Feelin' the Vibe (8 page)

After slipping on some pajamas, I walked out of the bedroom en route to the kitchen. But I guess I was affection starved,
because I stopped by Morgan’s bedroom and climbed into her queen-sized bed. Her room was always a peaceful retreat, because
it reminded me of Tanisha. Pictures of her were everywhere, and her angelic spirit lurked there. Whenever I needed a hug,
I went there.

I lay there, trying to close my eyes, tracing every second since the ugly argument in the car. It just wasn’t clear. I wanted
to talk to Kenneth, but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t being a burden for no reason. So I figured it was best if I hid out
in Morgan’s room until he left. He used to ask for my assistance during events, but I had become more and more private when
people began to ask about our pregnancy progress. At one point, I was so involved in his business that I knew all the interworking,
event plans, workshops, and summits. Now, I’m lucky if I know anything.

I drifted off to sleep and popped up around eight-thirty. Now in a mad rush to make it to my nine o’clock weekly staff meeting,
I stormed out of Morgan’s room and into mine. The bed was made and the television was off. The house was completely quiet.
After turning on the shower, I couldn’t resist the urge to call Kenneth.

“Why didn’t you wake me up before you left?”

“I left at seven-thirty. I didn’t expect you to oversleep.”

“Okay, whatever. I’ll call you later.”

I thought my snapping would cause him to soften up, to want to make me happy. He said, “Alright.” Then he hung up.

The water tapping rapidly on the porcelain shower floor reflected my tingling nerves. When I stepped out of the steamy shower,
I was determined to take back the power. Whatever was on Kenneth’s mind, whatever was bothering him was not and could not
be related to me. At least, I didn’t plan to carry the burden for the rest of the day.

T
he press conference was at twelve. It was now ten and Taylor had yet to understand my position. She was literally pouting
like a damn baby. Our five-thousand-square-foot house made it easy for her to avoid me. I hoped when I walked downstairs I’d
find her doing our regular Saturday ritual. Unfortunately, I didn’t smell her burning turkey bacon. Something told me I’d
be eating a bowl of GOLEAN cereal before the meeting.

After we came in from the hospital the previous night, she cried and repeatedly told me how selfish I was. I argued my point,
but she was determined that I pull out. Needless to say, we were going to have to agree to disagree. Wasn’t totally sure what
the ramifications of her not being there this morning would be, but I was definitely convinced it was my time.

As I entered the kitchen, I heard the garage door and I looked out of the sunroom to see Taylor’s white Mercedes CLS backing
out of the garage. She had her cell phone up to her ear and I ran my hand down my face. She was bundled in her black bomber
jacket with a yellow scarf and hat. I picked up the cordless phone in the kitchen and dialed her number.

She didn’t pick up and that made me angry. It seemed like she wanted to make me sweat. I pulled out the champagne that I bought
for us to share the night before and made a mimosa. As I sipped, I dialed my daughter. The phone half-rang before she picked
up.

“Hey, Daddy.”

Her voice alleviated all my stress. “Hey, sweetie.”

“Daddy, guess what? I already wrote my Christmas list and all I want is a new laptop. I want a white one.”

I chuckled. “Nicole, do you know you have a MacBook Pro? It’s silver because it’s more powerful than the white one.”

“Well, I don’t want it to be powerful, Daddy. I want it to be pretty.”

“Nicole, you are a trip.”

“Why didn’t you call me last night? You said that you might come to see me last night.”

I sighed. I’d completely forgot that it was my weekend to go to New York. “Baby, I had some things to take care of. I may
come up for a couple of days next week.”

“Well, I have a sleepover next week. So don’t come then.”

“Okay, I’ll check your schedule before I come.”

She giggled. It felt good that I could do no wrong in her eyes. Why can’t grown women be the same? The line clicked as Nicole
talked about her Friday in school. It was Taylor. I was on a much more important call, so she had to wait now.

After I chatted with Nicole my ex-wife, Jennifer, got on the phone. I said, “Guess what?” I waited for her response, but she
waited for my story. I continued, “I’m running for Congress.”

She screamed. “Really, Devin. Oh my God, that’s so wonderful. I mean, when, how? I want all the details.”

“Actually, in the upcoming election. It was really fate. A really good congressman has taken the seat for years and he decided
to retire at the last minute. He actually handpicked me. I’d worked on some committees with him in the last couple of years.
The Young Democrats are behind me. Money is pouring in. My parents put up the base capital. So it’s on. I’ll be announcing
it today.”

“Oh my goodness. Devin, I wish I could be there.”

“Thanks, Jennifer.”

“So, what do you think your chances are?”

“We think they’re pretty good.”

“Devin, you really deserve this. I know you’ll be great.”

I leaned on the granite countertop and appreciated her support. Jennifer and I hadn’t always been so close. In fact, there
were years when I hated her, but all in all, she’d always understood my professional aspirations. Jennifer is a New York state’s
attorney, and she ultimately plans to run for district judge. So she knew how important public office was for me. I reflected
on my conversation with Mrs. Jabowski. What if I had stuck in there with Jennifer—how would my life be different? Just as
the thought popped in, reality set in. Jennifer and I started out with a lie. She went as far as taking safety pins and poking
holes in my condom packets, hoping to get pregnant when we’d been dating for only a month. I love my little Nicole, but I
could never be with Jennifer like that. I guess everybody has a different issue. It’s all about what you can live with. We
chatted for a while longer, and she pledged to support my campaign in any way possible.

