Fight With Me (Fight and Fall) (14 page)

             
I look over at them, inwardly cringing in fear and anticipation. Well, I guess I better get my ass in the bathroom and piss on that stick. Okay, Emma, you’ve got this.

             
I drag my pathetic body from the bed, my knees practically touching when I walk, the nerves rattling my body.

             
I sit down on the toilet, do my thing, and silently pray that whatever happens, everything will be okay. I breathe in through my nose and exhale out through my mouth. I practice steadying my breath, careful to not provoke another panic attack. Wouldn’t that be just precious, Emma? You having a little panic attack while waiting for your results. If you can’t even handle the wait, how will you handle the results?

             
My three minutes seems like it’s up, as I try to figure out how to approach this. Should I read it alone or give it to Leslie and Lucas to break the news to me?

             
Oh, stop being a pussy, Emma, and read the damn thing on your own!

             
I look down at the stick seeing two lines. The two lines that I was not ready to see. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

No, no, no! How could this happen? I mean, I know exactly how it happened, but c’mon! I slept with Aiden one time, one time without protection. I knew being knocked up was a possibility but I honestly didn’t think the test would actually have a positive result.

             
My hands start shaking as I drop the test to the floor. Bad fucking timing, that’s what this is. I’m too scared to text or call him right now. I don’t want to add more to his plate. It’s pretty much filled to the brink as it is right now.

             
Okay, Emma. You need to stop freaking out and figure out what your next move is. You can’t work in a bar while being pregnant. Too much stress and overwork is not a good thing. I don’t know much about babies or pregnancy but I do know that the first few months are critical to development. I will not put this baby in any danger. If I were to put myself in a bad situation and miscarry, I would never forgive myself.

             
I can’t count on Aiden to be there for me right now. It’s not right to ask him to forget everything he’s dealing with and focus on me. I know the second I’m pregnant, he’ll drop everything and be there for my pregnancy.

             
I’m not even sure when he’ll be coming home. All I know is that I need to get out of town as soon as possible. The whole Marcus thing still gives makes me uneasy and I don’t trust him to leave me alone. I need to fully figure things out today and once I make that decision, I will tell Aiden everything.

             
Maybe I should move back to Arizona to live with my mom and step-dad. It’s not the ideal situation, considering the reason I left there in the first place, but I know they’ll support me and help me with my pregnancy. I need a good support system and Leslie and Lucas can’t be there for me every step of the way. They have work and their own lives to worry about. I won’t burden them anymore if I can help it.

             
I finally decide to emerge from the bathroom and tell them my good news.
Good
being the ambiguous term.

             
I go back into the bedroom and see them holding hands, lost in each other. I clear my throat to get their attention. They glance over at me, anticipation blatantly visible in their eyes.

             
“So, as both of you may have discovered, I make the worst decisions ever. I keep fucking up my life, over and over again, never learning my lesson. Well, I can now proudly say that I will be in charge of another person’s life now,” I say, my voice breaking at the end.

             
My eyes start to water, tears falling uncontrollably. I close them, willing myself to not break down in front of them.

             
“Em, sweetheart, everything will be okay,” Lucas says enveloping me in hug.

             
I wrap my arms around him, crying into his chest. I feel Leslie come up behind me, rubbing small circles on my back.

             
“We’ll do whatever you need, Emma. Try not to worry too much. I love babies…well, except for the crapping themselves part and having to clean it up,” he says trying to lighten the mood.

             
I chuckle into his chest, still crying, but feeling slightly less sad and alone.

             
“I just…I don’t know what to do. The timing is awful!” I breathe out.

             
“That’s life, Em. If everything happened when we wanted it to, there would be no stress or drama. Are you sure it’s just the timing or do you not want…” he says not finishing his sentence.

             
“Honestly, I never even considered having children until Jeremiah and Aiden brought it up. Would I love to have a real family? Yes, I would love to with Aiden but…I just don’t know if I’m capable of it. I didn’t grow up with one, so I have nothing to measure it by. I didn’t get a step-dad until I was in my late teens. What if the baby hates me or Aiden does? Maybe he thinks he wants a child with me and ends up just feeling trapped. What if I’m not cut out to be a mom?” I sigh.

             
“What if you are, Em? What if you’re just overthinking things and wanting them to go wrong. You sell yourself short. Everyone makes mistakes, some bigger than others. That’s not a good reason to doubt yourself though. If anything, it should give you motivation to change the past. You’re in a position that you’ve never been in before. Maybe this is your wake-up call,” he says.

             
“Sometimes you’re wise beyond your years, Lucas,” I chuckle.

             
“I didn’t used to be until you came along, Em. You made me see things in a new light,” he says.

             
I look up and see him smiling sweetly behind me. I’m guessing he’s referring to Leslie. Lucky bitch, I inwardly chuckle.

“Do you want anything to eat or drink, sweetheart?” Lucas asks nicely.

“Not right now but thanks, Lucas. My stomach is in knots right now. I’ll make sure to grab something before work.”

“Are you sure you’re up for that?” Lucas asks, his face etched in concern.

“No but I have to be. It’s not like I can just stay home. I’ll just end up stressing even more and wallowing in self-pity,” I say matter-of-fact.

He nods his head at me, obviously understanding my logic.

