head back to look into his dark eyes.

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked as his eyebrows pulled together, concerned.

“Uh … yeah … I’m just not used to this kind of exercis ….”

“I begged her to come with me when I first started coming here,” Molly interrupted, then leaned against Cory, trying to get him to look at her.

“Excuse me, but where’s the bathroom?” I asked, glancing at the two of them. Molly pointed to the opposite end of the large gymnasium, never taking her eyes off Cory.

“Over there in that corner,” Cory said in a low tone, then gave me a strange look as I turned around and grabbed my towel and quickly walked toward the far corner of the room. All of the other ladies were standing around talking and drinking from their water bottles. Some of them were gazing at Cory. Now I understood why so many women came here to exercise. It wasn’t to get in shape, but to ogle over the hot Zumba instructor.

I walked over to the mirror and gasped in horror. I knew that my face was flushed with sweat, but not like this. It was beat red, like I was ready to have a heat stroke. I quickly splashed cold water on my face, trying to cool myself down, knowing I couldn’t go back out there, not when my face looked like a ripe tomato. Tears pricked my eyes as I sat down in one of the stalls to go to the bathroom. I hated Molly and I hated myself even more for agreeing to come here. The music started up again, just as I was pulling up my capris. I needed to get out of here, so I walked to the other end of the bathroom to see if there was another exit.
No! Shit!
The only way that I could leave here was to walk back out into the gymnasium where everyone was exercising again. Where Cory would see my tomato face again.

I stood against the wall, beside the bathroom door and peeked to see if anyone was looking. The exit door was about fifteen feet away. My heart beat erratically as I tried to think of a way to escape, but with this fat body, I knew I wasn’t going to go unnoticed. Either way, I was going to look like a fool running through the gym.

I could hear Cory yelling something over the loud music, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall, contemplating my great escape.

“Annie! Are you okay?” I gasped when I heard Cory’s voice just outside the door. I quickly took a few steps back so that he wouldn’t see me standing just inside the door.

Clearing my throat, I replied, “Uh … yeah, I’m just a little lightheaded.” I spoke truthfully. I
was
feeling lightheaded … earlier.

I opened my eyes and nearly choked when I saw him standing before me. Then he grabbed my shoulders, looking down at me.

“You’re not sick are you? Do you feel like you’re going to pass out?” he asked, then grabbed my arm and placed his fingers over my wrist to check my pulse with worry in his dark eyes.

“Uh … no … I just need to cool down,” I whispered, then bowed my head down to stare at the floor, not wanting him to see my sweaty, red face. Suddenly, it felt like shock waves ripping through my body when he gently placed his fingers under my chin and lifted my head so that I had to look at him. Then he stared into my eyes for a moment, as if he was examining them. I could barely breathe as I kept my back tight against the cold brick wall.

“Come with me,” he ordered, and before I could object, he quickly grabbed my towel and water bottle and pulled me alongside him. We both walked quickly out of the restroom toward the exit doors and I sighed in relief when we walked outside. The cold winter air felt like heaven against my overheated body.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard tonight,” he apologized.

I sucked in a sharp breath. “What? No! It’s not your fault that I’m not in good enough physical shape to handle a little Zumba class. In case you haven’t noticed … I’m fat. Fat girls tend to get out of breath easier than skinny girls,” I admitted sheepishly.
Why the hell did I just say that?
I could feel my cheeks grow flush from embarrassment.

“Annie, you’re not fat, just pleasingly plump,” he said, flashing another gorgeous smile.

“Oh, Shut up!”
I hated this guy. One minute he seemed genuinely sweet and the next minute he would say something so fricking stupid that it pissed me off.

“What? What did I say?” he asked, bewildered.

“Do you need glasses? You worry about your muscles and your tan so that you look good for the ladies, but you don’t take care of your eyes. Go get an eye exam, will you?” I snapped, grabbing my towel and bottle from his hands, then walked toward my truck when I felt his hand on my arm. I turned around to look up at him.

“What?” I snapped. He gazed at me for a long moment, not saying a word.

“What the hell is your probl …” Before I could finish my sentence, his warm lips were covering mine. I was so befuddled, so shocked by his action that I accidently dropped my towel and water bottle in a mud puddle.

A moment later, we both gasped for air when he pulled his lips away from mine. I was speechless for a moment, not knowing what to make of this, my mind a pile of mush. I didn’t know if I should have been pissed or blown away or both. Leaving my towel and water bottle on the ground, I quickly turned and walked away, too confused to react any other way.

