Feel Like Makin' Love (Rock and Roll Trilogy #3) (22 page)

“Sure,” Geni said and took the camera.

He washed Kyliejo’s flowers off. With the red marker he wrote ‘Matthew’ and then drew a heart and filled it in.

“That really tickles!” Carlee laughed.

Under the heart he wrote ‘Carlee
.’ He kissed the top of her head, and Geni got several shots of all of it.

Percy and Megs were giggling and laughing over the whole thing. Angela and Malia, Carlee noticed, were crying.

“That was exhilarating!” Carlee said. “Now I don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen next!” She noticed that Kyliejo was quiet. “Kyliejo, are you OK?”

She looked at
Johanna before she replied. “My hair’s gonna fall out too, right?”

Johanna
held her breath. “It didn’t before, but this time is different,” she said and nodded.

“It’s just hair, right Carlee?” she asked.

“It’ll grow back,” she replied.

“I want to shave mine off too,” Kyliejo replied.

“Oh, Kyliejo, are you sure?” Johanna asked.

“Yes ma’am. I think this is ea
sier than finding it everywhere, right?”

“It’s your hair,”
Johanna said and started to cry.

“It’ll be fine, Mu
m,” she said. “Do you want to do it?”

“Kyliejo, I’m afraid.”

“Carlee, can you start and then Mum can have a turn?” Kyliejo asked with a smile.

“I’d love to! But I have to warn you, it really tickles!”

Matthew helped her onto the bed with Carlee, and everyone watched. Carlee looked to Johanna; she nodded, and Carlee made the first swipe, right down the middle, front to back. Kyliejo laughed.

“It does tickle!”

Carlee put the shaver down a moment and picked up the yellow marker. “You know, yellow is my favorite color,” she said.

“
It reminds you of sunshine,” Kyliejo said as Carlee started to draw.

“You’re going to draw already?”

“I want to do this so Matthew can get a picture. Ready?”

Kyliejo no
dded, and Carlee took the bright-colored marker and started at the back of her head at the hairline, coloring in a heavy line all the way to the to her forehead where she put a point like an arrow. She then took the blue marker and wrote in pretty cursive handwriting on top of the yellow -
This is an amazing person!

Matthew took several pictures and showed them to Kyliejo. After she looked, she threw her arms around Carlee
’s neck. “I love that! C’mon Mum, your turn!”

With great dread,
Johanna took the shaver, and they all watched. “I’m scared.”

“You can’t hurt her, if that’s your fear,” Carlee said. “Let me hold your hand. Show me where you want to start.”

Johanna allowed Carlee to guide her hand. She chose to do as Carlee had done to the left of the area already shaved. Carlee began with her, but slipped her hand away. Johanna made the pass with the shaver and then another on the right, and Kyliejo giggled the whole time. Finally, she completed the task. She left what Carlee had written and drew hearts and flowers all over her head as Matthew took pictures.

Johanna
leaned to Carlee when she was done and whispered, “Thank you, for all of this.”

~ ~ ~

They signed off the computers and Matthew asked Carlee; “do you feel up to more pictures, or we can wait,” he said.

“Kyliejo, do you want some pretty pictures now?” she nodded and turned to Geni and
Johanna. “Are you to ready to tie some fancy scarves on us?”

“Let’s do it!” Geni said.

Matthew got some beautiful shots of Carlee, Carlee and Geni, Kyliejo, and then Carlee and Kyliejo. He saw some beautiful images as he peeked at them. He also saw that Carlee was looking tired.

“I think that’s a wrap ladies! I’ll show you the pictures later,” he said.

~ ~ ~

“I’m getting hungry,” Carlee said after a while.

Andy and Geni went to the kitchen to get dinner ready. Kyliejo went to the living room with her mom
, and Matthew started to clean up. He noticed Carlee pick up a handful of hair.

“You OK?” he asked her.

“Yes,” she said and smiled at him. “It’s only hair…”

~ ~ ~

After dinner, when the meal was cleared away, they all settled on the sofa, and Matthew prepared the slideshow to run on the TV. “Ready?” he asked and they all said yes.

