Feral (8 page)

“What’s the difference?” I rebutted.  “Jack saw us together this morning.”

“Because Jack won’t talk!” Icarus roared, veins popping out along his neck and forehead.  The last time I saw anyone this angry, my father was chastising Bennie and me for gouging the paint of his beamer.  We were having a water fight with the super soakers and accidentally knocked over the bicycle, which in turn upended the rack holding the rakes and shovels.  My father never hit us, but if there was ever a time I thought he might, it was then.

“You can’t go home,
Thaleia.  You do understand that, don’t you?”

Nodding, my eyes brimmed with tears.  I couldn’t take the chance of harming Bennie or my parents.  Still, this was all confusing and overwhelming to me.  Instead of explaining things, he growled at me, and when he wasn’t growling, he disappeared entirely, leaving me in the dark.

“Stop yelling at her,” Caius growled.  “You’re scaring her.”

“Would you rather I shout at you?  I should’ve ended this last night, but against my better judgment, I listened to you and brought her home!  Now look at the trouble she’s caused!  The police have seen her with us when she should’ve disappeared entirely!  Who do you think they’re going to come to when her parents report her missing?”

Bacchus crossed his arms over his chest, his jaw set obstinately.  “You don’t want her around, we’ll leave.”

“She goes, we go,” Caius agreed.  “We’re not abandoning her.”

“I wasn’t talking about abandoning her.”

Snarling, the wonder twins stepped in front of me, blocking Icarus’s line of sight.  A shiver rolled down my spine.  Was Icarus threatening to kill me?  Were the twins actually willing to fight him over me?  Could I let them do that—pit brother against brother?  They weren’t technically brothers, but they were blood.  Icarus raised them, forming a bond if not stronger than kinship.  For all intents and purposes, he was much more than a brother to them.

“I’m not here to break up anyone’s family,” I said, stepping around Bacchus’s side.  “If you don’t want me around, I’ll go to Marcus for help.  This was his fault anyway.  He owes me.”

“No!” Bacchus growled,
grabbing my arm in a bruising vise.  “Are you insane, Thale?  You can’t trust him!  He left you there for dead!”

“Did he?” I countered.  “Or did he leave because he was outnumbered by six?”

“Bacchus is right,” Icarus said resignedly.  “He’s a rogue.  He’s already proven how dangerous he is.”

“I dated him for over a year and he never lifted a finger to me, and you agreed with Hailey that he only attacked me because I ran.”

“And his dick accidentally slipped into your friend,” Caius said with a smirk.

I didn’t dignify that with a response.  He was hitting below the belt.  I was sure that I could trust Marcus enough to help me.  He’d never forced himself on me in the year we were together.  If I said stop, he stopped.  He sulked afterwards, but show me a boy who didn’t.

“Unless you’re going to forbid me to leave with your imperious voice trick, I’m going.  You obviously have your own issues and I don’t want to be the center of them.”

Disconsolate, I trudged through the park ignoring the argument behind me.  Part of me hoped Icarus would jump me from behind and put an end to it all.  I wouldn’t see it coming.  Hopefully it would be quick, and wouldn’t hurt.  It beat worrying over my prospective future.

By the time I reached the curb, I was nearly jogging.  I loped across the street and turned the corner, watching the ground at my feet, my hair draping around my face, hiding my red, puffy eyes.  The eyes of every neighbor bore into me, watching as I made a spectacle of myself.

See
Thale run.  See Thale cry.  See Thale fall to her knees and turn into a bloodthirsty beast.  I giggled hysterically, muffling it with the back of my hand.  Christ, I was losing it.

“
Thaleia!”

I froze, knowing the voice all too well.  Lifting my head, my father jumped from his beamer, rushing in my direction.  I felt immediately relieved, yet horror-struck.

“Peter, Paul and Mary!” my mother exclaimed, joining him.  “Where in the Sam Hill have you been?  We’ve been looking for you for hours!  Have you been crying?”  Freezing, my mother’s eyes took on the mother-of-all-fears look.  “Are you hurt?  What happened to you?”

“Easy,
Mare,” my dad said.  “Let her answer one question at a time.”