“Annie, wait!” Cory yelled, but I just kept walking toward my truck. I was numb. Or maybe I was in shock. Who the hell knows
?
Then I heard his feet splashing in the puddles as he came up quickly behind me. He stopped in front of me just as I was about to pull on the door handle of my truck.

“Annie, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened back there,” he said sympathetically.

“Yeah, whatever! You like screwing with girls’ minds, don’t you? You’ve probably kissed every girl in there,” I accused, pointing toward the building.

“No, you’re wrong. I’m not like that at all. Annie, you’re a beautiful girl and … and … I don’t know what came over me. To be honest, I want to kiss you again … and again,” Cory replied with a sincere look in his eyes.

I could feel my cheeks burning. “Well that’s not going to happen. You’d better get inside. Your fan club is probably wondering what happened to you,” I snapped. I don’t know why I was being so mean to him. Nothing was making sense to me. I was pissed, yet I felt humiliated and flattered at the same time.
Damn!

“Uh … yeah … you’re probably right,” Cory said, then turned to run toward the building, but then he stopped and ran back, and in one swift move, he wrapped his solid, muscular arms around my waist and bent down to kiss me. I struggled for a moment—a feeble attempt—but then I found myself standing on my toes so I could reach my arms around his neck.
DAMN! Why did I have to be so short?
  But he bent down lower so I could reach around his neck, and my heart fluttered as we explored each other’s lips with our tongues.
Gosh! He was a good kisser.

Soon, Cory slowly peeled his body away from mine as we both gasped for air. Then he bent down slowly and gently brushed his lips across my cheek once more, then moved to my earlobe, sending shivers up my spine. Then just like that, he turned and walked away. But as I watched him walk away, I realized that I knew nothing about him. How old was he? What was his last name? Where did he live? And I needed to know these things if I was going to open my heart up to him.

When I climbed into the truck, my mind was a foggy haze. My lips were still tingling from Cory’s kisses and parts of my skin were still hot where he had touched me. I sat in my seat, staring blankly at a silver Mustang parked in front of me. And like a broken record, my mind played over and over the kisses we shared.
Why? Why did he kiss me? Not once, but twice?
I shivered, then remembered that I left my jacket in the gym. I sighed in defeat and leaned over and opened the glove compartment, searching for the spare key that Molly and I kept hidden in case of an emergency.

It took two tries for the truck to turn over. When the engine was warm, I turned on the heat. Finally, after a few minutes, the cab warmed up. I glanced over at the tan building, just as the side door flew open and the women from the Zumba class walked from the building in a steady line. I noticed that many of them were younger, already in great shape. You know the type, the blonde, tanned skinny women who wore tight spandex and tiny tank tops. I was certain that they only came to the classes to show off their perfect bodies in front of Cory hoping to get his attention.

But then I noticed a few older, heavy set women strolling out, as well. I could see their reason for being here. Maybe they were trying to lose the extra weight they had gained from carrying their children for nine months. But
I
didn’t have an excuse, although I sometimes wished I
was
pregnant just so that I had an excuse for being fat. I knew I couldn’t keep blaming it on my family’s genes. Only I was to blame for the spare tire that I carried around my waist. It was my bad eating habits and lack of exercise that gave me my extra rolls. Of course, eating 3 bags of Twizzlers a week didn’t help either. I knew I needed to change and I have tried, but eventually I would give up and fall back into my same old routine of sitting on the couch every night eating Cappuccino Crunch ice cream and watching Dr. House reruns.

“Where the hell were you?” Molly snapped, as she crawled into the driver’s seat, throwing her Twilight bag on the floor beside my feet. I saw that she had grabbed my jacket, too.

“I wasn’t feeling well, so I came out here,” I replied truthfully. My heart was racing. I was so excited about my first kiss, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell her or not. In truth, I was slightly embarrassed too. Molly was just fourteen when she got her first kiss. It was the neighbor boy from down the street.
What was his name … Ron?
And yet, here I was … eighteen before a boy finally kiss me. Well, not a boy, but a man. And what surprised me even more was that it was Cory, the hot Zumba instructor, whom I just met and knew absolutely nothing about. My mind raced with a thousand different questions.
What if he’s a player? What if he was just taking advantage of me because I’m fat and naive? Naive? GAH!
I could feel my face burning with embarrassment at the very thought of it.

