Authors: Tammy Blackwell
“
You’re creeping me
out.”
When he looked back up, his face was
serious. It’s not like I’d never seen him serious before. It’s not
his default frame of mind, but it’s happened. It’s just that
usually his seriousness came with a large helping of righteous
indignation. Not so much this time. This time, he looked more
exhausted than angry. “You think I’m going to hurt her.”
“
I know you are.” Maybe I
shouldn’t have said it, but it was the truth. And my new policy was
all truth, all the time.
“
You used to have more
faith in me than this. What happened?”
“
You lied to me. You were a
Shifter, and you never told me.” And really, this was the crux of
our problems. Everything that had gone wrong between us over the
past year came back to this single point.
“
That isn’t lying. I never
said, ‘Hey, Scout, I’m
not
a Shifter.’”
I sank onto his abandoned spot on the couch.
“But you didn’t tell me you were. You didn’t trust me then, so I
can’t trust you now. Not after everything.”
Jase clenched his jaw, preparing for an
argument. I lay back on the pillows, suddenly too exhausted to keep
my head up.
“
It was an act. An act,
Scout. I would have never done that to you, and I’m still more than
a little pissed you think I would.”
He didn’t sound pissed. He sounded sad, and
I couldn’t handle it.
“
I don’t want to talk about
it anymore.”
“
We haven’t talked about it
yet!”
I threw an arm over my eyes. God, I really
was tired. After a few minutes of silence I felt my muscles
relaxing as my mind started to drift…
“
You’re not fooling
me.”
I made a conscious effort to keep my breaths
slow and deep.
“
Scout, we need to talk
about this. Now. Talley and I have to go back to Lexington
tomorrow, and I don’t know when we’ll see each other again. I’m not
leaving it like this.”
“
You know,” I said, still
refusing to open my eyes, “if you would have asked, I would have
said yes.”
“
Asked what?”
“
To go along with Liam’s
plan.” I couldn’t decide if I was hurt or angry. Probably both. It
seems that true anger is rooted in pain. “I would have gone along
with it. Heck, if it would have helped, I would have turned myself
into the Alphas. The truth of the matter is you didn’t trust
me,
yet again
.” I
finally opened my eyes. “How can you blame me for not trusting you
when you obviously have never trusted me.”
Jase’s jaw tightened again, but before he
could say anything, Talley stirred beside him. “Shhhhh…” she
muttered, still about ninety percent asleep. “It’s okay. Shhh…”
Jase once again brushed her hair back from her face and then leaned
down to kiss her temple. Something passed between them, I could see
it on his face, and I was forced to re-evaluate my entire stance on
this new relationship. Because what I saw in that moment wasn’t the
popular jock who changed girlfriends with the same frequency as a
Hollywood heartthrob. Actually, I wasn’t completely sure who he was
anymore, and maybe that was the problem. Maybe I never actually
knew him.
“
I’ve made some bad
decisions,” he said when he looked back up. “I’m the first to admit
it. But I’ve always done it to protect you.”
“
Did it ever occur to you I
don’t need protecting?”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It
did. Around the same time you took down the Alpha Pack’s elite
while in handcuffs.”
Travis’s face flashed in my head, abruptly
killing any pride I might have felt.
I rolled onto my side to face him. “Are you
really fully on board with these… rebels or whatever?”
“
Yes,” he answered without
hesitation. “And it’s ‘Jedi’.”
“
Seriously?”
This time his smile was genuine, lighting up
his entire face. “No, but it should be.”
“
I suppose you’re the Luke
Skywalker of this Jedi rebellion?”
“
Don’t be ridiculous. I’m
the Han; she’s the Leia,” he said, indicating Talley with a nod of
the head, “and you’re the Luke.”
“
Liam and
Charlie?”
“
Yoda and Chewy,
obviously.”
