Fighting to be Free by Kirsty Moseley (9 page)

I sat on the edge of my bed, fighting with myself as to whether I could look through her phone, there was bound to be photos on here. I sighed and put the phone down on the side, wow I’m turning into freaking stalker! I pulled off my shirt and headed to the bathroom, I caught sight of myself in the mirror as I walked past. My body disgusted me, I hated it and it made me hate myself so much. I couldn’t look at it, not without thinking about my past and I refused to do that. The past was the past.

I traced my hand over the biggest scar, the one Ellie had kissed. I started to think about how it happened and I got so angry that I smashed my fist into the mirror, ignoring the pain in my knuckles. “Shit,” I mumbled, looking at the now smashed mirror. At least the glass didn’t shatter everywhere, just kind of cracked in on itself in the shape of my fist, with cracks spreading the length of it. Well at least I wouldn’t be able to see my scars anymore, I smiled sadly and headed to the shower.

About an hour later, I heard
’Ridin’ solo’
by Jason Derulo
,
coming from her cell phone. I laughed at her ring tone and grabbed her phone, hopefully this would be her and I could arrange give her the phone back. I suddenly got really excited at the thought of speaking to her. Wow, that can’t be good!

I snapped open the phone, “Err…. hello?” I said, unsure how to really start. Crap, maybe she thought I stole it or something!

“Well hi, who’s this?” she asked flirtily.

“Hey, Ellie. It’s Jamie,” I said, getting my hopes up at seeing her again. Maybe I could ask her to meet me out or something tonight to give her back her phone.

“Right, no, this isn’t Ellie, I’m Stacey. You obviously have Ellie’s phone,” the girl said. Oh crap it wasn’t Ellie? Damn, well maybe I could ask this girl to pass on a message and ask her to meet me out.

“Oh hey, sorry I thought you were Ellie. Err… yeah she left her phone here. Listen, do you think maybe Ellie would like to meet me for dinner tonight and I could give her the phone back?” I asked hopefully.

“I’m sure she’d love to meet you tonight for dinner to get her phone back, Jamie,” she said, sounding amused.

I wracked my brains trying to think of somewhere I could take her, the only place I could think of was a place I walked past on the high street the other day, I had no idea if it was a nice place.

“Yeah? Awesome! Maybe we could meet at about eight, outside Alexandra’s…. or I could pick her up,” I offered, not really knowing how all this dating stuff worked. Not that we were dating, for all I knew this girl could arrange for me to meet Ellie, and then not see her to tell her about it. Or maybe she‘d tell her and Ellie wouldn’t even be that bothered about her phone and not want to meet me at all.

“Absolutely, she’ll meet you there at eight then, ok.” She disconnected the call and I grinned. Oh my God, seriously? Did she just arrange me a date with Ellie? I laughed, her friend seemed very sure she’d go, she sounded like she thought it was funny. Maybe Ellie didn’t tell her about the crappy place I live, or what my body was like.

I glanced at the clock, it was only five so I’d have a couple of hours. I dialled the operator to find the number for the restaurant, and then called them booking a table for two. I could barely contain my excitement, maybe if I showed her how nicely I would treat her, she’d give me a shot. I couldn’t help but get my hopes up, I couldn’t wait to see her again.

At seven o’clock I threw on a clean t-shirt and jeans and headed into my bathroom, lifting the lid of the toilet cistern and pulling out the plastic bag that I had put in there, hiding all of my money. I pulled out $100 and wrapped the rest tightly in the bag, putting it back, wedging it in just above the water level. I grabbed my jacket and Ellie’s cell phone and headed out. I was so excited to get there, I wanted to be early in case she was.

I stopped and bought a single red rose, she wouldn’t really want a bunch of flowers to be worrying about all night, but a single one should be ok. I mean, that’s romantic, right? Wow, I suck at this so much. I pulled up at seven thirty and sat in the truck, getting more and more nervous by the second.

This was my first actual date, I actually had no idea what to do or say. How the hell was I supposed to treat her nicely, if I didn’t know how?

At quarter to eight I went to stand outside the restaurant. Shit, maybe I should have asked her where she was parking or something to make sure she didn’t have to walk anywhere in the dark. Jeez this whole dating thing is actually harder than it sounds.

