Fields of Grace (41 page)

He glanced around the sod house. The door stood open, allowing in the evening air and a band of dimming sunlight. He had anticipated windows and light, but it seemed he would continue living in shadows. Still, Joseph’s needs overrode his own. As Lillian had said, a young boy needed his mother. Having grown up without one, he wouldn’t deny Joseph the presence of a willing mother.

“I can continue to use the sod house until the others come. Then maybe I can rent a room from one of the villagers and ride out to work the fields during the day.” He shot her a sharp look. “You will need me to work the fields? You do not plan to do the farming yourself?”

The oddest look crossed her face—a combination of confusion and disappointment. But she was getting what she requested, so why look at him as though she didn’t understand?

“I am not able to do the farming. We . . . we will need you.”

Her voice quavered, further baffling Eli. “
Nä-jo
, then it is set.” He pushed off from the table, eager to escape her presence. Her wide eyes begged for something he didn’t know how to give. Turning to Joseph, he said, “I am going to go load dirt into the wagon so tomorrow early I can begin to mix mud for the insulation. Do you want to help me?”

Joseph tossed his cloth napkin aside and jumped up. “For sure, Pa!”

Eli slung his arm across the boy’s shoulders, and they headed for the door. Lillian’s voice called, breaking his stride.

“I will fold the dry clothes after washing dishes. Shall I put yours on the trunk in Joseph’s room?”

Pressure built in Eli’s chest. She had washed his dirty clothes after all. He didn’t want a housekeeper. He wanted a wife. If she couldn’t be his wife, then she should leave his clothes alone.

Lillian waved as the wagon rolled from the yard, carrying Eli and Joseph away. A strange weight had settled on her shoulders when she saw Eli put the oxen in the yoke and tie the horses’ reins to the back of the wagon. Why did he need to take all four animals to Newton to purchase window glass? Did he worry she would climb on the back of one of those horses and ride after Henrik?

Joseph turned backward in the seat, waving, his smile bright. She pushed aside the dark thought concerning Eli and focused on her son. How good to see his smile, to know it was meant for her. After a tentative beginning, they had managed to rebuild the close relationship that had developed between them following Jakob’s death.

An unbidden thought crept into her mind: If Jakob had lived, she would probably still feel distanced from her middle son. Eli’s comment about good coming from deep suffering had proved true in this situation. Joseph was funny and sensitive, with a bright mind. It gave her great joy to truly know this unique, pleasant young man she had borne.

Turning toward the house, she pondered whether Eli’s proclamation might be evidenced in other ways given time. Her heart still ached for Henrik’s return. Daily she prayed for him, but instead of begging God to bring her son back, she prayed for Henrik to seek God’s will in his life. Placing him into God’s hands, trusting God to guide and protect her son, brought a greater peace than anything she had experienced even when Henrik resided beneath her roof. She recognized that a part of her would always long for Henrik’s return, but she had ceased to allow the longing to consume her. The freedom that came with the release of worry was exhilarating.

She lifted the basket of torn scraps that she planned to weave into rag rugs, and carried it to the yard. The spring sun was bright and cheerful, warming the top of her head. After the winter months of being trapped inside the sod house, she welcomed the opportunity to be outdoors again. And next winter would be better because she would have windows that would allow the sunshine in and give her a view of the snow-laden landscape.

“But no more
Hoagelsteens
, please, Lord!” She giggled after she voiced the impetuous prayer. How wonderful to speak with God as a friend again.

Her hands stilled in tying strips into one long string. Would this painful separation from Eli ever end? Despite her best efforts to reach him, Eli still held himself at a distance. She had always thought him a forgiving man, but apparently he was unable to forgive her for her coldness toward him.

She plunked the tumble of rag strips into the basket and stood. Staring into the distance where the wagon had disappeared, her heart sought a way to convince Eli she had been wrong. She had tried everything she knew—seeing to his needs, engaging him in idle talk concerning the house and the land, inviting him to read the Bible with her and Joseph as he had before Henrik left. She wanted to boldly tell him that she was ready to be his wife again, but each time the words formed on her tongue, his aloof treatment silenced her.

“What can I do, Father?” Lillian lifted her face to the sky, where wispy clouds drifted lazily on a backdrop of soft blue. No answer came from the clouds, but a sense of well-being enveloped her. Just as she would wait for Henrik and trust God to keep watch on her precious son, she would trust God to guide Eli back to her.

Slipping to her knees, she folded her hands and closed her eyes. “Dear God, You love Eli even more than I do. You know what is best for him . . . and for me. We have made vows to be faithful. I . . . failed him . . . but now I wish to make amends. I trust You to open our hearts to one another again, binding us together with cords that cannot be broken.”

As she rose, a song winged through her heart. She began to sing, “
Erstaunliche Anmut
, how sweet the sound . . .”

She sang of God’s grace while she braided the rag strips. Her voice caught on the words “The Lord has promised good to me . . .” As she sang, she considered the Lord’s promise for good, and she made a promise to herself: By the time this rag rug was ready to be placed on the sleeping room floor, her relationship with Eli would be restored. Just as the tattered rags would become something of use and beauty, the torn edges of their relationship would be woven together.

35

E
li pulled the oxen to a halt outside the livery stable, then turned to Joseph. “You stay here, boy. I will be right back.” He braced his hand on the wood side to hop down.

^Joseph
caught his arm. “Are you sure you have to sell the horses?”

