Authors: Inger Iversen
“I am. He has to share a room with me because you’re in his room, but it’s ok. I’m kinda glad, you know? It sucks not having him around anymore. It’s so freaking boring with just me, my mom, and my dad.” Lea avoided my gaze.
I was worried that she had started to think of me in the weird way that everyone else did. She fidgeted a bit, then started to play with the multi-flowered comforter on my bed, pulling the loose threads and straightening the wrinkles. I wanted to ask her how she was doing, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to open that can of worms so soon after I’d talked to Eric. If she asked me about what happened while I was outside for the hour, or why I had to live with her family instead of returning to college, I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to her. I didn’t even know if her parents had filled her in on my situation, but I didn’t plan to—not tonight anyway.
“I was hoping that once you moved in, I would have someone to talk to,” she admitted quietly.
I realized then why she was acting so different. Lea and I were so far apart in age that when I used to visit, she and I didn't spend much time together. Alex and I were only a few months apart, and we had much more in common than Lea and I. Lea was lonely, and I understood that. I’d taken up most of her mother’s time, Alex was away at college, and Eric wasn’t the same man he used to be.
“What about that one girl you always hung out with whenever we came to visit? What was her name? Cami or Camille?” I pulled my legs to my chest and rested my head against the wall. I didn't want to believe that I was ruining Lea’s normal life, but there was not much point denying it.
“Ka’Mila, but I called her Mila. She moved last year. Everyone is moving. This state really sucks. It’s nothing but a bunch of mountains and trees. I have to get out of here.”
I would have laughed, but I knew she was serious. The funny thing was that was the exact same excuse Alex had used when he told his dad that he wasn’t attending Virginia Tech like they had once agreed upon. “I’m sorry, Lea.” I moved closer to her and patted her shoulder. Lea wasn’t very outgoing, and as far as I knew, she and Ka’Mila were each other’s only friends.
“Most of Alex’s friends moved, too. They used to hang out with me when Alex was here.” She sat further back on the bed.
“Oh, I see. Well, now that I’m here, we can hang out, if you want.” I smiled. Even though she was only ten, it would be nice to have someone to talk to. I didn’t have any siblings, and all of my cousins were older than me, or they lived pretty far away. It would have been nice to have someone to share things with when I was growing up. “When Alex comes home, maybe we can all go to the lodge. I think your mom and dad won’t mind.” At least I hoped they wouldn’t.
“I don’t know. They have been acting weird lately. I think it’s because…” Lea paused, then looked up at me.
I knew that she was going to say her parents had been affected by my parents’ death, but she was worried about how I would feel about her mentioning it.
“Lea.” I wanted her to be comfortable talking with me no matter what it was about, and though I didn't want to talk about certain things—like my parents—I still couldn't send her away when she had no one else. “Just give them a little bit of time, and things will get back to normal. I promise.” I hoped I wasn’t lying. For some people, death was a bump in the road. One day they would wake up, and it wouldn’t hurt as much anymore. Others just stored the pain away until they were numb to everything around them. The latter was my goal, but I was failing miserably.
“Thanks.”
Lea seemed to understand what I was trying to tell her, or at least I hoped she did. I was relieved when she ended that conversation and headed over to my laptop.
“Wow, you have a MacBook Air. I tried to get dad to get one for the computer room. He said a regular PC was more than enough for our needs, but I still want one.” She pressed the keys and launched the browser.
I glanced at the clock and noticed it was well past her bedtime. But I still had some time until Kale was supposed to show up, so I decided to make good on my promise to hang out with her more. We played Angry Birds and browsed the internet for a while before Lea started to yawn.
“I’m going to bed. It was nice talking to you, Ella.” She smiled at me as she headed for the door.
“Goodnight, Lea.”
She was in a better mood as she left, and that was good. I was starting to see how my parents’ death was affecting Lea, and that was hard to handle. I still felt as if the pain was mine alone to bear. The Carltons still had each other. I was the one who was truly alone. After Lea left, I sat staring at the laptop screen. I hoped when Kale came back, we could talk more about what was going on with us. I knew that the feelings I was having for him were odd and that he knew why I was feeling this way about him. I wondered if he felt the same way about me, or if it was something entirely different for him. I needed to know who Hélène was and how she was connected to me.
