Authors: Vanessa North
Fight or Flight (15 page)
“Six months more that Walter has taken from me.”
“Hey!” One of the pilots had noticed them. “Hey, I know you.”
Tirzah rolled her eyes.
“Guys, it’s Tirzah Simonian,” the pilot announced.
A hushed silence fell over the bar.
“Wow, Simonian, for real?” one asked.
“Hey, guys.” She waved, embarrassed at the reverence in their voices.
“Someone get the lady a drink!” The pilot who’d noticed her cheered.
Claudia shook her head. “She’s got one, but thank you.” Leaning close to Tirzah, she whispered, “Do you want out?”
“No, they’ve seen me now. I’ll make nice for a bit. I promise.”
“Simonian, what are you doing out here? You were like, top of your class, Academy legend, bitchin’-est pilot in the war.”
“Oh you know, I got married.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice. One of the other guys slapped the one who’d spoken, and then whispered something in his ear.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I…”
“No, it’s okay. It’s not really all that memorable unless it happened to you.” She drained the rest of her beer and stood.
“Listen, I’d love to stay and chat, but I gotta go.” She waved with fake cheer and hurried out of the bar, Claudia on her heels. She was doing a pretty good job of holding it together as they walked toward the lift that would take them back to their ship.
“Hey, Simonian, wait up!” A voice called from behind her.
“Yeah?” She turned. One of the crew members chased them down the hallway. He stopped when he got to where she stood.
“I’m Captain Ellis, I’m senior pilot on the squadron. Listen, Captain, I understand if you’re done with fight command, I totally get it. But the Fleet has sent us out here to Solomon to patrol this side of the nebula, mostly because of what happened to your colony ship when you landed here. We’d love to have you on the squadron if you’re living out here anyway.”
If. She thought about what it might be like if she had fight command status—she could just put in a transfer order for herself and Claudia, and they’d be stationed here. At the end of each day, she could come home to the man who loved her. It was so appealing that it hurt.
“That’s sweet of you to offer, Captain, but I’ve not been cleared for fight command. I was trying to get back to Earth on time to test in January, but it’s not happening.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” He frowned. “Shit, that’s too bad since you’re already out here.”
“Thank you anyway. Maybe if you all are still here in six months.”
“Oh we will be. Solomon is going to be the home base for this side of the nebula. Hey, it was nice to meet you, you’re like a living legend.”
“Thank you, Captain, it was nice to meet you too. Enjoy your celebration.”
“Simonian?” Ellis’ voice again, and she turned.
“I’m qualified to administer the exam for fight command. It’s kind of irregular, but not entirely unprecedented for a re-qualification to be done off-Earth. You’d just need permission from an admiral. You could get the order transmitted from Solomon City. I’m willing to accept an electronic signature.”
“Really?” A flame of hope burned in her heart.
“Yeah. You get the go-ahead from an admiral, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“Ellis, thank you. I’ll call the Admiral now.”
“Any time. It will totally be worth it if I can fly with the famous Tirzah Simonian.” He smiled and waved as he walked away.
“Holy shit, Tirz!” Claudia squealed.
“Now, don’t get too excited. I still need to get permission from an admiral and pass the test.”
Claudia grinned. “C’mon, you have some calls to make.”
* * * *
Tirzah sat in the transport for a few minutes, looking at the new wings on her uniform. Unlike the silver wings she’d been wearing since she resumed pilot duties after the trial, these were gold-plated. Fight wings. She’d successfully completed the physical test. And then, the flying test. Her flying test was like hugging an old friend. After the bulky colony ships and the slow cargo ships, wrapping her hands around the controls of a fighter was the most exhilarating feeling ever. And now, she was the ranking pilot on Solomon’s newest fight squadron. Sure, they were mostly just glorified police officers at the far end of the universe, but she wore gold wings on her uniform for the first time in two years.
“Tirzah? You need help?” Josiah crossed to the open doorway of the transport. She shook her head.
“Thanks, Becky. I gotta do this alone. I’ll see you next week though, at the New Year’s party.”
“Love you, Tirzah. Good luck.” Josiah winked. She waved as she took off.