God, where did I start?  What did I say?  Sorry Mom and Dad, but I can’t come home with you.  I was mauled by a werewolf.  Well, and you know how allergic Mom is
to pet dander.  Can’t have her sneezing in the acai berry smoothies.  What would the customers say?

“Marcus cheated on me.”  It was effective, and it wasn’t a lie.

“Oh dear,” Mom gasped, dragging me into a huge hug.  My dad hovered in the middle of the street, tongue-tied.  He glanced to his beamer and back then slowly sidled closer to his car where he could escape the atrocity of his baby girl’s dating tribulations.

“I’ll wait in the car,” he said apologetically.

“Are you sure?” Mom asked me.  “It’s not just a nasty rumor?”

“Oh, yeah, there’s no doubt about
it.  I walked in on them.  Peyton dressed up as a nurse for Halloween.  I’d say she was actively checking his blood pressure.”

“Oh, Peyton,” Mom tsk’d.

(Yeah, that’s what Marcus said, too.)

“
Thale, you used protection, right?”

“Mom!” I snapped.  “Why do you always have to go there?”

“Because I’m your mother and it's my job.  If Marcus was with Peyton, God only knows where else he’s been.  With all the things you could catch…”

She had no idea.

Aghast, I glanced around, but found neither the twins, nor Icarus in sight.  I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation.  Right now.  In the middle of the street.  Unfortunately, Mom was indefatigable when on a mission.  I knew I would do best to answer her questions.

“Well if you must know, I never slept with him.”

Mom sighed, mildly satisfied, but I knew better.  The inquisition wasn’t over by a long shot.  She was just winding up.  Like me, I could see it in her stance, the cock of her hip, the set of her jaw, the way she folded her arms over her chest.  I emulated her resolve.

“Ok,
Thaleia, so I know why you didn’t ride home with Marcus last night, but where did you stay, and why haven’t you answered your cell?  Your father and I have been worried sick.  Some boy named Jack called the house and said that he thought you might be in trouble.  We’ve been looking for you all morning.  The police won’t officially do anything for twenty four hours since your eighteen, and technically a legal adult.”

I took a moment to gather my thoughts.  It was best if I stuck to the truth as much as possible.  “There was a girl at the party that I go to school with, and she wasn’t feeling well.  I helped Jack get her up the stairs and into a bedroom.  And that was when I found Marcus and Peyton. 
I was upset, so I went outside to get some fresh air, but when I got outside, there was this young girl there.  Hailey.  I knew she was too young to be at the party, so I walked her home.  But there was no one home and I didn’t want to leave her there by herself so I stayed.”

“What was she doing there in the first place?”

“She has six old brothers—well cousins—but they’re like brothers to her.  Anyway, they were all at the party, and they left her outside.”

“Where were her parents while they were off partying?”

“Oh, they died.  They went on vacation with her Aunt and Uncle and their plane crashed.  The oldest cousin raised them all.  But he’s off on business a lot.  It’s sad really.  I felt bad for her, and since her brothers seem so irresponsible, I figured I would stay with her until he returned from his business trip.”

“This Jack, he called because—”

“I ran out after I found Marcus and Peyton together.  Maybe he was worried because I never came back.”

“Smart boy.”  Mom ran her hands through her hair, pushing it from her face.  “Where is this house you’re staying at?”

“Right there,” I said succinctly, pointing at said house.  It was a beautiful house, two stories with a wraparound porch on the first floor.  The fascia was stone, mixed with cement board siding in a rich shade of sienna.  The inside was immaculate.  I know because I just cleaned it.  Nevertheless, I’d rather not give her the tour.

“Come on
then,” she said, starting for the car.  “I’d like to meet Hailey.  It was Hailey, right?”

My shoulders slumped in defeat.  “Yes.”

Hesitating, my mom turned to me as if she just thought of something.  “Where were you coming from just now?”

“Their dog ran away.”

“Do you need to find it?  We could drive around the block…”

“No, he’s probably home already.”  Glowering, I slid into the backseat of the beamer, and for a brief moment, I thought I could talk them into taking me home, but before I could close the door, I heard a bark, and in jumped a massive black wolf.  He plopped down in the seat next to me as I sputtered for him to get out.  My dad was having a coronary behind the wheel, his face turning
puce.

