Fighting Perfection (The Perfection Series Book 2) (20 page)

     “Well, to be honest with you, Mimi, I’m not very surprised.  From everything you’ve ever told me, and on the few occasions I’ve come to visit and seen him around you, it’s been obvious his feelings for you ran a little bit deeper than friendship.”

     “Really?  That shocks me because for me this came out of left field.”

     “That’s because all this time, whether you’ve realized it or not, he was still Vance’s friend to you,” she remarked.  “Yes, I know he’s been your best friend on this coast, but in the back of your mind you still share him with Vance.”

     “That’s probably true.”  I said, thinking about it.

     “So, I have to ask you, how much of your feelings toward him in this way are tied to your shared connection to Vance?”

     “I don’t know.  I’ve only considered that peripherally.  I haven’t given it any real thought.  I’ve been so busy trying not to think about things too much like I normally do.”

     “To be fair, you need to at some point.  If things start to get more serious between the two of you, you really have to look into that.  You don’t want to make that kind of mistake with your best friend,” she said with her usual insight.

     “Well, it may not matter too much now anyway.” I responded.

     She leaned back in her chair and fixed me with a look.  “What does that mean?” she asked.

     “We don’t have time for me to tell you about it now.  The show’s about to begin.  I promise we can go to breakfast tomorrow, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

     “Okay, as long as you do before hunky fighter pilot shows up,” she said, pointing the celery stalk from her drink at me.

     “You have my word,” I replied just as the lights began to dim and man’s voice shouted over the loud speaker.

     “ARE YOU LADIES READY TO HAVE A GOOD TIME?????”

     The crowd of women went wild.  Just then, Laurel slapped down a wad of bills in front of me.  “Welcome to the first part of your birthday celebration!” she yelled over the music that had begun to play. 

      “What’s this?” I hollered back.

     “It’s one hundred dollars in ones and fives.  It’s the first part of your present so you can tip the guys.”

     I just shook my head at her in amusement.  I took the money because not knowing where we were going, I hadn’t brought sufficient cash in small bills to do any tipping.  I vowed to slip a hundy in her wallet before she left on Sunday.

     The time passed in a blur.  What I thought had been a fee that Laurel paid for VIP seating at the door turned out to be for our personal participation in the show.  During a particular point in the performance, both she and I were pulled up on stage and seated in chairs.  Six dancers surrounded us gyrating wildly and taking turns giving us lap dances.  I was a little overwhelmed by the experience and mainly sat stiff in my seat, while Laurel was totally into the groove, her greedy hands exploring every body that came within reaching distance. 

     After it was all over, we filed out of the club along with everyone else.  Laurel had consumed her fair share of alcohol while I’d only had two drinks since I had driven.  “In hindsight, we should have taken a cab for this,” she slurred a little bit.  “That way you could have gotten a bit looser and enjoyed your time a little more.”

     “I enjoyed myself just fine, Laurel.  In fact, I had a terrific time.”

     “You sat there as wooden as Pinocchio when we were up on stage!” she exclaimed a bit too loudly, her hearing affected by not only the alcohol but because the music had been so loud.  A couple of ladies in front of us turned around and nodded while smiling at me. 

     I politely smiled back, then whispered to Laurel, “Hush.  You are talking way too loud.  I can’t help it if it I was taken aback by the whole situation.  It’s not like you prepared me in advance.”

     “But that wouldn’t have been any fun!”

     “For you,” I remarked dryly.

     She giggled.  “Of course not.  Seeing you sitting there nearly ready to pee your pants was worth every dollar.”

     “Sometimes you really suck.  You know that, don’t you?”

     “Sure I do.  Just ask Pete,” she said and cackled in her typical Laurel style.  “Alright, now what should we do?  It’s only eleven.  Far too early to go home.”

     “We should have stayed for the dance club portion of the evening.”

     She grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks.  “Oooh, let’s go back.  Some of the dancers may still be hanging around.”

      “We might have to pay the cover-fee again.” I warned her.

     “Oh who cares if it means I have a chance to dance with that sexy fireman.  Somebody needed to turn the water on him because he was ‘smokin’.” she said, muttering the last part to herself.

     We made a U-turn, Laurel tottering unsteadily in her heels.  I wondered how she planned on dancing without falling if she was that tipsy. 