I turned to the laptop, entered “past lives” into Google, and read over the results. The first website was about past life regression readings, and I quickly dismissed that one. If the things Kale had told me were true, then my visions were memories of my past life, and I didn't need anyone to help me “regress.” I could do that on my own. The second was a band website, and the third was just as unhelpful as the first two. I scanned the forth and was intrigued. The website explained how it was believed that everyone had a past life and how knowing about your past life can help you gain more insight into your current life. Had I read this site before I met Kale, I would’ve believed that the writer was insane and that past-life readings were scams. But I couldn’t deny the things that I’d seen in my memories and how real they’d felt. Though I had no use for a past-life reading, I was still interested in other people with the talent. I jotted down the writer’s information. Maybe Kale was right. Maybe I wasn’t a basket case, and I had a talent.
I heard the first rock hit the window at midnight, and I went over to open it for Kale. I had no idea how he had climbed up the side of the house, but I didn’t question it. I was more curious about the necklace he showed me. I’d seen it before in a vision. A blue stone hung delicately from a tarnished silver chain. Kale placed the necklace in my hand, and though it was light, I could feel the weight of its past. The cool stone rested in the crease of my palm as if it had finally arrived where it belonged. I knew that it had belonged to me, even though the first time I’d seen it was months ago in the vision that sent me to Dr. Lithe.
“Do you recognize it?” Kale asked quietly as he sat in the chair in the room’s alcove. His eyes were dark against his pale skin and his lips formed a crescent moon, showing just a bit of his pearly white teeth. “I think you do.”
I smiled and held the necklace up, allowing the sapphire stone to sway in between us. “Where did you get this from? It’s beautiful.” It was the same necklace from my vision, which strengthened my belief that I could see my past lives.
“Keeping the truth from you is just as dangerous as telling you everything and leaving your mind open to Laurent.” His smile faded.
I knew he was ready to tell me everything, even though he’d been anxious about doing so. Kale was a part of my past in some way, but I wasn’t sure what part he had played. I placed the necklace on the nightstand and sat on the bed. I motioned for Kale to sit beside me, but he didn't. He waited for me to speak. It seemed as if we took two steps back for every one step forward, and I wanted that to end.
“I want to tell you something,” I said softly.
Kale stood and moved closer to the bed, but didn’t sit. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I wasn’t sure that I should. What was the barrier between us? Did Kale have the same ability to see past lives, and if so, was he ashamed of it? I wasn’t sure about that, but I was sure of my feelings for Kale. Things had moved so fast in the short time that we’d known each other, time seemed irrelevant because I was ready to admit my feelings for him. Rejection was the farthest thing from my mind because there were important things that needed to be said. I reached up and took his cold hand in mine. I squeezed it gently, hoping I could send him some of my strength. “Sit, please.”
As he settled next to me, I held on to his hand and shivered from the sensation his skin sent through me. I gathered my nerves, took a deep breath, and spoke.
“I want to tell you what I’ve been feeling.” I looked him in his eyes as I spoke. I wasn’t quite sure why, but they gave me the strength to continue. “I have this feeling like we have met before, and we have been separated before also. I know you. I know that at one point in time I loved you because I think I can see my past life.”
Kale squeezed my fingers lightly, and I hoped the warmth from my fingers would heat his. He looked at me without a hint of surprise, and I knew I was on the right track. I held the necklace tighter in my hand and thought back to when Hélène wore this necklace. Before I could stop them, the tears started rolling down my cheeks, and I was over taken by sadness. “Hélène wore this the day she died, didn't she?”
Kale shifted uncomfortably beside me, but didn’t let go of my hand. “Yes. I couldn't protect her.”
I felt horrible that Kale wanted to take responsibility for something that’d happened in the past. Something he wasn’t there to stop, and I needed to explain this to him. “That was in the past, Kale, you couldn't have stopped it.” I pulled Kale’s hand into my lap and caressed his face. “It’s okay—it’s not your fault.” I saw that he didn't believe me.
