Fighting Desire (Bay State Series Book 2) (6 page)

We lay there panting for what seems like an eternity before he speaks. “I love you Sarah, I've missed this, I've missed you, thank you so much for letting me explain. I promise I'll never hurt you again.”

“I love you too Brent. Thank you.” I tell him before drifting off into a peaceful sleep, tucked safely in his strong arms.

                                *****

Lying awake staring at his handsome face, I run my hand over his shoulder and down his arm, tracing the lines of the muscles along his biceps. He starts to stir from the sensation and I freeze, not wanting to wake him. “Mmmm, don't stop. I love the feeling of your hands on me.” He tells me  and snuggles closer, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me to him.

We lay in a tight embrace for a while before I reluctantly move to get up. “Come on baby, I promised I'd help Ilyanna clean up the hall this morning. Braydon will be there so you can tag along if you want.” I don't want to be clingy but more than that I don't want to be away from him either.

As he stretches, my sheets fall below his waist revealing his sexy as sin body in all of it's morning glory and suddenly I really don't feel like doing anything but climbing back into bed with him.

“Like what you see?” He asks with a grin. No doubt remembering the first time he asked me that question and my brazen reply.

“As a matter of fact I do.” I answer him with a wink. “Always. I love what I see but if I don't get in the shower now we'll never make it to the hall in time to get it finished before the deadline.” I turn and saunter towards the bathroom. I hear the springs whine in protest as he leaps off the bed to follow me.

                                *****

Time to face the inquisitions surely to come from our friends about our happy reunion.

As we walk into the same venue we left together from last night, eyebrows raise in question. There's more help here than I anticipated, which also means there are more than just a couple inquiring minds. Great, I'm really not looking forward to being bombarded by everyone. Thankfully after a few seconds everyone turns back to there tasks and I head over to Ilyanna who looks so damn cute with her baby bump. I can only hope I look that good while pregnant.

“Hey girl, what's up?” She asks in greeting. “You look good this morning.” I look down at my loose capri pants and baggy three quarter sleeve Redsox tee and smirk.

“That obvious huh?” We both laugh at my embarrasment as I turn beat red.

She flings herself at me giving me a hug. “I knew you two would make it back to each other. I have to say it's about time. I thought your were never going to let go of your stubborness and hear him out. I'm glad you did.” She tilts her head in his direction and I look over at him joking and laughing with Braydon, George and Frank as they pull down decorations from the chandeliers and banisters lining the hall around the dancefloor.

I can't help but stare a little too long at my man. He looks sexy in anything he wears. I definitely favor him in blue jeans, which he's wearing today. He also opted for Redsox, his being a tank instead of a tee with his hat turned backwards. I don't know what it is about him wearing his hat like that. Maybe it's the way it draws my attention to the sharp lines of his face. But damn I want to go climb him right here and now.

“Hello! Earth to Sarah.” My focus is brought back to Ilyanna snapping her fingers in my face and letting out a loud cackle. “Damn girl you do have it bad.”

Trying my best to keep my attention on her while he's standing on the other side of the room, I bring the conversation around to her. “Your looking good momma. How are you feeling?”

“Actually Braydon and I were hoping to talk to you about that. The doctor's afraid I'm high risk for gestational diabetes and wants me off of my feet as much as possible. Of course Braydon's flipping his shit, he didn't even want me coming to help today. Can you believe he actually tried getting me to leave the wedding early last night? Bull shit, I'm not going to roll over and die. I will concede to some things but not everything.” I listen intently with worry for my friend. She looks healthy to me but what do I know? I'm no doctor, not even close. “So we were wondering if you'll be ready to come back to the office any time soon? We'd like for you take my place as Braydon's assistant in my absense. You've proven yourself valuable to us and it would make us both extremely grateful if you'd except. You would get a salary increase of course.

I must look like a fish out of water, mouth hanging agape and I can't help but think about how it's even possible for this woman to be so forgiving. I wish I was as confident as she is in my relationship. I still hate myself for my brief indescretion where Braydon is concerned but the more I think about it, they weren't together at the time so I guess I don't really know how I would feel. I've never been quite in her shoes. Could I ever befriend Trisha? I don't think so. Completely different scenario anyway so it's a moot point.

