Fiendish Play (25 page)

The professor didn’t have guards out front like at Anais’ house. He didn’t even have a security system. I discovered the front door was unlocked after I had banged repeatedly over and over with no success and then twisted the door knob out of pure frustration. I was a little shocked when it flew open in my hands. What kind of person has a place this grand and doesn’t keep it locked up or secure? Was this complacency or something else entirely? Would people dare not consider coming in without permission? I was getting sick of the millions of questions about these people who offered no true answers. In any case, this was where I was told Anais was, so I walked in, without invitation this time. I couldn’t be worried about the consequences at this point of the game.

Liam’s house looked completely different in the daylight. When there were people in here during the student invitational, it brought the whole flow of the structure to life. Like it needed humans to give it heart. Without anyone around, there was an empty coldness. An almost sterile feeling to the place. Even with the sculptures and artwork. Maybe that was why the professor had filled the place with all this art. There were no signs of family or friends who walked the halls. Nothing that made the house a home. There was no warmth about it in the cold light of day. It was kind of like a shell. A hideout. A cover. A front. I couldn’t imagine someone like the professor living here full time. It was art that was missing the artist.

I walked the halls and climbed the stairs, just listening for something; anything that signaled Anais’ presence. I walked past the room in which Anais had dragged me into the massive wardrobe. I stopped for a second, remembering that night. I thought about the warning she gave me. The way her eyes pleaded for me to stay away. But I also remembered the way her hands touched my skin. The way she smiled when she thought I couldn’t see her, and the way her whole being craved mine all the way across the room. You just don’t run away from a connection like that.

I had travelled all the way to the other side of the massive two-storey home when I finally heard the professor. But when I heard his voice coming from a room, he wasn’t alone. He had company and it wasn’t Anais. It sounded like a man just as old as him. Probably a colleague. I was about to turn and leave his house. It was the right thing to do. I shouldn’t have been intruding the way I was, nor should I be eavesdropping on the professor’s private affairs, but I stopped my legs from walking away when I heard my name. I pressed my head up against the door behind where the voices were coming from. Perhaps the conversation had to do with me and Anais. Maybe it would help with my search to find her. I cringed at myself and my actions at that moment. This was something I would never normally do, and I hated that I was already changing because of the Lappell.

“Anais has it under control. She will find James today. She will stop all of this. I believe her. I have faith in her. She loves him and he loves her. You of all people should know what is possible for love.”

“Do you really think she can stop him? He seems headstrong...and very determined. I don’t think he’ll just give up because she asks him to. He has so many qualities like...”

I couldn’t quite hear the other man. He must have been further from the door than the professor. But there was something about the other man’s voice in the room with Liam. I found myself pressing my face harder against the wood, wanting...
needing
...to hear him clearer. It was the oddest sensation. Desperation to get closer. An urge to open the door.

“Yes. I agree. I can see him going down the same path. That’s why she has to stop this...it’s the only way...”

Liam stopped talking suddenly. An abrupt silence between the two men.

“What? What’s wrong? What is it?” the other man spoke.

“Did you hear that?” Liam said.

I stood away from the door. I didn’t realize in those few seconds but one of my hands had begun to shake and was thrumming against the wooden door. It started shaking the moment I heard the other man’s voice. I was trying so hard to listen that I didn’t even notice I was doing it.

The door swung open and there was Professor Aston. His eyes open wide in shock and surprise. He pushed my chest hard, forcing me to walk backwards. He shut the door fast behind him and then went to my side, helping me up as I stumbled to the ground.

“What the heck are you doing here James? Alone? In my house?” The professor was clearly angry. And rightfully so.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to get out, feeling mortified that I’d been caught snooping in his house. “I was told Anais was here. I was looking for her. Your front door was open...and...”

“And what? You just walked in? Uninvited?”

“Again, I’m very sorry. I just really need to find her. I should have never come inside.”

