Feral Craving (19 page)

“Clear as far as I can tell.” His senses scattered the
area, scanning to be sure all was clear. It was as if his eyes had picked up on
the ability to register heat sensors, and at the moment all he saw in the area
was a doe feeding about two hundred feet behind the cabin. They moved out from
the cover of the trees toward the small cabin, his hand guiding Mackenzie at
the small of her back.

Bari opened the door with a grunt, using the strength of
his kind and forcing the lock through its hole. Musty air from the unused place
assaulted him. He squinted against the dust disturbed by their entrance as he
moved between the small rooms to be sure that all was clear.

“You think there’ll be a phone here?”

“I really don’t know.” The wind howled past the windows,
and he shook his head and pursed his lips. “Hell, Mackenzie, from the sounds of
outside, it doesn’t seem like we have too much of a choice.” He realized too
late his voice held an edge of ice to it. He turned to Mackenzie and saw her
stiff form looking out a window, her arms wrapped around her chest. She shivered
visibly and again, he cursed. Moving behind her frozen form, he refrained from
touching her, no matter how much his soul screamed for it.

“Sorry, Bari, I am not questioning your judgment, just
concerned about the safety of the place.” The tight line of her lips pressed
thin as she turned to face him did not ease his unrest, but truth be known, not
much would. They were both on the run now, and he had no idea if she regretted
the fleeting moment where she followed him.

Tucking her arms close to her body, Mackenzie stepped
around him. He fought the urge, so strong of an urge to pull her into his arms
and give her warmth. Under the natural light of the moon her lips appeared
almost blue. He knew lighting a fire would only draw attention to them, and so it
was out of the question. As it was, they would have to either take shifts
sleeping or find someplace to sleep. He suspected the demons tracking them
wouldn’t give in and the voice that sounded so familiar from earlier screamed
warnings throughout his mind.

Walking over to a closet, he opened the door and let out a
breath of relief as he spotted a huge trunk inside. Mackenzie’s body shook
uncontrollably at this point, and a tortured moan from under her breath had him
anxious to find anything to warm her. With a twist of his wrist, the small
combination lock on the front broke free. He lifted the lid and inside revealed
heavy articles of clothing along with blankets and pillows. Immediately, he
stood and after living amongst men for so long, didn’t think twice as he
unhooked his shoulder harness and set it aside. Next, he ripped his thin long
sleeve t-shirt from his head then reached down for a sweater to set over his
chilled skin.

“Come on, Mackenzie, there’s plenty of clothing in here,
and you need to get dry and warm to conserve your strength.”

Chapter
Twenty-Two

Bari’s voice snapped her out of the semi stupor she had
been in while standing there gawking as he removed his soaked clothes and
replaced them with dry ones. The peeks of his chilled skin snared her attention
and until he spoke her whole world had been focused on each and every move he
made. The ripples of muscles along his back held her eyes captive, kept them
from moving, and she soaked in each beautiful moment as if it were as vital as
the air she breathed.

She cleared her throat and averted her eyes as he turned
around while pulling the sweater down over his large frame.

“Think there’s something in there that will fit me?” The
short steps needed to cross the room carried her next to Bari as she peered
down into the trunk. Bari squatted down, his wet leather pants creaking with
effort as he rummaged through the trunk. He held up a pair of cotton pants and
a thick long sleeve shirt. They looked a little big but would do while her
clothing dried. She turned from him, glanced around at the one room and not
seeing a place of privacy, let out a soft sigh. Lifting her arms, she stripped
off the wet long sleeve shirt she wore and tossed it to the floor, the shirt
creating a slosh as it landed. Pulling off her jeans was harder, as the
material sticking to her body made them a chore to peel off. Stepping from
them, she tugged on the cotton pants before donning the shirt and gathering her
wet items to hand them to Bari.

