Fighting Hard (10 page)

“Yes, Adam. Yes, it is. All of it.”

**

Mia opened her eyes and blinked hard. Everything was white and steel and glass. She heard beeping and smelled some kind of chemicals or bleach.

“Mia?”

She turned her head towards the man’s voice.

“Mia, can you hear me?”

She nodded slowly, grimacing at the pain.

The man who stood over her had dark hair and glasses and looked familiar. She struggled to recall how she knew him.

“I’m Doctor Inglis, Mia. I took care of you two months ago. Do you remember?”

“Oh. Oh, yes.”

“OK, good. How are you doing?”

“Hurts. My head, it hurts.”

“You were very lucky, I can promise you. Nothing broken. Lots of bruising and some stitches, but you’re going to be OK.”

“Thank you.”

He smiled at her. “So, there are two very worried men sitting in the waiting room, dying to come and see how you are…”

“Nick? Nick is here?”

“Yes. Nick and Adam.”

Mia was silent.

“Mia? Do you want to see them?”

She was remembering Nick running out of her apartment after making sweet and intense love to her, running straight to The Cave and picking up another woman. Nick who had cared for her and held her, and in the end, it was all just a fuck to him. Nick who had made her feel so safe and secure and special, but who was cheating on her the whole time.

“Mia?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. I don’t want to see Nick.” She took a shuddering breath. “I don’t want to see Nick ever again.”

**

When Nick and Adam saw Dr. Inglis walk in to the waiting room, they leapt to their feet.

“How is she?” Nick asked. “Is she awake?”

“Sit down, OK?” Sam said. “We’ll talk.”

They sat, their faces strained and pale.

“What you need to know is she’s fine, and that’s the most important thing. No real damage, believe it or not. Bad bruising, some lacerations, but nothing broken.”

“Thank God.” Nick brushed his eyes. “Can we see her?”

“Well, ummm. I asked her that and she… she said –”

Nick leaned back. “She said no.”

“I’m afraid so.”

“She doesn’t want to see me.”

“No. She said she doesn’t.” He looked down at his notes. “She asked you to please call Katie to come and be with her.”

Nick was quiet, staring at his wrecked hands, covered in blood.

Some of it is Mia’s.

“I’m sorry, Nick,” Sam said. “Maybe she’ll feel differently about it after a few hours.”

“She doesn’t know what she’s saying, man,” Adam said gently. “She’s in shock…”

“No, she does. She does know.” Nick looked at them in despair. “And she’s right. I fucked it all up… everything. It’s all my fault. I’ll leave her alone.”

Chapter Nine

Two weeks later, Adam sat in a café close to Mia’s apartment, his powerful hands around an untouched cup of coffee. He was staring out the window and waiting.

When he saw her dark hair and black coat, he grimaced.

OK, look. She’s a bitch, that’s clear. But she begged to meet you. Be nice, now.

Katie walked in, shaking the snow off her coat, dreading this. She spotted Adam and nodded.

Good Christ. I love you, Mia, or I wouldn’t be doing this.

Adam stood up to greet her. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Can I get you something?”

“Um. Sure.” She blinked in surprise. “A black coffee, please.”

Adam almost laughed out loud.
Black. Of course. Jesus. Does the woman even
own
a white shirt?

“OK. Be right back.”

She settled in to her chair and watched Adam at the counter. He was every bit as massive as she remembered as he stood there in jeans and a blue t-shirt. It annoyed her that she had noticed how well the blue picked up his eyes. It also annoyed her that every woman in the place was staring at him, taking in those broad shoulders and defined muscles.

No wonder he’s an arrogant prick, with women practically flinging themselves at his feet everywhere he goes.

Adam came back carrying her coffee. In his hand, the cup looked like a piece in a kids’ play set.

“Thanks,” she said.

“Sure.”

They sat and looked at each other for a few seconds.

Adam was surprised to see how drawn Katie’s face was. She looked tired and upset, and she was wearing about half the makeup she had been the first time he’d met her at the gym. It was an improvement, he noticed. Her eyes were softer, somehow, wider and more vulnerable.

“How’s Mia?” he said.

She shook her head. “Not good. I’ve been staying with her for the past two weeks. She – she has nightmares. I have to force her to eat and she barely speaks.”

