Authors: Inger Iversen
“So, you’re leaving,” she said between bites.
I looked at her, confused. How did she know?
Mia pointed at the bag I had packed. “Also, I noticed your toothbrush and stuff were all cleared out in the bathroom, and your laptop is gone. So you’re running away.”
“Running is not the word we’re using.”
“Then what do you want to call it?”
“Nineteen-year-olds don’t run away. They can leave whenever they want,” I explained, annoyed at her choice of words. I wasn’t running.
“Hmm. Do they usually do it in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping?”
“I thought we were going to wait ‘til Alex got here.”
“We are. But when he gets here you are going to need to fill us in on everything, Ella. Not just what you think we need to know.” She sounded like I did when I had told Jace and Kale the same thing.
I’d planned on doing that anyway, but Mia was right. Even though the Council would send people here to protect my friends, it was still important to have Alex and Mia know what was going on.
“Trust me when I say I know how much the ‘need-to-know process sucks’.” I remembered how Kale hadn’t told me things and insisted it was for my safety.
“Good.” Mia yawned again. “So, since we can’t talk about you leaving, the Peeping Tom or Kale, what should we do?” She looked around my room for something to pique her interest.
Sadly, there was nothing, and all we could do was sit there and stare at each other. Suddenly, I thought of what we could take about. Though it was on the list of non-discussable items, I needed some help. “Let me ask you something.”
“Shoot.” She seemed interested.
I bit my lip, nervous about where the conversation was going.
“Have you…,” I started. I shook my head and tried again. “How do you know when you…”
Mia squinted and scrunched her face, trying to follow where I was going. “Look, just gather yourself and then ask me, ‘cause I don’t speak gibberish, and that’s what I’m hearing.”
“Have you ever had to leave someone behind that you didn't think you could live without because you’d already lost so much?” I heard my voice quaver and it angered me. It was time to be strong.
Mia looked at me wide-eyed, surprised at the seriousness of the question. Clearly she wasn’t expecting a question like that. She continued to look at me, eyeing me with newfound interest. “No,” she answered after a moment.
I looked away from her, disappointed by her answer. I hadn’t expected much, but I’d thought I would get more than a simple no.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone like that in my life,” she added. “Someone I couldn't let go of. I know that makes me seem like a major brat, but that’s just the way it is.”
I asked the obvious question. “What about your parents?”
“Please, Ella. What about my parents? I told them about Anna and Janice in the Elmwoods, and you want to know what they told me? They said that any kid who goes into the woods alone like that deserves what she gets, and then my dad turns to me and says ‘let that be a lesson to you and the stupid things you and your friends do.’”
“Yeah,” she said in response to my shocked reaction. “What would your parents have said?”
“Definitely not that,” I murmured, but I got her point. “What about Brett?”
Mia shrugged and blanked, looking for something clever to say but coming up with nothing. “Brett is great, but I could leave him here if the opportunity came up. I’m stuck in Elmwood City for now.” She got up and sat on the bed beside me. “Just go with your gut. That’s the best advice I can give you.” Mia patted my back.
The hour was up, and all that was left was to wait for the car Jace had rented for Alex. I texted Kale and filled him in on the waiting game we were in. Mia paced the room, and I ate another granola bar and sipped my water until I saw the headlights flash in my window. I took a deep breath and looked out to see Jace confirming it was Alex. Mia and I put our coats on and headed downstairs. I was amazed at how easy it had become to come and go so late. Eric and Sarah weren’t as concerned about me since I’d made friends and started school. Maybe they thought my life’s stresses had finally started to calm.
Outside, Alex and Jace stood side by side—Jace ever vigilant, Alex solemn and confused. The second I saw Alex my heart melted and I felt my blood warm. It didn't matter why he was there or if he’d even believe me after I left, there was something about him that seemed warm and familiar. Alex smiled and waved a short, simple, shaky wave. His nerves had gotten the best of him. I could see it in his eyes. As Mia and I walked closer to them I could see Alex looked fatigued. It was only a two-hour trip. Though he’d taken a late flight, he still should have gotten some sleep. I hated to believe I was such a stress in his life that I could stop him from sleeping.