She felt Bari’s eyes on her and turned to look over her
shoulder. “What?” She knew he had seen the scars that crisscrossed her back,
the ones that had never healed properly from the attack. Her cheeks heated as
shame burned through, not because she carried the marks but because she had been
too weak at the time to defend herself.

A muscle ticked in his cheek, the only indicator any
emotion ran through him. “I’m trying to tamp down on my control here, Mac. In
this small cabin, I can’t risk my temper getting the best of me. I told you I’d
try to be honest with you and I will, but I’d like to ask for the same in
return.” He paused, holding her gaze for a few moments before turning to hang
their clothing over the back of a wooden chair nearby. “The scars gave me a bit
of a shock. So much of one I’m actually surprised this cabin is still erect.”

She frowned, confused. “What does that mean, Bari? How or
why wouldn’t it be?”

He laid the last item on the seat of the chair and turned
to her, lifting his arms and crossing them over his massive chest. Muscles
bunched and shifted under the movement, and she licked her lips, tried like
hell not to stare.

“Exactly what I said, Mackenzie. I’ve told you, I’m not
fully human. There’s something inside of me begging to get out. It’s what has
kept me rooted to the spot and not to walking right over to trace each and
every scar. To not provide the comfort I so want to.”

Mackenzie’s body heated, and she cursed that hope swirled
like a beacon to a lost ship at sea in her stomach.

“I don’t like the fact that someone marred your beautiful,
perfect skin. It causes me to see red and makes me want to kill the bastard all
over again. I don’t like feeling this way, know I can’t keep you safe, but damn
if that’s all I want to do.”

Her eyes moved from his shirt back to his face at his
statement, and she saw the red creep into his cheeks, frowning in response.
“Why are you ashamed, Bari? Or embarrassed? Your emotions speak on your skin,
and I truly don’t understand why.”

His knowing gaze always got to her and despite how close
they had been at one time, she really didn’t know if she knew Bari anymore.
They had been apart for close to nine years, and nine years was a long time for
someone to change. The Bari she knew was still in his eyes, but outside of
that, she had no clue. She also didn’t know if she could open up her heart to
him again. She didn’t have it in her to survive a second round of him leaving.
Instead of stepping toward him, she moved away.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Mackenzie. I know it’s been a
while since we’ve seen one another, but I’m not willing to part ways with you
just yet.”

She nodded her head sharply. He might not mean to, but he
had always held the power to hurt her. He had damn near broken her when he left
before. She’d done just about anything to get away from the memories that
constantly surrounded her in Nantucket. Her decisions had been reckless and
irresponsible. Actions she paid dearly for later. “I wasn’t assuming you would.
I just know they’re unsightly. I should have thought about it before I exposed
my back to you.”

She heard the sharp inhale of breath Bari took, and his
eyebrows dipped down over his ice blue eyes as he looked over at her. His mouth
was a tight line, and he bared his teeth, showing just how seriously furious he
was.

****

Emotion worked its way up inside of him, and crossing the
room quickly, he tossed himself to his knees in front of Mackenzie, burying his
head between his shoulders and squeezing his eyes shut as his head bowed. He
was sitting right here in front of her. His best friend, his soul comforter for
so long, and he had been too blinded by fear to realize it before now. In the
flesh, in the gorgeous warm flesh was the one his soul had been crying out for,
for so long. “Mackenzie…” His voice broke as the emotion clogged its way into
his throat and built in his chest. “I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t there to
protect you.” He felt her hands come down to lie on his shoulders. Her palms,
so warm, so damn small on his body. She took a step closer and urged him
forward. He rested his face against her stomach and let out the emotions he’d
held in for so long, the ones that had become a hidden part of himself, ones
that were a stranger to him. Great huge sobs tore at his chest, and he reached
up to cling to her wrists holding his face. He couldn’t stop the waterfall of
emotions from occurring though. As much as he tried, that part hidden for nine
years, built up for so long, exploded out of him and fell on the one it had
been hidden away for. Distantly he heard her shush him, trying to comfort him,
but he knew no comfort in the moment. His anguish built up to such intolerable
levels, he feared he would never be the same.