“Annie, guess what?” Molly’s bitter tone suddenly turned sweet with excitement. I sighed heavily, before turning to face her.

“What?” I asked, disgusted. I twirled my hair through my fingers as I thought about Cory’s kiss and the possible reason behind it.

“I gave Cory my cell phone number,” She squealed.
What?
I could feel my heart pulling away from my chest and dropping to the pit my stomach. “And guess what else? He asked me for my home number. Can you believe it? Of all those women in the exercise class, he wanted my home phone number!” she squealed with delight as she bounced in her seat. My mouth dropped open as I stared at her. I was dumbfounded. Appalled! Pissed!
And
sick to my stomach.
How could I be so stupid?

I forced a fake smile and told her that I was happy for her. I turned around so that my back was facing her. I didn’t dare let her see the tears that were clouding my eyes.

The ten minute drive home was hell. All Molly could talk about was Cory this and Cory that. When we finally pulled into the driveway, I had my foot out the door before she even had the truck in park. I got out and slammed the door so hard that it rattled the windows.

“Geesh, what’s wrong with you?” Molly asked as she followed me up the steps to the front porch. I clenched my teeth and balled my hands into a fist then turned around to face her.

“Don’t ever ask me to go to Zumba class with you again!”
I screamed, then stomped into the house. I kicked off my wet sneakers and threw them at the pile of shoes that were scattered by the door, then stomped upstairs to my bedroom. My bed made a loud thud when I threw myself on it and sobbed. I hated Cory. I hated boys. I hated everyone. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, fresh new tears emerged, but I quickly wiped them away and forced myself out of bed. I tried to walk quietly to the bathroom, but it was impossible. My heavy footsteps made the wooden floor creak beneath me.

Images of Cory flashed through my mind as I stood under the hot shower, lathering my wash cloth with soap. I scrubbed my body vigorously, wishing that I could wash away all my fat. I stuck my face under the hot water and rubbed Cory’s kiss from my lips and face. I wanted to be rid of him and the memory of his lips and hands touching me. After brushing my teeth three times, I finally went back to my room and sat on the edge of my bed. I glanced at my alarm clock and saw that I still had an hour before everyone woke up.

Still
feeling mentally exhausted, I laid down on my bed and grabbed one of the books from my nightstand
. UGH!
It was a romance novel. Damn it! All my books were romance novels. I didn’t want to read anything that had to do with romance or two lovers kissing and caressing each other in all the right places. I threw the books across the room then buried my face into my pillow. 

The knock on the door jolted me awake. “Annie, can I come in?” my mother asked. I groaned then rolled over to sit up on the bed. The morning sunlight was peeking through my window.

“Yeah, come on in,” I replied, my voice raspy from sleep. After waking up from the hot shower, I was surprised that I had fallen back to sleep. Mom peeked her head through the door for a second then stepped in.

“Good morning,” I smiled weakly. My Mom, Kathy Powers, was a big, beautiful woman who carried herself well, and was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. She kept her dark brown hair with blonde highlights, short and stylish. Her dark, thick eyelashes flattered her dark brown eyes, reminding me of huge Hershey kisses. Her lips were naturally plump and pink and her long acrylic nails were always flashy and vibrant. Mom was also a professional nail technician, who had her own little shop here at home.

She came and sat down beside me, giving me one of her worried, motherly looks.

“Annie, is everything okay? You didn’t come downstairs last night to eat dinner.” She asked, speaking in a soft soothing tone. I stared at her zebra pattern nails. I knew that in a few days they would be different, maybe something bright, like hot pink hearts or yellow smiley faces. She would always beg me to let her do my nails, but I always refused. I thought it was silly wearing fake, flashy nails that reminded me of hookers, but I didn’t dare tell her that. I didn’t want to upset her. Although the next time she asked I might take her up on it. I could use those long nails to gouge out the eyes of anybody who pisses me off. Like Cory or Molly.

“I’m sorry. I had a bad stomach ache last night,” I lied. I felt horrible lying to her, but I really didn’t want to get into the details of telling her about my first kiss and that the only reason he kissed me was because I was fat.

“Oh baby, how are you feeling now?” she asked, rubbing my forehead with the back of her hand to see if I was running a fever. I felt like shit. That’s what I wanted to say. I wanted to run away. I wanted to move to Maryland today and say the hell with my school. I wanted her to go down to the center and strangle Cory. I wanted a lot of things, but I kept my mouth shut.

“Better,” I lied. I stood up from the bed and walked over to the mirror on my dresser. I grabbed the comb and lightly ran it through my hair.