“Get him out of my car
Thale!  My leather seats!  The nails!  Watch his nails!  Push him out!  Out dog!” he shouted.  “Out!  Down!  Heel!”

“Gabe!” my mom shouted.  “Just drive!  It’s only down the street!”

Mirroring my mood, my dad ceded and shifted the car into drive.  “Perhaps they should have that dog neutered.  It’s supposed to calm them down.  Promote obedience.”

I pinched my mouth shut, taking in Icarus’s pale blue eyes.

Consternated, I followed Icarus up the walk, my parents trailing inquisitively behind.  Could it get any more awkward, I wondered,
and then quickly berated myself for the thought.  Yes, it could, indubitably.  And it would the moment I led them through the doors and into the den belonging to none other than a pack of lycanthrope.

“The house is beautiful,” Mom observed.  “He does well for them.”

“Mm,” I murmured evasively.  I dithered on whether I should knock or not, but tugged the door open and let Icarus run in first.  Stumping me, Hailey squealed loudly and wrapped her arms around his scruffy neck, tugging him into an ardent and most un-Hailey like embrace.

“You found him!” she crowed, raking her fingers into his thick, black fur.

Explaining Hailey’s atypical behavior, Caius and Bacchus lounged on the sofa, their feet propped leisurely on the coffee table.  Gears of War blared obnoxiously from the television.  Upon our entrance, they looked up, eyes sparkling smugly for those aware of their charade.  They had listened to my whole conversation.  I couldn’t fathom why this should surprise me.  In any event, Icarus had sent them ahead to warn the others of my parent’s impromptu visit while he thwarted any attempt I might have devised to escape by jumping into the car.

Playing the part of any normal
Middle American family, Max and Lucius sat at the island, picking at the remains of my macaroni and cheese.  Crispin slumped on the sofa, listening to his iPod and reading a book that looked like Stephen King’s ‘Silver Bullet.’  Hailey continued to make a fuss over Icarus, putting on the performance of a lifetime.

“Hailey, why don’t you go lock him in the laundry,” I suggested, turning to my parents.  “He tends to sniff people’s crotches.  And he bites.  He’s mean.  And short-tempered.  Bad dog.”

I scowled, joining their pretense.

Glaring, Hailey followed Icarus through the kitchen.  I suppose she didn’t share my opinion of her alpha.  Oh well.  I wasn’t so fond of her either.  Sympathetic, yes, but leery.

“Mom, Dad,” I began, “this is Caius and Bacchus,” I gestured toward the twins, who smiled roguishly and shook Dad’s hand, “Maximillian, Lucius, and Crispin.”

“Crispianus,” said Crispin, proudly.

“Such strong names,” my mom praised, shaking his hand with both of hers.  She liked Crispin.  Doubtlessly he reminded her of Bennie.

“Family names,” Lucius explained.  “Said to date back to Romulus and Remus.”

“The founders of Rome,” Dad said.  “Twin rulers suckled by the Capitoline wolf.  That’s quite a lineage you have.”

“Dad’s a history buff,” I explained, as if it were an excuse.

Returning from locking Icarus away, Hailey beamed widely at my parents.  “Hi Mr. and Mrs. Llorente!  Thaleia can spend the night, can’t she?  Please, please, please!  We already made plans to paint our nails and do our hair!  And we rented some movies. G
irly
movies.  If Thale goes home, my brothers will never let me watch them.  So she
has
to stay.”

Adding to the charade, she clung to my arm, hopping up and down on her toes, batting her ingenuous eyelashes at my parents.  They never stood a chance.  She had an uncanny talent for inducing pity.  The girl could charm the skin from a rattlesnake with those eyes.
  I, myself, was impressed with her ability to transform into a virtual angel.  Especially when I knew she was the devil incarnate.

“You can stay,” Mom caved.  “But
remember to turn your phone on.”

I forced a smile.  “I will.”

After embarrassing me with a hug, which I brushed aside because I didn’t know what direction my life was about to turn, my parents left, chatting freely as they ambled down the pathway to the car.  The group of us huddled behind the drapes, spying.  The boys, with their keen supernatural hearing, all laughed at something my Mom said and then grew abruptly sober, glancing appraisingly in my direction.

“What?” I snapped self-consciously.  “What did
she say?”

