Fighting For You (5 page)

“And, for your information, the answer is no. I don’t fuck any random chick that walks into my bar.  Want to know why?” It was clearly a rhetorical question, since he gave me no chance to respond.

“This is why - I am foolishly in love with this crazy woman who won’t stop running from me!  I couldn’t forget her even if I tried and she’s the only one I want to be with.  But she is too damn stubborn to let that shit happen.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been at such a loss for words.  By some cosmic miracle—Corey still loved me. And I was still hurting him.  I needed to do everything possible to rectify the situation, before it was too late.  Sadly, I could hardly form a thought, let alone a sentence.  My mouth hung open like a dead fish as I stared at the man I loved.

“Get your ass home. It’s cold as hell.  You’re going to get sick if you keep driving around like a maniac.” Corey’s tone softened ever so slightly, letting me hear the voice of the man I left behind.

“Okay,” I whispered.

Corey sighed and the smell of mint brushed against my face.  My eyes closed for a moment to commit the aroma to memory. Lord, I was so pathetic.  I opened my eyes in time to see him pull his beanie off his head.

“Wear a hat from now on.  You don’t want to catch cold,” he said, as he adjusted the hat over my head.  He pulled it down enough to cover my ears. 

We were inches apart and I wanted nothing more than to lean my lips into his the way I used to so carelessly only months before.  But I didn’t.  Instead, Corey backed away and took with him the warmth I craved from only him.

“Thank you,” I answered, my eyes locked on his, willing him to see into the inner workings of my mind.  To hear everything I couldn’t say at this moment.

Corey moved away, then stopped and looked down at me.

“I’m glad you’re back.” With that he shut the door and returned inside the bar, leaving me a ticking time bomb, ready to break down at the slightest movement. 

I put the car into gear and drove off before I could think twice.  Gabby’s eyes were fixed on the side of my face the whole ride back, ready to spring into best friend mode the second it was needed.  Thankfully, we made it all the way home in silence, all the while my mind was trained on the hat resting on my head.  I wanted to escape to my room, sob and clutch the hat to my chest. 

I wished Gabby a hurried goodbye the second we walked through the door.  Unfortunately for me, she didn’t quite understand that I wanted to get away because she took hold of my arm.  I looked into that pitied look in her eyes and felt the stinging tears behind them threatening to unleash.

“I know you love him. Dani, that man is so in love with you! Now it’s time to let him love you back.  It’s time to let him be the one.”  I nodded my head furiously as a few stray tears slid down.

“Thank you for screwing up the plan tonight,” I said, sincerely.  In a twisted way, I was glad that I was forced to see Corey.  I needed it just as much as I dreaded it.  But Gabby was right—it was time to let go of doubts and fears and win him back.

Gabby gave a careless shrug. “It’s what I do best.” I laughed.

“Night, Gabby.”

“Night, Dani.”

I finally escaped to my room and slid under the covers, holding close to my chest Corey’s hat, which was so much more than just a piece of clothing.  This was the sign to me that he was still mine…and I was still his.

The incessant buzzing of my cell phone woke me with a start the following morning.  I batted my arm out to the side, inevitably smacking the phone on my side table.  After a few more moments of fumbling around I put the phone to my ear.

“’Ello,” my tired voice answered.

“Danielle Hamilton! Did you move back and not tell me?” I kicked myself for not paying attention to my caller ID.

“Gram, I told you I was coming home.”

“But you did not tell me you were returning home yesterday!”

“I know and I’m sorry about that but it’s really not that big of a deal.  We made it safely and Gramps knew about the journey.”

“Don’t even remind me!  Your Grandfather still has to deal with me later, but for now I’m on my way.”

That got my attention. “Wait—you’re what?!”

“On my way, Danielle.  Please pay attention when I am talking to you.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled before she hung up the phone. 

The second I hung up the phone I drug myself from the bed.  My feet hit the floor and I bolted towards the guest bedroom where Gabby was probably still sleeping off the inevitable hangover.  I tried to reign in my manic reaction but, unfortunately for her, it was without success. 

“Gabriella! Get up right now!”  Her response was to merely groan and shove a pillow over her head.

No way was I giving up this easily.  “No! Gabby, this is serious!”

Once more a deep moan came out half-heartedly along with a grunt that sounded like, “Eh…tequila.”  This time I ripped the blanket from her, making her immediately recoil. 

“Danielle!  If you think I’m getting up right now—you are seriously delusional!”

“You need to get up and get in the shower.  My Gram is on her way and right now you smell like a bar.”

She shot up, a little too fast from the looks of things, and she shot me her best angry glare. “I wouldn’t smell that way if you weren’t goddamn nuts!”

We had basically no time to talk about anything and, as much as I wanted to argue that, it would have to wait until later.  “You’re right. Now come on!” 