“I’ll leave you alone to rest and think about things. Call me as soon as you leave for work. I have to be there early, so I can’t walk with you,” he says apologetically. “Unless you don’t feel safe enough. You can come in early with me if you want.”

“No, I’ll be okay. I’ll just take some pepper spray or something. Maybe a
small shiv for backup protection,” I say, cracking a dark smile.

Hey, I may be scared of what Marcus might do to me but I still have a sense of humor about the whole thing. He may have taken my sense of security, at least what was left of it, but not my bad jokes.

“If you’re sure…” he says worriedly.

I nod my head, adamant by my decision. I may regret this but I’m a stubborn bitch right now. I could
just blame it on the pregnancy, but that’s just classic me.

“Okay,
Em,” Lucas says kissing my forehead.

I smile at him, watching him
and Leslie as they retreat from my room.

I close my eyes, sighing for dramatic effect.

Shit, Emma. What have you got yourself into? I think to myself over and over again. My depressing thoughts keeping me company before work.

             
A few hours later, I’m ready as I’ll ever be. Lucas said he had to come in to the bar early today, so here I am, walking across the street all alone. I’m glad I broke down and got on board with some pepper spray or what I like to call ‘cock block with a kick’ spray.

I look
over at
Leo’s
, the last person I expected to see gracing the entrance of the bar.

             
Really? You have got to be kidding me?! As if I didn’t have enough stress in my life.

             
“She just got here. I’ll talk to you later,” I hear Jessica say into her phone as I get closer.

             
Um, that’s fucking weird. Who is she talking to and why would she be talking about me to the person on the other end of the line?

             
I notice that she’s donning a skin tight, white dress, her chest piece proudly displayed above her huge tits.

Wow, is she going to a night club later because
I’m pretty sure there aren’t any in town. Ha, she’s probably going to a shift at the strip club. Yeah, that sounds more like her style.

             
I try to take the high road and ignore her, making my way into the bar with no such luck. This bitch has obviously been anxiously planning a confrontation. Okay, Jessica, I’ll try to play nice but if you go too far, it’s
so
on bitch.

             
“You think you can ignore me? Fucking look at me, you whore!” she snarls at me.

             
I sigh, realizing that she wants a fight. Well, I’m not here to disappoint. I’ll play her game and beat her at it too.

             
“What the fuck do you want, Jessica?! There is nothing that you need to say to me, so bye!” I say sidestepping her as I wave sarcastically.

             
She grabs my arm roughly, making me face her once again. Damn, for a skinny bitch, she sure has strength. I wonder what drug she’s on right now that gives her Hulk-like abilities.

             
“I know what you want, Emma. You think you’ve fooled Aiden but not me. He’s my husband and everything that he has belongs to
me
. Don’t fucking think that just because he’s back in town you can worm your way back into his life,” she spits out.

             
Aiden’s back in town? What? Why didn’t he tell me or call me to say that he was here? She’s either lying or he doesn’t want me to know that he’s back. I roll my eyes in aggravation. I really don’t need this right now.

             
“Look, I have no idea what you’re talking about but our relationship is none of your business. To be honest, I’m pretty much confused and disgusted that he ever married you. You’re white trash and you don’t have one caring bone in your entire body. I may have fucked Aiden while you two were still married, but believe me, if I knew he was legally married to you, I wouldn’t have touched him with a ten foot pole.”

             
“I don’t care that you fucked him! Do you honestly think that I’m jealous? I wouldn’t even want him to touch me ever again. He’s not a real man, especially since he lost his hand. I could barely stand the sight of him and those disgusting scars well before the crash,” she says nastily.

             
Wow, it’s one thing to insult me but insulting Aiden is an entirely different matter. I’m fucking pissed that she could even think, let alone say, something that hurtful. Who the fuck does she think she is?

             
“I dare you to say one more thing bad about him, Jessica. I fucking dare you, bitch,” I say.

             
“You think you scare me? I wouldn’t be threatening me if I were you, Emma,” she smirks.

             
“Oh, yeah, and why’s that?” I say amused.

             
“Because I know why you left Arizona,” she says as I pale. “
Google
can be really helpful when you need to find out about someone. I wonder if Aiden knows the real reason why you left…”

             
“Oh, I’m guessing he doesn’t by your reaction. What if somebody were to tell him? Do you think he would go down there and defend you? I think we both know he would. Wouldn’t it be unfortunate if he ended up in jail because of it too?” she says laughing.

             
This woman is insane. She knows the reason I moved here and now she thinks I’ll cower in fear of her.

             
“Congratulations! You managed to research me on
Google
. I’m sure it was a major inconvenience for you. You seem like a busy girl. Were you in between blowjobs and lines of coke when you looked me up?” I say smartly.

             
I know I just sealed me fate by insulting her, but I just don’t give a fuck anymore. I can’t live in fear of what people might find out.

             
Her face turns into a mask of hatred. I’m guessing I hit below the belt on that one, pun most definitely intended.

             
“You fucking cunt!” she yells practically like a battle cry.

             
She lifts her hand up towards my face and before she tries to slap me, I grab her forearm harshly.

             
“Feisty much? I may have
let
you hit me before, but that was just a freebie. Fucking try anything else and I will fight back, Jessica. You think you have me wrapped around your little finger? Well, you don’t! I’m not some guy with a dick between his legs that will answer to you and be manipulated. That shit might have worked with Aiden, but not with me, sweetie,” I spit out, seriously fed up with her.