Fighting Redemption (5 page)

“Don’t apologise.” He pulled her close, running his tongue over his lips. “Just kiss me again.”

Fin leaned in, touching her mouth to his, enjoying the way he hugged her close like she was something precious. When he left she stood on the porch as he walked down the drive and got in his car. She waved as he drove off and slipped inside, moving hastily towards the stairs.

“Fin!” Jake called out from the couch.

She paused, one foot on the step, and tilted her head to meet her brother’s eyes.

“I don’t want him here with you when no one’s home.”

Fin flushed, embarrassed at being caught fooling around. “You’re not Dad, Jake, so knock it off.”

Ryan walked out of the kitchen holding two beers in his hand. She met his eyes for a brief moment before he looked away and continued into the living room.

“No, I’m not, but have some goddamn self-respect, okay?”

Fin gasped, hurt.

“Christ, Jake.” Frowning, Ryan put the beers down on the coffee table and gave Jake a smack on the back of his head.

“Shit,” Jake muttered. “Fin, I—”

But Fin was already running up towards her room, utterly mortified. Stripping off to a tank top and panties, she crawled into bed and buried her face in the pillow. She could still smell Ian on her skin, and it was oddly comforting.

“Fin?” Jake whispered, opening her door slightly and peeking in.

Fin wasn’t in any mood to talk. She pretended to be sleeping when he crept into the room, fighting to keep her breathing even when he sat down on the edge of her bed.

“I’m sorry.” Jake brushed the hair off her face. “I didn’t mean that how it sounded,” he said softly. “You’re just so smart and beautiful. You’re better than him. You’re better than anyone I’ve ever known. I’m so proud of you.”

Two months later, Fin and Ian were becoming almost inseparable. She’d met his parents, had even stayed over a few times in their guest room. Ian would sneak in during the night. Climbing in next to her, he would pull her close, running his hands over her body and underneath her shirt, cupping her breasts in his palms as they kissed. Eventually they roamed down her back, slipping beneath the elastic of her panties, Ian groaning as he gripped her ass.

Two weeks later on a Saturday night, it was Ian’s parents that were out. He led her to his room at the back of his house. It was neat and clean. Never having seen it that way before except the first time she’d visited, she knew, and her heart thumped with nerves.

Ian grinned, taking her hands and pulling her towards him. His eyes fell on her mouth. “I want you, Fin.”

She bit her lip, pausing for a moment, and said, “I want you too, Ian.”

Fin heard his breath catch. “Are you sure?”

She nodded.

Gripping the neckline of his shirt, Ian tugged it off and her eyes fell on the tanned, muscled chest bared before her.

With a shaky hand, she reached up and placed her palms on his chest. Ian groaned when she skimmed them slowly downwards, shuddering when she reached the waistband of his jeans and tugged gently. Feeling more confident at his response, she smiled up at him from beneath her lashes.

Grabbing her hips, he pulled her towards him and kissed her. His hands lifted the hem of her shirt, and breaking the kiss, he peeled it off. Her long, messy waves tumbled over her naked shoulders and down her back. Trailing his fingers up her ribs, he cupped her breasts in his palms, his thumbs brushing along the lacy edges of her bra.

Ian tugged softly at the strap. “Can I take this off?”

Fin inhaled deeply and nodded.

He reached around, and fumbling, managed to undo the clasp and slide it down her arms. Her bra dropped to the floor, and she flushed, averting her eyes from his gaze.

“You’re blushing, Fin.” He tucked his thumb and forefinger under her chin and tilted her head so she was looking at him. “Don’t be shy. You’re so beautiful.”

“So are you,” she whispered softly.

He ducked his head and found her lips, his tongue delving inside her mouth until she forgot about being embarrassed and about where her hands were supposed to be. Instinct took over and soon they stood naked before each other.

“I’ve never …” Fin trailed off as she ran her eyes down his body. It was the first time she’d seen a guy naked, and remembering the pictures she giggled over with her friends, she realised the real life version wasn’t any less scary.

“Me either,” he whispered.

Ian pulled her close, running his hands lightly down her back until he was holding her ass in his hands. He was so hard she could feel it pressing against her belly.

With shaky hands she reached down and circled him, surprised at the heat and silky smooth skin. He jolted at her touch, and she snatched her hands away, mumbling an apology.