A little while later she walked round the corner looking like a freaking goddess. The black leggings she was wearing made her legs look long and perfect, and the belt made the white top she was wearing cling to her tiny waist. I groaned internally. Wow, maybe this wasn’t a good idea meeting her again, it was like torture wanting her and knowing she wasn’t interested. She smiled making me smile too, she looked a little nervous as well, which made me feel better.

“Hey,” she said quietly.

“Err hey, you look, err…..you look….wow. I mean, you just look….. yeah, just….wow,” I stuttered.

Yeah I just made myself look like I first class prick. Oh God Jamie, you are so smooth it’s just unreal. She laughed and blushed, dropping her eyes to the floor. The red on her cheeks made her look even more beautiful, if that was possible.

“Umm thanks, you look good too.” She smiled, biting her lip nervously. I groaned internally again, yeah I was wearing a plain grey t-shirt and she looks like that, seriously I am totally out of my league with this girl.

“Here’s your phone, nice ring tone by the way,” I said, holding it out to her.

She laughed, “Err yeah, I put that on there when I broke up with Mark, thought that song was appropriate,” she said, laughing as she pushed the phone into her purse. I laughed, she didn’t seem to upset about the breakup, which I guess was a good thing, maybe it wouldn’t take her long to get over him.

“I got you this too.” I held out the rose, feeling like a complete clueless idiot.

She looked at it a little shocked, “You did? Thank you.” She looked back at me, smiling gratefully as she traced her fingers over the petals lightly.

Ok, I score one for that. I looked into her eyes, they were the strangest colour eyes I had ever seen in my life. They were a kind of blue-grey colour, just indescribable and beautiful, I could feel my heart beating too fast. Damn it, come on Jamie, get it together!

“Well shall we go in? Are you hungry?” I asked, nodding to the door.

She grinned, “I’m starving.” I pulled the door open and nodded for her to go in first. I couldn’t help but look at her ass as she walked past, it honestly made my mouth water.

We were shown to our table and I was calming down slightly, the nerves easing off as I remembered last night and how easy she was to talk to.

“So what do you do then, Jamie?” she asked, as we looked over the menus.

Crap, now what? “Err… I work with cars. I’m currently fixing up cars for the scrap yard and then they sell them at auctions,” I said smiling. Ok, that’s not a total lie, that was the plan it’s just not definite yet.

“Yeah, you fix cars? Well that’s handy to know, my car’s always breaking down,” she said laughing.

“Lucky you have my number then, huh?” I said, trying to flirt with her, I’m not sure it was really working, I wasn‘t very good at it. “What about you, you’re a senior I guess, right? You wanna go to college?”

She nodded, “Yeah, I’m not sure what I want to do yet though, I’ve never really had a specific thing I’m interested in. My parents are always hounding the crap out of me to pick a major, but I just don’t care. I think I’d rather go travelling.”

I laughed, “Well who wouldn’t rather go travelling than be in school?” I teased.

We chatted easily through the rest of dinner about places we wanted to go and why, books, movies, favourite things. It was probably the easiest conversation I’d ever had in my life. I found myself acting normal around her, being me without the tough act I put on, which is very unusual. Whenever the conversation turned to my past, I would deflect it off to something else. I didn’t want her asking about my past, where I lived, or my family. I didn’t want to lie to her like I did to everyone else.

“So, you want to catch a movie or something?” I asked hopefully, as we finished eating.

“Err yeah ok. It’s not late, right?” she asked, nodding at my watch.

I checked the time, it was only just after nine thirty. “No, it’s not late,” I told her, grinning as I put money on the table to pay for dinner.

“I can pay,” she protested, grabbing her purse.

“I got it.” I took her hand and pulled her away from the table, grabbing my jacket from the coat rack on the way past. As we stepped outside I put it around her shoulders and discretely left my arm there too, she didn’t protest so I grinned proudly as I led her to the movie theatre.

The only thing due to start within the next hour was some crappy sounding movie about a singer who lived in a trailer park, trying to make it big. When we went in we were literally the only ones in there.