     We spent the next few hours dancing with random men who had come in after the show.  Each one didn’t stick around much but for a song or two realizing we weren’t girls who would be going home with them.  One of them even explained to me that the men come after the show because they believe the women are so worked up that one-night stands are almost a sure thing.  I quickly disabused him of that notion when it came to me.

     I continued with my soda water and lemon, while Laurel dramatically slowed down her consumption.  I was sure the leather interior of my car would be grateful if it knew.  All in all, we had a great time before, during, and after the show.   Laurel decided that a late night greasy breakfast was in order, so we found the nearest twenty-four hour diner and ordered omelets, hash browns, sausages, and sourdough toast smeared heavily with butter.

     “So, sister,” Laurel began just after we received our food.  “You promised me to tell me about something that’s going on with you and Justin.”

     I chewed the mouthful of eggs I had, while thinking.  “It’s not so much a situation between him and me as it might be with him and someone else.”

     “You think he’s seeing someone else?” she asked.

     “I’m sure of it.  She’s a friend of mine and has been telling me about it.  He even cancelled pizza and beer night the other night to spend it with her.”

     “Oh my God, he said that?” she cried. 

     “No, no, of course not.  This girl, her name is Delia.  I only recently met her when classes started, but we ran into her one day when we were out having lunch which is how she met Justin.  I left the lunch before they did, because I had started to feel uncomfortable with the way they were acting with each other.  She made sure to tell me the next day that they’d spent the previous evening together, and warned me not to be surprised if he cancelled our usual Wednesday night date which he ultimately did.”

     “Huh,” she remarked.  “Well Mimi, I don’t know.  I know his feelings for you are genuine, but he also had a reputation for being a player type before.  So, maybe while you are making up your mind, he is just going about his usual M.O.”

     “I suppose that could be the case,” I replied, “but don’t you think it’s a bit insensitive, or at least inconsiderate to act that way in front of me?  And with one of my friends?”

     “Yeah that’s kind of sucky,” she said before taking a bite of her toast.  “Perhaps he’s trying to see if you’ll get jealous,” she suggested.

     “I hadn’t considered that as a possibility.”

     “Maybe you should.  After all, the guy has made it clear he wants to get serious with you and you’ve kind of put him on the back burner.  He knows about James, I presume?”

     “Yes, he does.  He’s known since almost the beginning.”

     “Well, okay.  You’ve put him at arm’s distance, and he knows you’re seeing another guy to boot.  Maybe he is just trying to get a sense of your feelings for him.  What have you told him besides not being ready to get serious?”

     “He knows I love him dearly.  I also told him that I was afraid our friendship would be negatively affected if things don’t work out.  He also knows I don’t want to be put in a situation where I feel like I have to choose between him and James.  I’ve been stewing over how fair it all is to either of them.  I’ve been trying to take it day by day and not overthink things, but my own innate sense of justice keeps me from ignoring it all together.  I just can’t be that selfish, especially not to Justin.  He hasn’t pressured me at all.  In fact, it’s been a couple months since he made his declaration, and we really haven’t talked about it since.”

     “I hate to say this Mimi, but you are being incredibly selfish.  You need to get your head on straight.  If it were any person other than Justin, I’d say you’ve been handling it correctly and not to feel guilty in any way.  But we are talking about Justin.  You owe him more than you would a guy you just met and started dating.  He’s not some random, he’s more.  You know that no matter what, his heart is involved.  It has to be.  You aren’t just some girl to him, either.  What you have goes deeper than that.  If you ask me, you shouldn’t carry on with him other than friendship if you can’t be certain that you want more.”

     I put my fork down and leaned back in my seat.  What I had been fearing in the back of my head and why I was so uncomfortable with the situation, Laurel had just given voice to.  I had to hand it to this girl, she always gave it to me straight and had keen insight to any problem I was having.  The last thing I wanted to do was string Justin along, and that was precisely what I was doing by engaging only partially with him on a more intimate level.  He deserved better, he deserved more.  If he were dating some other girl and he told me she was behaving the way I had been, I’d have told him to cut her loose. 

     The question then became how was I to put a halt to anything without it affecting our friendship?  Would I lose him?  I know if the situation were reversed and I felt rejected, I wouldn’t want to spend as much time with him.  Not for a while, anyway.  I supposed that not only would I have to accept it, I deserved it for allowing his hope to grow while I remained non-committal and indecisive.  After all, I’d only dug my own hole.

