FATED (25 page)

‘Where’s Edwards?’ He growled.

‘I don’t need Edwards, Nathan,’ I turned myself back to my mother, ‘so? I’m waiting.’

She sat herself down uninvited on a corner of the settee. ‘Well, so it’s a brothel you girls have here is it?... albeit a very high class one.’ I saw from the very corner of my eye Bella put out an arm to stop Nathan moving. ‘Francesca you should come home.’

‘What the hell for,... just bloody well tell me what the hell you want from me?’

‘I am getting divorced,’ she finally admitted. ‘Luke McMorran’s father is my solicitor... He feels you two were so good together; he would love to see you back together... and well he feels he could get me a much better settlement if we were family.’ Luke was my first and only ever boyfriend, before Alex. Momentarily I was stunned.

Christ knows why?
This was typical of our relationship. I stared at her then, feeling like I could finally see her warts and all for the very first time. Before I knew what was happening I was laughing, I mean really laughing.

‘So let me get this right... you accuse Bella and I of being prostitutes, which quite obviously we’re bloody not and then you expect me to leave my life here and come home to sell my body, all so you can get a bigger divorce settlement?... You are not only delusional; you are the most selfish bitch I have ever had the misfortune to come across... I cannot believe… YOU… GAVE BIRTH TO ME!’ I could see Bella grinning like a Cheshire cat out of the corner of my eye.

‘I have a fantastic job here,’ I waved my arms around the huge apartment. ‘I am in love for the first time in my life, with the most fantastic and loving man... you really are under some sort of misconception,’ I was shaking my head.

I watched her face change then, from manipulative cow to evil snarling bitch and I knew I had awoken the beast.

‘I think you have to ask yourself, Francesca... why would a man like Alex Blackmore want you? Especially a fantastic and loving one, you are a mousey little thing. I am sure given a few weeks, when you have served a purpose, he will throw you away like the trash you seem to constantly dress in. Let’s face it; the whole love thing could be simply a ruse, to stop a civil case looking into JJ’s death, couldn’t it?’

My wonderful new found confidence was slipping at her put down and her thoughts.

‘My brother is in love with Frankie,’ Nathan came and draped his arm protectively around my shoulders. ‘Not that it has anything to do with you,’ he looked my mother up and down with as much disdain in his expression as he could muster. I had to say I visibly saw her shrink somewhat.

‘And I am in love with her best friend,’ Bella recoiled slightly upon hearing that statement.

‘As we’re rich, talented, extremely successful, and very protective, I seriously doubt you will have anything you can offer either of them ever again, except maybe a heartfelt apology. But I know your sort, that will never happen.’ Without taking his arm away from my shoulder we walked, him leading, without a limp, to the door. He opened it forcefully.

‘Edwards, this woman is leaving.’

I watched as my mother stood and made her way to the door. My grip on Nathan’s waist strengthened.

‘Oh, Karen... just before you go.’ We all turned to look at Bella questioningly. ‘I just wanted to let you know... it’s the sort of thing a friend should tell you... but of course you don’t have any of those... The fillers and Botox you must be paying a bloody fortune for... Well, they’re not working. You are looking worse than the Mona Lisa and... She is...well, she is fucking old!’

My mother raised one hand to her face and disappeared quickly through the door.

She must have heard us cracking up with laughter at Bella’s bitchy swipe and the sheer relief of her departure.

‘So proud of you, my bestie,’ Bella quickly made her way over to Nathan and I, the three of us hugged and I felt myself finally relax, for the first time since I had glimpsed her figure from across the road.

‘It’s a joke, isn’t it?’ Nathan was shaking his head and speaking to both of us, ‘Family is supposed to be where we find the most support and comfort; more often it’s where we find our biggest heartaches.’

Thirty-Six

It was Wednesday and I was staring out of my windows from the penthouse lev
el, just watching the world go by. I still hadn’t seen Alex; I had however woken up on Monday morning in my bed and by the indentation next to me in the bed, coupled with the smell of him and that cologne permeating from the pillow, I knew he had been there at some time during the night. Although I had taken some small consolation from that realisation, it didn’t help with the ever growing feelings of loss and loneliness I was beginning to experience. The confrontation with my mother had started to put seeds of doubt in my head and I needed to extinguish them as quickly as possible.

