Authors: Radclyffe
Honor's blood ran a little hotter just thinking about the relentless demands of Quinn's mouth and hands and... She shivered and pushed back from the table. "I have to get away from you. You do...things...to me. Scary, wonderful things."
Quinn laughed as Honor walked away. "You can run, but you can't hide."
Honor stopped in the doorway and regarded Quinn tenderly. "I think I'm done with both. Now, I'm going to shower and get ready for the game."
Heart pounding, Quinn watched her go.
I love you.
* * * * *
"I saw you, Quinn, and Arly leave the house together this morning," Linda said as she sidled up to Honor on the sideline. "Uh-huh." "The three of you looked cute together."
Honor turned and gave Linda a piercing glare. "Whatever it is you want to know, just ask so I can watch the game."
"Okay," Linda said accommodatingly. "How serious are the two of you? Is she wonderful in bed? Has she told you yet that she loves you?"
"I don't know. Definitely." Honor hesitated and glanced at Quinn, who stood only yards away, her attention riveted on her young players. "Yes, she's told me."
"It sounds like things are very serious, then." Linda's tone was serious as well. "Do you love her?"
"I—" Honor broke off as Quinn turned to her with a stunned expression on her face. She saw Quinn press her right hand to the center of her chest just before she collapsed abruptly to the ground. Even as she started to run, Honor snapped to Linda, "Call 911 and keep the kids away from here."
In less than five seconds, Honor was kneeling on the ground by Quinn's side. Quinn lay motionless on her back, eyes closed. When Honor pressed two fingers to the carotid artery on the right side of Quinn's neck, her stomach seized, and for an instant, her mind went completely blank. She couldn't feel a pulse. Then, with instinct born of years of training and motivated by a resolve that burned through her with white-hot fury, she brought her closed fist down sharply in the center of Quinn's chest.
You will not die. I will not lose you. God damn you, you will not do this to me.
Just as Honor, preparing to start CPR, pressed both hands to the center of Quinn's sternum, Quinn's eyes fluttered open. The breath stopped in Honor's chest as unfocused blue eyes met hers.
"Honor?"
"It's all right, baby. You're all right." Honor, almost weak with fear and relief, fought desperately to keep her voice steady. "Just lie still."
"What happened?" Quinn tried to push up on her elbows but found that she was light-headed. "I'm a little dizzy."
"I know." Honor wrapped her fingers around Quinn's wrist, enormously comforted by the strong, steady pulse. "You fainted. We need to take you to the hospital so I can evaluate the situation."
She didn't see any point in telling Quinn that she'd had a cardiac arrest. It had been a brief episode that had responded immediately to the "cardiac thump," and in all likelihood, no heart muscle damage had been sustained. Still, the danger remained that she'd have another arrhythmia that Honor would not be able to convert so easily again. She needed to get Quinn into the EMS van where she would have a defibrillator at hand.
"I think I'm okay," Quinn said quietly, slowly realizing what must have transpired. Honor was white as a sheet and her eyes were huge, all pupil.
God, please, don't let me lose everything now. Not now.
"Sweetheart, I'm okay."
"You seem to be, but I still need to run some tests." Honor brushed her fingers over Quinn's forehead but kept one hand on her shoulder to prevent her
from
trying to rise again. "Baby, please don't argue."
"No," Quinn replied, catching Honor's hand and holding it firmly. "I won't. Can I see Arly before we go? Or do you think it would be better not to let her see me now?"
The sound of the siren grew nearer. Honor glanced around and saw that a ring of adults had enclosed them, keeping everyone else away. Linda stood nearby, her attention on Honor
and
Quinn.
"I'll get her if you promise not to move." When Quinn nodded her assent, Honor motioned to Linda. "Will you stay with her while I get Arly?"
"Sure." Linda took Honor's place and automatically grasped Quinn's wrist. "How you doing, honey?"
"I'm all right." Quinn turned her head and tried to follow Honor's movement through the crowd. "Listen, will you take care of Honor? Just in case I have another problem. She shouldn't be the one running a code if this goddamn defibrillator misfires again."
"She's not going to let anyone else take care of you," Linda said quietly. "You'll both be fine. Now here comes Arly, so look sharp."
"Quinn? Are you sick?" Arly hunkered down next to Quinn between her mother and Linda. Her expression was concerned, but she wasn't afraid, because her mother had told her not to be.