“Wow, does this tell you that this film is gonna be a pile of crap?” she whispered as we sat down. I laughed and nodded, she really was funny, and so damn beautiful.

After about ten minutes of the movie I was totally bored, it was awful so I started making little jokes about the characters, making her laugh. In the end we gave up watching the movie and started talking some more, there was no one in there to stop us so it really didn’t matter.

“How come you spilt up with your boyfriend?” I asked curiously, as I turned in my seat and took her hand gently hoping she wouldn‘t mind. She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“I don’t know, he was kind of possessive. He didn’t like me talking to other guys, not that I would have ever cheated on him or anything, he just didn’t trust me and it all got too much,” she said, shrugging.

Wow, what an idiot, he didn’t just lose her, he pushed her away by being an ass. “When did you break up with him?”

“Friday night.” She looked down at our hands as I played with her fingers. Friday night? Wow, I I slept with her on Saturday, no wonder she wasn’t looking for anything right now. It was too soon for her.

“So, you’re definitely not looking to start anything right now then?” I asked, mentally crossing my fingers she would say she wasn’t opposed to the idea of a relationship.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I just want to be on my own for a while, be my own person without having to worry about being part of a couple, I’ve not really had that before. I got with Mark when I was fourteen and that was it,” she said shrugging.

Ok, well that’s a
‘I’m not interested, please don’t ask me out again, Jamie’
I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. This girl really was awesome.

I nodded and changed the subject to her friends, she was obviously uncomfortable talking about this Mark guy.

She currently telling me about her friend Stacey, who Ellie thinks is beautiful and models part time.

Apparently she was the blonde from the club that Ray liked and wanted me to hook up with.

“Yeah, I would kill to look like her,” she said enviously. I frowned, seriously does she not know how hot she is?

“Are you kidding? Why the hell would you want to look any different? You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” I said honestly, shaking my head at how absurd she was.

“Again with the corny lines, stud?” she teased, blushing slightly.

“It’s not a line, Ellie.”

She moved in her chair and pressed her lips to mine gently. The kiss was sweet and soft, and just incredible. When she pulled away, I kissed her again, not wanting it to end. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me closer to her and kissed me hungrily. It wasn’t sweet like the last one, it was hot and heavy and I loved it.

I pulled her onto my lap, needing to feel her body on mine as I kissed her like my life depended, on it savoring every last second in case I never to kiss her again. I traced my hands down her back slipping them under her top, feeling her soft skin of her back under my fingertips. She was straddling me and tipped her head back as I kissed down the side of her neck.

Someone cleared their throat and I pulled away, opening my eyes and looked over her shoulder, to see an usher shining a torch at us, frowning disapprovingly. She buried her face in the side of my neck and I put my hand on the back of her head trying to hide her.

“Sorry. Yeah we’re done,” I said, grinning at the guy who was shaking his head at us. She moved off of my lap, still looking the other way from the usher and I couldn’t stop laughing at her red face, she was so embarrassed.

“Wanna go?” she whispered uncomfortably.

“Yeah sure,” I agreed, trying not to laugh again, she was so damn embarrassed but it just made it all the more funny to me. She moved to the other side of me, hiding her face against my shoulder as we walked past the guy. Her head down, her body pressed against my side, as if she was trying to melt into me and disappear.

“Shit Jamie, that was so embarrassing! I swear I almost died of a heart attack,” she muttered when we were in the lobby. I brushed her hair back, wanting to see more of her gorgeous face.

“It’s ok, come on it’s funny Ellie, you must admit. We were only making out,” I said honestly still laughing. She slapped my chest shaking her head disapprovingly, but had a smile playing at the edge of her lips.

“You think that’s funny?” she teased, I nodded and she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the ladies bathrooms. “Let’s see how funny you find it when you get caught in here.” She leant against the door, smirking at me. She really was too adorable.

“Hmm, you know maybe for our second date, maybe we could get caught making out in the park or something?” I suggested hopefully.

She stiffened slightly, “Jamie, I can’t, I’m sorry. You really are a nice guy but I just can’t handle going out with someone at the moment.” She looked at me apologetically and I felt my heart sink a little. Damn Jamie, you had to push it, couldn’t leave it alone, great job asshole.