FATED (2 page)

On
e

Present day

Frankie

My sudden intake of breath awoke me with a start; both of my hands gripped the armrests. I released my fingers and flexed them over the soft, velvety material. Glancing around quickly, I checked to see if anyone had noticed.

Please, I prayed, don’t let me have been talking out loud. Bella had often told me that I did, when sharing halls at university. With relief I realised my secret was safe, after taking another quick look around me. Everyone was either asleep or very much occupied with their own business. Thank God. I expelled a very loud sigh.

My pulse was still preposterously fast, banging and throbbing against my eardrums like a bass drum. I breathed in slowly, just willing my body to calm down. From previous experience, I knew just what I looked like after having my favourite erotic nightmare. But in this very public place, I felt very reluctant to share the view. Placing my palms against my cheeks, I felt the heat, they were still flushed and the throbbing need between my legs was only relieved by crossing over my jean-clad thighs and squeezing them tight.

The passing stewardess smiled at me ‘Can I get anything for you, Miss Jones?’ shaking my head I smiled back, not trusting my voice just yet. I tried to focus on the aircraft noise and not my heart rate.

It made me feel foolish, that eighteen months on, my one and only meeting with him could still leave me feeling like this. I wasn’t a stupid teenager for Christ sake and we didn’t even have a proper conversation.

I mean I don’t even know his real name
.

But whenever I closed my eyes his presence wrapped around me like a favourite blanket, the smell of his cologne expensive, fresh and clean, like the ocean. In mock inhalation, I closed my eyes again and settled back into the extremely comfortable first class seat, allowing myself the pleasure of reliving our only meeting, as I had hundreds of times before.

My aunt, uncle and I had flown to California, my only other time outside of England, to attend a meeting at Coronado, a US Navy SEAL base. The memories stirred mixed feelings, harrowing and exciting, within me. We had been flown out courtesy of the US Navy to hear the verdict of an enquiry into my cousin JJ’s death.

Continuing my train of thought, I took a deep breath and swallowed. Even now I still had difficulty believing JJ was gone.

The wallpaper in the waiting area, outside the room where the enquiry was being held, was imprinted on my mind; heavy green flocked print, to go with the solid mahogany polished chairs that we sat on. I could still smell the lavender furniture polish, obviously overused as it was almost headache inducing.  All the while we waited, for the internal enquiry to run its course.

Thank God for the large, arch-shaped windows in the building, otherwise the room would have been as dark as the mood that surrounded everybody within it. When the enquiry finally adjourned and the servicemen filed out, my aunt and uncle were asked to enter the room. Inside they had been delivered the verdict by the commanding officer.

I had sat outside, wringing my hands together in disbelief that we were even here. I had lost track of time, sitting and waiting. JJ only an interpreter, not a military man, and only 27, was gone. The mission in Afghanistan had gone wrong and had been aborted. The officer in charge had asked for an extraction, but too late for JJ. We were here to see if anyone’s poor judgement had cost my cousin his life.

I had sat looking down at my royal blue shift dress, hands tucked underneath my thighs, crossing and uncrossing my feet, encased in matching blue pumps. Slowly becoming aware of some of the witnesses, who had just vacated the enquiry. Studying the small tightly gathered group, who were stood chatting; my awareness had prickled at the sight of one man. He stood slightly apart from the rest. He wreaked dominance, which just screamed for my attention. His large masculine frame was almost Greek God like, my dad would have described him as built like a brick outhouse, and I stifled a giggle.

Seriously. What the hell was wrong with me?

Honestly,
emotional wreck
should have been hung on a sign around my neck! I was sure I was losing it big time. I was going from tearful to giggling, like an adolescent school girl.

Resuming my study; the broad shoulders went down to a small waist, creating the perfect V shape. His hair was almost black, and he had a deep cleft chin. His lips were sinful looking, full and heart shaped. Not the sort of lips a man should have.  A Greek God encased in uniform, it doesn’t get any better. Bella would kick herself when she knew she had missed such a sight.

I really needed to get a grip and remind myself just exactly what I was here for. No one in their right mind would want to exchange places with me, having lost their surrogate sibling.

I think I had first noticed him because the hairs on the back of my neck had stood to attention. I remember raising my left hand and rubbing my neck underneath my long brown hair. I continued to stare because he was fidgeting with his white gloves. He hadn’t looked like the sort of person to struggle with nerves or embarrassment, far from it in fact.  From 10 feet away he had slowly lifted his gaze, from the floor to me and from the moment my eyes had fallen into his emerald green pools, they had been held captive and I was trapped. I remember even now, physically stopping to breathe.

He had made his way towards where I sat; walking with assured confidence. Watching him, I could see how he could easily bring a large crowd to a complete standstill. My top teeth had bitten down onto my bottom lip in apprehension.

He tucked his peaked white cap under his left arm and continued towards me, his dress shoes making a clicking noise on the much worn, hardwood floor with every step. His cologne started to permeate my nostrils.

“Frankie?” he questioned gently, in the deepest voice I had ever heard, looking straight at me and standing so close I could have touched him.