“You’re breaking my heart, Bari.”

He suffered, lived in anguish over being separated from her
and then again he knew he’d brought it all on himself.

Mackenzie knelt down before him and showered his face with
soft kisses as she shushed him. Her lips, when they settled over his, took the
breath right out of him. He held her to him, steadily stroking her back as he
took and received comfort.

“We need to sleep,” he said roughly. He didn’t know how
things seemed to have gotten so out of control with his emotions, and he was a
tad bit embarrassed by it. Breaking down just wasn’t something he did and even
more so, when done in front of her, he recognized shame as it constricted his
chest.

Gathering her up into his arms, he stood with her and
crossed to the bed. Joining her seconds later, he wrapped his large frame
behind hers, keeping Mackenzie enfolded in his arms. He felt her ease into a
light sleep, her body emotionally worn out with all that happened in the last
day and night. His own eyes drooped down, and he allowed them to shut as he
drifted into slumber.

****

He didn’t know how much time passed, how long he slept with
Mackenzie snuggled against him, but from the yellow glow breaking through the
wooden shutters, he knew the sun was up. He didn’t want to move, was content to
hold Mackenzie for as long as she slept because he knew in his soul, she hadn’t
slept much the last nine years, and much less had she slept soundly.

She came awake with a start, her hand that had clutched to
Bari’s shirt while she slept jerking now. He tightened his arms around her. His
own mind tumbled with emotions from last night and while his chest felt like a
weight had been lifted, he never showed others such a weakness. He missed
Mackenzie with every piece of his soul and everything had hit so strong
earlier, realizing all at once she was there in the flesh.

Shifting, Mackenzie lifted her head and glanced up at him,
her eyes full of wonder. “Morning.”

 
“Morning yourself.
How did you sleep?”

“I don’t think I can remember ever sleeping that much. Or
at least any time in the last nine years.” She rolled off of Bari and moved to
sit, tucking her small legs underneath her body. “Did you sleep at all?”

“As well as can be expected.” He didn’t tell her he had
basically stayed up most of the night watching her sleep, keeping an eye on
their surroundings.

He pushed to the edge of the bed and shook out arms heavy
with sleep and empty without Mackenzie between them. He wasn’t shocked that she
moved away upon waking. It was probably for the best.

Standing, he rolled out his shoulders before stretching his
arms wide while walking into the living room to pace. Restless energy bounded
through him as he tried to figure out what their next move should be. He
stilled and cast a glance to Mackenzie who sat perched on the bed, her normally
bright eyes shadowed with pain.

“Hey….” He crossed the room and held out his hand and
waited for what seemed an eternity before she put hers within his grasp.
Pulling her up from the bed, he walked her to the small table and seated her
there, whipping the other chair over next to her.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Byron?”

****

She winced at the question, the exact same one running in
her own head as he asked it. She hated this, hated that the time they had been
separated caused this to come up. Standing, she pushed back from the table, her
eyes glancing around before meeting Bari’s eyes again.

“I don’t know, Bari. What are you going to do? Why do you
need to know? You’ve asked me twice now. Why are you pushing for it?” She moved
back a few steps as he stood, and then she glanced back and forth between the
chair he had been sitting in and his now towering frame. As she stepped back
again, her back hit the wall, which startled her before she let out a slight
sound.

On one hand she understood as he stalked her that he
wouldn’t hurt her. At least it was that thought in her mind keeping her from
fighting him back or fleeing from the room. Yet on the other hand, did she
really know Bari after all this time? Nine years was a long time to change and
even after his comfort last night, he really hadn’t said anything to her in
regards to what was in store for either of them or even if he was willing to
stay. The thought that he might not want to be here with her struck hard, and
she reached up to grab her head, her mind unfocused on the very real
possibility that she could have just set herself up to be hurt again.