     “Thank you for putting it in such black and white terms, Laurel.  I’ve had a hard time sorting it out in my mind because I do have feelings for him and didn’t want to lose him entirely if I rejected him at all.  That said, I am interested in exploring more, I just am not ready for it.  I don’t know how to tell him that though.”

     “Say it just like that.  Don’t mince words, but be sensitive.  Tell him that you care and the only reason you don’t want to go further is because you wouldn’t be able to stand it if you hurt him.”

     I wanted to reach across the table and hug her.  As always, she had brought everything into focus so clearly.  I didn’t know what I’d ever do without her.  She’d straightened my ass out on more than one occasion.  I was sure this wouldn’t be the last time either.

     We finished our food and walked out with overly full bellies.  It was a short trip home from the restaurant and by the time we reached my house, we were both sluggish and sleepy.  We hugged goodnight in the hallway. I thanked her again for her uncanny wisdom, and we both stumbled off to our rooms. 

     I barely made it into my pajamas and into the bed before falling asleep.  As I drifted off, I felt lighter than I had in months.  I was still worried about how my friendship with Justin would fare once I said what I had to say, but at least I was back on track.  The best I could give him was my honesty.  Frankly, I was thinking he deserved better than I could ever be after the way I’d been treating him.  Before I could spiral down that line of thinking into self-loathing, I snuggled up to my pillow and allowed sleep to overtake me.

     I climbed out of bed somewhere around ten the following morning.  Since I hadn’t had much to drink the night before, I felt well rested.  After the requisite amount of coffee, I was ready to face the day.  It took Laurel a little bit longer to drag herself from the clutches of the Sandman, but she was up shortly after me.  She sleepily wished me a Happy Birthday before making a beeline to the coffee machine.  While she was getting her caffeine fix, I sent James a text message apologizing for not contacting him the day before and suggesting he drive down whenever he was available.  I almost immediately received a message back informing me he would leave within the hour, putting him at my place around three o’clock in the afternoon.

      While Laurel had her head in her coffee mug, I explained that James would be arriving in a few hours.  She immediately perked up.

     “Tell me more about this guy.  You didn’t say very much last night,” she said, eager for information.

     Still with my mobile phone in hand, I opened my picture gallery and showed her one of the pictures we’d taken in Lake Havasu.

     “That’s James,” I said.  “I didn’t like him much at all when I first met him.”  I explained our chance meeting and my initial impression of him.  “Somewhere in the course of the night, he grew on me with his taunting humor and playfulness.  He is nothing at all like I thought he would be.”

     “Okay, so you thought he was an ass, and now you don’t.  What do you think?” she asked, taking another big slug of her coffee.

     “He is…different.  Cocky down to the bone and super-sure of himself, but underneath all that, he is sweet and thoughtful.  When we go out, he puts time and energy into planning things that will be new and unusual for me.  He’s adventurous and thinks I have been too sheltered.  He’s determined to correct that.”

     I blushed a little bit as I went on.  “He’s also fantastic in bed.  I feel consumed when we’re together that way, but also empowered.  He brings out a side of me I didn’t even know was there.”

     “Like how?”  Leave it to Laurel to make me tell her my innermost thoughts.

     “Well, it’s all very wild and physical.  Carnal, even.  Fast and furious comes to mind, although I don’t mean he’s a minute man,” I said, swallowing hard at just the thought of him.  “He’s just very…um…passionate I guess is the best way to put it.”

     “I can see how you’ve been torn then.  You haven’t had a physical relationship in years, and if it’s good, it can be addictive.  He also sounds like a great guy for your first foray back into the dating world.  More than superficial, but not necessarily serious.”

     “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.  He’s also made it clear he thinks he’s the guy for me.  When I told him about Justin, he was very upset, and I thought I’d never see him again.  A few days later however, he called and insisted we talk.  He drove all the way down here from Central Cali just to talk to me face-to-face for an hour.”

     “You’re shitting me,” she said, dumbfounded.

     “Nope.  He is that serious about us.  He told me he would prove that he is the guy for me.”

     “That definitely ups the stakes, I’d say,” she remarked.