Finally, I dialed Taylor back. She picked up right away, but her tone was cold. She said, “Yeah, I was just calling to give
you a status on my father. That’s if you care.”

I took a deep breath. “How’s he doing?”

“His speech will be fine. They want him to stay out of the pulpit for a few months, which will probably give him a heart attack.
But aside from that, it looks like he’ll have a complete recovery. So that’s a blessing. And his spirits are good.”

“Well, I’ll come to the hospital after the press conference.”

Seconds passed before she spoke. “Well, have a good day.”

It was good that at least she didn’t sound completely angry, but I couldn’t understand why she refused to be beside her man.
I looked up at the clock and contemplated if I should ask. Even if she rushed home and changed her clothes, she wouldn’t make
it.

We decided to break in the conference room at the campaign office. Several volunteers were there to set up the office with
snacks and drinks for our open house and candidacy announcement. When I pulled up, Curtis sat in his car talking on the phone.
I hopped out of my car and Curtis followed suit. He nodded.

“Man, you clean! See, you look like you belong on the Hill. That’s a nice cashmere coat you wearing.”

“Get out of here.”

We headed into the office and I put my coat on the rack. Curtis continued, “You got the Italian suit. A nice ten-thousand-dollar
watch. Cuff links. Monogrammed shirt.”

I laughed. “Man, get out of here.”

Then he frowned. “Where’s your wife?”

“Look, man. She’s not here.”

“Wait. She knows you filed, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

“Man, she let you come out of the house looking and smelling like money, to announce to all of Prince George’s County that
you running for a major election, and she’s not here? Either she don’t love you or you pissed her off.” He laughed.

“Nah, man. You know her father is in the hospital.”

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, ’cause we’re betting on his congregation for support.” He continued, “The other members of the Young Democrats should
be here soon. That is if some of them aren’t already here.”

We walked into the conference room. People began to pour in as my conscience began to mess with me. It didn’t feel right not
to have her approval. Before the media arrived, I stepped out to call Taylor. When she picked up, I said, “I searched a long
time for you and I don’t want to lose you because of this. So I’m begging for your support and I’m asking you to forgive me.
And if you can’t do it, I will pull out of the race. We have until Monday morning to find another candidate.”

I crossed my fingers, because I really didn’t mean it. She sighed, “Devin, I’m very mad at you because we talked about this,
but I know this is something you really want and I don’t want to hold you back, because I don’t want you to resent me. I’ll
try to support you.”

I wiped the sweat from my forehead and headed back into the room. Seconds later, I looked up to find Taylor walking into the
conference room. She wore a black Gucci pantsuit I had bought her with a zebra print collar shirt. I stood in shock as she
removed her sunglasses from the top of her head and ran a finger over the longer side of her hair. Curtis yanked me in the
opposite direction. I told him to hold up and walked over to Taylor. She smiled tightly.

“Thank you, baby. Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they want you over there.”

I grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the podium with me. It meant everything to me to have her there. I wanted to be
the politician with the humble but powerful wife by his side. The lights came on, and I held Taylor’s hand and took questions.
It now felt right. When the press conference was over, I hugged her. When she showed up, it made me feel better about marrying
her. I’d begun to wonder if I got it wrong again, and I hadn’t been prepared to deal with the ramifications of another bad
marriage.

W
hen the girls came home for Christmas, they breathed life into the house for those four short weeks. I literally wished I
could interrupt their education and force both of them to come home. Kenneth even seemed relaxed when they were here. But
when they left in the middle of January, things returned to normal. As of late, normal for us was each calling to see when
the other would be home, finding out what we were eating, and sleeping with our backs to each other. We had problems, but
neither of us wanted to confront them. As long as he wanted to be stubborn, I was committed to being more stubborn. He was
there physically, but his mind and heart were somewhere else. Consequently, the hostility grew like weeds between us. We were
tangled up and couldn’t find our way out. So he worked late and I worked as much as possible. Otherwise, I would have lost
my mind.

My girls at the group home had done more activities than our budget provided for. So I sat at my desk going over grant proposals
and planning fund-raising activities. I heard Ms. Teeny outside my office talking to one of the girls. I was certain she was
on her way to my office to get me offtrack. I loved having Ms. Teeny working with me. She was the comic relief that I needed.
She was all of four foot eleven, 110 pounds, and brown skin with small Asian eyes, and she was so animated that everything
she said made me crack up laughing. When I complained about Kenneth, she’d say cheat on him and that would make things better
in time. I wasn’t sure how much time I had. I’d rather be alone than in a home with someone who won’t talk. That life is for
the birds. She walked into my office, carrying a stack of mail. So I’m not totally sure how many times she called my name,
but when I looked up, she had a confused expression. I smiled. “What’s up?”

Ms. Teeny said, “You know after the beginning of the year they start posting a lot of free teen seminars, and we have to register
for them now.”