Fight or Flight (22 page)

“I love you, too.” Jay’s mouth dipped to hers and he stole her next breath with a kiss. A kiss that started out hungry and only grew from there. Hands, and lips, and tongues moved frantically on both sides. Desperate to comfort each other. Desperate for more of each other.

Em’s back slammed into the wall, but she barely noticed as Jay’s lips traveled down her throat. He hoisted her up in one smooth motion and her legs wrapped around his waist. It was the middle of the afternoon in an alley visible from the street to anyone who cared to look, but she couldn’t have cared less. Jay’s mouth was like a magic eraser, wiping away all of her fear and anxiety.

His teeth grazed her collar bone and her body began to react in ways she never expected it would . . . or
could
. Heat flared, and her head dropped back against the wall. A sound she didn’t know she was capable of making escaped her lips, but that only seemed to fuel Jay’s passion. He redoubled his efforts, sucking lightly on her neck and then making his way back up to her lips. Slowly, so slowly. Up to suck on her earlobe—teasing the sensitive skin with his teeth—and then dropping tiny, feather light kisses down her jaw until finally,
finally
his mouth reunited with hers.

Another spike of heat made her
gasp, and moan. Em’s legs cinched tighter, pulling herself more firmly against him. Her hands slid up the back of his neck and threaded through his hair, trying to maintain control. She was seconds away from saying ‘screw it’ and reaching for his belt buckle when Jay pulled away with a throaty groan.

“We need to stop.
Now.”

But she didn’t want to stop. For the first time ever this felt good. It felt
right
, and she wanted to know how far she could take it. She reached his buckle anyway, but Jay caught her wrist in his hand. “Em. You’re killing me. We have to stop now.”

“Why?” She didn’t mean for it to come out as a whine, but it did.

“Because.” He chuckled and placed her hand back on his shoulder so he could lower her to the ground. “If I don’t stop now, I won’t be able to stop at all and this is hardly the place.”

Em glanced around and felt her cheeks heat up. They were practically in public and she’d been so close to . . . Thank goodness someone had been able to keep their head on straight.

“Oh . . . I . . . um.”

Jay chuckled again and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “You’re pretty damn cute when you get flustered, you know that?”

***

They’d already covered every square inch of the outlying neighborhoods without any luck. That left them with only one choice.
To head further into the heart of the city in search of a place to stay. Em didn’t like it. Mostly, because Jay didn’t like it.

It was only a little after noon, so for now everything seemed normal, but she’d never been this far into the city after dark before. Jay had made sure of it, and that worried her. She may not know what to expect, but she was fairly
certain he did. And the fact that he’d steered clear until they were desperate combined with the rigid set to his shoulders that seemed to grow more and more tense with each block they covered . . . the butterflies in Em’s stomach had morphed into something more closely resembling mutant pterodactyls.

Throughout the day, Jay’s cough had only grown worse. He must have cleared his throat close to a million times so far, but he couldn’t hold them back forever and when they did break free . . . His entire body shook with the force of them and from the way his breath rattled, she knew it had moved into his chest. If they couldn’t find a place to stay before night fell, they were going to have more problems than just the dangerous city streets.

“Jay?”

“I’m fine.” He cut off his most recent bout of coughs and rubbed what she was sure he thought was a discreet hand over his chest. But she didn’t miss it. She didn’t miss anything. Worry had turned into a magnifying glass which she watched him through, zooming in on every little distressing detail. He’d taken care of
everything she could have possibly needed since she set foot on these streets. There had to be something
she
could do for
him
, now.

“Jay, maybe we could—” He cut her off with a single glance.
Easily done, since she hadn’t actually figured out the end of that sentence, yet.

And then, like some kind of saving grace—or maybe the devil’s temptation—there was Cretan. Surrounded by girls and leering at Em like he wanted to eat her alive.

“Hey, there. You’re looking good.” Em couldn’t be sure if he recognized her or not, but by the way he licked his lips, she figured it probably didn’t really matter much. It was clear this guy only ever had one thing on his mind. And every time his eyes settled on her, she could practically see the dollar signs floating in them.

“Leave her alone.”

“What? You’re mommy never teach you to share, Jay?”

Jay growled deep in his throat. He was already raw from everything that had happened earlier and Em knew anything Cretan said would rub him the wrong way.

She pressed up on her toes, bringing her mouth to his ear so she could be sure he’d hear her, “Let’s go.”

“Aw, you’re not even going to hear me out?” Cretan actually had the nerve to look hurt.

“I’m not interested,” she sniped before Jay could get the chance. They’re been through all of this already.

“But you haven’t even heard what I have to offer. I’ve got food, beds . . .”

Jay tried to cut him off, but a series of deep chest coughs broke out the moment he opened his mouth. Cretan only smirked at him.

“I can even get my hands on medicine when I need it.
The good stuff. What do you say? You look like you could use a warm place to stay.”

Em’s heart sped up. He may be a creep, but he had what they needed and he was offering to help. “What about Jay?”

Cretan’s eyes flashed with so much excitement and hunger that it made her instantly regret opening her mouth. “He can come, too. If that’s what you want.”

Jay moved faster than Em previously believed to be humanly possible. In half a second flat, he’d shoved past her and had Cretan pinned against the wall, his forearm planted firmly across his windpipe.

“You ever proposition her again . . . You ever so much as
speak
to her again, so help me, it will be the last thing you ever do. You get me?”