“No, it’s okay,” he said hoarsely. “I just don’t want to … to, you know, too soon.”

Fin giggled and then Ian was chuckling and pulling her towards the bed. Soon she lay beneath him, forcing herself to relax her body as he touched her. His hands found their way between her thighs, and she closed her eyes at the invasion, her body aching and tingling at the touch.

“Ian,” she whispered.

“Does it hurt?”

“No. I … it feels good,” she moaned.

“You feel good,” he replied, his mouth and tongue swirling maddeningly around her nipple, his fingers leaving her wanting more. “All soft and wet and hot. Can I …” he trailed off.

“Yes,” Fin replied, breathless. “Please.”

He sat up and reached for a condom. Fin didn’t know whether to avert her eyes or help. She pushed up on her shoulders. “Should I—”

“No, I got it, baby.”

Then he was pressing her back down, the pillow soft behind her head as he slowly pushed his way inside her body.

She tensed.

“Just relax,” he whispered in her ear.

She nodded and felt him slide all the way inside.

Burying his head in her neck, he shuddered. “You feel so good,” he moaned.

After a moment Ian drew back, bracing his hands on either side of her. His eyes holding hers with an intimacy that was new as he began a gentle thrust.

Fin closed her eyes and whispered, “Don’t stop.”

When she wrapped her legs around him, he paused, drawing a deep shaky breath into his lungs.

Her eyes flew open. “Are you okay?”

Ian nodded. “I just need a minute. I want this to feel good for you too.”

It did feel good, but it was over quickly.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled into her neck and pressed a kiss against her ear. “I’ll make it better next time. Promise.”

Afterwards, she showered for the first time with another person. They laughed as they fought over the soap and ran slippery hands over each other. With hot water pounding over their skin, they learned what made the other giggle or moan.

After flicking off the taps, Ian helped dry her off before leading her back to his bed. He kissed his way down her body, his mouth finding its way between her thighs. Soon she was breathless and falling over the edge with mind numbing pleasure.

Grinning, he crawled up her body and she could feel him hard again and pressing against her belly. “Stay a bit longer,” he whispered, trailing his lips up her neck.

“I can’t. It’s midnight. I have to get back.”

Ian nodded into her neck. “Okay.”

Pulling into the driveway of her house, she pressed a quick kiss against his lips and ducked from his car towards the house. Breathless, Fin waved at her parents before running up the stairs and to her room, unable to wipe the grin from her lips. Her phone buzzed, a message from Ian telling her that he couldn’t wait to see her in the morning. She giggled softly, tossing her phone on the bedside table, and that was when she saw him. Ryan was lying on her bed in the dark.

Fin’s breath caught in shock.

“Ryan?”

Her eyes adjusted to the dark. His hands were tucked behind his head, eyes trained on the ceiling, surrounded by masses of pink and white lace sheets. They’d been so pretty, she couldn’t resist buying them when she went shopping with Rachael just over a month ago. Now when she looked at them, all she would ever see was Ryan.

“What are you—”

She halted her words because suddenly she knew. Ryan was leaving. Her heart, so recently buoyed by her night with Ian, cracked wide open.

A month later she waved goodbye to Jake, and she hadn’t been the same since. Fin finished school and after another six months of dating, she broke up with Ian when he moved to Sydney for university.

Fin stayed behind, completing her studies in environmental and marine science at the local university where she roomed with Rachael. Both girls were beautiful in their own right and dates were never hard to come by, despite Fin’s tendency to wear simple clothes like tank tops and sweatpants. Her heart just wasn’t in it to make the effort.

“My God. For once would you wear something that doesn’t make my eyes bleed,” Rachael told her as Fin dressed for another day of uni lectures. She blinked her huge brown eyes at Fin with exaggeration. With Rachael’s dark hair styled in a Mia Farrow pixie cut, it only made them look even bigger.

Fin laughed and did a bootie dance in Rachael’s face after yanking on her sweatpants.

Rachael groaned and tossed a cushion at her. “That was so not attractive.”

Fin puckered her lips at her friend. “You love me.”

“You’re lucky I do,” Rachael replied with a raise of her perfectly arched brows. “You know,” she added, “I reckon Ian would have stuck around if you’d tried hard enough.”