“Hey,” I whispered.
A small smile played across his lips. Mia was oddly quiet when I looked over at her bundled up in her coat. She looked like a pale little doll being walked to her death, and I wondered why I hadn’t realized how hard it would be for Mia and Alex. I wanted the truth when Kale and I were together, and at times the stress had kept me from sleeping, so I should have known. Mia and Alex exchanged hellos while Jace and I discussed how much time we had until we had to leave.
“What are you feeling right now?” Jace asked.
I watched Mia and Alex whisper to each other. They were no doubt exchanging information to see what the other knew.
“Fear,” I said honestly. I didn't fear Laurent as I should have, but I feared the consequences of my choices if my plan failed. “I fear I am making the right choice, the one Hélène and Kale couldn't make—the one that would have separated them forever.” I knew the reason Kale and Hélène hadn't asked the Council for help was because they knew they would most likely never see each other again. Neither Kale nor Jace had shown me that memory. It just seemed embedded in my mind as the truth. He and I could very well never see each other again.
“In order to learn the important lessons in life, one must each day surmount to fear,” Jace said. “Ralph Waldo Emerson.”
“So you’re saying I’m learning what, to sacrifice?” I asked, a bit annoyed with his enigmatic attitude.
Jace shook his head. “I’m not trying to be what you would call ‘a smart ass’, Ella. I am just telling you that facing and overcoming your fears is something everyone has to do. Some will do it and prosper, while others will drown in all that life offers.”
I was still confused. I shook my head, finished with the conversation, and headed over to Alex and Mia. “You guys ready?” Jace and I had decided the woods were the best place to take Mia and Alex. After, we would drop them off and be on our way.
Jace cocked his eyebrow and motioned toward the woods, an invitation for us to follow. Mia started forward, but Alex put his arm around her, stopping her from moving. My insides tightened. I wondered if Alex didn't trust Jace or if he didn't trust me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him.
“Who is this guy, and why are we headed into the woods where two women were killed not too long ago?” His eyes were watering, either from the cold or because his emotions had started to bleed through.
Mia eyed me guardedly, and I felt as if I was losing control because just a little while earlier she’d been close to me, ready to learn all of my secrets.
“You can trust Jace. He’s who I’m leaving with.”
Alex shook his head in disbelief. “You weren’t kidding, were you?” He asked astonished.
I thought the fact he’d shown up was proof he believed I wasn’t staying.
“You’re really leaving?” Alex let go of Mia and walked over to me. Mia stood off to the side like a guest at a family dinner turned family war.
I fought the burn of hot tears forming behind my eyes and took a deep breath before I spoke. “Yeah, I have to.” My voice broke and I cleared my throat, hoping to steel my nerves.
Alex reached for my hand and squeezed it. He’d either forgotten to put on gloves or chose not to, but his hands were warm and damp. He pulled me closer to him until we were in each other’s arms. His parka smelled new and unfamiliar, but Alex’s embrace was all the familiarity I needed.
I melted into his arms, which allowed the truth to flow out of me. “There’s a man named Laurent,” I began. I could hear the snow crunching as Mia and Jace moved closer to us, so I continued. Alex’s warmth gave me the strength to continue. “He’s been looking for me for a while and now he’s found me. He was the voice I’d been hearing and the reason I was seeing things,”
“Ella,” Alex interrupted. “I think you should call Dr. Lithe and tell him you’re seeing and hearing things again.”
I tried to pull away to look him in his eyes when I told him that wasn’t a good idea, but he held on, not allowing me to move.
“Seeing and hearing things?” Mia asked as she shuffled over from the side lines. “What stuff do you hear?”
I could hear the concern in her voice. Though I couldn't see her, I knew she was worried about what she’d gotten herself into.
“She hears a voice and sees things that scare her,” Alex explained for me, but he missed the truth.
The voice was real, and the visions were about me.
“So, you’re saying Ella isn’t all there,” Mia said, trying to understand what Alex was telling her.