We had spoken only once, properly. Nathan had reported to him about the meeting I’d had with my mother and straight away my mobile had rung. He had told me how much he loved me and how proud of me he was, the tension was still very evident in his voice, but he had assured me that the situation at home was now under control. He made a promise to be properly back, sometime this week. I needed him; I almost craved the sight of him. I knew this was palpable to those around me. In our last texting session last night, I was laid out on my bed touching the pillow where his head had been. I had told him how I took photographs of my best memories and kept them in my head. Under his scrutinising but sweet questioning, I had admitted to him that most of my happy photographs contained him. Today I had received an enormous bouquet of flowers. The card had read

Miss you baby

It killed me waking up next to you on Monday.

Although we are apart at the moment, it won’t be forever.

Remember I will always find my way back to you!

I Love you Frankie

Alex

Photograph- Ed Sheeran

Every song we had messaged each other, I had on a repeatable play list. If anyone had been with me today, I knew I would have driven them up the wall. I had played it and played it and sung every word at the top of my voice, for quite a few hours whilst doing chores.

The front door to our apartment knocked suddenly and I flew over to answer it. The wonderfully animated face of Nathan stood waiting for his entrance.

‘So?’ I asked, ‘How did it go?’ He moved past me and into the apartment.

‘Yeah really fucking fantastic, thanks.’ He had attended a meeting with his bike team managers and sponsors today. I knew it had been playing on his mind. You’re only a hotshot when you’re actually winning and of course he hadn’t even been racing for quite some time. I knew in the few conversations we’d had together on the subject that it worried him. Younger guys with no history of injury were queuing up to get their lucky break. But he had always hoped that his track record and experience would see him through.

‘Well, Brock told them I was coming back into training in January and they’re happy to continue my sponsorship.’

‘Nathan, I’m so pleased for you. I know it has been in the back of your mind that they might not want you back,’ I closed the few steps between us now and hugged him. He squeezed me back.

‘They have asked me to talk to you as well... they are so fucking happy with my progress and the strength in my leg, that they wanted to know if the team could offer you a permanent physio position.’

‘Really?’ I was stunned. I knew that this job was coming to an end and that I was going to have to find a new one soon, but I had constantly been pushing that thought to the back of my mind. 

We automatically went through to the kitchen and I filled up and turned on the kettle. He leant his jean covered backside on to the worktop edge.

‘What do you think?... it would mean you would get to keep putting your hands all over this sexy body of mine.’ His face broke out into full on bad boy, dimples and all.

‘So I would have to travel with you, wouldn’t I?’ I looked at him questioningly, stirring the tea for far longer than necessary.

He nodded and took the cup of tea I was now offering to him. Taking my own I went back out to the living area. Falling onto the settee I brought my legs up underneath me and blew on the top of my tea to cool it down and to just give myself a moment.

‘You do realise that you haven’t damn well answered me yet, don’t you?’ He plonked his large and normally graceful frame down next to me. He started to drink the far too hot liquid.

‘I know this job is coming to an end, Nate... and that I will need to move on to something else soon... but I’m reluctant to make a decision at the moment.’

What I really wanted to say was ‘Alex has said he’s going to ask me to marry him soon, and I am waiting for that
.’
But how lame would that sound?

‘I know what you’re thinking, you and Alex have just found each other and you’re reluctant to leave... right?’

I laughed at him. ‘Yeah, you’re right,’ I smiled and shook my head. ‘I miss him, so much. Do you know if he has sorted out the business deal he and Ruby were discussing, yet?’

‘Truthfully, chocolate drop, I haven’t spoken to him... with everything that I’ve had going on this week. I did speak to Scott last night though and he is sounding really good, that is definitely a step in the right fucking direction... in fact he was sounding the best I’ve heard in ages. With him on the up that should hopefully release Alex a bit more. I will try and hold them off for a while on the job offer, at least to try and give you the time to speak to Alex.’

I was just going to start trying to ask a few more carefully worded questions when Bella burst through the door. I could hardly see her underneath all the bags she was carrying.

‘A little help please, Frankie... Woman in severe shopping distress here,’ her voice carried loudly into the apartment. She obviously couldn’t have seen either of us sitting here.

Both Nathan and I jumped up to her and began relieving her of the ridiculous amount of bags.  Slowly she began to immerge from behind the paper and plastic. Her eyes looked extremely panicked when she found I was not alone in helping her. The alarm bells were ringing in my head. In my extensive experience Bella only spent money like water when she was really, really stressed. She would just spend money on anything whether she liked it or not, she would spend money on things just because they were the colour she was looking at that day. All of these things put together, made me very concerned.