“So?” She prompts me, taking me away from my musing.

“Sorry. Yes of course. I can start whenever you need me.” My acceptance puts the biggest smile on her face making me mirror her, splitting my mouth into an equally wide grin.

She engulfs me again in a tight hug, and I'm suddenly feeling jealous of her protuding belly. I wonder if Brent wants to have kids? “Yay! I can't wait to tell Braydon the great news. Let's get this place finished up and head to the house. We're gonna throw some steaks on the grill and you guys are more than welcome to tag along.” As if on cue from the mention of food, our stomachs choose that time to rumble and we both bust out into a fit of giggles.

                                *****

Sitting on a lounge on their back deck, Ilyanna and I discuss the order of events that made me finally agree to hear Brent out, while we watch our men man the grill.

“I love the new house.” I say to take the subject away from me for a while.

“We were going to wait until the baby came but still checked out property listings from time to time and just couldn't pass this up.” Their new home in West Roxbury puts them roughly thirty minutes from work but the property is beautiful with a large sprawling backyard, fenced in inground pool and endless gardens surrounding the acreage. Tall shrubs line the space ensuring privacy. I'm quite envious but at the same time I couldn't be happier for them, it's absolutely perfect.

“It's gorgeous, you'll have to give me a tour later after we eat.” I don't want to chance taking my eyes away from the food in chance there's suddenly none left when we get back. “Have you thought anymore about a date for the wedding?” Grasping for things to talk about I'm curious about their decision to wait for the baby before they tie the knot.

“We're really not in any hurry but we've come to the conclusion we'll have it here with a justice of the peace. Neither of us wants anything too fancy and Braydon wants to keep it low key so we don't attract a circus. I can't say I blame him. I hate too much attention.” This would make a perfect venue for a wedding. I couldn't agree more. “As far as the date, we still can't decide. He really wants to be able to take me away on a romantic honeymoon and I don't want to leave the baby too soon. Possibly waiting a couple of years is in the cards. We're going to table the discussion and revisit it from time to time to decide if we're ready to set a date.” Damn I don't think I could wait that long.

I find myself starting to daydream. I'm standing on a beach somewhere in a long flowing white gown, barefoot, reciting my vows to the man I love. I smile to myself and lose myself in the fantasy.

Second chance

Standing at the grill with Braydon, I can't help but stare at Sarah while she talks animatedly with Ilyanna, lounging across the deck.

“Have you heard a word I said?” He asks, breaking my gaze and switching my attention to him.

“Sorry lost in thought.”

“Yeah I can see that. So how did it go last night?” He takes a swig of his Sam Adams, eying me, waiting.

His question makes me relive last night in my head, finally having her against me again. Her soft smooth skin, moving in unison with mine like we were never apart. In sync, mind and body. I can still taste her on my lips. When he punches my arm suddenly, I reach up and clutch it. “Ow! What the fuck man.” We laugh as I rub my tender muscles. He packs a mean punch.

“That good huh?” He asks and I can't help but punch him back. “Seriously though. Everything cool with you two?”

I look over at her and see she's staring at me with a dreamy expression on her face. When she notices me her face lights up, reflecting my own. I turn back to Braydon, my grin still firmly in place. “Yeah, you could say that. We went back to her place and talked it out.” Deciding to change the subject, not really wanting to go into  detail, I turn the conversation onto him. “So how are things with you? Haven't seen much of you lately.”

Looking around himself he lets out a long sigh. “Man it's been an exhausting two weeks. With having to move so quick out of our other place and into this one. Ilyanna's doctors appointments. Closings with the lawyers. I need a vacation.” He scrubs his hands along his face, looking as worn out as he says he feels.

“Why so quick? Couldn't you take as much time as you wanted? It's not like you had to sell the other place.” I ask because face it, money's not something he needs to worry about. Not that he ever flaunts it. He's very humble and I respect the hell out of him for it. Not all millionares are so modest. They wave some bills around and immediately have anything they want. Braydon's different and I can't help but look up to him like big brother.