Solomon City was a short flight by transport. She found his address in the station logs and made her way to his quarters. She knocked soft, and then harder.
No answer. He wasn’t there.
Frowning, she turned around, running straight into a hard-muscled chest. He was in workout clothes, as if he’d come from the gym.
“Zeke.” His sandalwood and sweat scent washed over her as he gripped her arms to keep her from falling.
“Pixie. You’re still here? I thought you’d have left for Earth by now.”
“I’m still here.” She grinned. “And it seems there’s been a bit of a Christmas miracle.”
“Well, c’mon in, tell me all about it.” He palmed open the door and gestured for her to go inside.
“The Fleet sent a squadron to the new colony as a permanent assignment,” she began. “One of the pilots was qualified to administer the exam, so I took it. And I got my wings back.” She pointed to the wings clipped above her breast.
“Congratulations, pixie. I’m proud of you.” He bowed his head. “Thanks for telling me. Even though I’m sad to see you go, I’m happy you got what you wanted. Did you come here for a good-bye fuck?”
She reeled from his words. He hadn’t spoken to her like that since before the trial, not with that roughness crowding his voice, that harsh expression drawing his brows together.
“Zeke. I’m assigned to the new Solomon Squadron.” She took his face in her hands, forcing him to look into her eyes. “I just leased an apartment in Solomon City. I’m not going anywhere. Not for at least six months.”
“Six months, Tirzah? Isn’t that just postponing the inevitable?” He looked away again, his jaw clenching.
What the hell?
She wanted to shout at him. He was pushing her … and then it dawned on her. Just like he had pushed his wife. He was afraid. When she was leaving, he was safe in his misery. With happiness knocking at the door … he was running scared.
“It doesn’t have to be postponing anything. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. In six months, you’ll be free from your contract to Solomon Tribunal, and I can transfer anywhere in the Fleet. We can decide together. I want to be with you, Zeke. I’m sorry I pushed you away on the colony ship. I didn’t believe it was possible to have everything—”
“Pixie, you put your wings first,” he interrupted. “I was married to a woman who needed more than me; I know the signs. How can I compete with that?”
His words were a blade, slicing deep.
He thought she cared more about flying than him.
But of course he did. She’d given him no reason not to think that.
How could she explain to him it wasn’t about the wings, but about finding the Tirzah she’d lost?
“I will resign them again tomorrow if you ask me to. I didn’t put the wings first for their own sake, Zeke. I put them first because I needed to be my whole self before I could share myself with someone else. This was the last part of my former life that was missing. I’m not the girl I was, but I’m not less than her either. I still have the scars and the nightmares, but I’m a whole woman again.”
“You’d resign those pretty gold wings just for a guy?” he asked, meeting her eyes with a wary smile. “You know I’d never ask you to.”
“No. Not just for a guy. For you. Because you’d never ask me to, I’d resign them for you.” Honesty poured out of every cell in her body. “I love you, Zeke.”
She didn’t know who reached first, and she didn’t care, when he crushed his lips over hers and swept her back onto his bed. All she cared about was he was kissing her, his hands were on her, and he believed her. She made love to him with her heart engaged, giving him every bit of herself for the first time.
Later, she stood looking out over Solomon City from the window, wrapped in a sheet, watching the sun set on the horizon. Zeke stood behind her, holding her close and tucking her head under his chin.
“Stay with me, pixie. For tonight, for six months, and then at the end of six months, just keep staying. We’ve both had bad luck with marriage, so maybe that isn’t for us, but we’re good together, aren’t we?”
She turned in his arms, looping hers around his neck. She pulled him close for a kiss. “I should warn you being with a fighter isn’t easy. There are endless parties and dinners and politics.”
“I can handle that.”
“Josiah and Clau, they’re part of the package.”
“Your family is my family. I’ll put Team Wicked Genius back together again for Guszak’s trial.”
“I love you, Zeke.”
“I love you too, Tirzah.”
“Then I’ll keep staying.”
The End
About the Author
Vanessa was born in New England, but moved to the South as a teenager. She reads voraciously, writes obsessively, and takes thousands of photos of the people she loves.
She lives in Northwest Georgia with her husband, twin boy-children, and a pack of dogs.
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