Fated (11 page)

Chapter Sixteen

I wake only a few hours later before the sun has fully risen, and when I look at Austin my heart breaks for him, for us, for this beautiful thing that has broken apart, even if I wanted to make this work and see past what he did do, I’m not even sure exactly now what it is I heard, but even if I wanted to I can’t because he will be leaving soon. I know if I am here when he wakes up it will be harder for both of us, and we will feel the need to explain. I get dressed quickly and close his back door behind me as I decide to walk to the apartment. I let myself cry the whole walk back taking as much time as I need. When I finally make it to the complex I take the elevator up leaning back against with the tears still slowing down my cheeks. When it dings I empty myself out of the car and walk to the door. I close the front door and lean against it as Paige comes running out of her room on the phone.

“She’s here.” She says into the receiver and I can only imagine that she is talking
to Mar on the phone, again with the weird twin ESP, “She’s crying but looks fine, Soph, are you alright?” I look up to her and try to smile and give her thumbs up.

“Physically… yes.” She sighs telling Mar and
then hangs up the phone. “What’s wrong love?”

“He’s moving to New York.” And I let myself fall apart again.

The meeting that morning goes smoothly mostly because Austin isn’t there, they inform us that he is already in New York and will only be back for the party, which is in his honor of making partner. Apparently the deal was in the works before we met, he just didn’t have the nerve to tell me that he was going to be leaving soon. It hurts my heart to think that we were always doomed with an expiration date.

The day of the party is on us and we are hurrying around setting everything up around the facility when I get the first glimpse of him. He walks through the door and looks up to me standing on a ladder and smiles a strained smile at me. He can manage to melt my heart even with a simple, fake smile
. I have to remind myself why I am mad at him, which had managed to resurface the days that we have been apart.

I climb down from
my ladder and walk outside to get some air.

“Soph, are you alright?” I hear Paige come up behind me and ask.

“Yeah, it’s just hard to be in the room with him. He still has that effect on me.”

“I understand,” I fell so ridiculous because I am being this way over a guy that I have only known for three months, but there’s just something. And I feel like I have known him for my entire life.

“I’ll be fine, just give me a minute.” I say as I look out across the beach to the water. She smiles at me and then walks back inside.

“I want you to know,
” I hear the voices talking to one another from the hallways behind me, “As much as I like her I am glad that you two spilt up, I didn’t think you were going to go through with the New York office otherwise.”

“I wasn’t going to.” I hear Austin tell his father, and now I know why he never told me. He was never planning on going.

“You were going to throw everything away for a girl?” His dad says to him.

“She just wasn’t some girl dad. She is the one.”

“Well you are sure giving up on her quickly.”

“I’m not giving up
dad; I’m just giving her what she wants. If we are supposed to be together fate will find a way.”

“
For someone who led a life like you did for so long, you sure seem to all of a sudden believe in fate.”

“I always believed in fate dad. I always wanted that happily ever after. I still want it. I’m still changed and I don’t see myself going back to the way I was.”

“We’ll see about that, the girls in New York are hard to resist.”

“They might be, but they’re not Sophie.” I force myself to sit down before I fall over.

“You’re ridiculous son,” his dad says and I see him flash past the door as he storms away. I watch as Austin follows behind him, but right before he walks completely past he looks at me and presses his lips into a firm line. He knows that I just heard everything that they said.

The party starts at exactly seven and everyone is in attendance. I watch as Jack talks about his son as if he actually likes him. I remember back to the day that I met Jack and remember him not saying a single good thing about his son and my heart goes out for Austin. Everyone claps as they call Austin’s name and he gets up and begins to walk up the stairs to the stage. He stops before he reaches the top and looks around; his eyes landing on me. He shakes his head and turns around completely walking back down the stairs. Excusing himself through the room until he leaves it and I hear the mummers around the room. I look at Paige and she motions for me to go and follow him. I hurry through the room and follow the sounds of closing doors out of the building and I see him walking up to his car.

“Austin, what are you doing?”
I shout at him across a parking lot once again.

“Go back inside, Soph,” he says not even turning around.

“No, you are making partner younger than most people.”

“And
I should be happy about that?” He turns around looking at me.

“Sure, isn’t that every lawyers dream?”

“Sure, if your dream is to be a lawyer,” he pauses and walks closer to me, “You were the one who told me to do what I love.”

“But you can’t go all this way and then back down. What will you do?”

“Why do you care?” he bits out at me.

“Because I do,”
The words are supposed to tell him that I still care for him.

“Then tell me, why did you leave?”

“I heard you talking to Becky on the phone that night.”

“Jesus and you thought I was trying to pull one over on you. Why did
n’t you just fucking talk to me?” I can tell that he is getting really mad. I shrug my shoulders. “You’re unbelievable. I was trying to get her to testify against Joe, and had you actually asked me I would have told you that. Did you even realize that she dropped the fucking charges? Don’t worry, you will still get paid for the event.” He doesn’t even give me time to answer before he jumps into his car and speeds away. Damn him and using my own words against me. I let myself slouch into the parking lot and cry. I don’t watch him leave the parking lot, and leave my life… I’m pretty sure forever.