Slowly but surely she got out of bed and reached into her bag, pulled out a pair of yoga pants and a tank top.  Just as slowly, she padded off towards the bathroom. I, meanwhile, was hopping around like a maniac behind her.  When we finally made it into the bathroom, I hurried to turn on the water and grab a spare towel.  In the meantime, Gabby plopped herself onto the edge of the tub, her head supported by her hand.  I couldn’t help but wonder if she was still sleeping.

“Dani, chill the fuck out! You’re making me dizzy.”

“So sorry, but my Gram is just—harsh.  Be thankful you’re going to be showering.”

“I’d be more thankful if I was sleeping,” she mumbled.

I chose to ignore it and just as I was about to leave the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror.  That’s when it hit me—my bump.  It looked very small, quite insignificant at the moment, honestly. But I had a sick feeling she would notice.  I pulled my shirt up over my stomach and let my hands mold over the little bean that had become a permanent staple in my heart. 

“Gabby—do I look,” I paused to find the words, “more pregnant?”

A mixture between a snort and a laugh escaped her as she looked at me. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Well, it’s just - do I look bigger to you?”

She squinted her eyes at me, more so because of the bright lighting. “No, you don’t look bigger.”

“Thank God.” I said, breathing out a side of relief.

“Now, you do realize you need to leave if you want me to shower.”

“Oh yeah, sorry!”  I quickly hurried from the bathroom and into my bedroom.  I slid on a pair of jeans and a baggy hoodie that would hopefully hide my bump from the scrutinizing eyes of my Grandma.  The moment my sweatshirt was tugged into place, the doorbell rang.  My breath caught in my throat, and my nerves spiked. What the hell was my problem? It was just my Grandma!  Since when was that so terrifying!?

Since ever—that’s when!

With one final glance in the mirror, I prayed my bump remained unseen and I took off towards the front door.  Unfortunately, I didn’t make it before the bell buzzed again.  I swung it open and there she stood, completely decked out in winter attire with hands on her hips.  Violet hadn’t changed much in the past three months and she still had the judgmental look in her eyes, telling me immediately that I was in deep shit. 

“Well, are you going to invite me in, Danielle?  It is freezing out here.”

“Yes, of course. Come on in.  Sorry, I was just finishing getting dressed.” I stepped aside so she could come in.  I shut the door behind her; Violet in the room made things cold enough without adding a chilly draft to the air. 

I watched as she slipped off her gloves, hat and scarf with ease.  “Would you like some hot tea or coffee?”

She gave me a look that said she was impressed I asked.  The natural fighter in me wanted to argue and ask why it was always such a surprise that I knew how to be cordial.  My energy wasn’t up to par and the last thing I wanted to do was bring on unwanted attention from her, so I simply smiled.

“No, thank you. I’m not staying long.”

“Alright. Well, let’s sit.” I motioned to the living room furniture but didn’t move.  Something in the way her eyes held me had my feet planted in place.

Her hands rested on her hips as she took in my appearance. The outside was hardly changed. The inside, on the other hand, would never be the same.  That didn’t stop me from nearly breaking into a sweat as her eyes passed my stomach.  I couldn’t help but wonder if I was even breathing anymore.

“It took you that long to let me in and that was what you were putting on?” I looked down at my typical jeans and sweatshirt get-up and I shrugged.

“I just woke up,” I answered. 

When I opened my mouth to once again usher us into the next topic of conversation, her hand flew out to silence me.  “Is the shower running?” Her accusing tone was surely meant to show her ‘undercover’ work, as if I was hiding something I was ashamed to tell her about.

“Yes, it is.  My friend and roommate Gabriella Martinez from New York drove with me.”

Her arms crossed over her chest. I was half surprised she didn’t start tapping her foot in disapproval as well.

“She couldn’t wait until after I left to shower so we could be properly introduced?”

“Actually, she was just getting in the shower when you called.” She flicked her wrist to get a better look at her watch.

“And it doesn’t bother you that she has been in for so long and is probably using all your hot water?”

My arms crossed over my bump as I gave my best, sincere glare. “No, it doesn’t.  She’s my best friend and I would do anything for her.”

Gram gave a dismissive roll of her eyes before finally taking a seat. “I was just stopping by to talk.”

“Okay.” I thought about playing dumb and leading into this slowly.  Even I, the woman who ran from everything, couldn’t do that.  “Listen, I know you are mad.”

Again her hand went up to stop me from talking.

“Oh no, Danielle. I am not mad.  I was mad when you left with no warning, swamping my very dedicated Bailey with so much that she nearly quit.  I was mad when you chose that moment to stand up to your mother, leaving me the only one to deal with her issues.  Then I was very mad when you gave me the most ridiculous goddamn excuse for why you left and then expected me to believe it.  Now, my dear, I am far beyond mad.  I am borderline pissed off and here is your chance to change that - I want an honest to God reason as to why you left.”