Quinn shook her head, "I didn't feel very good a few minutes ago, but I feel much better now. Your mom wants me to go to the hospital so she can check me out. So we're going to go for a ride in one of the medical vans, okay?"
Arly nodded intently and glanced at her mother. "Can I come?"
Honor rested her hand on her daughter's back. "I'm going to be busy for a while taking care of Quinn. Linda will bring you over later, I promise."
"Okay."
Quinn patted Arly's knee. "I think you should get back to the game now. I'll see you in a little while."
"Come on, honey," Linda said, taking the child's hand. "Robin is going to need you back on the field."
"Is she going to be okay?" Quinn asked as Arly disappeared.
Honor nodded, waving the EMTs over. "Yes. She understands that I'm a doctor, and she trusts that I'll take care of things. She'll be fine as long as she can see you later."
"Good," Quinn said with a sigh and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry about this."
"Don't ever say that to me again." The words were delivered gently, but when she stood and addressed the first EMT on the
x
scene, her command tone was in evidence, "I'm Dr. Blake. We need transport to PMC. She has an unstable arrhythmia and needs to be monitored all the way."
"Yes, ma'am," the technician said as he and his partner started an IV in Quinn's arm and attached EKG leads to her chest.
While holding Quinn's hand, Honor observed everything the EMTs did, even though she knew they were well trained to handle that kind of emergency. She walked alongside the stretcher and climbed into the back of the van, and, despite her anxiety, she allowed them to do their job as they traveled the short distance to the hospital. Once in the ER, she directed members of her staff to get the equipment she needed as the EMTs wheeled Quinn through the hall to the procedure room.
As was so often the case after the event was over, by the time Quinn was settled onto the exam table, she felt close to normal. The IV that the EMTs had started was taped to her right arm. Her shirt was off and EKG leads were spread across her chest. The portable monitor by her bedside beeped with comforting regularity, and the tracing appeared normal. But just as Honor walked into the room, the EKG monitor gave a series of rapid beats, and Quinn felt a fluttering sensation in her chest. The same flutter that had preceded her collapse at the field. Both she and Honor stared at the monitor. Several misplaced beats skittered across the screen, and then the steady pattern returned.
"Something's wrong, Quinn," Honor said quietly, a rhythm strip from the electrocardiogram in her hand. "And I'm not so certain it's your heart. You
are
having irregular beats, but they look almost as if the defibrillator and not your cardiac muscle is triggering them. I think you're going to need the device replaced."
"It certainly malfunctioned this afternoon." Quinn took a deep breath and met Honor's troubled gaze. "I felt the run of V-tach, and I could tell the defibrillator didn't fire. I only had a few seconds before..."
Before I went out.
She shivered. "It didn't pace me."
"I know, baby." Honor reached for Quinn's hand and squeezed it gently. "But you're being monitored now, and we'll keep monitoring you until we get this fixed." Then she said what she knew Quinn wouldn't want to hear. "I want to admit you to a telemetry floor until I can get one of the cardiac surgeons in to see you."
"I'd rather go back to Manhattan and let my cardiologist there deal with it."
"I understand, but you're too unstable to travel." Just saying the words was enough to bring a surge of nausea roiling through Honor's stomach. Now that the immediate crisis was over, she couldn't prevent the enormity of what had nearly happened from penetrating her consciousness.
She almost died. I almost lost her out there.
"I don't intend to lose you, Quinn," Honor said quietly. "I love you."
"You certainly can pick your moments, Dr. Blake." Quinn's voice was gentle, her eyes soft with longing.
Honor bit her lip, suddenly terribly afraid that she would cry. She swallowed and forced a smile. "You tend to disrupt my timing."
"Would you agree to me going to Manhattan if I went by ambulance?" Quinn took a deep breath, wishing she didn't have to explain. "If they need to reposition the leads, it's going to be tricky. They had problems with that the first time."
"What kind of problems?" Honor's voice was flat, her eyes betraying none of her apprehension.
"They triggered a run of V-fib and I...ah, Christ...I arrested during the procedure."
"I see." Refusing to allow the horror of that statement to penetrate her consciousness, Honor calculated the options. The period when Quinn might suffer a potentially fatal arrhythmia was the time up to and
including
the surgery. "All right. I'll call your cardiologist now and find out if he can line up the surgeons for you right away, if he can, we'll transport you this afternoon. But if he can't, and there's going to be any kind of delay, we're not waiting."