Max sighed
and excused himself from the room.  Crispin stuffed his earbuds back into his ears, flushing.  Caius and Bacchus ignored me, diving back into their game with renewed enthusiasm.  Lucius scoffed and rolled his eyes.  At whom, I wasn’t sure.

“I know you heard
her!” I pressed, turning to Hailey.  Surely, she would tell me.  Us girls, we had to stick together.  She blinked, apathetic.

“So boys don’t float your boat.  There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

I bubbled a laugh.  “I’m not gay.”

Hailey shrugged and left the room.

I whirled, meeting Bacchus’s eyes.  “Seriously.  I’m not.”

“Doesn’t bother me.”

Caius shrugged indifferently and grabbed his crotch in a gross display of machismo.  “Sugar, I got the cure for that right here.”

“That’s not
funny.”

“Chill, Thale, it was a joke.
  Have a sense of humor.”

“
Seriously,” Lucius concurred.  “Caius is far from homophobic.  Although, it was much funnier when he said it to me.”

Oh.  Well, that made sense. 
If Lucius was gay, Caius would be the last person to lure him to the straight side.  I guess Caius’s comment would be funny in a completely sarcastic way—to which I could fully relate.  Sarcasm in my household was as coveted as caffeinated beverages in the morning.

“Don’t be so surprised.  Not all gays are fashion-forward and have lisps.”

“No, but you
are
a werewolf.”

“We’re
lycan
.  Werewolf is so cliché.  And we’re not without diversity.  In fact, we’re probably more accepting of it than humans.”

“
Why is that?”

“
I’ll explain it to you someday when you’re more acquainted with our kind.”  Leaning against the wall, Lucius crossed his arms over his chest.  “You want to know why everyone looks so disappointed, well, how did you look at me a minute ago?”

Like it was a loss for the female race.  Lucius was some serious eye candy.

“Exactly, only you’re lycan now.  The loss is twofold.”  Because woman didn’t often survive the change.  Females were few in number and coveted among the lycan population.

“Whatever.” 
How concerned for my welfare they were only minutes ago.  Now, Crispin wouldn’t even acknowledge me.  Lucius and Max couldn’t even suffer to be in the same room.  They weren’t any different from any other boy.  I shouldn’t have expected otherwise.  Shallow, insensitive, predictable creatures they were.

My parents, they were a different story.

Infuriated, I went in search of my cell phone.  How could my mother infer doubts about my sexual preference?  Don’t mistake me; I had nothing against the notion, except that I wasn’t a lesbian.  I was thoroughly attracted to the male anatomy, just not the puny brains they were born with.  Nevertheless, for my mother to suggest I was anything other than heterosexual because I hadn’t slept with Marcus was entirely despicable.  I never felt so affronted.

Throwing the door to the bedroom open, I found one fine male specimen standing in his prime.  I paid him no mind as I entered the room and retrieved my cell from the bedside table.

“Come right in,” Icarus mused, sliding on a pair of jeans.

“Just one of the guys, right?”

“Give them a few hours.  They’ll come to their senses.”

“What do I care?  I’m leaving anyways.  Let them think what they want.  They’re probably envisioning me making out with some hot brunette right now.”  Switching my cell on, I paged through my messages.  Ten missed calls from my parents.  Six from Marcus.  Nineteen from Peyton.  Skank.  How could she think I’d talk to her?  True friends along with respectable men I was beginning to think were fictional, existing only in my far-fetched, idealistic brain.

“How long do I have until the moon waxes?”

“A week and a half, two weeks
before you feel the full effect.”

Long enough.  “I’ll go home tomorrow as planned.  It’ll clear your name.  Just give me a week to talk to Marcus.  If we can’t come to an agreement, than you do w
hat your first instinct was and…well… you know.  It’s the best solution I can come up with in the time given.”

Nonplus, Icarus scrubbed his jaw.  “
Thaleia—”

“I’m not here to lay a guilt trip on you if that’
s what you think.  It’s for the best all the way around.  Myself included.”

ΑΒΩ

Because there were no spare bedrooms, I spent the night in the bathroom.  It wasn’t comfortable by any means, but it was clean and it had a lock on the door.  Apparently—to my disappointment—the lock wasn’t message enough to keep Icarus out, because I woke in the morning, squinting against the lights of the vanity, to find him brushing his teeth before the mirror.