“
Sorry, but no. If I’m the
Luke, then you have to be the Leia and Talley the Han. Charlie can
still be Chewy, but no way is Liam Yoda. Maybe a pre-Dark Side
Anakin?”
Jase cringed. “Really? You’re going to bring
those horrible prequels into this? Are you sure we’re related?”
“
You know, I’m not sure
we’ve really got a Star Wars feel going on here anyway. I’m really
feeling more like a Harry Potter to your Ron Weasley and Hermione
Granger.”
“
Harry Potter? Someone is
awful full of themselves.”
“
And this way Charlie can
be always-loyal and cooler than cool Neville Longbottom, and Liam
gets to be Sirius.”
Jase shook his head. “Sirius dies.”
“
Lupin?”
“
Also dies.”
“
A Weasley
twin?”
“
Liam isn’t that funny, and
Fred dies.”
I searched over the entire
cast of
Harry Potter
. “All the cool people die.”
“
Which is why we should
stick to Star Wars and Jedi. What kind of cool team name would we
get if we went with the wizards? Team Gryffindor?”
“
Or, you know, Order of the
Phoenix.”
“
I think we’re more like
Dumbledore’s Army,” was Talley’s sleepy reply. “Although, we’re
more like Liam’s Army.”
“
You’re awake?”
“
She has been the whole
time. She was just trying to give us some alone time,” Jase said to
me before leaning down to plant another kiss on her cheek. “Yes, it
was a very good try, but you’re not getting anything past me, Tal.
I’m way too clever for you.”
“
It’s a good thing I’ve
gotten used to your arrogance over the years,” she said.
“
You love my
arrogance.”
“
I
tolerate
your arrogance,” she
corrected.
“
Same thing,” he said
before moving his kiss to her lips. It was just a little peck in
the beginning, but then she tilted her head, and the kiss deepened.
It took all of two seconds for me to get very, very
uncomfortable.
“
I’m still sitting here,” I
reminded them, but they kept going. “Like, two feet away from you.”
Still no response. “Seriously, I can hear all your yucky smacking
noises and stuff. I would really appreciate it if you would stop.”
I was going to have to gouge out my eyeballs if they
didn’t.
“
Sorry,” Talley
said,
finally
pulling back. She pressed the back of her hand to her lips,
and even in the darkness of the room I could see both the blush on
her lips and stars in her eyes. “This whole
newly-promised-to-be-mated things is kind of intense. Charlie has
started keeping a water gun by his hospital bed to use on
us.”
Since everyone was fully awake I went ahead
and sat back up. Exhaustion made my body heavy, but if this was the
last time I was going to see my brother and best friend, I wanted
to be awake for it. My foot rested on Talley’s calf, and before she
could wrestle with the ethics of Seeing what was going on with me,
I opened myself up to her.
“
You talked to Liam,” she
said. “Good.”
“
Yeah, he’s considerably
less annoying when he isn’t being all broody and silent. And it’s
kind of nice being caught up on everything for once.” I shot Jase a
look to let him know he still wasn’t completely
forgiven.
“
Give him some slack,”
Talley said, and I wasn’t quite sure if she was talking about Liam
or Jase. Maybe both. Knowing Talley, she meant humans in
general.
I was willing to give Liam some slack,
especially now that I knew what he had been through, but I wasn’t
trusting him to become a regular Chatty Kathy and start sharing on
a regular basis. Knowing this might be my last chance to gather
information from people who really did care about my place in all
of this, I ventured into an area of conversation I was mostly sure
Liam wouldn’t approve.
“
I don’t suppose you guys
are in on The Plan? Like what happens tomorrow, or the day after,
or the month after?”
Talley and Jase shared a look, and then Jase
answered. “Liam is supposed to be training you. I’m not sure of any
particulars as to where you are going or anything, but Toby and the
others are busting their asses off to recruit as many Shifters to
our side as possible before he declares you ready.”
“
Ready for
what?”
Talley’s eyes flicked towards the back porch
where Liam was supposed to be sleeping.