I opened my mouth, ready to spew out whatever elaborate lie first touched my tongue.  But I stopped.  I couldn’t keep doing this, lying to others and to myself.  For the past three months, it has been eating away at me, day and night.  I was never free from the memories I ran from and I didn’t know how much longer I could deny the obvious.  So, with a deep breath, I revealed the undeniable truth. 

“I had fallen head over heels in love with Corey.  I wanted him and needed him so badly I couldn’t breathe without him.” My eyes remained downcast on my intertwined fingers, letting them strengthen me through the rest of this moment.  “Throughout my life I have experienced absolutely terrible relationships, each leaving me battered and broken, starting with …” my voice caught. 

I swallowed back the need to cry. This wasn’t the time.  I cleared my throat and continued.

“Starting with Dad.  I became used to being treated poorly in all relationships. So, when I found someone who was the complete opposite, I ran.  Yes, I truly was returning to help the magazine, but more than anything it was my excuse.  Corey was my best friend and I reacted in the worst way possible. I let go of whatever chance there was for a relationship but worse - I lost the absolute best friend I’ve ever had.”

My eyes squeezed out a couple tears as I finished my story, resisting any eye contact as the truth from my heart hung heavily in the air between us.  Because there it was—everything I kept hidden from everyone, myself included.  That was also the first time I have ever been so honest with my Grandmother, especially with anything quite so personal.

An undistinguishable sigh escaped Gram and, finally, I met her hardened stare.  Apparently over the years she perfected the look that gave away absolutely nothing.  Despite my need to know, preferably immediately, what she thought, I waited.

“Danielle, you truly made the situation a mess.” I nodded, unable to disagree.

“But Sweetheart, I know for an absolute fact that you didn’t lose him.” My partial attention became completely focused.

“Wh
… what?” I asked, stuttering out the word in disbelief.

“I told you before that you two were clearly meant to be.  I am sure my talk of marriage during our dinner terrified you but, I meant what I said.” My mouth remained gaped open like a fool.  I didn’t dare move or even make a sound at the risk of breaking this surreal moment.

“Dolly, that boy has missed you so much.  He has taken care of your home, came by the Inn to help.  He would even call me regularly to make sure I was okay, but I never missed the subtle questions about you.  Danielle, you broke his heart, but you most certainly did not lose it.”

My heart was breaking at her words and my stomach churned.  Nausea was starting to settle in and I wondered if my little love was feeling as sick at what Gram said as I did. 

“You just have to work like hell to get him back.  Now that you have come home, you can.”

For a moment we stared into each other’s eyes and for the first time—we understood one another.  I gave a firm nod of my head, as did she.  A small, lighthearted smile touched my lips and then together we stood.  I saw the shared moment between us fade and stern Violet was back.  Her hands brushed imaginary dust off her pants as I felt the bizarre need to do the same.

“Well, I am still disappointed in your choices to abandon the Inn with no notice.  However, starting this Monday you can return and make it up to us.”

I nodded. “I can handle that.” I heard footsteps down the hall.  For a few minutes I had completely forgotten about Gabby.  I looked over my shoulder to see my dear friend approaching, her classic bright smile covering her face.

Her hair was still wet and curled down her back, paired with the yoga pants and tank top she chose before her shower.  Relief washed over me as I realized she no longer looked—or smelled—hung-over.  Gabby waved from afar but as she approached she held out her hand.

“Hello!  I’m Gabriella. You must be Violet.” Gram took Gabby’s hand with a firm shake, her classic judgmental gaze in place.

“Hello, Gabriella. Nice to meet you.”

“You, too.” Gabby’s smile brightened. “So sorry that I’ve been in the shower.”

“It is fine. I was just having a little discussion with my granddaughter.”

“That’s very nice,” she replied.

“Funny, though, usually when I wear yoga pants, it is after a yoga class.  Not to lie about the house after a night of drinking.” Both our faces instantly flushed as we turned to each other.  Gabby waited for some indication of what to say while I, unfortunately, looked to her, hoping for some fantastic response to save face.

All that came out though was, “Oh
… uh …”

Thankfully Gram waved her hand dismissively to silence us both.

“None of my business—I’m headed out anyway.  Pleasure meeting you, Gabriella and Dolly, if you have any issues, let me know.”

“Absolutely.  I’ll give you a call from work on Monday,” I promised.

“Very good.” With that she put back on her winter gear and headed towards the door.  “Now don’t screw this up, Danielle.”

“The Inn will be in good hands,” I promised.

She gave a quick shake of her head. “I’m not talking about the Inn.” 

With that she headed directly into the cold.  We watched and gave a final wave before turning to each other.  Gabby was the first to speak up.

“Well, she was … great.” Her sarcastic tone wasn’t missed by me, as I tried to suppress a laugh.