Chapter Seventeen

Mar tells me a few days later that she talked to Austin’s realtor and that he had decided to stay in New York. I let myself muddle in my own self-pity for too many nights and during the day we are filled with many events, after how well, minus Austin leaving the event that was thrown for him, the event did really well and we managed to get several more lined up.

Two weeks after Austin left
, at an after party for one of the bars that we managed an event for I met Seth, who was the complete opposite from Austin.

Four weeks after Austin left.

My phone rings while I am just finishing my makeup.

“Hey
,” I say into the receiver.

“Hey, are you almost ready?”

“Yeah,” I tell him and hang up. We have been going out for a couple weeks and he was nice, but there was just something about how I couldn’t get over Austin, it was as if he was embedded into my brain. To forever follow me around.

“Are we eating here?” I ask him as we walk inside of the restaurant that Austin and I first ate at together after we first met.

“Yeah, is it alright?” He asks, but I know that he doesn’t really care.

“Fine,” I tell him as the hostess shows us to our seats. I zone off when I look across the room; I see us sitting at the table laughing, I remember calling him out on seducing woman with his sex ballad at home. My heart still aches for him on a daily basis.

“Soph, are you alright?” Seth asks me.

“You know, Seth. I’m sorry but I can’t be here.” I say getting up from the table and hailing
a cab. Seth wasn’t right for me anyways.

“Why don’t we try online dating?” Mar asks me after I pulled up to her house in the cab.

“No way,
they could kill me and wear my skin. Just set me up with someone you know.”

“No way, last time you dated one of my friends he moved away from the city and now I never speak to him especially after he changed his number and never called to give it to
anyone here.”

“I’m sorry, Mar. I know that you two were good friends. I should have listened to you and just
stayed away from him.”

“Egh, it happens. Look lets go out and find someone.”
She suggests.

Two nights later I had a first date with Patrick, a guy that I had met at the bar when I went out with Mar. He was duller sober than he was when I met him buzzed and thought that talking about his job was super interesting… which it might have been if he wasn’t an accountant, and heaven forbid it was tax time, I spent most of the date alternating between wondering if he even had the time to be out with me and thinking up how many different ways I could kill myself with the fork at the table.

He pulls up to Mar’s house and walks me to the door, I didn’t want him to drop me off alone at the apartment especially considering the Paige wasn’t home and was back in Boston at the moment. We walk up to the door.

“Well Sophie, I had a great time tonight.”

“I’m glad,” I’m say making a point to not tell him that I h
ad a good time because I didn’t, but he doesn’t even notice.

“Well what do you say about going out tomorrow?”
He smiles.

“You know, I can’t we actually have an event schedule for tomorrow,” I have ever been more thankful to be working than right at this moment.

“Well, Friday then?” I just shake my head and smile to him walking inside and meeting Mar in the hallways.

“That was a little harsh don’t you think?” she asks.

“What, I didn’t want to lead him on? And if you would have been on the date with me you would completely understand.”

“Alright, so what do you want to do tonight?” I was going to stay at Mar’s house until Paige was back from Boston.

“Let’s go out.” she smiles at me, nodding her head and we walk out just as we were to go to the bar.

I am laughing legitimately for the first time since I went to Boston when someone puts on Faith, and I am taking back to Austin’s house, my heart breaks all over again as I look around hoping that he is here and maybe messing with me to run up to him and throw my arms around his body
- because I am just drunk enough to do so-, but when my eyes land on the jukebox I am almost mortified instead on Austin my eyes fall on Joe.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I mutter and the entire group follows my eyes.

“Soph, isn’t that?” Mar asks me and I nod my head.

“Yeah,”

“What is he doing here?” she asks me.

“I have no idea.” I get up from my chair and walk over to him.

“Hey Soph, didn’t realize that I would run into you here.” I know that he’s lying.

“Sure you didn’t, what do you want Joe?”

“I want you back, Soph. I know that you and that lawyer kid broke up. I was an idiot for believing what Becky wanted to do and the more I got to know you the more I fell in love with you.” I know now that he is full of shit.

“Don’t lie, it’s not becoming. You are here because you have heard that my business is thriving again.”

“No, I really love you, Soph.”

“Bullshit, you can’t sweep me off my feet again with those shit lies. I can see through you this time.”

“No, I’m telling the truth this time, Soph. I want us to work on this and try and make it work, why do you think it didn’t work with the lawyer guy, because we are supposed to be together.” It’s actually the first time that he has made me laugh, and he didn’t even mean to.

“You are full of it, Joe. You’re right about one thing though. It didn’t work out between Austin and
I because of you, but only because you ripped me apart and I couldn’t trust anyone. It was my fault that it didn’t work out, but just because it’s over now doesn’t mean it will be forever.” I think about him and his dad talking before the event and I smile, “If it’s supposed to be, fate will bring us back together.”

“Fate is bullshit, Soph.”