He chuckles, shaking his head before he answers. “Dude, I wish you could have been there, it was pathetic. This college chick comes to look at it with her parents. She's a little older so I think it's post grad or something. Falls in love with it and wants it right away.” He stops to catch his breath and I look over at Sarah to see she's watching me again, she tries to be subtle but I can see it. I blow her a kiss this time and she catches it, placing it against her heart. I wink and turn back to Braydon as he continues his story. “I let them know the closing would be in ninety days and this chick throws a fit. Full on dramatics. So long story short. Her father wouldn't take no for an answer, offered me way too much money which I refused to take but in the end had an immediate signing with our lawyers, promising to be out in ten days.” He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, like recalling it is giving him a headache. “Honestly I just wanted to shut the little spoiled brat up. Ilyanna kept giving me pleading looks, I assumed she just wanted them out. And since this place was already empty, I didn't really see a problem.”

Shit, just imagining the pampered princess is making my head hurt. “How's Ilyanna feeling?” This is good, keep the focus off of me and Sarah. I don't want to say too much. Knowing my luck, I'll  jynx us or some shit.

“I'm glad you reminded me. Now I don't know if Ilyanna mentioned anything to her at the hall but we want Sarah back at the office. The doctors are a little concerned she's at risk of gestational diabetes and they want her to rest more. We want Sarah to take her place. Would you be alright with that? Seeing her at the office everyday again. I don't want it to be too much too soon, for you.”

Is he kidding I never want to take my eyes off of her ever again. Trying hard not to let onto just how much I want that, I say as calmly as I can manage. “That's cool, I think we're at a good place now.”

“I'd say from the looks you two keep giving each other, your in a really good place right now.” His comment makes me look to her again and sure enough her eyes are trained on me, she still looks lost in thought. I continue to watch her, wearing a slight smile on her full lips. I would give anything to know what she's thinking about right now.

“I hope so, she's given me a second chance and I don't plan on fucking it up this time.”

“Would you please go wake your woman up.” Ilyanna comes up behind me, scaring the shit out of me and making me jump. “Sorry.” She smiles and waves her arm towards Sarah. “Your sleeping beauty awaits.” She finishes with a slight chuckle.

Braydon takes her in a loving embrace and I bow out gracefully to go see what has my girl looking so lost. As I walk towards her she seems to snap out of it, blinking rapidly, looking up at me from her sitting position, she greets me. “Hi handsome.”

Taking the seat next to her, I put my arm around her and she leans into me. Kissing her head I ask, “So what had you so deep in thought?”

She blushes deep scarlet like whatever she was thinking about is embarrasing her. “I was thinking about us.”

“Well I hope it was good.”

“Oh, it was definitely good.”

“Care to share?” I ask as I run my hand up and down her arm, raising goosebumps in my wake.

“We were on a beach, and it was so beautiful. It seemed so real. Like we were actually there.” She buries her face in my shoulder.

“That sounds nice. Do you want to go next weekend? Not much to do there in March but I'm sure we could find something.” I continue to stroke her arm and she shivers. “Are you cold?” It's starting to get dark and the temperature has started to drop.

“Ah, no. But your hand is having other effects on me.” She wraps her arm around my waist and answers my earlier question. “As for next weekend I can't. I promised my brother I would take a trip to see him. Can you come along? I'd love for you to meet my parents. As far as Hampton, I'll take a raincheck. Sounds like fun. But in my fantasy it was a private beach and we were surrounded by friends and family.”

Shit.

I stiffen momentarily, obviously not brief enough to go unnoticed.

“I'm sorry.” She says as she pulls away from me slightly.

I pull her closer to me again. “Don't be. This is my hang up, not yours. I love you Sarah, I'm just a little jaded on the constitution of marriage. It's not that I don't ever want to get married again because I do. It's just too soon.” Just sitting there holding her, I hear her sniffle. “Please baby don't cry.” Fuck. Here I go again hurting her.