Carlee snuggled up against him as they watched. Some were fun, some were beautiful, but with each picture they viewed, Carlee was more delighted that they
had done it. And with each image they saw, Matthew loved her more. Johanna seemed to enjoy Kyliejo’s glee over the whole thing when she saw the pictures.

Finally ready to call it a night, everyone said goodnight. Andy kissed her and started for the door.

“Papa, I love you,” Carlee said in a tone that made Andy stop.

“What do you want?” he laughed, “I know that tone, you’re fixin’ to drip some sugar because you want something. What is it?”

“Next time you cook, I want macaroni and cheese for dinner,” she laughed.

He walked over and kissed her baldhead. “Bald really is beautiful,” he said. “I love you, sweet girl.”

~ ~ ~

Geni got ready for bed
. Andy was already lying there reading when she crawled in. “You got awfully quiet; everything OK?” she asked.

He put what he was reading aside
, and she curled closer. “She just blows me away, Geni,” he said.

“I know, I wondered how you would respond. Hell, I wondered how I would when I picked that shaver up.” She smiled at him
, and he wrapped his arm around her. Pulling her to him, he kissed the top of her head.

“Geni…” he started, “I need to share something, but I don’t want it to make you uncomfortable.”

“If it starts to feel that way, I’ll tell you,” she said.

“I was thinking about her mama.
I’ve learned a lot through this experience. With Beth, the cancer was too far along when they found it. She decided that she wasn’t going to seek any treatment, only comfort care. Watching Carlee go through this, I wonder how Beth would react.”

Geni just listened.

“Beth knew that treatment wouldn’t help, but she didn’t want Carlee to remember her with no hair, and here she is… shaving her head, bald as a cue ball, letting us draw it…”

“Thank you,” he said finally.

“For?”

“For all of this, for Carlee, for us, for being here with me for them, for this afternoon… thank you,” he said again.

“I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t love them,” she said, and hesitated, “if I didn’t love you.”

He pulled her into his arms and replied with t
hose words he never thought he would ever say to a woman again; “I love you too, Geni.”
Isn’t it funny how sometimes it’s something bad that brings two people close, brings them to a place where they share their lives?
He thought again,
something awful is what brought Carlee to my life…

Chapter Fourteen

After they were all gone,
Carlee rested. Matthew saw earlier that it seemed she wasn’t feeling well and slipped her the meds as soon as he noticed. He joined her on the sofa after he finished cleaning up the kitchen.

“You seem
nice and mellow,” Matthew said.

“I feel good.
Thanks for druggin’ me up.” A heavy sigh escaped, and she continued, “After we sit here a while can we get a shower?”

“I think I like that ‘
can we get a shower’ thing – a lot,” he laughed.

~ ~ ~

After he got her settled on the shower chair, he grabbed the shampoo and stopped. I guess we don’t need that. She giggled and said, “Wash my head and make sure all the marker stuff is off.”

His hands gently rubbed her head, letting the soapy water run down her body. Suddenly she stood up.

“Everything OK?”

“Better than OK,” she said
. “You sit down.”

He did and she sat on his lap. “I like the way you think,” he said.

“Show me what I’m thinking now,” she said.

~ ~ ~

“Wow, what a shower!” Matthew laughed as she crawled in the bed.

“I’ll say,” she snickered.  She rubbed her head with the towel. “And it
was easy, no tangles, no blow dry…”

“I have to confess,” Matthew said. “I’ll miss those curls until I figure out what to do with my hands.”

“I think your hands made out just fine without them,” she said and curled into his arms.

“I want to tell you an idea that I had as I looked at the pictures. If I can brag, they are really good. I’d like to forward them to Dean Rollins. Who knows what kind of response these will get.” He said, and then added “or what kind of peace they could bring to someone struggling with their own hair loss.”

“Matthew, I love you. I’m sorry we have to go through this, but I’m glad it’s you who’s walking beside me.”

“I am blessed by you, Carlee. Not just your love
- your strength and courage are amazing, and I’m a better person now than I was six months ago.”

“Geez, Matthew, don’t make me cry.”

“I just want you to know how important you are to me…”

~ ~ ~

Monday morning when she woke, Geni found Andy at the table with the keyboard hooked to the laptop, and he was wearing a headset to keep the sound only for his ears. She watched and saw him, eyes closed, fingers delicately moving across keys, and she saw a different passion on his face. She slipped to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee and returned to the table to get his cup.