Kale frowned and shook his head. “Ella, you don’t understand. That isn’t a past-life version of me in your visions.” Kale stood up and started to pace.
“Please help me understand, Kale.” Confusion was something I was feeling more often, but I wasn’t going to accept it.
Kale stopped pacing and turned to me. “Ella, you see past lives because of what you are. You are an Arc.” His eyes seemed to search mine for any recognition of the word.
But I had no clue what the word meant. I hadn’t seen it on the website earlier. “A what?”
Kale ran his hand through his dark hair and sat back on the bed. “An Arc is someone who is clairvoyant. She can see the past, and it’s believed there will be one that can see the future. It’s a gift passed through a bloodline linking back to Laurent.”
I let his words sink in. I didn’t want to believe that I was so different that there was a class of people like me out there somewhere separate from the rest of the world. The woman who’d written the article lived in New York City, so there had to have been more out there, not just me.
“So there are people that—”
“Just you, Ella,” he said, cutting me off mid-sentence.
“Only me? What does an Arc do?”
“Recall the past.”
I laughed. It wasn’t a “you are crazy laugh.” It was one of those laughs to keep from screaming. I believed that people could see past lives, but I didn't think that it was possible I was the only one able to do so. Kale didn't seem offended by my laughter. I think he knew it was going to be hard to explain.
“Why do I see myself die? I mean Hélène, why do I see her die? She and I are the same person or related or something, right?”
“It’s a past life.”
I tried to understand what Kale had told me, but it was overwhelming. Kale’s intense gaze held mine for what felt like forever. I saw a pain that I was all too familiar with. The loss of my parents was still fresh. Even though I ignored that pain and pushed their memory away, I was still always aware of the ache in my heart that never seemed to dissipate. I squeezed his hand again, grateful he hadn’t let go, and hoped what little emotional strength I had left would be enough for the both of us. I think I’d always known that the girl in the vision was myself, but to have him agree made it that much more intense.
“Ella, this is hard to explain. You and Hélène are the same person in the sense that you share the same soul, but with two different minds and bodies. Hélène and you are connected by blood, and because of that, there is someone who wants you. He’s called Laurent—the Father of all Arcs.”
My stomach cramped and my head ached. I had finally gotten the answers I wanted, but I didn't feel any better. I was an Arc—the only one that existed. There were a lot of things that I could believe, but I never thought I would believe a story like this. I had the ability to see the past, and for that I had been murdered in my past lives.
“I was trying to protect Hélène from him. But he found her, and she sacrificed herself for me and the others who she would have harmed at Laurent’s command. Things were slowly coming together, and the emotions that I’d felt through Hélène made sense. “So that is why Hélène felt a sense of relief when she knew that she was going to be killed.”
Kale nodded.
I took a deep breath. I was relieved that everything was making more sense, but I still felt fragile and stressed. What did this mean for my future, for the future I wanted to have with Kale? Could we have one, or would all of this be too much for us to handle?
Chapter 14
“If ignorance is bliss, then who would dare live outside of its veil?” —Grandpa Grey
“Let me explain what you are so you will better understand,” Kale said. He moved closer to me and took my hand, tenderly kissing it. His smile was sad, but his kiss sent shivers through me.
“Remember I told you of three men who looked for eternal life?”
“Yes.” My voice was barely audible.
“Well, they found the nomadic group and the leader told them to—”
“Bring him someone pure of heart and full of love,” I finished, remembering that part of the story, mostly because it had disturbed me. I wondered why these men would need a person that was pure of heart and full of love. What could that person possibly do for them, and why couldn’t the nomads find a person like that on their own?
“Yes, and in return for this woman, he would grant them eternal life. As they travelled back home in search of the girl, both men realized that they weren’t completely sure what the nomad leader meant when he had said pure of heart, so they travelled back to the Frenchman and asked for his advice once again. The Frenchman was a businessman, and he told the men he would find this person as long as they promised him their service for the first fifty years of their eternal lives. The men agreed quickly because they figured fifty years was nothing compared to eternal life.