Jace cleared his throat and stepped forward. Understanding that the conversation was headed in the opposite direction, Jace tried to bring it back to why we were all there. “No, she isn’t crazy, Mia, and everything she has told you is the truth. Her life is in danger, and so is your family, Alex, if she doesn’t leave here. Mia, the man who was looking through your window was the man who attacked her in the mall.”
Mia gasped and covered her mouth, her face pale. I worried that she would be sick.
“What!” Alex exclaimed, pulling my attention back to him. “What the hell, Ella. Why didn't you call me, or at least the police?” He lightly pushed me away from him to look at me. “This is my fault. I pushed you away and made it so you couldn’t talk me.” Alex touched my face. His hands no longer held the warmth they had before, and they were shaking.
“It’s not your fault, Alex,” I said. “Had I been honest with you from the beginning, it wouldn’t have gotten this far. Had I been honest with myself, all of this could have been avoided. Hélène and Kale needed the Council’s help then and we need it now.” I looked around.
Mia stood farther away, and I could tell she was wary of the situation. Jace stood beside Alex and I, his face full of concern. Alex stood in front of me expectantly. My head was full and my stomach hurt. I owed him so much more than an hour to explain and a quick goodbye. Alex should’ve hated me for my inability to trust him, but he was willing to take all of the blame. I wasn’t sure if I could make it up to him.
“Come with me,” I blurted.
I could hear Jace move behind me before he spoke. Cold air whipped around us. Alex was silent, and Mia looked shocked.
“Where are you going?” Mia asked. “You still haven’t told us that.” Her and Jace began talking, but I ignored them both and waited to Alex to respond.
“No, this is not how it works, Ella,” Jace said. He moved into my line of sight. His face was stern and unyielding, but it meant nothing to me.
I looked back to Alex and knew from the look in his eyes that he wasn’t sure any of what we’d said was true, but he also felt guilty for pushing me away for the past few weeks. But he wasn’t the only one to blame.
“Just come with me,” I said again. I didn't think of anything other than having Alex with me when I arrived at the Council. I wouldn’t be alone, and he wouldn’t have to wonder if he’d ever see me again.
Jace pulled me away from Alex. “Ella, this is not how it works. You let go of the things you want to keep safe. Hélène made the wrong choices, and I thought you were headed in the right direction when you decided to let Kale go.”
I snatched my hand away from Jace, annoyed at him for reminding me of what I had to let go. If Kale couldn't come just because he was a Chorý, what was the reason that Alex couldn't come?
“It’s my decision, Jace, and like it or not, Alex’s invitation stands. If he chooses to go then I won’t go without him.” My gut tugged from guilt because I knew Alex would most likely feel obligated to go with me, but I couldn't stop myself from turning to him and asking again.
He was concerned about his family, but I told him it wouldn’t be for forever, and the Council would be here to protect them. Jace said he could make seem as if Alex was still in New York. He was completely against the idea, but he would do whatever it took to get me to go to Alaska with him. The last problem to solve before leaving was Mia.
“This is completely nuts. Ella sees and hears things, there is a man after her who knows where I live, and the both of you are leaving me here to deal with it all alone.”
“No, the Council is going to set it up so someone looks out for you too,” I told her.
“Who is this Council, Ella, and why should I trust them?” she shouted.
I shushed her and looked at Jace for help.
He smiled and explained to Mia why she could trust the Council. “I will be here personally, Mia, and as Ella said, you can trust me.”
Mia’s icy demeanor melted a bit. Jace slowly chipped away at the rest of the ice that laced Mia by making promises I prayed he’d keep. I knew that once Jace got me to the Council his job was done and he would be coming back to Cedar, but I hadn’t known he was to keep an eye on Mia.
Alex and I loaded my things and the few items he’d brought from New York into Jace’s car while Mia talked to Jace about a knight in white armor. I pulled my phone from my pocket and called Kale. I heard the ring of his phone over in the brush, and when I looked up he appeared. He was a sight for sore eyes, tall and gorgeous. His hair partially covered his eyes, and light from the moon reflected off the snow, shining directly on him like a spotlight. I headed in his direction determined not to cry because this wasn’t goodbye. Kale met me halfway and greeted me with a hug. His tender side was unexpected and soothing, so I held him close and tight.