“Good, I’m glad. Would you like me to make you an omelet before you go to school? I already have everything set out. Wayne wants one too.” She smiled then stood up and walked to the door.

“No thanks. My stomach still feels a little queasy. I don’t want to take any chances on making it worse.” It was the truth. Images of Cory kissing me were making my stomach churn.

I waited until it was time to leave for school to go down stairs. Molly was standing by the door, waiting for me. She never said a word, which was good because I really wasn’t in the mood to hear about Cory or the stupid ten pounds that she had lost … again.

                                                                                    ***

Natalee never showed up for school the next day. She texted me and said that she wasn’t feeling well. I knew that I should have stayed home, too. Without having Nat to talk to, the day seemed to drag on forever. I hated school. Well, not school in general, just the people that occupied it. School to most of the students here at Penfield High was more of a social event. You were either popular because your parents were considered high society or you were a sports freak. I was neither, to say the least.

“I’m so glad that we got out of social studies today,” Molly sighed with relief. We were supposed to turn in our history papers today, but the school decided to hold an assembly. I personally would have liked to see Molly suffer a failing grade than sit in the dark auditorium smelling of musky seats and dusty floors. It made my eyes and nose water just thinking about it.

We all lined up to walk down the halls toward the auditorium. Some of the boys standing behind me were goofing off, seeing who could punch each other the hardest in the arm. Kenny, a tall skinny kid with dirty blond hair and teeth that reminded me of Bucky beaver, was punching everyone and laughing. Fred, who was tall, husky and the linebacker on the football team, turned around and told them to knock it off before someone got hurt. The group of boys just laughed at him like he had said a funny joke. As we continued to walk down the halls, I heard them pushing and shoving each other behind me, their laughter grew louder, echoing throughout
the hall.

The closer we got to the auditorium, the rowdier they got. I just kept my back to them, ignoring them. Then it happened. All I heard was, “Kenny, look out!” The sound was maddening, like two
boulders colliding.

It all happened in slow motion as I found myself falling toward the ground, landing hard on both knees.
“UGH!”
I yelled when something popped in my right knee. Pain instantly shot from my knee down to my toes. I thought I was going to pass out as I lay there on the floor with my eyes closed, waiting for the nausea to subside. A few of my classmates snickered and laughed.

“Annie, are you alright?” Fred asked as he leaned down to help me up. I slowly opened my eyes. Everyone was standing around me in a circle, gawking at me, like I was the fat lady at a freak show.

“I think so,” I groaned. Fred held out his hand, but I hesitated for a moment, before reaching out to him. Even with his tall husky build, he struggled for a moment to pull me up from the floor. 

“Thank you,” I said sheepishly, my face red with embarrassment.

“Sure, no problem,” He choked then turned around to get back in line, acting like nothing had happened. I felt humiliated, knowing that this was going to be the hot topic of conversation for the rest of the day.
Did you see fat Annie crash to the floor? I thought the floor was going to cave in. I thought Fred was going give himself a hernia lifting her up off the floor.
I could hear them talking now as tears flooded my eyes.

I limped the rest of the way toward the auditorium. Through my jeans, I could feel my knee swelling as it continued to throb.
“Ugh!”
I moaned when I finally took a seat in the front row. I sat in front so no one could see the tears trickling down my cheeks.

Molly
sat behind me—her mouth flapping like a duck’s ass—about Cory and how excited she was, waiting for him to call her. I closed my eyes and blew out a jagged sigh.
I hate my life
. Finally, after about ten minutes the auditorium grew quiet when the principal walked out on stage.

Mr. Stiles was an educated man and he reminded us of that every day, when saying the morning announcements. “Today’s another great day for learning. Do your homework and study hard and who knows … one of you students could be the next Einstein.” Each day he would say a different name, like Robert Frost or Neil Armstrong. It got to the point where my classmates were making bets. They would guess which name he was going to say that morning and if you got it right then you got to pick someone to do your homework. I, of course, never participated in their juvenile games.

I stared at Mr. Stiles’ bald head and black rimmed glasses as he continued to ramble on about how important education was. Don’t get me wrong, education was important to me, too. I’ve always achieved a grade point average of 3.5, but sitting here in the musky smelling auditorium with my throbbing knee, I really didn’t care about education or anything else except going home and sitting on the couch with an ice pack and maybe a bowl of ice cream. Ice cream sometimes made me feel better.