“Good morning,” he said, slipping the headset off.

“What’re you working on?” she asked as she set the cup down for him.

“Remember when Carlee was first diagnosed
, I had some lyrics come to me?” he said and Geni nodded.

“The other day when you and Matthew ran out to get the supplies to shave her head
, she said something to me, and I woke up hearing it in those lyrics. I’m playing with it, sending it to Marco for some feedback and tweaks.”

He unplugged the keyboard from the computer so she could hear. Again,
his eyes closed, she watched him as he played the tune and began to sing.

You’re a place in my heart

I
t will never beat the same

I remember the first
time I saw you

Sometimes it’s just a whisper

But I always hear your name

You’re a place in my heart

With a smile that’s warmed me inside out

It’s what this sweet life’s all about

I’ve watch you in a crowded room

I’ve seen sweet love glow and bloom

You’re a place in my heart

A
blessing that’s turned my life around

You’re a place in my heart

That made that life a better place

A place where I see my past,

My now and the future ahead

A place where happiness lives and gives and gathers…

“Andy, it’s so beautiful. It was beautiful before, but now it’
s even more so.”

“The Blessing,” he said.

~ ~ ~

Carlee was still on the upside of the medications, feeling really good, when Geni arrived to take her for treatment. When they entered the waiting area, Seth, the radiotherapy tech, was in the lobby waiting. “WOW!” he exclaimed. “WOW!” he said again. “Look at you!”

Carlee laughed. “It was the drugs! Saturday morning was rough - Matthew finally had to fill those two prescriptions
, and I got wild!”

Kyliejo entered as Tamara came around the corner to see what the commotion was. “Oh, my goodness! Look how beautiful you are!” She ran her hands playfully over Carlee’s head and then Kyliejo’s and laughed.

“Kyliejo came to watch and decided to do hers too. Matthew took pictures and everything,” Carlee laughed turning to hug the little girl. “He’s sending them to our friend Dean Rollins. He’s the President of the Cancer Foundation in the U.S.”

“What a wonderful idea!”
Tamara said. “I’d sure love to see those pictures!”

“I’ll tell Matthew to print a few,” Carlee said.

“Ready?” Seth asked.

“Yep, see you in a bit,” she said and turned to follow Seth through the door.

Geni took a seat, and Johanna told her she’d be back; she had an errand to run. She opened the tablet and started reading.

~ ~ ~

When Carlee came out after the treatment, she sat on the sofa and saw Geni close the tablet as Johanna entered.

“They’re running late this morning,” Carlee told Johanna. “I just came out.”

“How are you feeling?” Geni asked.

“OK for now, but I think we should head out. Tell Kyliejo I’ll see her tomorrow,” Carlee told her.

Geni was up to the part of the book where they’d just celebrated Beth’s 30
th
birthday. She thought about their ups and downs to that point, thinking how different Andy was from
that
man Andy was now.
He needed Carlee
as much as she needed him.

~ ~ ~

In the car as they drove, Geni turned to Carlee. “Do you mind talking about the book for a minute?”

“Not at all,” she replied.

“I remember Matthew telling me that he read it because he wanted to know more about you and learning about your mama was a way to help him do that. For me, I wanted to know about Andy. As I read, I thought about that lifestyle, always on the road, never at home – I don’t know how they made it through any of that. I couldn’t have. I guess that’s why this flat makes being here easier. I can cook, I can clean, and it’s a normal life. But as I read, I also read about a man I don’t seem to know.”

“He grew from his pain, and then
…” Carlee paused because she didn’t want to cry. “He saved me, Geni. My dad was so hurt over everything in the end, Mama’s illness and then Papa’s return, that I think there wasn’t a place in his heart for me; well maybe a small place. When he died, there was a letter explaining to me that he wore his pain ‘like a shield,’ but all I could think about was, what about me, I hurt too!” she was no longer trying to hold back, the tears were streaming down her cheeks. Geni handed her a tissue from the pocket in the car door.

“Carlee, if you want to stop
, we can. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, I think you’
re getting to something important, and sometimes we have to struggle through to get there.”

Geni
thought about those words and found them profound, thinking about all the struggles she’s had to endure.

