Final Score (3 page)

‘And what bigger picture would that be?’ Max asked, sipping his tea.

Ryan threw his head back, letting out another long sigh. ‘Jesus,
I
don’t know, do I?’

‘You might want to start getting your head straight, kiddo. Big match tomorrow, and Wearside Spartans are no pushover. They’ve had a cracking start to this season, and Brandon Palmer is proving to be a force to be reckoned with. Just like his father used to be in his playing days. That kid’s certainly inherited some of the Allen genes.’

Ryan threw Max another look.

‘Deal with it, Ryan.’ Max placed his half-drunk mug of tea down onto the counter. ‘I’m off to Tynebridge. Want me to pass a message on to Amber?’

Ryan shook his head. ‘Would there be any point?’

*

Amber walked briskly down the tunnel and up the stairs that led back into the ground itself. Her head was down as she reached the top, checking her emails on her phone, so she didn’t see him coming towards her. He was equally as engrossed in something on his own phone, his head also down, so the resulting, inevitable clash couldn’t really have been avoided.

‘Oh, I’m sorry, I…’ She stepped back slightly as her eyes met his, her heart immediately jarring, causing her to take a deep breath. ‘I wasn’t looking where I was going.’

‘No, well, neither was I.’ He smiled, just a small smile, but it reminded Amber of how devastating his smile could be – to her. How it always had been. How it probably always would be. ‘Are you okay? I mean, in general. I haven’t really spoken to you, properly, in a while, so… how are things, with the baby and… is Rico… is he alright?’

‘Rico’s doing just fine, thank you.’ She couldn’t help smiling herself, but this time it was because of the mention of her son’s name. Her perfect boy. ‘He… he’s beautiful. And, yeah, I know every mother probably says that about their baby, but…’

‘If he takes after you then I can only imagine how beautiful he really is.’ Jim’s eyes were still boring into hers, but then, almost as if someone had flicked a switch, he broke the stare and looked back down at his phone. ‘I’d better be going. Got a lot to catch up with before we leave for the hotel tonight. Good to see you, Amber.’

She stood rooted to the spot, watching him as he walked away, back towards his office, her stomach turning involuntary somersaults. Even after everything that had happened.

‘Shit!’ she muttered under her breath, finding Ryan’s number and pressing dial.

‘Hey, beautiful. What’s up?’

‘I’m gonna be tied up here for a bit longer. Can you bring Rico with you when you come down to the stadium?’

‘Yeah, okay. I’ll get him ready and we’ll be with you in about half an hour. Everything alright?’

‘Yeah. Fine. Just a little behind with a few things, that’s all. I’ll see you soon.’ She hung up before he could start anything resembling a conversation. She wasn’t really in the mood, not now.

‘You okay?’

‘I’m fine, Ronnie.’ Amber slid her phone back into her jeans pocket. ‘Where did you spring from, anyway? I thought you were up in the studio.’

‘I was. But they’ve sorted out that lighting problem now. You ready to get out of here?’

Amber fell into step beside him as they made their way through the ground and back up to the studio that had been set up for the live broadcast of tomorrow’s match.

‘Almost. I just want to check over a few things before I go.’

‘What things?’ Ronnie asked, frowning slightly. ‘You’re all but done; you should be heading home now.’

‘Ryan’s bringing Rico with him. He’s got to come here to join the rest of the team before they head off for the hotel, so…’

‘What’s going on, Amber?’ Ronnie stopped walking and leaned back against the wall, folding his arms, his eyes meeting hers, even though she was trying anything she could to avoid looking directly at him.

‘Nothing’s going on.’

‘Cut the crap and talk to me. Come on, I’m your best friend and I know when you’ve got something on your mind. Or should that be some
one
? Actually, come to think of it, maybe it should be Ryan you’re talking to. I’m no fan of his, as you well know, but that doesn’t mean I agree with you stringing the guy along.’

‘No one’s stringing anyone along.’

Ronnie just arched an eyebrow.

‘Jesus Christ…’ Amber sighed, pushing a hand through her hair. ‘I don’t know.’ She leaned back against the wall beside Ronnie. ‘I can’t stop thinking about him.’

‘Then you need to do something about that.’

‘Like what?’

‘How the hell should
I
know?’

Amber turned her head to look at Ronnie. ‘This is ridiculous. I’m a frigging mess.’