“That’s why it will never work with us Joe; you’re not part of my fairy tale. Please leave.” I smile as I turn back around and walk back up to my friends who have another shot for me.

The next morning I am so hung over that I am still throwing up when I hear a knock on the bedroom and I open the door. Mar’s smiling at me.

“Why are you staring at me like a weirdo.”

“I’m proud of you Soph, for finally standing up to Joe.”

Four weeks after seeing Joe in the bar I stop dating period. I had been dating several guys a week trying to find someone who could replace the hole that Austin left in my heart.

There was Adam, who was bipolar and felt the need to tell me on the first date. The way he told me was weird enough it went something like, “Well, let me pull out my meds and take them so I don
’t end up going crazy on you.” It was a little terrifying for me to be in close proximity to him after that. Especially after he stopped talking for an entire hour and just stared at me. I had him drop me off at Mar’s house.

James, who was
forty-five minutes late, who was stoned, and who ordered a salad at dinner. I’m not sure if it’s just me but when a man orders a salad on a first date it just sends the wrong signal to me that says, “Hey, I lost my balls years ago.”

Mike, who was a recovery alcohol and decided that a great first date would be to take me to an AA meeting, I went to the bathroom five minutes after we got there and never came back, sure it was probably awful of me, but you don’t do something like on a first date.

Jason was a doozy. He picked me up in a suit and I felt so underdressed, which I never do, that I went back upstairs and put on a really nice dress. When I came back downstairs he told me how nice I looked and then opened the car door for me. We had a great conversation when we were waiting on the food and he told me about his cat, which should have probably sent a red flag to me in the first place, but I overlooked it. Once we finished our food he got dessert for both of us and a cocktail. I was delighted even though he ordered it for me at least the date was going alright. We were having a good time, until the check came and he explained to me that he was ‘in between jobs at the moment’ so I needed to pick up the tab. I don’t mind getting dinner but seriously don’t pick the most expensive place and order six courses; I dropped two hundred and fifty dollars on that dinner alone.

Carlos
, I met for coffee one afternoon and I approached him and asked if he was Jose he just looked at me and then proceeded to speak Spanish to me, have I mentioned that I cannot speak Spanish?

Zack,
was nice and he was attractive. Dressed nice enough for going to a mediocre restaurant I didn’t mind because I liked the food enough. We enjoyed one another just talking and laughing, he was funny and I was interested in seeing how things would turn out with him until that is he asked me if I wanted to be his beard. I have yet to return his phone calls.

Joseph took me bowling, which was alright I guess I hadn’t been bowling in years. Everything was going great until he stepped outside to have a ‘cigarette’, left me alone inside for thirty-five minutes and came back smelling like pot. His excuse was that he got hungry and caught up in watching a hockey game in the bar.

Ryan has this Joseph Gordon-Levitt thing going on which I found instantly attractive until he took me to an arcade where he got into a fight with an eleven year old over playing DDR. I slipped out a few moments later and caught a cab home.

When I went out with Matt we didn’t even make it out of the driveway because as he led me to the car, where he had opened the door and I was beyond excited about, he inhaled my hair. I’m pretty sure he sniffed so hard that pieces went up his nostril. I just turned around stunned looking at him and said. “Did you just sniff my hair? Sorry I can’t.” I put my hands up and walked back inside where Mar was dying she was laughing so hard.

David showed some potential, until he looked at me after one beer and said, “Bow chica, bow wow.” I went to the bathroom on that one as well.

Jay was nice and funny. He was the last guy that I dated and things could have progressed with him but some circumstances
came up and we ended up not seeing one another anymore.

Mar would make f
un of me after every date laughing at me and telling me how I was finding faults with every one of them because they were not Austin. I knew that she was slightly right, but I just didn’t want to believe her. I wanted to get over Austin.

The summer is coming up now and I’m feeling great actually. We are working really hard and the business is starting to take off
here.

“Hey Paige, what do you think about looking into opening another branch?” I ask her one morning as we walk into the store front.

“Where at, Boston?”

“Maybe, I’m not sure though
why don’t we look into it?” I tell her walking to my desk and sitting down.

“What about New York.”

“I would love to open one in New York.” I tell her and she smiles at me.

“I know that you would, and not just for having a business in New York.”
She calls me out.

“What are
you talking about?” I play dumb.

“Are you trying to tell me that if you were in New York you wouldn’t try to
find a certain someone?” she asks me, already knowing the answer.

“Well I think that I kind of owe it to try and find him eventually.” I explain to her.

“Well, you have been trying to get a hold of him for months now.” She says trying to make me feel better.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Are you ever going to stop?”

“No, he deserves to know.”

“You’re right about that, how do you think he will take it?” she asks me.

“I’m not sure,” I fumble with my fingers.

I walk into my apartment hours later and sit down at my piano that sits in the corner of my dining room. I have taught myself to play in the last few months. I am happy with how my life is right now, beyond words happy, but I know that when I let myself think too much I know that the only way I will be completely happy is if I can find Austin and tell him how I feel and show him where my life has gone in the last few months. I think that he would be happy. I hope that he would be happy.