The thought of Mia in that much pain pierced him. “Has she talked to someone about what happened?”

“Like a therapist? No.” Katie looked down. “I keep begging her to, but she refuses.”

He was shocked when a tear rolled down Katie’s cheek. “Katie? Hey, are you OK?”

“I just – I don’t know what to do any more, Adam. I’m scared for her.” She glanced up at him and he was taken aback at the deep pain and worry in her eyes. “That’s why I called you.”

“What can I do?” he said. “Tell me. I’ll do anything.”

She wiped her eyes. “It kills me to ask you this. It really does…”

“Ask.”

“I think she needs to see Nick.”

Adam sighed. “Nick.”

“Do you think he’d be willing to talk to her? If you told him that she needs him?”

“He would. He’s been a mess about her these past couple of weeks.”

Her anger flared. “I don’t give a shit about how Nick’s doing. After what he did to her, with that other woman? The things he said? I mean, I don’t believe that any of what he said about cheating on her was true, but still… it devastated her. And
she
believes it.”

“Well, here’s the difference between us, Katie. I care very much how your friend is doing, and I’m not about to make excuses for mine, but I love the guy, OK? And he’s hurting and feeling guilty and worried as hell so yeah, I’m scared for my friend, too.”

They glared at each other.

Adam shook his head. “OK, look. This isn’t about us. This is about Mia and what she needs. If you think seeing Nick will help, I’ll tell him.”

“And you think he’ll come?”

“Yeah. He will.” Adam thought about Nick’s face recently, broken and hard and tight. “I know you don’t believe it, but he loves her, Katie. He’ll do whatever he can to make sure she’s OK.”

She nodded as relief washed over her. “Can he come tonight around seven?”

“I’ll make sure of it.”

**

Katie answered Mia’s door and her eyes widened when she saw Nick standing there. In an instant, she knew that Adam was right to be worried about him. In just a few weeks, Nick had shrunk somehow. He looked physically smaller and emotionally defeated, his confidence and control were gone. He looked exhausted and shattered.

“Hi,” he said.

“Come in.”

Nick stepped in to Mia’s apartment and immediately, floods of memories washed over him. Coffee on the sofa with her on Sunday morning and cooking pasta in the kitchen. Making love to her until they both shuddered and cried out, kissing and clutching each other. Holding her while she slept. Just holding her close, feeling her heartbeat.

God, I miss her.

“Is she here?”

“Yeah. I practically shoved her in to the shower a few minutes ago. I wanted to talk to you alone.”

“OK,” he said.

“She’s a wreck, Nick. I need to know that you aren’t going to say or do anything to make her worse.”

“I won’t.” He swallowed. “I won’t hurt her.”

“But you
did
hurt her. You know that, right?”

“Yeah. I know. I blame myself for what happened every minute of every day.”

Katie looked at him. “Oh, Nick. I thought I’d be thrilled to hear that, but I’m not, surprisingly.”

“I know you’re furious at me. Thank you for asking me to come. Why did you?”

“Why?” Katie shook her head. “Because I love Mia. She’s been there for me in ways that I can’t even begin to tell you… she has pulled me through shit and hurt and trauma that I can’t talk about. So, now I’m helping her. At least, I hope I am.”

“You’re not sure?”

“No. I’m not.” She sighed. “The thing is, Nick, I think you made a mistake. God knows, I’ve made mistakes in my life and most of them can’t be undone. I guess I’m hoping that this mistake you made is one that
can
be undone. I’m hoping you can fix this.”

“Nick?”

He turned. Mia was standing there in pyjamas and bare feet. She looked small and broken and – worst of all – that amazing light had gone out of her.

His gut twisted.
A good part of that is my fault. I should have been there when she needed me… I could have stopped it from happening.

“What are you doing here?”

“I asked him to come,” Katie said.

“Why? Why would you do that?”

“Sweetie, I have done all that I can to help you… I think what you really need, you can only get from Nick. I think you guys need to talk. OK?”

Mia studied him, took in the shadows around his eyes and his haggard face.

“Mia, if you really can’t or don’t want to, you don’t have to,” he said. “I’ll go.”

“No. I think you and I do have a few things to sort out. It’s OK.” She smiled at Katie but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll call you later.”