‘Your
life
is a mess.’

‘Thanks for that.’

‘Do you want me to lie to you?’

‘No.’

‘Then deal with the truth.’

‘I love you, too.’

He looked at her. ‘I’m not doing this to be cruel, Amber. But you really need to get this sorted. You’ve got a child now. You’ve got someone other than yourself to think about.’

‘I’m aware of that.’ Her eyes locked with his. ‘I thought I loved him, Ronnie. I really thought I did. Or that I could, again. I thought it would all come back, all those feelings, and I thought I’d just fall in love with him all over again.’

‘I don’t think you’ve ever loved Ryan Fisher. Not really.’

‘Hang on. You don’t know…’

‘Amber, I do. I
do
know. And I don’t think you ever really loved him.’

Amber looked down at the floor, scraping her heel against the skirting board. ‘He’s never going to go away, is he? Jim. He’s never going to go away.’

‘Not if you don’t want him to.’

She looked back up at Ronnie. ‘He doesn’t want me any more.’

‘And he’s told you that, has he?’

‘He divorced me, Ronnie. What more proof do I need?’

‘That means nothing where you two are concerned.’

‘He doesn’t want me any more,’ Amber repeated, staring back down at the floor. ‘The way he’s acting. I saw him just now and… He doesn’t want me, Ronnie. It’s over.’ She threw her head back and let out a heavy sigh, one that wracked her entire body. ‘Okay.’ She took a long, deep breath, shaking her hair out before pushing both hands through it. ‘It’s time to grow up and do the only thing I
can
do right now.’

Ronnie frowned slightly. ‘And what’s that, exactly?’

Her eyes met his again, and this time there was a look of determination that he hadn’t seen from her in a while. ‘I’m moving to London.’

Chapter Three

‘London.’ Ryan looked at her as though she’d suddenly started talking in a foreign language. ‘You’re moving to London? And you’re telling me this
now?
An hour before frigging kick-off?’

‘I don’t
want
to move to London…’

‘Then why the hell are you going? Jesus, Amber…’

‘Because I have to, Ryan. I have to.’

He stared at her, his dark eyes boring deep into hers. ‘You have to.’

‘I have to,’ she repeated, her voice quiet but steady. Surprisingly so. ‘I can’t stay here, Ryan. I can’t do it any more.’

Ryan took a couple of steps back, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘I fucking hate it when I’m right.’

Amber frowned, folding her arms against herself. ‘Sorry?’

His eyes were back on hers, wide and full of something Amber couldn’t quite read. ‘You and Jim. It isn’t ever gonna be over, is it?’

What could she say to that? ‘He doesn’t want me, Ryan.’

Ryan laughed, turning away from her for a brief second or two. ‘Jesus… you really believe that, do you? You really believe he doesn’t want you?’ He turned back to face her. ‘
I
want you, Amber. Me. I love you, do you know that? Do you know just how much I love you?’

‘Ryan…’

‘But it isn’t ever gonna be enough. Not while
he’s
still around. Nobody else stands a fucking chance.’

‘It doesn’t have to be this way, Ryan.’

‘Oh, really? It doesn’t, huh? You’ve just told me you’re taking my son to the other end of the country, Amber. He’s three months old and you’re taking him away from me.’

‘I’m not taking him away from you…’

‘Yes. You are. If you’re living down there I can’t see him every day. I can’t just pop round and hold him, or rock him to sleep or feed him. I can’t do that if you’re hundreds of miles away.’

‘And you know as well as I do, Ryan, that I will be up here almost as much as I am now.’

‘And that’s good for Rico, is it? Being dragged up and down the country just because you can’t get your fucking head straight.’

‘I’m not listening to this…’

He reached out and grabbed her arm, swinging her around to face him. ‘You won’t even give us a chance, Amber.’ His voice was softer now, almost pleading in tone. ‘If you really believe he doesn’t want you then why don’t you just move on and give
us
a chance?’

She looked at him, her eyes staring deep into his even though meeting his gaze was the last thing she really wanted to do.

‘We have a baby together, Amber. A baby. Our son. How incredible is that, huh?’

‘And what if that isn’t enough, Ryan?’ She wasn’t entirely sure she’d meant to say those words out loud, but they were out there now. She’d said them. She couldn’t take them back.