‘There ya go, darlin,’ Nate added as he placed the last of the bags on the floor. He took her into his arms now and ran light kisses over her collar bone.

‘Thank you... I need to go and freshen up now.’ With that comment she quickly and very effectively manoeuvred out of his arms and away to her room. In her wake she left Nathan and I looking at each other for answers, but unfortunately we were coming up with a big fat zero. I watched him as he pulled his face back together banishing the hurt expression and he tried to offer me a grin. It would have worked on anyone who didn’t know him well, but I wasn’t fooled.

‘Nate... leave it with me...I’ll go and check on her. I’m sure she is probably stressed about work,’ I offered a reassuring smile to him. I wasn’t wholly convinced myself. But I hated to see the hurt and rejection in his eyes. I wanted to do anything I could, to help take it away.

‘She’s been like this since our clash with your mo... Karen. She took offence to me declaring that I loved her and I’ve been getting the fucking cold shoulder ever since... FUCK!’ He slammed his hand against the door. I could only stand and silently offer my solidarity. Unfortunately I had seen it before.

‘Tell her she knows where I am, if and when she wants to talk it through. But I won’t wait forever.’

‘Don’t you think you should be saying that to her, not me?’

‘Chocolate drop, if I thought it would make a difference I would, but honestly she’s fucking shut down on me...for what reason? I haven’t got a clue, and before you ask I have tried to get her to talk to me... OK?’ I had to nod at him but I wasn’t really OK. I knew what I would find when I got to her bedroom and the thought filled me with sadness.

I entered her room without knocking. I knew she wouldn’t have answered me anyway. Bella was curled into a tight almost foetal like ball in the middle of her purple bed. I couldn’t see her face as her blonde hair had fallen all over it. She reminded me of a colour wheel, the two most opposite colours colliding there on the bed, yellow and purple. It was a stark reminder that in life, the two most opposing emotions can come barrelling through at any moment in time, and cause utter destruction.

The sobs that wracked through her body, over and over again, made my heart ache. I could identify with her and knew that nothing I had to say at this precise moment, would offer her any sense of comfort or reassurance. I curled myself up exactly behind her and pulled her to me as tight as I could manage and there we lay. For what seemed like hours, in the same position. She muttered the same few incoherent phrases over and over again; her sobs died down and then escalated again. Tears ran silently down my face. I felt so utterly bloody useless, all I could do was to try and absorb her pain. Finally, as the afternoon light receded into dusk, she fell asleep in my arms. I peeled myself away from her. Now I needed to go and see Nathan.

The door to his apartment was open and I made my way inside. The open living area had no light on at all, but I could just make out his silhouette in the armchair in front of one of the huge panes of glass. His forearms were resting on his knees as he leant forward. I could see that he had been working out, as although he still had on his jeans his torso was bare and had a slight gleam of sweat on it. The lights of the city made it glisten.

‘Frankie?’ He questioned.

‘Yeah, it’s me.’ I moved over to him. I couldn’t properly see his face from here. His body language was coming across as extremely hurt, almost to the point of being distressed. I needed to see his face, in order to gauge him properly. Moving promptly, I sat down on the floor in between his bare feet. Nathan unclasped his own hands, which up to now had been wringing themselves and grabbed my own.

‘How is she?’ His voice was so small, almost as though he didn’t want me to hear the question and then he wouldn’t have to hear the answer.

‘I haven’t seen her like this in a long time, Nathan... for almost ten years she has kept a lid on her emotions and now for some reason they have resurfaced,’ I was shaking my head at the reality of it all.

‘It’s my fault... isn’t it?’ He eyes met mine now in question.

‘The fault isn’t yours, Nate... You couldn’t help falling in love with her, could you?’ I squeezed his hands tighter trying to offer a modicum of comfort.

‘I knew she wasn’t damn well ready to be told though.’ His hands left mine suddenly and started running through his hair, over and over again. ‘I could just sense it, I could fucking recognise it, but still I had to go and say it.’

Nathan stood abruptly now and started pacing up and down in front of the windows.

‘What happened to her, Frankie? What makes her want to run away?’ He stopped and stared directly at me.

I froze for a moment.

How could I decide between my friends as to who I helped? Of course it had to be Bella that I stuck by, even if it hurt to do so.