Katie put on her coat and boots, gathered up her stuff, hoping to God that she had guessed right. Katie was still furious at Nick – she’d cheerfully kick his ass – and in Katie’s personal experience, men were useless assholes. She, Reena and Maggie had been with Mia through everything: Tom’s arrest and the cops saving all those kids and the investigation.

But despite their best efforts, Katie knew that Mia needed something that only Nick could give her, and that made him important. Essential, even. Mia needed him there with her, needed to be held in his arms. And now here he was, his arms wide open.

It amazed her to think this, but really, she hoped the two of them could work it out. She hoped that Mia would accept what he was offering. She hoped Nick would help Mia heal.

She shut the door behind her and they were alone. They looked at each other, taking in all the obvious signs of damage and distress and sleeplessness.

“Sit down.” Mia sat on the sofa and gestured at the chair across from her.

Nick sat, struggling to find the right words to say.

“How have you been, Mia?”

“OK. It’s been… rough.”

“Your head?”

“Fine. No permanent damage.”

“I – I’m sorry. I should have been there when that guy grabbed you… I should have stopped him.”

“Well. You were busy.”

He looked at her and saw the pinprick of anger in her beautiful eyes.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… that woman was a huge mistake.”

She regarded him, silent.

“The truth is, I wasn’t with any other women when I was with you.”

“No?”

“No. I lied.”

“Why?”

“God, Mia.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I freaked out. That’s all I’ve got… I just freaked out.”

“About what?”

“About the fact that I love you.”

She stared at him, her eyes huge. “You what?”

“I love you. I realized it that last time we were together and I – I just ran.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered.

“I don’t know now. At the time, running just seemed like the logical thing. I mean, it made sense for me to dive straight back in to how I had behaved for a decade… one-night-stands and meaningless flings. It was easier, somehow, than telling you the truth. But now… now I don’t understand what the hell was going through my head.”

“So – so you never cheated on me?”

“Never. That woman that I kissed was the first. I promise you.”

“I wish that you had just stayed and talked to me, Nick.”

“Me too. I wish that every day. I wish… well, I wish a lot of things.” He met her golden eyes. “I miss you, Mia. So much.”

Silence.

“So, I just came to see you and tell you I’m sorry and to say that I love you. And I hope that you’ll be OK soon. If you need me, I’ll do anything you ask.”

“I won’t be.”

“You won’t be what?”

“I won’t be OK soon.”

“What do you mean?”

She was quiet for a minute.

“I’m not stupid. I know that the world is a hard place. I know all about how it tries to break things and people – I saw that in Asia and I saw it with my parents and I saw it with what happened to Katie.” She almost seemed to be talking to herself and Nick held his breath. “I get it, I really do. I may be an optimist and a believer, but I’ve never forgotten that life is unfair and cruel and heartbreaking sometimes. That bad things happen for no reason at all, that people can be monsters.”

She looked at him. “But something about this one, Nick… something about knowing that Tom was going to work every day and staring in to the faces of kids who had been abused and raped and exploited and then he was turning around and working to protect the very people who did these things. He took money. He lied to the police. He… he…”

She fell silent again.

“I just don’t know what to do with that knowledge, I don’t know how to move past it. I think it’s killing me.”

“What can I do, Mia?”

“I don’t know. All I know is I need your help. I need you here right now.”

That’s when he saw her tears. “Mia, don’t cry. Please, babe.”

He went to her then and did the only thing that he could think of to do: he opened his arms and he felt nothing but relief when she moved in to them. Her body fit against his perfectly; she was made to be right where she was. He closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Mia. I’m so sorry.”

She nodded, feeling like she was suddenly in the safest place in the world. “I know you are. I believe you.”

They sat quietly, just settling back in to each other’s bodies. In most ways, it seemed that they had never been apart: every breath and curve and groove was so familiar.

She pulled back. “Can you come back to me tomorrow?”

Nick stared at her, his heart pounding. “Are you saying that you… you’ll take me back? Give me another chance?”

“I’m saying that I’m inviting you for coffee tomorrow morning. I’m saying we’ll talk. I’m saying we’ll see.”

“We go back to the beginning? Start again?”

Mia smiled. It was merely a ghost of her old smile, the one that had always stunned and touched him with its beauty and sweetness, but it was a start.

“Yes,” she said. “Back to the start.”

“OK,” Nick said. “OK. I can do that.”