"Agreed." Before Honor could turn away, Quinn grasped her hand. "I love you, Honor. I love you, and I love Arly. It's going to be okay."
Hqnor leaned down and kissed Quinn tenderly on the mouth. When she drew away, she whispered, "I love you. And we're going to get through this."
Chapter Thirty-One
"E TA—five minutes."
Leaning against the partition separating the driver's space from the treatment area in the EMS truck, Honor nodded wearily. "Thanks."
Quinn was beside her, lying on the narrow portable stretcher, EKG leads still attached. She'd slept through most of the ninety-minute ride.
"Honey?" Honor brushed a hand over Quinn's hair. "We're nearly there."
"Yeah, I heard him." Quinn turned to search her lover's face. "Once I get settled, you can go ho—"
"We've already had this conversation," Honor said gently. "I'm not leaving you. If they do the procedure this afternoon,
we'll
be able to go home tomorrow. Arly's fine with Phyllis for one night."
"I know that, I just thought..."
I just thought it would be easier on you if you didn't have to wait in the hospital. You've got to be thinking about Terry now.
Honor leaned close so that the EMT, who was strapped into the small pull-down seat at the other end of the van, wouldn't hear them. Her voice was a whisper of steel. "What did you think, Quinn, when you made it impossible for me
not
to fall in love with you? Did you think that I would leave the first time we ran into a problem? Any kind of problem?"
Quinn opened her mouth to answer, but it was a full minute before she actually spoke. "I wanted you so much that I refused to think about what might happen if...this happened." She looked stricken. "That wasn't very fair, was it?"
"Oh, Quinn," Honor said with a sigh and an affectionate shake of her head.
"Fair
has nothing to do with it. Life isn't fair. Love isn't fair." She traced her fingers over Quinn's cheek. "But when love is good, it's everything. And I love you."
"I love you, too." Quinn reached for Honor's hand and held tightly. She was scared. Less scared of dying than she'd ever been, but more frightened than she'd imagined possible at the thought of not having the chance to live her life with Honor. "And I'm very glad you're here."
"Good. Then stop trying to get rid of me."
The ambulance slowed and had barely come to a halt before the rear double doors opened. Honor was surprised when a lean, dark-haired woman in navy blue scrubs climbed into the van, ignoring the EMT, and crouched down by Quinn's side.
"Christ, Maguire. What have you gotten yourself into now?"
Then the woman reached out to the portable EKG machine and pushed a button. After twenty seconds, she tore off the rhythm strip that had scrolled from the machine and glanced at it. "This doesn't look bad enough to call out the troops. Getting soft in that cushy new job of yours?"
"Excuse me," Honor said coldly. "But I think it might be prudent to move Dr. Maguire into the emergency room where she can be properly monitored."
The newcomer gave Honor an appraising stare and a raised eyebrow. Honor returned the stare while a muscle jumped along the edge of her jaw.
Before fireworks could erupt, Quinn made hasty introductions. "Dr. Saxon Sinclair, Dr. Honor Blake, the chief of emergency services at PMC. Honor is—"
"Her lover," Honor said succinctly. She leaned around Quinn's previous chief and said to the technician, "Let's move her, shall we."
"It's a pleasure, Dr. Blake." Sax gave Quinn an approving grin and got out of the way.
"Take her into the trauma bay, guys," Sax instructed as the group proceeded toward the hospital. She glanced at Quinn. "When Caroli called and said you were on your way up, I got Wisnicki on the phone. He's waiting upstairs in the OR in case it looks like that pacer has to be changed."
"Is that the cardiac surgeon?" Honor took rapid stock of Saxon Sinclair. In many ways, she resembled Quinn. They were both dark haired, blue eyed, and aggressively good looking, and both had that classic surgical air of competence bordering on arrogance. Sinclair was fundamentally different from Quinn, however. The first thing Honor remembered noticing about Quinn was the unusual core of tranquility beneath her assertive exterior. It was one of the things she loved about her, that calm, steady certainty. In contrast, Sinclair radiated so much electricity that Honor was surprised her skin wasn't tingling. The air around the surgeon seemed to vibrate with the force of her energy. "He's the best you have?"