This was beyond embarrassing. He was right. I shouldn’t have just walked in, even if the front door was open. What had come over me?
Anais had come over me.

“For the last time, it’s Liam.” He helped me to my feet. His eyes went back to the door of the room he just came out of and back to me. “Look, let’s go talk in my library James. There’s something important I need to discuss with you anyway, so it’s probably a good thing you’re here.”

Liam practically pulled me by the shirt down a corridor until we were in a big circular room filled ceiling-high with books. He looked more distressed than usual. His forehead was sweating, and his hair was slicked back as a result of the sweat. He clothes looked un-ironed and he wasn’t wearing shoes.

“Anais has been looking for you all night. Where have you been? She’s been worried sick.”

At that moment, there was nothing I wanted to do more than take Liam up on his offer of friendship. Tell everything that had happened to me and Anais. Tell him about what I saw happening to his niece on that tree. About the race. Seth. The memorial event and the drug. I wanted to get it all out of my head. I hated carrying all this on my own. I needed a shoulder. Words of wisdom.
Fatherly advice
. The idea only made my hand shake again. Yet, I didn’t know why it was happening. Why were such thoughts causing the tremors to erupt like this? It had always been acts of violence which set them off. Not thoughts of a father I never knew. And I couldn’t replace what I never had. Not with my step-dad. Not with Liam. I was more confused than ever. It must have been more after-effects of the drug.

“I wish I could give you an answer, but I don’t even know myself where I was last night.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? You can’t remember your night? Nothing at all?”

“No,” I said sheepishly. I couldn’t tell Liam anything. It would only put him in danger with the Lappell.

“James, this is out of control.” He shook his head, his hand rubbing his neck. “It was never meant to get this far.”

The way he said that made me think Anais had told him everything. She must have confided in her uncle about being in the Lappell and how I was joining to be with her.

“What did Anais tell you? Did she tell you...?” I didn’t know what question to ask next. I had no idea if she had just revealed tiny parts or if she had laid it all out to her uncle.

“She told me everything James. She trusts me.”

I believed what Liam was saying, but I still struggled to accept it, especially knowing how the Lappell would react if they found out she told her uncle. “I can’t believe she did that. She wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Don’t be angry. You both need my help.”

“How can you help me professor? Or Anais for that matter? Don’t you know what she’s in? What her parents are in? What these people are capable of?”

Liam held my gaze but didn’t answer any of the questions I had just thrown at him. But his silence said enough. It told me he wasn’t allowed to talk about the Lappell either. He must have known of her involvement...and now mine. Yet the risk of the knowledge didn’t deter him from trying to save his niece.

“I’m sending you home James. Back to France. As soon as possible. You need to leave this place immediately. Tonight if we can get you a flight.”

His demands floored me. I couldn’t believe what I just heard. From my professor of all people.

“Who do you think you are? I’m not leaving here. I’m not leaving Anais. That’s out of the question.” I started to back away from Liam, feeling as if he was trying to take Anais away from me. Like he had another agenda. Like he thought he could make decisions for me. “Look, I’m in love with her. No, I’m wrong. It’s more than that...it’s bigger than love.”

“James...you need to listen to me right now. It’s very important. Sometimes when you love someone, the greatest way to show that love is by letting it go. Sometimes you need to step away for the greater good. Real true love is self-sacrifice. It’s the ultimate act of that emotion. You have an artist’s heart James. You are good through and through. You don’t belong in Anais’ world. It will only hurt you both. You have to leave. Now. Tonight. For her sake and yours.”

