Fighting Fate (2 page)

breeze. None of that centered her though. No, she only knew of one way to do that. One way she

wasn’t ready to face.

Her wolf might crave the dark wolf with rough edges who haunted her dreams, but that didn’t

mean the woman inside would succumb.

She was stronger than that.

She was Cailin Jamenson.

Redwood Pack princess.

Lone daughter of the Jamenson clan.

Younger sister to six over-protective yet loving brothers.

Aunt to countless nieces and nephews.

The Beta’s assistant.

And lost.

So
fucking
lost.

She knew what the others saw when they looked at her, the raven-black hair, the light green eyes.

So many others had told her she was one of the most beautiful people they’d ever seen. What a load

of crap. Even if they weren’t just saying that because of who she was, she wouldn’t take it at face

value. She’d seen true beauty in the selfless acts of her sisters and friends. They were the beautiful

ones. Cailin usually responded to those who spoke only of her looks that they hadn’t seen that many

people. Most didn’t see beyond the surface, beyond the blood in her veins.

Someone murmured something behind her, and she blinked, forcing her attention to what was

going on in front of her rather than wallowing in the shames she should have buried. Shames that

weren’t really shames at all, not in the grand scheme of things. She’d always tried to be so strong for

others, and in turn, hadn’t treated those she now loved with the respect they deserved. She’d tried to

fix that over time, but she wasn’t sure she was worth it. Others worried so much for her and her

safety, she knew they weren’t taking care of themselves like they should. She needed to stop acting so

self-centered, so hurt and broken when it was her own doing.

When her father, the Alpha of the Redwood Pack, put his hand on North’s shoulder then did the

same to Lexi’s, solidifying their bond and mating in front of the Pack, Cailin sucked in a breath and

pasted on a smile.

She was happy for them, she really was.

She hated herself for wanting what they had and what they were just beginning.

North cupped Lexi’s face, kissing her so softly it looked as if it was barely a whisper. Their

gazes never left each other, though Cailin knew North couldn’t see Lexi. He’d been blinded in their

last battle with the Centrals, but that didn’t stop him from living his life to the fullest. Cailin

swallowed hard, burying her own pain. Her brother looked so in love, so
whole
after being alone for

decades, hiding his own darkness until Lexi came along and found what Cailin and her family had

missed.

North had needed his mate, his Lexi.

Had needed her more than anything in the world.

He needed their son, Parker, and the bonds that came with mating and fatherhood. Those

grounded him and kept his wolf calm.

Cailin would never allow the love and connections to settle her.

She vowed she wouldn’t. At least, that’s what she’d told herself over and over, what she said to

herself the moment she’d laid eyes on Lexi’s brother.

Her gaze met that of the other man at Lexi’s side, and she raised her chin. She wouldn’t have

him. Couldn’t have him. She just needed to remind her wolf that.

Remind everyone who thought so much of her of that fact.

He gave her a small nod, and her wolf brushed against her skin, a soft caress. A plea for

submission, dominance, mating, and everything in between.

Logan. Lexi’s brother.

Cailin’s potential mate.

No, she wouldn’t be mating with him. She’d lived her life with seven dominant men—not even

counting the others in the Pack who’d watched her grow up—telling her what to do, how to act, how

to behave. She’d vowed to herself long ago she wouldn’t be following the same routine for eternity

tied to a man she felt was even stronger than her brothers.

Even darker than her brothers.

The wolf wouldn’t be able to stop himself from dominating her, and that wasn’t what she craved,

what she
needed
in order to survive whole.

Logan narrowed his eyes, but Cailin didn’t miss the promise in his gaze. Promise of something

far greater than the anticipation and trepidation she’d been burying deep inside since she’d met him.

Damn it, she’d run out of time. She’d been dancing on the fine line of temptation and playing hide and

seek for far too long when it came to the wolf standing across the aisle. The wolf wouldn’t wait for

Cailin’s cue anymore. No, he’d take what he thought was his. What he thought the Pack and she

herself wanted.

Cailin’s wolf, though she panted as well, sneered. Well, he’d just have to wait an eternity for

that, wouldn’t he?

Cailin wasn’t some weak-kneed little girl. She’d fight for her freedom—just like she’d always

done.

“Stop growling, little sister. You’re scaring the children.”

Cailin winced at her brother Maddox’s words and tried to smile again. It came out more like a

grimace, but at least it was something. “Sorry,” she whispered. She’d let her emotions get the best of

her and let others know what was going on inside her mind when she hadn’t wanted them to know too

much. Not the best way to observe a mating ceremony while trying to remain stoic and happy at the

same time.

Maddox put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Her wolf calmed down from the

storm Cailin wasn’t even aware was brewing. She didn’t sigh or relax, even if her wolf was ready to

bare her belly for her brother who seemed to know just how to make her feel loved and cared for.

This was why wolves were such tactile creatures. The barest touch and her wolf felt cemented,

loved.

Her brother bushed his lips over her temple. “The ceremony is over, Cai. You can go stand in a

corner and hide from the big bad wolf if you’d like. No one would fault you.” Though his words were

teasing, the meaning behind them held the hints of truth she wasn’t ready to face. And having her

brother call her meekness out filled her with a rage she knew wasn’t fully on his shoulders.

He would bear the brunt of it anyway.

Cailin turned and faced him, her claws scraping along the insides of her fingertips at the taunt.

She lifted her lip and bared a fang. Maddox only laughed, the scar on his face tightening as he did so.

Her heart tugged at the sight. She despised that damn scar and all it represented. The now-dead

Central Alpha, Corbin, had carved him up years go. The bastard had tortured her brother because of a

prophecy that hadn’t even been about Maddox to begin with.