     “You don’t even know.  When I imagined dating again, I don’t know what I was really expecting.  Obviously, I didn’t think I’d find the love of my life since I don’t think anyone will ever compare to Vance.  I had hoped to find someone whom I could spend time with, enjoy their company and if it developed into something more, then that would be okay.  I sure didn’t expect to end up in some kind of love triangle with two guys hell-bent on making me their one and only.  I thought men were supposed to have commitment issues.  Instead, it’s me!”

     Laurel laughed.  “There are women who would envy your problem.  I, of course, am not one of them.  Last night, I urged you to consider Justin’s feelings, but now I also want you to think about your own.  I know you, and you’re not comfortable in such a tug-of-war for your affections.”

     “That’s true, but you’ve made me see that I’ve been trying to have my cake and eat it, too.  That’s not who I am, or at least not who I want to be.  I’ve been worried about jeopardizing my friendship with Justin, but I’ve been doing just that.”

     She nodded in agreement.   “So, what are you going to do about it?”

     “The only thing I can do.  Have a serious conversation with Justin.  Even if I were to cut James loose, I don’t know if I’d feel any different about a serious thing with Justin.  Sure, I wouldn’t feel the same kind of guilt, but being honest with myself, I’d still have the sense that he deserved more, deserved better.  Besides, I worry that my feelings for Justin are also tied to my love for Vance.  He will always be a connection to that part of my past.  I’d have to work that out too before proceeding with anything serious.”

     “It’s good that you realize that.  Like I said last night, Mimi, if it’s meant to be, it will be eventually.  It’s not like Justin is going to stop being your friend altogether just because you’re putting on the brakes.  He will understand.”

     I really hoped she was right. 

    After we’d showered and dressed, we sat down to discuss our plans for the rest of the day. 

    “It’s your day,” Laurel said.  “We can do whatever you want to do.”

    “You know, I have an idea.  I’ve always wanted to go skydiving, but as you know, I’m a bit of a chicken.  I read something online the other day about a simulator over at the Universal City Walk.  Why don’t we try that?  That’s adventurous, right?”

     “For you, yes.” She laughed.  “Will James be game for it?”

     “Oh my God, James is game for anything.  I’m sure he’s already done the real thing more than once so this will be tame to him in comparison.”

     “Then he can tell us whether or not it accurately mimics actual skydiving.  If we like it, we can try it for real.”

     “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, Laurel,” I said, raising both hands like a stop signal.  She just giggled in return.  “I’m going to go online and see if I can make reservations for us all.”

     I went to Vance’s office and looked up the website for iFly.  It turned out they were open until eleven p.m. on Saturdays.  The actual chamber was visible to the outdoors so I thought a sunset session would be amazing.  Luckily, I was able to book us all flights at eight o’clock.  We could spend the evening enjoying the sights and sounds of the City Walk and have dinner there.  I chose the smallest package just in case my nerves got the best of me.  We’d get to take two flights in our session, after having some pre-flight instruction.  I was super excited to try something new and maybe impress James a little bit in the process.

     After informing Laurel of our plans, we decided we’d wait until James arrived to go grab lunch, figuring we’d have a late dinner since neither one of us was keen on flying on a full stomach.  You know, just in case it didn’t agree with us.

     James arrived a little after two p.m.  Stepping out onto the porch I didn’t see his rust-bucket car anywhere around.  However a Toyota Camry was parked out at the curb.  After making introductions between him and Laurel, I asked about Nelly.  He just gave me a sly smile.

     “I left Nelly at home today.  This one is a rental,” he said.

     “Are you having car trouble?” I asked as we walked out to the curb.

     “No.  I just have plans for tomorrow and needed a different vehicle for it.”  He grinned at me.

     “I suppose you’re not going to tell me what your plans are.”

     “Once again, you surprise me with your deductive powers, Kitten.”

     “Don’t call me Kitten,” I chastised.  He just laughed, of course.

     We all piled in his car, and I instructed him on how to get to City Walk.  “I have a surprise of my own,” I informed him.

     “You’re going to be very impressed with her,” Laurel chimed in.  “It’s very out of character for our Mimi, here.”

     “I can’t wait to see what she has up her sleeve then.”