“Y-yes,” wondering how the hell he knew my name, and even if he knew who I was, only my family and friends called me Frankie and not my given first name of Francesca.

“I’m Jabby, I was in charge of the mission JJ was part of,” he paused and inhaled deeply, trying to gauge my response. “I wanted to say how sorry I am, well all the team are,” he said, gesturing towards the small group behind him. ‘JJ was a great guy and a good friend. We wanted to bring him out with us alive, but I guess that wasn’t to be,” he sighed and moved his feet slightly waiting for my response.

“Were you exonerated?” I questioned, tilting my head slightly to one side, gesticulating towards the closed room, which now contained my aunt and uncle. I was still staring deeply into the green pools of his eyes, noticing now we were closer, that they contained amber flecks. I couldn’t have looked away, even if I had wanted to.

How could I be so affected by the man who had possibly caused the death of my cousin? Standing up from my seat and establishing a position in front of him, I tried to give the impression that I was in control of my senses at least. I still had to look up, as even though I was tall, I still only came up to the height of his shoulders. My body was my own worst enemy and I felt my nipples pebble inside my bra. His gaze shifted down further to my breasts, almost instinctively. Like my body had sounded a bloody horn to get his attention.

What the fuck? My confidence evaporated immediately and I shook my head trying to dislodge my thoughts. I fisted and clamped my hands to my sides, as they were aching to reach out and touch the Greek God.

“I was,” he replied, re aligning his eyes with mine, “At least by the Navy...” he cleared his throat and paused, “If there is ever anything I can help you with? I mean anything; you only have to contact the liaison officer.” Our conversation was interrupted just then by the return of my aunt and uncle” Frankie?” my aunt interjected, looking between me and the 6ft 4in God that stood in front of me.

I caught hold of her hands and reluctantly broke eye contact with Jabby, what the hell kind of name was that anyway? My aunt looked emotional and I hugged her briefly.” It was an accident, Frankie” I heard my uncle say.

I had taken my first proper full breath then, since I had first clapped eyes on Jabby.

“I would like to offer my sincere apologies, and tell you of my deep regret….” He paused, swallowed and carried on, “JJ was like a brother to me and I am so sorry for your loss,” his green eyes started to mist over and the amber flecks all but disappeared.

“He may have been like a brother to you... but he was my cousin, my surrogate brother.” I caught an unexpected sob from the back of my throat, and clasped my right hand over my
mouth. He moved his hand suddenly and held my forearm. I could feel the heat and when his fingers started to move, all be it slightly, I could feel his calloused skin abrading mine. My whole body responded, as though he had lit the touch paper to my soul. I don’t know how long our eyes held each other’s gaze again in mutual understanding. The moment eventually broke.

“Sir, Ma’am,” Jabby saluted them, “Frankie,” he nodded at me and then turned to exit the building. Walking away, replacing his cap on his head, straightening it slightly as soon as his feet hit the outside. I was captivated just watching him put his white gloves on. I watched him move them down each of his long fingers.  He turned to look at me only once, before he disappeared from view along with the rest of his team.

Why the hell did it feel like my whole future life was walking away with him? Mentally I chastised myself for being bloody ridiculous. It must be the emotions of the day.

Get a bloody grip Frankie.

My memories were broken just then by an announcement on the aeroplane.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are now two hours away from landing at JFK New York; we do hope you’re enjoying your flight with us.

Shifting slightly in my seat made me realise that just thinking about him had brought back the throbbing in-between my legs and had also made my knickers very damp.

For God’s sake Frankie, think about something else eh
...

I mentally slapped my face, to shake myself out of my favourite pastime, dreaming of my Greek God with the stupid bloody name.

Standing, I made my way to the toilets. After locking the door, I stared at myself in the small mirror, splashing water on my cheeks to take away the heat. I allowed myself to talk out loud. ‘Frankie Jones, you really need to start living in reality land! For God ’s sake, you’re a grown woman. You have a good career and a brain, start acting your age.’

Leaning forward onto the vanity unit, I stared into the mirror. The reflection wasn’t bad. Not stunning or anything, but not bad. Long brown hair, large, dark brown eyes, that were often commented on and a curvy figure. Not a model’s but half decent, not quite up to my mother’s exacting standards, but OK.  I needed to start living in the here and now. It had been a long time since I’d had a man, the one and only man in my 24 years, and that was quite obviously the problem. It needed to be fixed, and fast I thought, I wasn’t experienced enough to know.  Another reason to be looking forward to seeing Bella, if she couldn’t sort me out no one could, I thought with a chuckle.  

Sitting back down, I concentrated then on why I was flying to New York. The new job was exciting and I could hardly believe my luck, to have been headhunted for it. The salary and package was excessive, but then it needed to be as the job would only last a couple of months. The offer took into consideration leaving my country and family, well my aunt and uncle, behind. The best part was going to be, being with Bella again after eleven months apart. I thought about her for a few minutes, I was so proud of her using her degree in journalism and working at the New York Post of all places.

We came from a small coastal town in England, and well just look at us now.

I picked up my kindle, to while away the last two hours of the flight, but after trying for at least ten minutes to lose myself in a good book I gave up, and decided to sit and check out the opulence of my surroundings.