Fifty Shades of Grey (54 page)

I feel unsettled as I make my way to my car, though I’m not sure why. I think the interview went well, but it’s so hard to say. Interviews seem such artificial situations, everyone on their best behavior trying desperately to hide behind a professional façade. Did my face fit? I shall have to wait and see.

I climb into my Audi A3 and head back to the apartment, though I take me time. I’m on the red-eye with a stopover in Atlanta, but my flight doesn’t leave until 10:25 this evening, so I have plenty of time.

Kate is unpacking boxes in the kitchen when I return.

“How did they go?” she asks, excited. Only Kate can look gorgeous in an oversized shirt, tattered jeans, and a dark blue bandana.

“Good, thanks, Kate. Not sure this outfit was cool enough for the second interview.”

“Oh?”

“Boho chic might have done it.”

Kate raises an eyebrow.

“You and boho chic.” She cocks her head to one side - Gah! Why is everyone reminding me of my favorite Fifty Shades? “Actually, Ana, you’re one of the few people who could really pull that look off.”

I grin.

“I really liked the second place. I think I could fit in there. The guy who interviewed me was unnerving though,” I trail off – shit I’m talking to foghorn Kavanagh here.
Shut
up Ana!

“Oh?” The Katherine Kavanagh radar for an interesting tidbit of information swoops into action – a tidbit that will only resurface at some inopportune and embarrassing moment, which reminds me.

“Incidentally – will you please stop winding Christian up? Your comment about José at dinner yesterday was out of line. He’s a jealous guy. It doesn’t do any good, you know.”

“Look, if he wasn’t Elliot’s brother I’d have said a lot worse. He’s a real control freak.

I don’t know how you stand it. I was trying to make him jealous – give him a little help with his commitment issues.” She holds her hands up defensively. “But – if you don’t want me to interfere, I won’t,” she says hastily at my scowl.

“Good. Life with Christian is complicated enough, trust me.”

Jeez, I sound like him.

“Ana,” she pauses staring at me. “You’re okay, aren’t you? You’re not running to your mother’s to escape?”

I flush.

“No Kate. It was you who said I needed a break.”

She closes the distance between us and takes my hands – a most un-Kate thing to do.

Oh no
… tears threaten.

“You’re just, I don’t know… different. I hope you’re okay, and whatever issues you’re having with Mr. Moneybags, you can talk to me. And I will try not to wind him up, though frankly it’s like shooting fish in a barrel with him. Look, Ana, if something’s wrong, you will tell me, I won’t judge. I’ll try to understand.”

I blink back tears.

“Oh, Kate.” I hug her. “I think I’ve really fallen for him.”

“Ana, anyone can see that. And he’s fallen for you. He’s mad about you. Won’t take his eyes off you.”

I laugh uncertainly.

“Do you think so?”

“Hasn’t he told you?”

“Not in so many words.”

“Have you told him?”

“Not in so many words.” I shrug apologetically.

“Ana! Someone has to make the first move, otherwise you’ll never get anywhere.”

What… tell him how I feel?

“I’m just afraid I’ll frighten him away.”

“And how do you know he’s not feeling the same?”

“Christian, afraid? I can’t imagine him being frightened of anything.” But as I say the words, I imagine him as a small child. Maybe fear was all he knew then. Sorrow grips and squeezes my heart at the thought.

Kate gazes at me with pursed lips and narrowed eyes, rather like my subconscious – all she needs is the half-moon specs.

“You two need to sit down and talk to each other.”

“We haven’t been doing much talking lately.” I flush. Other stuff. Non-verbal communication and that’s okay. Well, much more than okay.

She grins.

“That’ll be the sexing! If that’s going well, then that’s half the battle Ana. I’ll grab some Chinese take-out. Are you ready to go?”

“I will be – we don’t have to leave for a couple of hours or so.”

“No – I’ll see you in twenty.” She grabs her jacket and leaves, forgetting to close the door. I shut it behind her and head off to my bedroom mulling over her words.

Is Christian afraid of his feelings for me? Does he even have feelings for me? He seems very keen, says I’m his – but that’s just part of his I-must-own-and-have-everything-now – control-freak dominant self, surely. I realize that while I’m away, I will have to run through all our conversations again and see if I can pick out telltale signs.

I’ll miss you too… more than you know...

You’ve completely beguiled me…

I shake my head. I don’t want to think about it now. I am charging the BlackBerry, so I haven’t had it with me all afternoon. I approach it with caution, and I’m disappointed that there are no messages. I switch on the mean machine, and there are no messages there either.
Same email address Ana
– my subconscious rolls her eyes at me, and for the first time, I understand why Christian wants to spank me when I do that.

Okay. Well, I’ll write him an email.

From:
Anastasia Steele

Subject:
Interviews

Date:
May 30 2011 18:49

To:
Christian Grey

Dear Sir

My interviews went well today.

Thought you might be interested.

How was your day?

Ana

I sit and glare at the screen. Christian’s responses are usually instantaneous. I wait… and wait, and finally I hear the welcome ping from my inbox.

From:
Christian Grey

Subject:
My day

Date:
May 30 2011 19:03

To:
Anastasia Steele

Dear Miss Steele

Everything you do interests me, you are the most fascinating woman I know.

I’m glad your interviews went well.

My morning was beyond all expectations.

My afternoon was very dull in comparison.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

From:
Anastasia Steele

Subject:
Fine Morning

Date:
May 30 2011 19:05

To:
Christian Grey

Dear Sir

The morning was exemplary for me too, in spite of you weirding out on me after the impeccable desk sex. Don’t think I didn’t notice.

Thank you for breakfast. Or thank Mrs. Jones.

I’d like to ask you questions about her – without you weirding out on me again.

Ana

My finger hovers over the send button, and I am reassured that I’ll be on the other side of the continent this time tomorrow.

From:
Christian Grey

Subject:
Publishing and You?

Date:
May 30 2011 19:10

To:
Anastasia Steele

Anastasia

‘Weirding’ is not a verb and should not be used by anyone who wants to go into publishing. Impeccable? Compared to what, pray tell? And what do you need to ask about Mrs.

Jones? I’m intrigued.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

From:
Anastasia Steele

Subject:
You and Mrs. Jones

Date:
May 30 2011 19:17