Fin, stuffing textbooks into her bag, paused and looked at Rachael. “Tried hard enough? Are you serious?”

Rachael flopped backwards onto her bed. “Yes. You never gave him a real chance, Fin. Honestly, the only time I’ve seen your eyes light up around a guy was when…”

Fin slung her bag onto her back. “When what?”

“When Ryan was around,” Rachael mumbled.

Three years and she hadn’t heard a word from Ryan. Anything she
did
know was all second hand information from Jake. They were finishing up SAS selection or would be soon. She wasn’t sure.

Fin frowned at Rachael. “Don’t mention his name.”

“Fine. Are you going out with that guy tonight? What’s his name—Marlin?”

“Marlin?” Fin laughed. “Martin. And maybe,” she replied, hoisting her bag over her shoulder.

“Good. I’ll pick you out something to wear,” Rachael yelled as Fin strode out the door, shutting it loudly behind her.

Later that afternoon Jake rang to tell her they made it through. Ryan had done exactly what he’d set out to do and soon they would be fighting in Afghanistan. That night she let Rachael dress her. In a slinky black dress, smoky eyes, and slick red lips, she didn’t recognise herself in the mirror.

Good.

Blowing off her date with Martin, she went out with Rachael and a group of friends and drank well into the night.

Hands grabbed her hips as she leaned over the bar to order another round of drinks.

“Baby,” came the voice in her ear.

“Ian!” She spun around. “You’re back.”

He stood there, bigger, older, and still as hot as she remembered. Paying for the drinks, she turned back to face him again. “You look good.”

Heavy lidded eyes roamed over her. “You look hot. I almost didn’t recognise you.”

Fin flushed, looking down at her dress. “I don’t usually dress like this.”

“I like it.” Sliding an arm around her waist, he leaned in, his eyes on her lips. “I missed you.”

Her eyes searched his face. “Me too. I missed you too, Ian.”

Ian’s eyes crinkled in a grin, and her heart lifted a little. “Wanna get out of here?”

Fin looked over at her friends. Rachael was giving her an obvious thumbs up. Her other friends were laughing and whooping, catching male attention and appearing to love every minute of it.

Taking a deep breath, she looked at him. “Okay.”

And just like that, they picked up where they left off.

That was two years ago. Fin graduated and Ian worked with the Perth City Police. He was pushing for them to move in together, yet Fin resisted. She valued her independence. She had a great job with the Department of Environment and Conservation. She also owned a restored cottage in Fremantle. She’d bought it with Jake when he came to visit before being sent on his first tour to Afghanistan.

Now they were back on their second deployment and Fin was thankful she was busy with work to take her mind off the worry. She’d completed an Antarctic research expedition last year and would be off for another one in two weeks. Ian wasn’t happy about it and she was waiting for the ultimatum. The sad part was she knew what she’d choose.

The phone rang, pulling her from her memories.

“Hello.”

“Hi, baby.”

“Ian,” she breathed softly and rolled out of bed, planting her feet on the solid timber floors. The same floors Jake had spent weeks sanding and refinishing during his return. The cottage was in the perfect spot, close to the beach and family. Single-story, painted beige with white trim, lush green lawns, and a back yard with a big timber deck covered with a large shade sail. A vegetable patch traversed the left side of the lawn, which gave her fits with the painstaking maintenance it required. Yet Fin persevered, hating to fail at anything.

A mammoth, smushed face Himalayan cat came trotting in as Fin stood up and shrugged on a short cotton robe. She tripped over him as she left the bedroom and slammed into the hallway wall face first.

“Dammit, Crookshanks,” she muttered irritably and rubbed at what felt like a painful, burgeoning lump on her forehead. “Why can’t you sleep in like normal cats?”

“Meow, meow,” he replied impatiently, looking more cranky than normal this morning. Fin had had Crookshanks since moving into the cottage, naming him after Hermione’s cat from her beloved Harry Potter books. What was not to love about a magical world where one could fly about on a broom without pillaging the world of resources in order to do so? Solving wars between worlds with just a flick of the wand.

“Tripping over again, Fin?” Ian said down the phone with a sigh.

“Just the cat,” she muttered, watching him trot ahead of her down the hallway and into the kitchen, checking behind him repeatedly to make sure she was hot on his heels.