“It's okay Brent really, I don't know why I thought it was a good thing to mention something like that so soon. It was just a silly daydream.” She quiets down after a few minutes.

I pull her face up to mine for a quick kiss. “Come on lets go eat, we can see the rest of the house and then we'll go back to my place.”

She just nods her head and follows me to where Braydon and Ilyanna are standing. We help them bring the food over to the table. Conversation between us as we eat is seldom. I can't help but think I may have put us a step in the wrong direction when my reflex reaction betrayed me. I would marry her tomorrow if I could. I still have a lot to prove to her. I'm doing it right this time.

“So how's Luke been?” Ilyanna asks Sarah as we're cleaning up the patio.

Sarah lights up as she talks about her brother. “He's been feeling a lot better lately, We're hopeful that he won't need any more treatments. The doctors say the worst is behind us now. We're going to visit him this weekend.”

I hate that time in her life when he was in the hospital fighting his cancer. The fact that she used to dance naked in front of other men makes me nauseous. I try not to think about it that often if at all. At the same time I have a certain respect for her that she could be so selfless and step out of her comfort zone so he could get the treaments needed to beat it. She'd said that it was the quickest way for her to make the kind of money she needed to help her parents with the bills. Of course they had no idea where the payments were coming from. She kept them anonymous. She has such a big heart and I'm so thankful to have a part of it.

“I'm glad. What you've told me about him, he seems like good kid.”

“He's the best. Although a little cranky lately, honestly can't say I blame him though.” I hear her respond as I walk into the house with Braydon, arms loaded down with dishes. Carrying them to the sink I rinse them off and put them in the dishwasher.

“Thanks, you didn't have to do that.” He tells me as he puts the condiments in the fridge.

“No problem, I don't mind. Growing up it was expected of me to help around the house. My mom would always say she was getting me ready for the real world. If I didn't learn to clean up after myself nobody else was gonna do it for me.” Thinking back on better times with my Mom, I can't help but get a little sad. I haven't talked to her in so long but I won't let myself feel guilty, the solitude was her own doing. I've decided a long time ago to keep the things that I can't change in the past under lock and key, right where they belong and move forward with my life. If I didn't it would slowly gnaw away at any and everything good in my life.

I can see Sarah through the sliding doors and she looks so happy. I can't help but feel I have a lot to do with that. I smile to myself and watch as she and Ilyanna head into the house. “Are you about ready?  I told Ilyanna I would start back at the office tomorrow so I want to get home and get some house work done before bed.”

“You're not coming back to my place?” I ask, suddenly feeling hurt. Did my reaction have that much of an impact on her feelings?

She shakes her head, eyes cast down towards the floor. “I thought I'd just go home tonight.” The last part was said so low I barely heard the words coming out of her mouth.

“Alright guys I'll talk to you later so I can get her home. Braydon, I'll see you in the morning. Ilyanna, have a good night. Thanks for dinner.” I feel like a two year old as I turn around and walk towards the door.

Reaching my car, I can hear her quick footsteps catching up to me. “Wait!” She yells to me. Her hand lands on my shoulder making me freeze. “Why are you being like this?” I ignore her question silently fuming. Why am I? Rejection?

Turning around I look into her eyes which are pleading with me. “I thought you were coming home with me. Sorry if I was happy about that fact. Then you throw this on me. It was just unexpected.”

“Well next time, before you go into asshole mode, wait until we're alone. That was one awkward exit I had to make. I was going to ask you to come home with me. But now I'm not so sure. It won't kill us to spend a night apart every now and then.” She stands on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around my neck. “Come on grumpy, let's stop by your place to grab your stuff for work tomorrow. We can drive to the office together.”

I walk her to her door, opening it for her before going around the car to slide inside. Hesitant to start the car, I stare at her face reflected in the moonlight. “I'm sorry,” I tell her. Turning forward, I crank the car and back down the driveway. Thinking back to the look on Braydon and Ilyanna's faces in response to my sudden attitude. Yeah, I must have looked like a complete dick.