Feel (27 page)

Not able to stop myself, I press my damp heat harder against him, loving the raw, sensual sounds my body elicits from his mouth.  His groan ignites the flames bursting through my entire being.  Sliding the strip of lacey cotton from my legs, I rid the rest of the barrier from me as he unbuckles his belt, stripping the jeans that looked amazingly sexy hanging just right on his toned waist, below the thin, black cotton shirt that did nothing to hide the ripped muscles bulging underneath.  My fingers skim across the tattoos covering his abs before sliding lower, wrapping tightly around his swollen state. 

His groan is guttural and he grips my hand as I stroke the length of him before he picks me up and tosses me on the bed.  He’s hovering over me before I catch my breath.  I stare up into the fire brewing bright green and my body arches towards him, towards his touch, as he slides his hand down my cheek, tracing the hollow of my neck to the swell of my breasts.  His chin dips, his mouth taking the tip of my nipple and suckling it inside.  Heat pools low in my belly and I press against his thigh, my slickened entrance begging for his invasion. 

The way his tongue licks against the hardened tip of my nipple, then his teeth gently tug, nearly makes me come undone from how unbelievably exquisite the sensations feel rioting inside every part of me.  Pushing my breast further inside the moist heat of his mouth, I slide against his thigh as pleasure filled gasps burst through my lips. 

  His hand grabs my thigh, shifting me underneath him and slides his thumb down the crevice of my folds.  “Damn, woman.  You are always so ready for me.” His voice is a low dominant growl, but gentle at the same time.  Full of exactly who Jensen is.  Sensitive.  Fierce.  Strong. 
Mine.
 

“I need you inside of me.  Now.  Please, Jensen,” I rasp breathlessly as he causes another moan to erupt from deep down as he slips his thumb inside.

“How do you want it, pretty girl?” he asks, his mouth leaving my nipple, and the air feels cool where the warmth of his tongue was seconds ago, making me throb even harder for him.

“I want all of you, every way you want me,” I whisper hungrily, relishing at how unabashed and wanton I feel at the moment.  With Jensen, those emotions make me feel safe, wanted.

The corner of his lip curves before that mouth tastes me, his tongue lavishing and plunging, and I have to grab the sheets so I don’t propel off the bed.  Jensen reduces me to a writhing mess at his complete mercy and, by the cocky, satisfied, look blaring in his eyes, he knows it.  Just at the brink of heaven, he moves his mouth higher, softly brushing kisses against my trembling flesh as he makes his way up my stomach, stopping to suckle my nipple, before conquering my mouth. 

His touch commands me, but I make damn sure to own his body as much as I surrender to his, taking my time tasting and delivering sweet torture as I rock against his hardened length when he thrusts inside of me.  Swiveling my hips, I arch to meet each hungry, fevered thrust.  The pleasured growl that rumbles against my neck lets me know I’m driving him as wildly crazy as he is me. 

Strong fingers wrap around my wrists as he gently pins me against the bed.  The power of his thrusts increase to a wonderfully reckless momentum, and my body rocks underneath him with each vigorous plunge of his body claiming mine.  My head spins as my body builds higher.  The tightening low in my belly sends me into a blissful frenzy as I thrash my head, arching my body violently against his as I build so close to the sweetest release. 

“Not yet, baby,” he gently demands, licking the sweat slickened skin below my collarbone.  “You taste so fucking good, pretty girl.”

Grabbing my arms, he pulls me with him as he rolls to his back.  Those firm hands tighten around my waist as he rocks me up and down on his hips.  I take the lead, grinding mercilessly against him until his lips part as his head presses against the mattress.  The purest, most powerful surge of love bursts inside of me at how he feels for me just as much as I feel for him. 

  A surprised cry tumbles from my kiss swollen lips when he takes me in his arms and flips me to my stomach.  His fingers dig into the slick flesh above my knee as he pushes my leg up the sheets, raising me to where I’m pressed as tightly against him as humanely possible as he deepens his thrusts, filling me to the core as I tighten around him. 

Raking my teeth against the sheet, I don’t hold back, letting him hear every wondrous sensation he is making me feel.  It feels so good it’s almost overwhelming as he holds his hand against my lower back, pressing my chest against the mattress as he drives harder, slamming into me.  Spreading my fingers against the headboard, I cry out with the force of my release as my body convulses blissfully beneath his. 

I’m still tremoring with delicious aftershocks as his hands wrap around my waist and he slams into me a few more hard, deep times before he erupts.  He pulses inside as he fills me with him before collapsing against my back.  We’re both gulping for air and I can feel his heart pounding furiously in his chest as he rolls to his side, pulling my body flush to his. 

“Holy shit, pretty girl,” he exclaims before trying to tame his ragged breaths.  “You make me feel something more every single time I’m with you.”  His hands press against my face and I drink in his features that are all him, pure masculinity and comfort.  “I love you, Saige.”

The most peaceful calm claims me and I snuggle close against his chest, breathing him in as I lay my hand over his heart.  My lips curve at how I feel everything that’s good, pure, and strong with him.  “I love you, too.”

My eyes drift closed as I get lost in the sounds of my violin.  Playing a new composition I wrote, I think of all that’s happened.  Starting classes in a new university was easier than all the times I’ve done it before, especially now that I have returned to my music.  I don’t know how I lived without my violin for four years.  I don’t know how I survived without Jensen.  But I did.  Being with him again has made me even stronger than I became without him.  I hope he feels the same about me.  It feels like he does.  He’s talking about starting a family and that has seemed to bring him closer to his.  I just wish it would’ve happened before they died.  I’ve kept reading his father’s journals with him.  I haven’t figured out how to stop sensing death, but maybe I’m not meant to.