“No!” I yelled. I was genuinely pained and offended by such a suggestion. And what gave him the right to tell me to leave and give up on Anais? I was so angry. Angry at the Lappell. Angry at Liam. Angry at this place. “You can’t tell me what to do! You’re not my father!” As the words left my mouth, I stepped back in shock. I had never said such a thing before. To anyone. Not even to my step-dad. But the anger kept coming. I couldn’t stop it. Everything I ever denied myself from saying was coming out. “And what do you know about love anyway...professor?” I hissed the professor part, feeling hurt at his request that I should leave and walk away from Anais. The idea alone was stabbing my heart, making me feel pain I was not ready to feel. “Is that why you’re here all alone in this big cold house with nothing but your sculptures and your paintings? Without anyone. Without love? Is that what you did? You just walked away from someone. Threw your hands in the air and said, “
I give up
!” Well I’m not you. I’m going to fight for her. I’m going to do whatever it takes to be with her. Even if that means joining...” I trailed off. How far would I go? I knew the answer to that question. I would go all the way. I had every intention of joining the Lappell so we could have some version of a happily ever after. It was enough for me. That would be my sacrifice for Anais.

I shook my head, talking to myself now. “You don’t understand professor. I would rather
die
than be without that girl. I can’t just walk away and watch her from afar. That’s not who I am... and that’s not what we are to each other.”

Liam swallowed when I said that. There was a look I tried to place on his face. Was it
understanding
? Or was it something else?

Liam next spoke slowly and softly. “James, I get it. There’s something deep inside you that would never give up on the girl you love. You would do whatever it takes. That passion for love is part of your true nature. I can see that. But you don’t understand what’s happening. Your life is at risk. So is hers. This is a lot bigger than just the two of you...”

I suddenly switched off. I had had enough. I couldn’t listen to anymore from the professor. I was wasting precious seconds not finding Anais. I had to get out of there. NOW.

“I have to go,” I said, backing away and out of the room.

“Wait James!” The professor’s hands went up into the air, trying to get me to stop. “You need to stay here. There are things we need to talk about further. There is more you need to know. You can’t leave...”

“I’m going to find Anais,” I simply said. I turned and took off; out of the library and sprinting down all the halls and corridors until I was out of the house and back on my motorbike.

{22}

I never thought I’d be the fleeing type of guy, but here I was — fleeing. Fleeing from Liam’s request. Fleeing from the idea of going back to France. Fleeing from people who were lying to my face and giving me nothing except ‘need to know’ pieces of information. I think I was even fleeing from this version of myself who was actually entertaining the idea of trusting Byron and the Lappell. I don’t know who that guy was and where he came from, but he wasn’t me.
Was he?
At least under Byron I would be heading towards Anais and not in the opposite direction. My head could only go where my heart wanted to follow, even if Byron may have some ulterior motive. But what was the better option in all this...accepting my fate or fighting it?

At the back of my mind, I hadn’t forgotten what Byron and Deacon did to Anais. Their threats and their assault to both her and her cousin. There would come a time when I could properly demonstrate my real feelings of their treatment to Seth and the girl I love. When my head was clear and I had the opportunity, I would find a way to take revenge. But I had to tread cautiously at this time. Byron wanted me in the Lappell, and the president,
whoever he was
, as well as Professor Aston, wanted me out. He even wanted me to go back to France for reasons that still were unclear to me. Maybe it would have been more obvious if I could think properly. Maybe I couldn’t see what was going on because I was still lost in a haze of emotional turmoil. Was my love for Anais really clouding my judgment that much that it stopped me from seeing how much danger I was putting myself in? But — there was something about all this that didn’t feel wrong at all. And I didn’t know why. I had always been so sure of where I stood morally and what I wanted to do with my life. But I was quickly learning that love has a way of changing you, including your perceptions and interpretations. You start to make up your own rules. You ignore logic. You deny yourself reason. You are willing to see what you want to see. Fuck — was that me? Was Anais right in that field after all? Is that my weakness; that I see what I want to see?

I was going a lot faster than I should have been travelling on my motorbike, but the drive was to get to Anais. I had a feeling after leaving Liam’s that she would be waiting for me back at my apartment. There was no speed fast enough that I could go when she was in my head. I knew I was being reckless...dangerous...out of control. And it felt good. Knowing I was heading towards Anais, and not away.