Eli understood Joseph’s disappointment. He might never own a finer pair than Socks and Stockings, as Joseph had named the matching bays. But the oxen could pull the plow and the wagon; horses were an extravagance. Finishing the house was more important than riding behind a beautiful team of horses.

“
Jo
, I am sure.” Eli softened his statement with a wink. “Now stay here, as I said.” He landed flat-footed, dust rising with the smack of his soles against the ground. He swished at his pant legs with his gloved hands, then adjusted his hat and headed for the livery owner’s office at the front of the stable.

“Bornholdt! Eli Bornholdt!
Goodendach!
”

The
Plautdietsch
greeting brought Eli to a startled stop in the middle of the road. He spun toward the voice, squinting against the sun. “Gustaf Plett!” Eli trotted forward to welcome one of his former neighbors from Gnadenfeld. The men clasped hands, laughing and speaking at once, their words tripping over each other in a cacophony of gladness.

Joseph jumped down from the wagon and raced to the men’s sides. “
Oomkje
Plett, is Wilhelm here, too?”

Plett rubbed Joseph’s cap back and forth on his head, laughing. “
Jo
, boy, my son is here, and
mein Frü
.” Suddenly, the man’s bearded face clouded. “But our Trina . . . she did not last the journey.” His hand shot out to grasp Eli’s shoulder. “Just as we heard Reinhardt and little Jakob were lost. Sorry we were to hear of it.” After shaking his head sadly, Plett brightened, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder. “But good it was to find a familiar face in Topeka.”

Eli’s pulse skipped a beat. “A familiar face? Henrik?”

“
Jo
. He works unloading goods at the railroad. He saw us get off the train, and he introduced us to the land sellers. He told us . . .” The man’s ears turned bright red. “You and
Frü
Vogt married.
Ekj graute’leare du
.”

Several responses came to mind:
We married only for respectability
. . . Lillian wants a divorce . . . It was a mistake . . .
But he couldn’t express any of them with Joseph standing beside him. So he nodded and offered a quick thankyou before asking, “How is our Henrik?”

“
Goot, goot
. He looks healthy. He sent his ma a letter—my Martha has it. Henrik has many English words in him now—he says he learns the English from a girl named Nora. He is becoming a real American. He says when he has enough money set aside he will go to university to become a teacher.” Plett poked Eli’s chest with his finger. “I told him we could use him in New Gnadenfeld.”

“New Gnadenfeld?”

“
Jo
. The villagers wish to form a town and name it after the village in Molotschna. So we call it New Gnadenfeld.”

A new field of grace . . . Eli liked the sound of it. He peered past Plett’s shoulder, seeking other arrivals. “Did many families come with you?”

“Nä.”
Plett folded his arms over his chest, puffing with importance. “The village leaders sent Titus Richert and me ahead with money to buy land on which to build our American village. The others will arrive mid-summer. Titus and I are to stake out the village and hold the land until the others come.”

Joseph whooped with excitement, socking the air with his fist. “They are coming, Pa, just as you said! We will have our village again!”

Plett grinned at Joseph. “
Jo
, boy, it is exciting for sure. God is
goot
to bring us here.” He looked at Eli. “Henrik showed us on the land developers’ plat where the land you bought is located. Richert and I chose sections north and east of yours—enough for the village square and our own homes.” He shook his head, releasing a happy sigh. “It is good to know you are there, are familiar with the land. You can be a big help to us.”

“For sure I will help you. Joseph, too. He is a good sod house builder.”

Joseph made a sour face, and Eli laughed.

“Sod house?” Plett’s brow crinkled in puzzlement.

Eli briefly explained the process of building a house of sod blocks. “It makes a good, sturdy dwelling that stands up to the wind and rain.” He gave Plett’s shoulder a solid clap. “So we will get you a house built, but right now I need to take these horses inside and see what the livery owner will give me for them. Have you yet purchased your supplies?”

Plett nodded. “
Nä.
In Topeka we bought our wagon and horses, but only enough supplies to get us here. We will need more.”

“Nä-jo.”
Eli ushered Joseph forward. “Joseph, go with
Oomkje
Plett now and take him to the general store. I will meet you there after I sell the horses.”

Joseph piped up. “Pa is buying windows for our house today.”

Plett’s eyebrows rose. “Windows in a house of dirt?”

Pride filled Eli as he corrected, “Windows in a house built of fieldstone. A sturdy, big house. You will see it soon.”

After making his deal with the livery owner, Eli assisted Plett and Richert in selecting supplies. Joseph chattered with Wilhelm, sharing every trial and triumph from their months in Kansas while the men loaded the wagons. The adults, listening to Joseph’s excited storytelling, alternately raised their brows in surprise, pursed their lips in dismay, and grinned in amusement. The work went quickly accompanied by the boy’s cheerful babble.

The small caravan of wagons rolled onto Eli’s property early in the evening, and the delight on Lillian’s face as she greeted
Frü
Plett sent a shaft of jealousy through Eli’s middle, followed immediately by self-recrimination. Why did he still want her to greet
him
like that? Wasn’t their union going to be dissolved? He resolutely set the emotion aside to assist the new arrivals in pitching tents near the sod house.

Lillian had already prepared supper—a bubbling pot of potato and deer meat stew—but she added a few more potatoes, wild onions, and several ladles of water. Along with the last three loaves of bread, the stew stretched to feed everyone. Joseph begged to sleep in the tent with Wilhelm, and both mothers approved, so as night fell, Eli found himself alone in the sod house with Lillian. He considered taking the deer hide and sleeping in the rock house, but knowing his action would raise questions in the minds of their guests, he decided against it.