Placing my violin in the case, I glance at the clock, wishing Jensen didn’t have to work late finishing up building the bikes he designed for a new client who is opening a shop in Vegas.  Jensen has made Andy, Darrin, and Axe partners with how well the business has grown over the past couple of months.  He said, without Andy, he never would have met Bronx to begin the shop and, without Darrin, he would have lost Reckless on Rails.  But, I know that with Jensen’s talent and dedication, Reckless on Rails would have been become a reality at some point, anyway.  I’m so damn proud of him.  Of all of them. 

  A yawn escapes as I try to decide between taking a long, hot bath or watching a movie when a gust as forceful as a punch slams into my gut and I fall to my knees.  My mouth goes dry and I grasp the edge of the coffee table as I vehemently shake my head, knowing that what I’m feeling –
who I’m feeling
– isn’t possible.  Another shot of vile darkness erupts inside and I know it’s Griffin.  Forcing myself to stand, I race through the living room and into the kitchen, sliding a few feet on the slick tile. 

“
Where are you going, Saige?
” Griffin’s words ring in my head but I don’t hear him.  He’s not close enough for me to hear.

  I run faster, my socked feet continuing to slide on the tile, and my hip hits the edge of the island but the pain barely registers as everything inside of me is screaming to get out of the house and to the bike so I can get away from Griffin. 

  “
Now, now.  You should know you can’t get too far from me
.”  His words echo inside my head, tormenting me, as I struggle with the lock on the French doors.  Open, dammit! I give a sharp tug and tumble through the doors to the patio outside.  He’s so close now, it’s like I can feel his sick breath on my neck, but I can’t see him. 

“
I told you not to go outside.  I’m going to have to teach you to listen to me now, Saige
.”

My pulse is thudding so damn hard, I’m afraid my heart is going to burst through my chest.  I’m almost to the bike as the damning despair engulfs me in his darkness.  I gasp for air, refusing to slow down as I get closer. 

“
Don’t get on that bike, Saige, or I swear I’ll make you regret it!
”

Move. Move.  Fuckin’ MOVE!  I will myself to go faster, trying to push through his suffocating fog.  His taunting laughter rings loudly in my ears, and I can’t tell if I’m actually hearing him or if he’s still putting his voice inside my head.  I want to climb inside myself and scourge him out of me.  My skin crawls, and the need to strip it from my bones is overwhelming as his depravity invades me, filling my veins and pores with his poison.  I finally reach the bike and throw myself onto the seat, throttling it to life.  I push it hard, accelerating the bike to its maximum starting speed.  The wind whips my hair wildly, but I don’t slow as I lean for the curve from the drive to the road. 

Blinding pain explodes inside my chest as I’m propelled off the back of the bike.  The sound of my head slamming onto the ground almost drowns out the deafening crash when my bike hits a tree and skids into the ditch.  I try to raise myself, but my chest feels like it’s caving, crushing me.  Pushing through the pain, I force myself to roll over.  That’s as far as I get before fire ignites on my scalp as Griffin grabs a handful of my hair, jerking me off the ground.  My mouth opens, but hardly any sound leaves my lips as I try to scream for help and from the pain.  Breathing is nearly impossible as I take in ragged puffs while I grab my own hair, pulling it back towards me as I lash out with my other hand. 

“I warned you, bitch,” Griffin growls, the feel of his actual breath on me a million times more sickening.  “You and I have some catching up to do.”  His grip on my hair tightens as he drags me back towards the house. 

His diseased thoughts attack me, seeping into my brain.  “Let me go, you sick bastard,” I gasp, trying to fight his physical strength as I battle his emotional dominance. 

“To be such a beautiful girl, you have a smart, filthy mouth, Saige.”

“You haven’t heard anything yet,” I bark, making myself stare straight into his soulless eyes.

“I hope not.  I’m looking forward to hearing that sweet voice of yours scream and beg.”

“Fuck you!”

His grip leaves my hair and I fall to the ground. 

I waste no time trying to scramble away, but he kicks me.  Fire sears up my ribs as I flip through the air, landing on my back.  I can’t catch a breath as pain pulses down my entire right side.  Panic seizes me as I struggle to gulp little bursts of air.

Griffin wraps his hand around my neck, squeezing tightly.  My hands claw at his hand, but he squeezes harder until all the air is cut off and his bruising grasp feels like it’s going to snap my neck. 

I thrash violently, using the rest of my failing strength to kick and strike any place I can hit him until I begin to fade.

  “Not yet, Saige,” he whispers against my ear as I float in the dark haze.  “I’m not done with you, yet.”

My body jerks, falling over his shoulder as he carries me inside.  I try to move, but my body won’t cooperate and I scream in exasperation when my lungs finally fill with air again. 

“That’s my girl.  That’s what I want to hear, and so much more,” he laughs, dropping me onto the floor.  My head slams against the kitchen wall but I bite back my cry of pain, not giving the bastard the satisfaction. 

“I’m going to enjoy feeling your pain immensely.  Even more than you.”  His eyes blaze when he smiles at me and I want to rip his entire head from his neck.  “Let’s see what your Jensen has left for us to play with.”  His maniacal rage blends with my rage, infecting me. 

Closing my eyes, I focus on Jensen, slowly pushing the darkness away.  Sharp pain ignites against my temple. 

“No!” he yells, “we can’t have you breaking free when I have you just where I want you.”

The bursts of light fizzle to tiny scattering dots and I can see the handle of the knife he used to hit me, but it’s what he’s planning on doing next with it that sends terror shooting down my spine.