“I don’t think Andy saved you
; I think you saved each other. He is not the same man today that I read about. He is caring and giving,” she paused, “and committed and devoted. I don’t know why things happen as they do; I do believe that there is a master plan somewhere that says ‘this is what will happen in your life’ but we aren’t privy to that information. And I believe that sometimes, as you just said, we have to ‘struggle through to get there,’ wherever ‘there’ is. I feel badly about all those ups and downs in your mama’s life with him, but those struggles brought him into your life. And God bringing you into Matthew’s life gave me gifts too - you and Andy. I want to thank you for him. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I am in love with ‘now.’”

~ ~ ~

Matthew emailed some of the photos of Carlee and Kyliejo to Dean Rollins that morning, and as he was driving home, his phone rang. “Hello there! Calling because you got my email?”

“I am,” Dean said, but it was an emotional voice that replied. “My entire staff is a blubbering mess over the beautiful images that you shared. I am still in disbelief that she did this.”

“But isn’t she beautiful?” Matthew asked.

“That beauty is more than her appearance, Mr. Davis,” he replied.

“Don’t I know it!?” Matthew laughed. “What did you think of my idea?”

“We are all in awe that Carlee would share these with us – with the world. We love the ide
a, and once we have it together on this end, we’ll be in touch. I assume the little girl is the one Andy called me about.”

“Kyliejo Smithson,” Matthew replied.

“We are looking forward to meeting her. I’ll be over soon. Matthew, thank you.”

“It’
s our pleasure. It made Carlee happy, and for me that was a big thing; she’s dreading that she won’t be able to attend camp this year,” Matthew said.

“I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ll tell you what we are thinking when I see you. We’ll talk soon.”

~ ~ ~

Andy had been on the
internet all morning, looking up recipes. He found one for macaroni and cheese that sounded good and like something he could master. After she was asleep, Geni ran out to get what he needed, while Andy sat with Carlee. When she returned, Andy made his way to the kitchen and started, determined to make it for Carlee for dinner.

“No help,” he declared. He worked diligently until he had it all together, ready to put in the oven, and then joined them in the living room.
Geni had been reading and put the tablet aside so they could talk. Excitement filled Andy’s voice as he talked about the upcoming concert.

Matthew arrived home and Carlee was just waking up. “Hello beautiful wife.” She had a
light cotton beanie cap on because she was cold, and he pulled it off to kiss her head.

“Hey handsome,
” she said in a sleep-gravely voice.

“Well, I have some news to share,” he said. “I’m glad y
ou’re both here.”

“What is it?” Carlee as
ked. She sat up, anxious to hear what he was going to share.

“The Cancer Foundation is going to use the pictures!” he told them, excitedly.
He shared the conversation he’d had with Dean Rollins, and everyone was thrilled.

Carlee inhaled big, “Something smells yummy!
What’s for dinner, Papa? I’m starving,” Carlee said.

Andy rose from the sofa and reached for her hand. “Come with me
; it’s a surprise.”

He noticed how rea
lly tiny she looked; she’d lost a lot of weight, so he hoped he’d hit on something that Carlee could, and would, eat. He opened the oven door, and the smell wafted out. “Wow, that smells incredible! What is it?”

“Gussied
-up mac and cheese!” Matthew and Geni entered the kitchen as he said the words, “And I made it – no help from anyone. You told me next time I cooked you wanted mac and cheese, and I found a recipe. I hope you’ll like it,” he said.

“Well, let’s dive in!” Carlee said
, and Andy was happy that she seemed in good spirits. She helped Geni set the table, and they gathered there to eat. Andy pushed the casserole toward her and handed her a spoon. She heaped a spoonful on her plate and passed it to Matthew. Taking the fork, she moved it around for a look: elbow noodles with what appeared to be cheddar cheese, and it looked deliciously creamy. Finally she took a bite. “Wow, Papa! I taste butter and cream… So fattening and yummy!”

“Gruyer
e, Fontina, cheddar, and Asiago cheese, butter, heavy cream and some dried mustard, onion powder, and nutmeg. It called for some crunchy bread crumbs and bacon, but I didn’t know how that would feel with your mouth being sore.”

“It’s perfect, Papa. I love it, and I
hope you kept the recipe.”