Ryan laughed, one of those laughs that carried no humour. No real feeling. ‘I can’t believe you’re laying this on me right before one of the biggest matches of the season.’ He let go of her arm, turning away from her for a second. ‘Jesus, Amber, your timing really sucks, sweetheart.’

‘I couldn’t agree more.’

Amber swung around, her heart shuddering to some kind of brief standstill in her chest as she saw Jim standing there, tall and handsome in a dark suit and white shirt, his face impassive as he stared at her.

‘You should know better than to distract my players so close to kick-off, Amber.’ He focused his attention on Ryan, who’d turned back around now, his eyes down on the ground. ‘Back to the dressing room, Ryan, come on. Get your head back in the game and keep your private life off the pitch. You got that?’

Ryan nodded, throwing Amber a brief look before walking away. Amber leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes for a second or two as she willed her heart to slow down, to stop beating so wildly because it hurt. Everything that was happening now – Jim being so close to her, what she was doing to Ryan; her ridiculously messed-up feelings. It all hurt.

‘We need to talk.’

She slowly opened her eyes, daring to meet his, this man who would never go away. She’d thought he had, once upon a time. She thought she’d safely put him and everything they’d shared to one side, learnt to live with the past and move on. But she hadn’t done any of that. She’d never put him to one side or learnt to live without him. She’d only kidded herself that she had.

‘Do we?’ She swallowed hard, her eyes still on his. They were locked there, refusing to leave, and it was doing nothing for that irrational heartbeat of hers. ‘Now? I mean, I’m supposed to be…’

‘We need to talk,’ he repeated. ‘So, yes. Now.’

She blinked a couple of times, trying to work out whether she was actually in the middle of some kind of weird dream that had made her mess this day up so spectacularly. What the hell had she been thinking? Telling Ryan she was moving away from the north-east on the day of the derby! One of the biggest, most important matches of the entire season, and she’d just distracted Red Star’s striker in the worst possible way. What was wrong with her? She would never have acted this way a couple of years ago, when her life was well-ordered and safe. When Jim had still been nothing but a distant memory and Ryan was just one of those names she talked about at work.

She watched as Jim walked away, in the direction of his office down the corridor, but it was as though her feet were glued to the spot. She couldn’t move, couldn’t follow him.

He turned around, digging his hands in his pockets. ‘Amber?’

She bit down on her lip, confusion washing over her. What was going on here? With her feet finally allowing her to move, she followed him to his office, walking inside as he closed the door behind them – a door that still had no lock on it. A door that, on a day such as this, could have more traffic coming through it than the busiest of motorways. So why didn’t she care when he reached out and took her hand, swinging her around and pushing her back against that door, his mouth hitting hers with a kiss so hard it literally took her breath away. Because she just hadn’t been expecting that. She hadn’t… had she?

It was crazy, the sudden rush of intense and painful feelings that engulfed her as she shrugged off her shirt, pulling at his jacket, almost ripping it away from him as fingers pulled at clothes and the inevitability of what was happening here became nothing but an action neither of them was willing to stop. Even though Amber didn’t understand it, or know what the implications of this would be. She just wanted him, pure and simple. She needed him. She always had, and she always would. No matter what.

She closed her eyes as he yanked down her jeans, and she stepped out of them, kicking them away, keeping her eyes closed as he did the same with her knickers, almost tearing them away from her body with an indecent haste, but she didn’t care. To be naked in his arms again was the only thing she’d wanted for so long, even if she hadn’t been grown-up enough to admit that.

She heard him unzip his pants before his hands slipped underneath her bottom, lifting her up, and she finally opened her eyes as he backed her up against the door, pushing into her so hard it took all the strength she had not to cry out loud. Her legs were wrapped around his hips, her fingers buried in his hair as he thrust into her with an almost violent force that was both painful and beautiful, every inch of her body tingling as the pressure built, getting ready to explode, and she clung on tighter, waiting for him to give her everything she’d needed, everything she’d craved from this man since she’d been sixteen years old. And when he came, just minutes after he’d pushed inside her, she couldn’t help but cry out his name, quickly burying her face in his hair to stifle the volume. And he held her as she shuddered in his arms, as those tingles and those shivers took over, making her feel more alive than she’d felt in months. He held her until it was over. And she didn’t want him to let her go.