He wore only navy sweats, which sat low on his hips.  His back was lean, muscled, his olive skin tanned from the summer sun.  Raven’s black hair just reached his shoulders.  Running his hands through it, he pushed it from his face, tucking it behind his ear, revealing his defined jaw.  In the mirror, my eyes trailed from the
curve of his chin to the plains of his chest and down the line of black hair that ran from his navel and disappeared beneath the waist of his pants.

Rinsing the toothbrush, he ran his thumb across the bristles, tapped it on the edge of the sink and then dropped it in the glass on the vanity.  I couldn’t help notice it was
my
toothbrush, the one I lifted from Jack’s house.  I wasn’t sure what to make of it.  Did he pilfer it in revenge for using his on the toilet?  If he did, he hit the mark, because I’d burn it before using it again.

Aware that I had woken, Icarus’s eyes met mine in the mirror, catching me ogling.  His jaw tightened almost imperceptibly, but I saw it.  I brushed it off.  He wouldn’t need to worry about me much longer.  Soon enough, his domain would return to its normal activities.

“You look as comfortable as a giraffe in a Lazy Boy.”

Indeed, I did.  I had curled up as small as I could on the upholstered bench, though sometime during the night I had stretched my legs, and now they stuck out like stilts, one toward the floor, the other parallel with my body.  I sat up, stretching languorously from head to toe.

“You could’ve slept in the bed.”

“Didn’t sleep much anyways,” I mumbled, my voice thick with sleep.  “No point in both of us being up all night.”

Nightmares plagued my sleep, which lasted for no longer than two-hour intervals.  I awakened panting and sweaty from anything between reliving Marcus’s attack to envisaging the bone shifting change that would claim me in a few nights time.  In others, Icarus and his cousins were dead while some faceless lycanthrope raped me amongst their bodies.  The last was a scene from AWIL where David sat talking to Jack in the theatre, only Bennie played Jack’s part and my parents were the stuffy British couple killed during their dinner party.  Mutilated and decaying, their undead corpses urged me to kill myself before I killed again.  With their images fresh in my mind, I spilled my resolve like a long awaited confession.

“I changed my mind.  Turning into a
monster every month, I don’t think I can handle it.  I might not ever have the control you displayed today.  The idea of harming or killing someone is abhorrent to me.  I can’t take the chance of losing control the way Marcus did.  And I think you’re right, Marcus isn’t a person I can put my trust into, knowing he doesn’t have that control himself.  And to be brutally honest, right now I hate his fucking guts.  That being said, I want…” closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and opened them again, “I want you to kill me.”

“You’re serious.”

“It wasn’t an easy decision, especially when every ounce of your being, every instinct tells you to live, but yes.  Yes, I’m every bit serious.”

“And you don’t think you should discuss it with me?”

“No, it’s my life.”

“I’m doing the killing.  I think that entitles me to a say in this.”

“No, it’s not the way I want to live.  You can’t make that choice for me.”

“You won’t be a monster,
Thaleia.  Feral, yes.  You’ll be slave to your instincts.  The baser side of the wolf will take over.  You’ll feel disoriented at first.  Often, when you wake, you might not remember things.  But in time, you’ll regain self-control.”

Dropping my head into my hands, I rubbed my face, suppressing a groan.  “Why are you doing this?  You didn’t want me around and now you’re trying to talk me into staying.  You can’t pick and choose when to like me and not.”

“Is that what this is about?”

“It would be a lie if I said no, though it’s only partly the reason.
  The rest, I’ve just explained.”

“You have every right to be upset, but—”

“Then I’m sure we won’t have any trouble coming to an agreement.”

“Sit down,” he demanded, when I stood to leave.  Grinding my teeth, I sat, but only because he asked.  For some odd reason he didn’t use his imperious voic
e.  “Contrary to your belief, I wasn’t speaking of
killing
you. You’re Marcus’s responsibility.  My intention was to leave you to his devices.  But you were in my territory.  And the truth is my cousins want you to stay.  I told you, I use my control judiciously.  I could pull rank on them, but I don’t want to.  They’re old enough—the majority of them—to make their own decisions.  Besides, they’d leave if I did.  And I’d rather not lose my family.”