“
He’s out by the barn,” I
said, able to hear him walking around. He had to be as tired as I
was, but I understood. He wasn’t really in a good place emotionally
when I headed in, but it was the kind of thing you had to be in
your own head for a while to get through. I knew. I had been there
myself. “I don’t think he’s actively listening to our
conversation.” Although I went ahead and dropped my voice a few
notches.
She nodded. It seemed more
like a
“Yes, I’m going to go ahead and do
this,”
than
“Good
to know.”
“You’re supposed to Challenge the
Alpha Female.”
“
I can do that?” It seemed
logical, I guess. Although, there was no way in Hades I was going
to become the new Alpha Female. Running an entire race of people
wasn’t really something I am super-qualified for. “Why would I have
to train for that? Not to be too horribly boastful here or
anything, but I’m pretty sure I could take that skank down with one
arm tied behind my back. I’m a Shifter. She’s evil, but a pampered
princess all the same. It’ll take me less than two minutes to have
her bleeding and broken.”
“
But can you kill
her?”
My heart paused dramatically in my chest.
“I’ve killed before.” I could still feel the gun in my hand; see
the shock and then nothingness in Travis’s eyes.
Being more perceptive than normal, Jase
said, “And you can’t think about it without turning green. That was
in self-defense, kill or be killed. Right now could you honestly
issue a Challenge to Sarvarna knowing you’re going to end her
life?”
“
If I had to--”
“
And to claim the Alpha
spot, you would also have to kill Stefan.”
“
He’s in a
coma.”
“
Yes, he is,” Jase said.
“Could you do that? Kill a defenseless man?”
I wasn’t a fan of Stefan by
a long shot - he did lock me in a cage and agree to have me killed
- but I didn’t hate him with quite the same passion as I did
Sarvarna. When it came down to it, he didn’t really want me dead.
He regretted having to do it, but felt it was necessary for the
greater good. Even though I disagreed,
strongly
, I understood. He was sort
of noble in this really screwed up way. It was the kind of screwed
up nobility which would have kept him from attacking someone in a
hospital bed.
No, I couldn’t do that. Not at all.
“
I don’t want to be Alpha.
Can’t we just stage a coup and then have an Alpha
election?”
“
That’s not the way it
works,” Jase said.
“
It can’t work that way,”
Talley added. “Wolves and coyotes need a hierarchy based on
strength. Once you beat the Alphas, you’ll have to face Challenges,
both from within the Alpha Pack and outside. Every Dominant in the
world will see it as a time to make a bid for power. You will have
to fight every day, kill every day, for as long as it takes to
prove you’re the strongest, most capable Shifter.”
“
But I’m not.” And I would
never be prepared for what Talley was talking about. A life of
fighting? Of killing? There was no amount of training Liam could do
to prepare me for that. “Why not Liam? Why doesn’t he Challenge the
Alphas?” I knew he was capable of taking them on, and might even
have the fortitude to keep fighting once the initial battle was
done.
Jase’s mouth set as he slowly gave his a
head a wish-I-knew shake. “I guess he figures there is no need to
fight a war when you can program someone else to do it for
you.”
“
That’s not it,” Talley
said. I could see her wrestling with those morals of hers, but
finally she came down on the side of sharing what she knew despite
the invasion of Liam’s privacy. “He doesn’t feel worthy. He thinks
he’ll fail.”
“
And I’m going to do a
better job?” I snorted out a laugh. “Seriously, Tal? He has to know
this is a suicide mission for me.”
“
No, it’s not!” Jase
practically yelled at the same time Talley said, “You can’t think
that.”
I held up a hand to quiet them. “Listen, I
don’t want to die, and I’m certainly going to do everything in my
power to keep from biting the big one, but you both know I’m not
going to be able to go all River Tam on the Shifters of the world.”
I looked at Talley. “And we both know what you’ve Seen. It doesn’t
look like I’m going to make it past Round One.”