     Once there, we had a late lunch at the Hard Rock Café.  Afterward, we decided to take the studio tour since James had never seen it.  Having spent our youth in Southern California, Laurel and I had been a few times, but there were some attractions we hadn’t seen so we were more than happy to agree.  James was like a kid, into all the sights around him.  As we would move through the lot, he would scan around looking for movie stars.  Living in Los Angeles my whole life, celebrity spottings were not unusual for me so I hadn’t even bothered to notice.  It dawned on me that he, having grown up in such a small town, might find that alone to be interesting.  Of course, he informed us the first time he saw a celebrity, he was going to jump off the tram to take a selfie with him or her.  Fortunately for the tram driver, we didn’t happen upon anyone noteworthy.  James, however, was extremely disappointed. 

     “What kind of movie studio doesn’t have celebrities crawling all over it?” he asked.

     “There are so many other background people, lighting, prop people, assistants, and extras that I’m sure they get lost in the mix.  What did you expect, they’d come running up to the tram to sign autographs?” I asked.

     “Well no, but I thought I’d spot at least one,” he grumbled.

     “You never know,” I continued.  “We might still see one yet.  Don’t be too upset.”

     After our tour was over, we ambled back to the City Walk and did some shopping until just before our flight time.

     As we walked toward iFly, James turned and grinned at me.  “Is this what we’re doing?  Indoor skydiving?”

     I nodded enthusiastically.  “Yes!  We figured that even though you’ve probably done the real thing more than once, you could tell us how it compares to the experience.”

     “I have done a few jumps, but I’ve always wanted to try this, too.  Was this your idea or Laurel’s?”

     “This is all her doing,” Laurel said.  “I would never have thought of this in a million years, even though I’m dying to get in there.”

     Once inside, we checked in, and then met with the instructor, Glen, who provided us with all our gear:  a helmet, goggles, and a flight suit.  We did a pre-flight instruction course where Glen gave us a run down on rules, safety procedures, what to do if we needed to stop our flight prematurely, etc.  After that, we were good to go.

     I was nervous as everyone in our flight group jumped into the tube.  Of course, I opted to go last.  I very nearly backed out but with some gentle persuasion from one of the staff, I closed my eyes, said a quick prayer, and then jumped.

     I didn’t know what I had been worried about.  The experience was amazing.  I had always loved the feeling of being out in the open, like in a convertible or on a motorcycle, with the wind rushing against my face.  It was such a liberating experience.  To be simply flying without any kind of harness this time and with the tube consisting of windows overlooking the City Walk, it was unreal to me.  The evening sky was a breathtaking scene filled with blues, purples, and fiery orange.  I gave myself a mental pat on the back for booking our flight at the time I did. 

     I laughed and squealed as our instructor did a few tricks.  I wasn’t courageous enough to try anything so daring, but James did some flipping around of his own.  He was such show off, but I adored him for it.  He made me feel like I could do anything. 

     I pondered the notion that so many of the things I’d recently done had the underlying theme of flight, including my zip-line tour with Justin.  I wondered if it was some kind of metaphor for me finally spreading my wings after so many years of living a quiet life.  The fact that James was a pilot only made the notion more ironic.

     After our second turn in the tube was over, we all filed out of the place loaded with adrenaline.  We were high-fiving each other and hooting like little kids.  It had been a blast, and like with the trapeze school, I couldn’t wait to do it again.

     We settled on dinner at Samba Brazilian Steak House.  We loaded up on all kinds of Brazilian barbecued meats called churrasco.  The waiters, called gauchos, would bring large skewers to each table and slice it directly onto our plates.  It was absolutely delicious. 

     As an added bonus, samba dancers roamed through the dining room entertaining us with their fast, sexy moves and skimpy, colorful outfits.  Since James was driving, Laurel and I indulged in several traditional Brazilian drinks call Caipirinha.  They reminded me of a mojito, not in flavor but in how they are prepared with lime being mashed with sugar before the alcohol is added.  It was another fantastic experience.  Turning thirty didn’t feel too bad by the time the night was over.

     James drove us back to my house where Laurel promptly stumbled off to bed.  She claimed she was just too intoxicated to stay up any longer and her flight time would come far too early the next day, but I suspected she wanted to give us some alone time. 

     We settled on my living room sofa where I curled up next to James’ side.  We hadn’t been particularly affectionate during our time out, not wanting Laurel to feel like the proverbial third wheel.  As I snuggled against him, I found that I had sorely missed his touch.

     “Did you want to spend the night?” I asked.  “You’re more than welcome to.  It’s late, and I doubt you want to get back on the road.  Besides, I was hoping we’d spend some time together tomorrow, just the two of us.”