Em had
never seen this side of Jay before. Even Cretan’s girls looked too surprised and frightened to do a thing to help him.

“
You. Get. Me
?” Jay tightened his grip on Cretan’s shirt collar, leaning into him to apply more pressure.

“Jay, come on. Let’s go.” He was resistant to release his prey, so Em laid a cautious hand on his shoulder. “Come on, Jay. Let’s get out of here.”

With one last shove for good measure, Jay released Cretan and spun around to snatch Em’s hand. He practically dragged her down the street for several blocks before rounding into a deserted alleyway with nothing but trash and debris littering the ground around them. He was breathing hard. From exertion or anger, she couldn’t tell. She just waited anxiously knotting her fingers together while he paced, composing himself.

“What the hell was
that
?”

“He said he had someplace warm to stay. And medicine.” Jay looked at her liked she’d lost her mind, so she pressed on. “Jay, you’re sick and I thought—”

“Nothing he offers is free, Em.
Nothing
! Is that what you want? Do you
want
to be one of his street girls working corners every night, doing God knows what with God knows who? Is
that
what you want?”

Em’s eyes dropped to the pavement as she slowly shook her head. No, that wasn’t what she wanted at all.

“I just wanted to help,” she mumbled, ashamed she’d even considered it.

“I know. I know you did.” The anger drained from his words
on a long sigh, but she still couldn’t bring herself to look at him. “And I love you for that, but don’t you ever get involved with him, Em. Not for me. Not ever.” Rough, calloused fingers dipped under her chin and gently lifted her face until she was forced to look him in the eye. “Everything’s going to all right, Em. I promise you.”

He tugged her close and she mumbled into his chest as his warm arms wrapped tightly around her. “I can’t lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me, baby. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never leave you alone, I swear.” He dropped his chin on top of her head, and she burrowed deeper into his hard chest, wishing desperately she could just climb inside him and be a part of him forever.

They stayed that way for a long time, just holding on to one another and trying not to think about anything else until Jay cleared his throat carefully several times in an obvious effort to stave off yet another coughing fit. He was trying not to frighten her, but knowing what he was doing had already done the job. “We have to find somewhere to spend the night. Someplace
warm
, Jay.”

“I know. We will.”

Chapter Thirty-nine

Jay

Just the thought of what Em had been willing to do to help him caused him dread and comfort all at once. No one had ever done anything like that for him before. She was so brave.
Too
damn brave. And it scared the crap out of him.

He held her close, wanting nothing more than to hold onto that kind of love and never let it go, but they couldn’t stay long. As usual their life was a ticking clock and they were running out of time. The sun would set in a few hours and he still had no idea where they’d go. 

Another cough tickled the back of his throat. Jay tried to cover it, but knew he’d failed when Em stiffened in his arms. He was scaring her, and he hated himself for it.

“We have to find somewhere to spend the night. Someplace
warm
, Jay.”

He would make this better. He had to. “I know. We will.”

Fate couldn’t be cruel all the time. Even her favorite whipping boy had to catch a break now and then, and he was long overdue. Jay wove his fingers through Em’s and held her hand tightly, not ready to let her go just yet.

On the sidewalk, surrounded by bustling crowds and noisy cars, Jay paused to get his bearings. There had to be something—some
where
—he wasn’t thinking of. There had to be—

“Yo! Jay!” Skunk was standing at the crosswalk across the street waving frantically at them.

Not wanting to burn the few bridges he actually had out here, Jay waved back and then turned to go in the opposite direction. Whatever he wanted, they didn’t have time for it.

“Yo, yo, Jay, hold up man.” The light had changed and Skunk was barreling down on them. There was nothing to do but stop and wait for him. And hope this would be quick.

“Hi, Skunk.” Em actually smiled at him, and a small part of Jay wanted to turn around and keep walking just for that alone.

“Hey, Em.
How’s it goin’?” Skunk turned his attention back to Jay for an answer. If he thought he was about to get the inside scoop on a comfy new squat he was shit-out-of-luck.

“Not great.
How ‘bout you?”

“Good.
Really good. Where you guys been stayin’?”

“Here and there.”

“Ah man, no new squat yet?” Yep, definitely fishing.

Jay sighed.
“No man, not yet.”

“No worries. I got a place.”

Well, that was . . . unexpected.

“You found a new squat?”

“Yeah. You guys wanna crash with me a few days or somethin’?”

If life had taught Jay anything it was that if something seemed too good to be true, you should run like hell in the opposite direction. But Em’s hand squeezed his and she was practically bouncing on her toes in excitement. How could he deny her this?

“You sure, man? No one’s gonna mind us showing up there?”

“Nah.
It’s cool. I got a room all to myself, and you know I’m never there at night. It’s perfect. I’ll keep an eye on your crap during the day and you watch mine at night. Built in security system.”

Jay didn’t bother pointing out that they didn’t actually have any crap. If Skunk was offering them a place to stay just for making sure no one swiped his stuff while he was out, he’d take it.

“Sounds good. Where is this place?”

“I’m just on my way to meet some people, but I’ll show ya where it is first. Come on.”

If she hadn’t been so exhausted, Jay was fairly certain Em would have been skipping down the sidewalk beside him. She was practically swimming in giddiness and it made him smile. Maybe their luck was finally turning around.

“Okay, man. That’s it.
Third floor, first door on the right. Gotta run. I’ll see ya later.”