No, it had been about North.

The same North that had killed Corbin anyway.

The prophecy had been correct, and Corbin had scarred the wrong brother.

The fact that she couldn’t kill Corbin again enraged her and she had to push that familiar feeling

back. No good would come from what-ifs.

Her brother bopped her on the nose, that smile on his face infectious. God, she loved this

Maddox—the Maddox that smiled, laughed, and looked
happy
. His mate, Ellie, had done that, and

Cailin would always be grateful.

Taking a deep breath, she forced her hands to relax. Instead of beating her annoyingly astute

brother up, she patted the scarred side of his cheek, something she hadn’t done in the past because of

her fear of hurting him. She’d been an idiot, and the lack of touch had only pulled him deeper into

himself, away from his family and those that loved him. Now she tried to make sure he knew that she

loved him, scars and all.

“Thank you, big brother, but I will not cower.” She refused to. There would be no hiding from

the wolf that haunted her dreams…and now her days. She might not want to deal with it, but she

wouldn’t run away with her tail tucked between her legs. That wasn’t who she’d been her entire life,

and she wouldn’t resort to becoming that person now.

Maddox raised a dark blond brow. “If you won’t let me beat Logan up, or at least maim him a

bit, then you’ll have to do something about him.”

Cailin rolled her eyes. “Stay out of it, Mad.”

Maddox traced a line down her cheek, and she sighed. Her wolf brushed along the inside of her

skin, settling under her brother’s touch. “I don’t know that I can, Cai. Your wolf isn’t happy, I can feel

it. The woman isn’t that happy either.”

Her wolf rumbled, agreeing with the man. No, she wasn’t happy. She wouldn’t be without a

certain dark wolf.

Damn them both.

Her brother was the Omega of the Redwood Pack, meaning he could feel the emotions of every

Pack member other than his twin, North. He had once been unable to feel his mate, Ellie, before

they’d bonded, but now their mating bond was stronger than most. His role was to ensure the

emotional needs of the Pack were met and they were healthy from the inside out. It also meant he took

in each pain, hurt, and overabundance of happiness right into his soul. Cailin just thanked the moon

goddess he had Ellie now to share that burden.

His role as Omega, though, didn’t mean Cailin liked having her brother intrude on her feelings. It

wasn’t that he was reaching inside her through that fragile bond that connected him with the Pack on

the emotional level. No, when she was this angst-filled, she was apparently blasting her emotions

clear and far. She was usually much better at hiding everything having to do with that and erecting a

shield from his nosy wolf.

“I’m fine. Butt out, Maddox.”

Maddox growled a bit but put his hands up. “Deal with it, Cailin. You’re on edge, and this isn’t

the time to have your wolf weak because she’s not getting what she needs. We’re Pack animals, Cai.

We need touch. We need that connection.”

She ignored the last part of his statement, concentrating on the part that dug deep. Cailin lifted

her chin. “I’m not weak. Despite the fact that I don’t have a penis, which you Jamenson boys think one

must have in order to be strong, I can and
will
fight for my Pack.”

Maddox lifted a lip, his eyes glowing a soft gold. “First, don’t say penis. You’re my baby sister.

You’re innocent and pure.”

Cailin snorted. Her brothers kept saying that. If they only knew…

No, she didn’t want to give them all heart attacks. Or go attack her ex, Noah…or hurt Logan for

playing some key parts in her dirtiest fantasies.

And it was time to get her mind off that particular track.

“Second, what the hell do you mean about women being weak? Have you seen our mates? Do

you really think any of the six of us consider our mates weak? If that’s what you believe, you aren’t

looking close enough, and it’s fucking insulting. Get your head out of your ass, Cailin, and fix this.

Find a way to deal with Logan. Either mate with him or let him down. Running away and hiding

behind your need to find another way to live isn’t helping anyone. We’re at war. And even if we

weren’t, you deserve to be happy.”

Chastened, she took a step back, her heels digging into the ground underneath her. “I’m sorry. I

didn’t mean that the way it came out.” Oh, she did, but only when it came to the way they thought of

her, but that was another matter. “I’m going to go get some air.” Maddox raised a brow, and she

shook her head. “I know we’re outside, but I need different air. Jamenson-free air.”

Maddox pulled her into a hug then kissed the top of her head. “I love you, little sister. I’m sorry

for pushing, but you’re so bottled up I’m scared for you. Something’s coming, something darker than

we’ve ever faced before, and I want to make sure you’re as ready as you can be for it.”

She had the same oppressive feeling as Maddox and the rest of her family. There wasn’t any way

to tell what the darkness was or what danger it might bring, but she knew it was coming.

They all did.

Cailin cupped Maddox’s face and leaned forward. He was a full half foot taller than her, but in

heels she could rest her forehead on his scarred cheek. “I love you, Maddox. I’m sorry. You won’t

have to worry about me. I promise. I won’t let you down.”

Maddox squeezed her. “You could never let me down.”

She pulled away with a small smile at his lie, then turned toward the line of trees, needing

space. Maddox might have said she could never let him down, but she knew that wasn’t true. She’d

been letting everyone down around her for years. Her brothers were all around seventy years older

than she was and had practically helped raised her along with their parents. Kade, Jasper, Adam,

Reed, North, and Maddox didn’t know how
not
to be overbearing and protective.

It was just their way.

They, however, all had roles within the Pack, whether it be powers blessed from the moon

goddess herself or roles they’d created for themselves so they were worth something.

Cailin had always been a step behind.

She hated it.

What worried her more than all of that, though, was the fact that her brothers didn’t trust her to